Life is getting really weird, really fast....

Hi Darius1234,

Sometimes, when we have powerful experiences that change our perspective or have a big impact in our lives, we can start projecting our own fears and unresolved issues outside of ourselves, and that can distract us from dealing with what we have to resolve within us.

Now, I'm not dismissing what you have shared with us or saying that it isn't real. I'm just wondering if some part of you could be projecting the conflict within to the world outside. Also, if this is the case, there's nothing to be ashamed of as we all do this sometimes and to different degrees. It might not be your case at all, but I wanted to mention it because it might be helpful to recognize it if you can see some projection happening and maybe ground yourself as much as you can so that you can see those situations you describe with more clarity. Maybe some prayers can help with this too?

It seems that you have indeed gone through a lot, so kudos to you for coming this far. Have you ever tried therapies that help deal with trauma?
I`ll definitely look into projection as I am not familiar with the concept (just googled it). As for therapy I can`t really afford it right now but I found videos on youtube regarding emotional literacy. I gues I`ll start from there. Prayer definitely helps. :)
Thanks for taking your time to write!
 
It's not about what is given but more about what WE DO with what is given no matter what it is

Another thing to consider is that it might be that the universe doesn't give us that which we can't handle so every challenge, discomfort, agitation, stress etc can be seen as a gift of power so we could become stronger and knowledgeable through experience. So keep on going. Life doesn't get easier. We become better.

This is the mindset of the Adept, as Ra calls it.

It is how we choose to react to a situation or to the behaviours of certain people (such as petty tyrants) and if we are going to choose to learn from it, or let it destroy us.

Each of these occasions we should see them as opportunities as to how we can be of service to others, or in the case of facing STS how we can become more aware of their methods in order to gain knowledge, and therefore protection.

In your case @Darius1234 Do you think you could contemplate if this could be a way of approaching your situation ?
 
This is the mindset of the Adept, as Ra calls it.

It is how we choose to react to a situation or to the behaviours of certain people (such as petty tyrants) and if we are going to choose to learn from it, or let it destroy us.

Each of these occasions we should see them as opportunities as to how we can be of service to others, or in the case of facing STS how we can become more aware of their methods in order to gain knowledge, and therefore protection.

In your case @Darius1234 Do you think you could contemplate if this could be a way of approaching your situation ?
Yes, and in the last book that I read, Life Between Lives, one of the lessons that souls programmed was the ability to try not to react violently in the face of an extremely provocative situation.

The adept, as you say, tries to "see" each situation and learn from it.
 
Thanks for sharing, Darius. It sounds quite intense.

I`ll definitely look into projection as I am not familiar with the concept (just googled it). As for therapy I can`t really afford it right now but I found videos on youtube regarding emotional literacy. I gues I`ll start from there. Prayer definitely helps. :)
Thanks for taking your time to write!

It's a good sign that you're considering other possibilities. Not to discount any of your experiences, far from it, but most psychic experiences are connected to deep unconscious aspects of ourselves. For example, high sensitivity associated with unresolved wounds can become a distraction from the core issues we need to work on, and we perpetuate unnecessary suffering.

Working on the basics is always advisable: Small steps in areas of our lives over which we have control.

You mentioned spiritual attachments, and unresolved issues or wounds are open doors to them, so better work on the aspect that attracted them in the first place. And you would be surprised how mundane some of these aspects can be, like bad mental habits. So we could go for a spirit release therapy, but if we do not realize what attracted the attachment and work on it, it will come back.

You mentioned Gurdjieff, he would advise us to start with self-observation or self-remembrance, to be aware of our automatic thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, and then to be proactive as soon as we develop the necessary will to change - little by little. Not easy at all! Just remember that you are not alone in this journey and that we have many tools at our disposal to make life's suffering not only bearable but worthwhile.

We have the Network, of course, but I think all of us here see therapy as a great tool for healing and growth, we need the help of those who have enough knowledge and experience in particular areas. I have done it over the years and definitely recommend it ;-).

I don't want to overstep, and please let me know if I do, as this is a delicate matter, but you mentioned that your parents beat and humiliated you, so maybe that would be a good place to start?

How does this abuse affect you now? How it has conditioned your perception of yourself, and the world (others)? Do you perceive a certain hostility coming from the outside? Is it real or just a conditioned perception? Just some loose ideas.

As we learn more about ourselves and the reality around us, there will always be more difficult challenges, call it "friction" or "resistance" from the so-called General Law, but being aware of this aspect does not mean that the world is a hostile place, it's just life.

Yes, our past experiences can condition us to perceive the world in a certain way, but as we continue on our journey we realize that even the hardest lessons were blessings, and little by little the defensive armor we've created since childhood will fall apart and let us understand and feel the love of life, of the Universe.

Always remember that you can safely share with us, and we reply to them because we care.

Hope my 2 cents help.

Take care and keep us posted.
 
to be honest I`m getting to the point than I can`t really dismiss my whole life experience and pretend that this is not happening.
-flick-, I just wanted to escape home and have a normal life but apparently not in the cards! lol
I`m determined to do my best and not give in. I don`t feel afraid. I`ve been living with death at my door for all of my life. I mean at least life got "interesting" and not just painful. It`s like with every shitty thing that keeps being thrown my way I just keep saying: "-flick- it then, let`s dance!"
The anger that has been simmering all of my life, it`s really starting to turn into a blaze but here lies my dilemma: is it good or bad?
I think it's neither good or bad but you would need to find ways to control it. Perhaps it would be helpful to look into emotion regulation self-help books. Here's one for example, I haven't read it but it looks promising from a first glance (you can check the preview and see if it's something for you). The books iamthatis suggested are also good starters. I'm very glad to hear your health is improving and once you can afford therapy, like Yas I was also thinking of trauma therapy (such as EMDR).

