Had a dream a few nights ago of being at school for weekend lessons. I had came to school a bit late with a girl (my girlfriend?) and someone pointed it out that I was late (I have a tendency to not be the most punctual person). But before I head to class I'm shown some ancient Irish cooking, and it's explained to me how it was made and what it was, but I don't remember the details.
I can't remember in what context this was, but I was shown a number of strange faces that seemed almost shadowy.
I finally reach my class, which I'm the only the student there, and my cousin's dad starts teaching me the lesson - which is to remember myself. There were 3 lessons to be taught.
1. He tells me to close my eyes than throws a plastic bag over my face to prevent me from breathing. I start panicing and freaking out, stop breathing - how anyone would react to something like that. But he points out I did not remember myself.
2. The 2nd lesson he's to my right and starts getting angry and starts yelling at me while making the motions to hit me. The same reaction occurs. I start getting scared, backing away and stop breathing. All of a sudden he appears on my left side smiling and I'm not nervous anymore. He makes some remarks about noticing the difference between the two.
3. Finally, the 3rd lesson has to do with sleeping outside in the rain overnight. I remember seeing through the lense of a camera watching the rain fall down all around and on the lense. Then I'm in my body and the night terror situations occurs. The same feelings of tenseness or of someone gripping onto my stomach muscles and twisting them around. I'm trying not to panic and breathe but it's hard because the gripping effect seems overpowering, like I was being twisted up into a pretzel.
I had done a Full EE session that night but fell asleep around the Ba-Ha portion while the CD was still playing. And have been reading ISOTM. A lot what Gurdjieff talks about have been frustrating me because it's right on the mark. Not remembering yourself, being one person now, then a few minutes later someone else. And seeing this in myself but feeling an overwhelming inability to do something about. Identification with thoughts and how easy it is, even when I put so much effort to remember myself and observe, my lens is still so narrow. Just as quickly as you remember to observe you fall back into sleep.
I can't remember in what context this was, but I was shown a number of strange faces that seemed almost shadowy.
I finally reach my class, which I'm the only the student there, and my cousin's dad starts teaching me the lesson - which is to remember myself. There were 3 lessons to be taught.
1. He tells me to close my eyes than throws a plastic bag over my face to prevent me from breathing. I start panicing and freaking out, stop breathing - how anyone would react to something like that. But he points out I did not remember myself.
2. The 2nd lesson he's to my right and starts getting angry and starts yelling at me while making the motions to hit me. The same reaction occurs. I start getting scared, backing away and stop breathing. All of a sudden he appears on my left side smiling and I'm not nervous anymore. He makes some remarks about noticing the difference between the two.
3. Finally, the 3rd lesson has to do with sleeping outside in the rain overnight. I remember seeing through the lense of a camera watching the rain fall down all around and on the lense. Then I'm in my body and the night terror situations occurs. The same feelings of tenseness or of someone gripping onto my stomach muscles and twisting them around. I'm trying not to panic and breathe but it's hard because the gripping effect seems overpowering, like I was being twisted up into a pretzel.
I had done a Full EE session that night but fell asleep around the Ba-Ha portion while the CD was still playing. And have been reading ISOTM. A lot what Gurdjieff talks about have been frustrating me because it's right on the mark. Not remembering yourself, being one person now, then a few minutes later someone else. And seeing this in myself but feeling an overwhelming inability to do something about. Identification with thoughts and how easy it is, even when I put so much effort to remember myself and observe, my lens is still so narrow. Just as quickly as you remember to observe you fall back into sleep.
