syldan
Dagobah Resident
This is a topic that i have been curious about for some years, and i hope to be able to express it in a way that you can relate to.
For at least five years, my inner hearing has developed to a point where during the day, usually once, twice - usually not more, some days none at all, i hear very low sound blips in my inner ears. The only way i can describe this, is like some kind of information download as we understand it with computers. As if bits of info were being inserted in my head (inner ear) and they correspond to a form of pattern that i have come to recognize but cannot completely understand as of yet.
Basically, i can perceive a series of blip, blip, blips, etc, either in my right ear or my left ear. And what i have come to recognize is that when this happens, if i am very careful, i will notice that i react either: when it (this is mine own internal system, another's may be different) is on the right side of the head, this is sometimes accompanied by a slight pressure during the blips - right side always corresponds to some kind of 'positive' thing happening to me in the following hours of the blips, BUT (AND THIS HAPPENED TODAY IN A BIG WAY) if it is the left side of my head-inner ear being affected, then i know that a form of 'attack' is coming, and have learned to brace myself for the totally unexpected to provoke an exaggerated reaction to this unexpected event on my part. For example today, i was walking outside, and the blips were so strong that i stopped, took notice of them, and purposefully told myself: "Watch out, you know that this is usually a sign of incoming attack of some form". To my great dismay, an hour later, i was attacked full frontal by my mother, for something absolutely ridiculous, and even though i was fully aware that the only reaction was to walk away, it was beyond me, i just blew up, which is something that has not happened very often during my entire lifetime with my mom whom i have learned to handle with silk gloves on a permanent basis so as to avoid these blow-ups. There i was knowing full well that i was reacting to something that i usually would have smiled at and walked away from, and there, i gave change in the same attack mode that she came on to me with, like a boomerang.
Okay! First, if anyone else has come to notice this internal system in themselves, i would be glad to know it is if not common, at least not a sign of something pathological?
Secondly, has anyone else noticed the difference from right to left side alarm-blips? If so, can you share how you work with or around this?
Thirdly, and this is not simple, would you think that there are times when the reaction, although exaggerated for my own usual behavioral pattern, has a reason to be. As in, there are things that need to be said no matter how they come out, for the benefit of all concerned?
(Background context: In order to give a good example of what i am recounting here, i am someone who left home age 17 and traveled the world, raised my family on another continent, and came back to hometown after 20 years. At that time, my only brother had passed away, so i was my mom's only child, and realizing that i didn't know my mother, not only that, but that i had fled her and what i perceived as her ilk for two decades, i took a firm decision to become at least in her eyes, the best of sons. First by learning to know her, then by sharing as much of my life as she was interested in with her. SO for the past 3 years, her and i are best of friends and i have shared as much as i could with her, and reciprocally she has grown to be my mate, and sort of best friend, while i always keep the mother-son distance well and alive between us.)
Today, it began by her being already in a bad mood, which is fairly common, and i commented that while she was watching her fave tv station, being CNN, i said that they were trying to scare people with the bomb threats in planes, blablabla! She absolutely lost it, screamed me into my seat, saying that i was only ever sharing my negative view of everything and WHY WOULD THE GOVERNMENT WANT TO SCARE PEOPLE AM I A TOTAL IDIOT OR WHAT? To which i didn't budge. What came out of me was the simple question: Yeah but in fact, i feel like you have never really listened to a single word i have ever said, for in 55 years you have never acknowledged my opinion on one single subject, whereas you act as if you are so superior, parroting every line read on the tele-prompter as if it were gospel? Screaming her head off, she continued to say that NO! She never listened to a single word i have ever said because to her it is as if i lived on another planet! To which, instead of my usual behavior, this is a fairly common occurence between her and me, usually i would have walked away smiling, but today my heart pounded out of my chest and i boomeranged her negative energy back at her? (I am inserting these details in order to give an example, but this alarm-blip thing has warned me of much nastier situations, such as physical danger and such, in the past. Meaning, it was as if i was overtaken by some strange energy? And the alarm had warned me, and even though i had my warning, an hour earlier i just couldn't control myself.
Bref! Am i alone in hearing these warnings? (There was mention of this in the early transcripts, in relation to a person named Terry (if memory serves me right) in the early transcripts?) If anyone has anything to share about this internal alarm system, all shares will be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance, and sorry for tackling such a personnal subject, although, i have a feeling that others must be able to relate to something like this, somehow? Thanks!...
As a PS: once i began listening for this alarm system it became clearer, to the point where these days, i rarely if ever have one of these episodes of blips without noticing. I even make a note on my workbook of the time, and i have a code system for duration as well as id code for left or right ear 'ringing'. I'd like to also say that being aware of this alarm-system of sorts, it has been absolutely beneficial to me, and has spared me many nasty situations, because i was forewarned of something about to hit the proverbial fan!
