It's Tough Leading A Spiritual Life

j0da

j0da

Jedi Council Member
Today's interactions on this forum brought me to the fringe of my dearly guarded seriousness, so I just can't help, but post this one:

It's Tough Leading A Spiritual Life
(anonymous, edited by (at least) Miranda Suryadjaja and Max Sandor)

"I was having an out of body experience one day so I grounded myself and got centered with the help of my spirit guides and almost astral traveled anyway, but the phone rang. I sensed the negative vibrations so I threw the I-Ching and checked my numerology chart and nearly had a primal but my energy was too blocked so I did some bioenergetics and self parenting, took some flower essence and ate an organic oat bran ginseng muffin, but my inner child wasn't feeling nurtured yet so I had a Rice Dream Frozen Pie too, but that made me hyper so I did the relaxation response while listening to my subliminal tapes but I was feeling depersonalized so I did some polarity work, foot reflexology and past life regression, then rebirthed myself and called Moon Beam, the bodyworker, to make an appointment for a Shiatsu, Reike, Rolfing, Feldenkreis, Swedish, Japanese deep tissue massage but she flaked out and never returned my call so I decided to energize my crystals and do some positive imagery because all my visualization techniques and affirmations made my space feel invaded, so to get empowered, I got a psychic reading from Mother HeartLove around the issue of my assertiveness so I could feel my radiance and have some energy for my psycho-calisthenics and inversion swing before my harmonic brain-wave synergy session which made me more focused for my actualization seminar, holistic healing class and dreamworkshop, so I'd be more clear for my Gestalt behavioral cognitive transpersonal Reichian Jungian Freudian Ericksonian session at the hot springs but my aura was weak for my trance- channeling group so I fasted until noon to recharge my chakras and I sensed my intuition was high and my cycle was focused, so I turned on my ion generator to open up for my neural-linguistic programming session, but I needed to have my pyramid recharged before my guided synchronicity meditation, so I got some cranio-sacral therapy, which aligned me for the fire walk, which was between my tarot card reading and my sensory depivation tank appointment, but after all that I felt what I truly needed was a meaningful relationship to mirror myself so I went to my personal shaman, and then to my guru, but they were no help, so instead I went to the Intensive Whole Life Earth Rebirth Cosmic Expo Symposium Workshop to find someone who really knew what was going on, but that didn't work either, so I locked myself in a calcium-coated Orgone Box and went to sleep so I could 'get it' in the dream state.
But when I woke up I discovered I was still dreaming."

source: http://www.etext.org/Fiction/PurpleNotebook/ch52.html
Click to expand...
I think I'm done with spirituality today. I'm exhausted :D
 
loool, is that what we are going to become if we continue walking this path? :)
 
Believe it or not, I've met people like that - WAYYYY too many of them! That's one of the reasons we decided to more or less de-emphasize the whole C's thing. It attracted too many weirdos. They just didn't get it that it is an EXPERIMENT and it's not worth anything without research.

I can't tell you how many times we've had people like that wanting to attend sessions... they would come and be shocked that we didn't do rituals, wear kooky clothes, burn incense and all that nonsense. They would have absolute fits when we would take a break and drink coffee and eat cookies on the table where the board was and even, shudder!, tell jokes and laugh!

I just have the strong feeling that the Universe isn't even interested in all that silly stuff.

Yes, I understand all about resonant vibrations and all kinds of mysterious stuff, but I also know that the most sincere prayer/asking I ever did was one night when I was about to get hit head on by an oncoming car and there was nowhere to go. I said: "Oh shit!" and found myself miraculously past the oncoming car, his taillights receding in my rearview mirror and to this day I can't tell you how it happened. If it's a robust contact, none of that stuff matters. It's INSIDE you.
 
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