Incredibly bored at work....

[trendsetter37]

I think other people have experienced this as well, but I've been finding myself incredibly bored at work. Everything just seems futile.

I know that if I do synthesize something useful to humanity in the lab it is just going to be patented so that the company I work for will have the upper hand. This understanding is grating on my consciousness. I'm to the point now that I'm simply reading sott or books on my computer and barely keeping up with test reactions so that they are not suspicious of me. I understand that I'm here in 3rd Density to learn but this rat race is becoming very disconcerting.

I know that people always say do what makes you happy but the experiments/ideas I have to either test and subsequently publish the findings so that everyone could benefit, takes time and money; two things that the system makes sure that we do not have so that we are constrained as monetary slaves.

How do you guys cope with this and/or balance what needs to be done in order to stay afloat but without drawing attention to yourself. I don't want to sound like i'm complaining but sometimes it's mentally crushing to realize you are thoroughly trapped. Especially when you begin learning so much about the world we live in.

 

[Carl]

This is all totally normal. Just a word of warning though, the idea that you can use your job and work within the system for something positive is very unlikely.

Go in, do the job well, play the role, and take your money home. It's really that simple. We don't live in a world where you can 'follow your dreams' all of the time, so just be stoic and use it to your advantage.

There is also a balance to be found with work, and we have to take care of ourselves, fit time in for relaxation, constant reading, networking and other such things. Many members deal with this, including myself, and it can become a difficult juggling act. If your job is so easy that you sit around bored, consider yourself lucky!

I'm sure most of us still have moments of thinking "what's the point?". We'd all love to live in a real soul community doing happy, productive work/play, but the system still has us by the cojones. Think of it as an exercise in conscious suffering.

That's just my viewpoint right now anyway.

 

[LQB]

Well, nothing has really changed with this reality except your perception of it due to increased knowledge. I know the loss of motivation and even desperation that can come along with a better alignment with reality perception. But I would say that these feelings are temporary. The gap that the disinterest leaves in your job can be leveraged to greatly increase your knowledge/perception how the job, people, company, and system support the "front" that keeps so many folks asleep. And that gap can really support the Work in terms of self observation, external consideration, and a renewed focus on the people you work and interact with.

Just a few thoughts based on some of my own experiences ... fwiw

 

[trendsetter37]

Thanks I will definitely keep that in mind on the path forward. I have often thought that it is prob. for the best that they are really laid back about what we do (hands off as long as we are consistently trying reactions they give us). Just sometimes it feels lonely because everyone is so happy at work but I like you said I think this is a time to really dig deep and stay focused with balance, being objectively aware, as well as practicing strategic enclosure.

 

[Lycan]

@trendsetter37

I'm working in the shipyard. It is physically demanding, maybe that is what makes it kinda hard to get bored. But than again I hear people around me complaining similar to you so i guess there is that even in physically demanding jobs.

From my perspective i try to be focused on work at hand, in time it gets really hard since all the sweat, closed space, dangers and sometimes its hard because of repetitive tone of it and yet i need to be in the now or risk "doing" something that in the end someone else will have to fix.

I think of it as training rather than something that has weight on me. Yes if I think of it as cage and get drown in it, sure it gets me more than any physical work and things start to get very ugly, so yes its is a cage but since I'm in it why not make best of it. Even if I get outside from that cage I will still only get in the larger one so, I can look at it as bars around me and weep or I can take best of it and train my self. I mean in any case it is really good will training. Things at the beginning didn't look like this, they were more like you explain yourself, it became boring because i had thought that its waste of time in some sense, that things are falling apart and things going in the world becoming disconcerting, as yourself have putted, and yes we can think of them as that but that doesn't mean I have to crumble.

In the end world doesn't just changes because we have learn more about it, but at least we can adapt if we want to. It is good to have outside motivation but eventually one would be better of if finds it within himself, to me was that I can think of it as burden or I can think of it as training, weak person can't help others... At lest that is how I think of it and so far so good, it works...

 

[Zadius Sky]

Thanks I will definitely keep that in mind on the path forward. I have often thought that it is prob. for the best that they are really laid back about what we do (hands off as long as we are consistently trying reactions they give us). Just sometimes it feels lonely because everyone is so happy at work but I like you said I think this is a time to really dig deep and stay focused with balance, being objectively aware, as well as practicing strategic enclosure.

I agree with others here that it's fairly normal to be experiencing these kind of things when you're growing in knowledge and your perception changes accordingly. And, working with other people whom are not awake to the state of reality can be frustrating to which exercising an external consideration is essential.

I currently work at an office as a temporary and I do what I can while observing my co-workers and my reactions to them. I keep seeing these people being happy where they are, and in our conversations, I kept noticing the basic - they all are looking forward to whatever pleasures after work or to the weekends. They keep themselves busy with whatever keeps them happy, basically.

When you wrote "bored" in the title, I am reminded of a dream that I had some times ago after thinking the same thoughts that you were expressing, and the lesson of that dream showed me that a boredom is an intentional and a form of belief to blind you from any other possibilities at that given moment. To think of things so dull and so hopeless, you're forcing yourself to be trapped in that state of mind and you would be lulled back into sleep "on their terms," so to speak. No moment is ever void of possibilities.

For what it's worth. :)

 

[Buddy]

I'm to the point now that I'm simply reading sott or books on my computer and barely keeping up with test reactions so that they are not suspicious of me.

