Hello all.
Many people I've spoken to about dreams talk about great dreams they had had where they were a hero or savior of some sort, or where they were being pursued by a killer. Not me. I've never had a dream about saving someone - instead I have dreams about killing people. Sometimes individually, sometimes rampage style with a big gun.
I have dreamt about being a soldier pursued by colleagues in a military base, and vividly shooting a few of them. I dreamt I was on a field trip to some place in grade school and I found myself alone in a room with two poodles; I cut them up and tried to switch their parts and put them back together; only after I had done this and found they did not reanimate did I realize something was wrong, and was shocked. I have essentially dreamed mostly about killing people or animals for no good reason (not even anger) and then feeling afraid and lost. Other times, I am simply on a rampage, or under some sort of trance, and not lucid enough to feel what I'm doing is wrong. I once dreamt I was in the amazon or someplace and it was my job to kill aborigine dissidents; I did it because I enjoyed the fight and simply did not think about consequences or the victims' feelings.
I never dreamed about killing something out of anger. Instead it is sometimes out of irrational curiosity, or even because I'm just holding a gun and pulling the trigger, and without the presence of mind to alter my actions or the direction they're going.
In these dreams there is always an element of confusion. In this confused dream state, consequences, remorse or guilt are impossible. While in this state I commit the deed; afterward the confusion passes and I look on what I've done and feel helpless and not in control, and lost. Or, I simply get an opportunity to kill something and, out of nothing more than curiosity, do so. Only after some dream time has passed and I'm stuck with the carcass do I begin to realize what has happened is not in any way normal and that something is wrong.
My observations are this:
1: the state of confusion in the dreams seems to be a necessary condition; otherwise I would just wake up or go lucid and change the dream. It is as if that part of my brain turns off deliberately for some reason. I suspect my subconscious mind does this on purpose with other parts of the brain as well, to produce certain dream effects necessary to keep me dreaming (for instance to create a person I don't recognize; part of my brain might be turned off while I am looking at them). Some things are so ridiculous and out-of-the-question for me that I will go lucid or wake myself up regardless of whether anything startling happens in the dream. Were I aware of my actions in my dreams I usually would not choose to do what I find myself doing.
2: My dreams seem to be constructed deliberately in such a way to keep me dreaming/sleeping. They deliberately obscure or skip over things which might catch my eye and make me feel something was off. If this happens it is all over and I either go lucid or wake up; I suspect it is because I am vigilant in this manner.
So, what do you think?
Many people I've spoken to about dreams talk about great dreams they had had where they were a hero or savior of some sort, or where they were being pursued by a killer. Not me. I've never had a dream about saving someone - instead I have dreams about killing people. Sometimes individually, sometimes rampage style with a big gun.
I have dreamt about being a soldier pursued by colleagues in a military base, and vividly shooting a few of them. I dreamt I was on a field trip to some place in grade school and I found myself alone in a room with two poodles; I cut them up and tried to switch their parts and put them back together; only after I had done this and found they did not reanimate did I realize something was wrong, and was shocked. I have essentially dreamed mostly about killing people or animals for no good reason (not even anger) and then feeling afraid and lost. Other times, I am simply on a rampage, or under some sort of trance, and not lucid enough to feel what I'm doing is wrong. I once dreamt I was in the amazon or someplace and it was my job to kill aborigine dissidents; I did it because I enjoyed the fight and simply did not think about consequences or the victims' feelings.
I never dreamed about killing something out of anger. Instead it is sometimes out of irrational curiosity, or even because I'm just holding a gun and pulling the trigger, and without the presence of mind to alter my actions or the direction they're going.
In these dreams there is always an element of confusion. In this confused dream state, consequences, remorse or guilt are impossible. While in this state I commit the deed; afterward the confusion passes and I look on what I've done and feel helpless and not in control, and lost. Or, I simply get an opportunity to kill something and, out of nothing more than curiosity, do so. Only after some dream time has passed and I'm stuck with the carcass do I begin to realize what has happened is not in any way normal and that something is wrong.
My observations are this:
1: the state of confusion in the dreams seems to be a necessary condition; otherwise I would just wake up or go lucid and change the dream. It is as if that part of my brain turns off deliberately for some reason. I suspect my subconscious mind does this on purpose with other parts of the brain as well, to produce certain dream effects necessary to keep me dreaming (for instance to create a person I don't recognize; part of my brain might be turned off while I am looking at them). Some things are so ridiculous and out-of-the-question for me that I will go lucid or wake myself up regardless of whether anything startling happens in the dream. Were I aware of my actions in my dreams I usually would not choose to do what I find myself doing.
2: My dreams seem to be constructed deliberately in such a way to keep me dreaming/sleeping. They deliberately obscure or skip over things which might catch my eye and make me feel something was off. If this happens it is all over and I either go lucid or wake up; I suspect it is because I am vigilant in this manner.
So, what do you think?