NOTE: If this is not the best thread for this topic, please move it to the appropriate one. Merci.
For at least five years, my inner hearing has developed to a point where during the day, usually once, twice - usually not more, some days none at all, i hear very low sound blips in my inner ears. The only way i can describe this, is like some kind of information download as we understand it with computers. As if bits of info were being inserted in my head (inner ear) and they correspond to a form of pattern that i have come to recognize but cannot completely understand as of yet.
Basically, i can perceive a series of blip, blip, blips, etc, either in my right ear or my left ear. And what i have come to recognize is that when this happens, if i am very careful, i will notice that i react either: when it (this is mine own internal system, another's may be different) is on the right side of the head, this is sometimes accompanied by a slight pressure during the blips - right side always corresponds to some kind of 'positive' thing happening to me in the following hours of the blips, BUT (AND THIS HAPPENED TODAY IN A BIG WAY) if it is the left side of my head-inner ear being affected, then i know that a form of 'attack' is coming, and have learned to brace myself for the totally unexpected to provoke an exaggerated reaction to this unexpected event on my part. For example today, i was walking outside, and the blips were so strong that i stopped, took notice of them, and purposefully told myself: "Watch out, you know that this is usually a sign of incoming attack of some form". To my great dismay, an hour later, i was attacked full frontal by my mother, for something absolutely ridiculous, and even though i was fully aware that the only reaction was to walk away, it was beyond me, i just blew up, which is something that has not happened very often during my entire lifetime with my mom whom i have learned to handle with silk gloves on a permanent basis so as to avoid these blow-ups. There i was knowing full well that i was reacting to something that i usually would have smiled at and walked away from, and there, i gave change in the same attack mode that she came on to me with, like a boomerang.
Okay! First, if anyone else has come to notice this internal system in themselves, i would be glad to know it is if not common, at least not a sign of something pathological?
Secondly, has anyone else noticed the difference from right to left side alarm-blips? If so, can you share how you work with or around this?
Thirdly, and this is not simple, would you think that there are times when the reaction, although exaggerated for my own usual behavioral pattern, has a reason to be. As in, there are things that need to be said no matter how they come out, for the benefit of all concerned?
(Background context: In order to give a good example of what i am recounting here, i am someone who left home age 17 and traveled the world, raised my family on another continent, and came back to hometown after 20 years. At that time, my only brother had passed away, so i was my mom's only child, and realizing that i didn't know my mother, not only that, but that i had fled her and what i perceived as her ilk for two decades, i took a firm decision to become at least in her eyes, the best of sons. First by learning to know her, then by sharing as much of my life as she was interested in with her. SO for the past 3 years, her and i are best of friends and i have shared as much as i could with her, and reciprocally she has grown to be my mate, and sort of best friend, while i always keep the mother-son distance well and alive between us.)
Today, it began by her being already in a bad mood, which is fairly common, and i commented that while she was watching her fave tv station, being CNN, i said that they were trying to scare people with the bomb threats in planes, blablabla! She absolutely lost it, screamed me into my seat, saying that i was only ever sharing my negative view of everything and WHY WOULD THE GOVERNMENT WANT TO SCARE PEOPLE AM I A TOTAL IDIOT OR WHAT? To which i didn't budge. What came out of me was the simple question: Yeah but in fact, i feel like you have never really listened to a single word i have ever said, for in 55 years you have never acknowledged my opinion on one single subject, whereas you act as if you are so superior, parroting every line read on the tele-prompter as if it were gospel? Screaming her head off, she continued to say that NO! She never listened to a single word i have ever said because to her it is as if i lived on another planet! To which, instead of my usual behavior, this is a fairly common occurence between her and me, usually i would have walked away smiling, but today my heart pounded out of my chest and i boomeranged her negative energy back at her? (I am inserting these details in order to give an example, but this alarm-blip thing has warned me of much nastier situations, such as physical danger and such, in the past. Meaning, it was as if i was overtaken by some strange energy? And the alarm had warned me, and even though i had my warning, an hour earlier i just couldn't control myself.
Bref! Am i alone in hearing these warnings? (There was mention of this in the early transcripts, in relation to a person named Terry (if memory serves me right) in the early transcripts?) If anyone has anything to share about this internal alarm system, all shares will be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance, and sorry for tackling such a personnal subject, although, i have a feeling that others must be able to relate to something like this, somehow? Thanks!...
As a PS: once i began listening for this alarm system it became clearer, to the point where these days, i rarely if ever have one of these episodes of blips without noticing. I even make a note on my workbook of the time, and i have a code system for duration as well as id code for left or right ear 'ringing'. I'd like to also say that being aware of this alarm-system of sorts, it has been absolutely beneficial to me, and has spared me many nasty situations, because i was forewarned of something about to hit the proverbial fan!
NOTE: If this is not the best thread for this topic, please move it to the appropriate one. Merci.