You may actually be in a state of emergency and not fully realize it. So much of your discretionary or voluntary attention, and thus your free energy, has been spent on your computer rather than on your work, that now you've dropped into a state of boredom. With me, that means I'm now locked into context-based attentional resources, worrying about unpleasant things in my immediate environment as well as my social and political environments.

I think it would be wise to go to a park or somewhere with lots of nature and just relax awhile, thinking about nothing so much as just interact with nature while some attentional fuel replenishes. It helps me a lot. It's also an effective therapy for ADD children, believe it or not.

Until then, try to get back into the moment, fully associated with your work, treating your work routines like a Japanese tea ceremony - with aesthetically pleasing qualities like precision and attention to detail, imagining yourself at the leading edge of now, just before the molecules in your formulas know which way they're going to move next. It could be a good exercise in developing will enough to concentrate and stay focused until you can leave work for more stimulating pursuits.

My 2 cents.

 

[aaronfransen]

I find myself in much the same situation, but in my case I'm carried through by virtue of a supportive home life. Frankly it's the only thing that keeps me going these days.

Yesterday my naturopath told me at my testosterone was really low, so maybe that has a role to play too?!

Don't know if any of that helps, but at least you're not alone.

 

[beetlemaniac]

I'm to the point now that I'm simply reading sott or books on my computer and barely keeping up with test reactions so that they are not suspicious of me.

You may actually be in a state of emergency and not fully realize it. So much of your discretionary or voluntary attention, and thus your free energy, has been spent on your computer rather than on your work, that now you've dropped into a state of boredom. With me, that means I'm now locked into context-based attentional resources, worrying about unpleasant things in my immediate environment as well as my social and political environments.

I agree with what Buddy says. At work I have noticed when I have an avoidant attitude towards work in lieu of pursuing other interests, my emotions become very constrained - mostly fear-based related to what others are thinking about me (do they look at me as a slacker?, should I be doing work now?, is my boss upset with me?, etc). This tends to create a negative spiral effect to your life narrative, and therefore this approach to the drudgery of work is essentially counterproductive. In my case I am applying a few strategies to avoid dropping into a state of immobility (which can manifest as boredom) by:

Not looking at the clock in anticipation
Not refusing extra work (occasionally volunteering to help others)
Keeping the diaphragm and lower abdomen flexible by pipe breathing
Noticing when constricting postures arise in the body - not to fight against them but just observe

I notice a lot of body-related issues from being in a sedentary modern work environment and feeling the "helplessness" as outlined in the book In an Unspoken Voice when he talks about the state of immobility. On top of that we may be currently processing our own stored traumatic feelings which muddy up the picture even further. I've yet to read Trauma and the Body and dare I say it, Polyvagal Theory but I think there are some precious insights there as well. Still, I am not sure if all this actually applies in your case, YMMV.

I think it would be wise to go to a park or somewhere with lots of nature and just relax awhile, thinking about nothing so much as just interact with nature while some attentional fuel replenishes. It helps me a lot. It's also an effective therapy for ADD children, believe it or not.

Working out has helped me move out of stagnation, I seem to be a very body-oriented person so again, YMMV.

Until then, try to get back into the moment, fully associated with your work, treating your work routines like a Japanese tea ceremony - with aesthetically pleasing qualities like precision and attention to detail, imagining yourself at the leading edge of now, just before the molecules in your formulas know which way they're going to move next. It could be a good exercise in developing will enough to concentrate and stay focused until you can leave work for more stimulating pursuits.

I wholeheartedly agree, I think it's one of the imperatives for people who are doing the 4th Way work to always be conscious and not fall into dissociation. Sometimes you have to open your eyes a little wider - reaching out for possibilities that have just not occurred to you (paraphrasing the Last Hour of Life).

 

[loreta]

Every job is a door to learn about yourself and others. In my life I just had one good job, where I really felt happy, but for the rest of my jobs they where boring and difficult. What I do in this situation is meditate while doing the job. Use my imagination to help me to survive. For example: I was working in a hotel to clean the rooms. Nothing more boring then that is difficult to find. I decided to take this job in a special manner. Every room was a short story, mysterious and magic. Every room was a life, a novel, a tragedy, a story. I was part of this and put order in each room was also putting order in my life. The body language of each room was fascinating. My body was part of something new, each room was something new. And I became a very good room cleaner of the hotel. Doing cleaning I meditated of many things, my life, my dreams of travels, past and future, etc. What I mean is that even if the job is boring with boring companions you can learn something. Something about yourself, your patience, for example. Your compassion. Something about others.

Hope this can help a little. As someone said, you are not alone.

 

[trendsetter37]

Once again thanks guys for the mirror and tips. I've incorporated walking around our lakes and smoking a pipe during my breaks which helps tremendously osit; but that too has become something that i'm looking forward to or "when is the next time i can go outside". I think I need to really get into what i'm doing at work instead of an attitude of avoidance.

mostly fear-based related to what others are thinking about me (do they look at me as a slacker?, should I be doing work now?,

I too beetlemaniac was worried about them thinking that I was slacking on my productiveness but then they hired me full-time with benefits. (I was a temp.) I seriously thought I was about to be fired. However all that is passed and now another company has been contacting me for a position with them. It would be a raise but i'm almost certain I wouldn't have the free time I do now in research. It's weird. I used to worry about being unemployed before I found the "work" but now that i'm attempting the "work" other activities I used to strive for are presenting themselves in abundance.

Sometimes I think they are intentional distractions but at the the same time i'm trying to refrain from being paranoid.