When it comes to strange experiences, they can be tricky, because we can't always be sure what they are, so being more grounded and focusing on your health as you're doing and now your mental health could be the best approach. What you could do however is consider salting your studio (see here, with the intent mentioned here) and listen to the Prayer of the Soul before sleep. The strange dreams you had could simply be you processing what happened to you on different levels. For example:

- sleep paralysis while being visited by an entity that felt evil, claiming to be my other father (meaning not God) came into my studio and opened my wardrobe then I woke up.
Violation of your boundaries and space.
- sleep paralysis while my abusive family came in and they were mocking me, managed to break free from paralysis and as they were running out I released a kind of energy shout and vaporized them.
Another one about stepping over boundaries, but here you fought back.
- this is my "favorite": walking and stumbling upon 3 nigerians while they were pulling a soul out of a white fat lady, one of them looked ashamed, then I fell into a cage with 5 lions (2 white and 3 looking ethereal with patches of black flame), grew claws and fought them off.
Yeah.... and to top it off after this kind of dreams I wake up feeling like I`ve been running a marathon.
Another one where you fight back.

So, it may not necessarily be about entities, it could be you processing traumas. Just a possibility. It's also common for people who've gone through trauma to have nightmares or dreams with elements of the abuse or abusers.

Regarding the strange experiences with people, I second Yas's thoughts on possible projection. I think that if a person has gone through something painful for many years, their worldview can get distorted a little bit and the world can feel threatening. I don't know if this is the case with you too, but if it is, I think that that will get better as you continue to improve your health and wellbeing. I can understand if it's a little overwhelming to have so many suggestions coming your way, so just take it a step at a time. Hope this helps!
 
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So we could go for a spirit release therapy, but if we do not realize what attracted the attachment and work on it, it will come back.
Yeah, I think so too. As Don Juan said:

After a moment's pause long enough for me to recover, I asked don Juan, "But why is it that the sorcerers of ancient Mexico and all sorcerers today, although they see the predators, don't do anything about it?"

"There's nothing that you and I can do about it," don Juan said in a grave, sad voice. "All we can do is discipline ourselves to the point where they will not touch us.

The more we work on ourselves in a disciplined way (diet, health, exercise, reading, networking, self-remembering, etc), the less we can be influenced or 'touched' by 'predators' or attachments.
 
Hi Darius1234,

I think you've received some great feedback so far, this caught my attention:

To be honest I`m getting to the point than I can`t really dismiss my whole life experience and pretend that this is not happening.
-flick-, I just wanted to escape home and have a normal life but apparently not in the cards! lol
I`m determined to do my best and not give in. I don`t feel afraid. I`ve been living with death at my door for all of my life. I mean at least life got "interesting" and not just painful. It`s like with every shitty thing that keeps being thrown my way I just keep saying: "-flick- it then, let`s dance!"
The anger that has been simmering all of my life, it`s really starting to turn into a blaze but here lies my dilemma: is it good or bad?

I think that having a normal life is not something that is in the cards for anyone per se, I don't think anyone can define what a normal life would look like. I think our living conditions can determine our experience to a large degree, but how we respond to that experience is what determines the life we will lead. And it's a daily choice, to either become the default outcome of our experiences or not.

The anger, I think some of the books you have been recommended could help you understand it within yourself, anger isn't either good or bad, it's what we do with that anger. Anger could be justified, and the correct emotion to have in certain situations, angrily responding to life is the adequate response, but it can also make us paranoid, aggressive and hurtful, it's what we do with that anger.

Most importantly, this anger can change our perception of reality, it can teach us to see threats where there are none, and act angrily against them.. EVEN if we do not externalize that reaction, and I think this is key, because exploring where that anger comes from, is the first step, then finding healthy ways to release it is the second.

And that can be rather difficult, specially if you have lived with it your entire life, so beware of the fact that you may have become emotionally attached to that anger to the point where it has become part of your identity, so work it slowly and with care and optimally with someone else's help, here if you think we could aid this process.

I think that will help you navigate some of what may be in the process of being moved within you as you become familiar with certain concepts. The way I always like to start, whenever thinking about dreams, is that they pertain the dreamer, and some of these elements, as it was mentioned above, may be parts of your psyche interacting with other parts of your psyche, or depicting situations in your life that need your attention, and if your psyche is using such dramatic imagery, then it's something that really needs attention.

So, I would invite you to explore your anger, and where it comes from... and then decide what to do with it, and do it little by little, it sounds like some of this anger took a lifetime to build, it may be a while before it's properly worked through.

My two cents.
 
Thanks for sharing, Darius. It sounds quite intense.



It's a good sign that you're considering other possibilities. Not to discount any of your experiences, far from it, but most psychic experiences are connected to deep unconscious aspects of ourselves. For example, high sensitivity associated with unresolved wounds can become a distraction from the core issues we need to work on, and we perpetuate unnecessary suffering.

Working on the basics is always advisable: Small steps in areas of our lives over which we have control.

You mentioned spiritual attachments, and unresolved issues or wounds are open doors to them, so better work on the aspect that attracted them in the first place. And you would be surprised how mundane some of these aspects can be, like bad mental habits. So we could go for a spirit release therapy, but if we do not realize what attracted the attachment and work on it, it will come back.

You mentioned Gurdjieff, he would advise us to start with self-observation or self-remembrance, to be aware of our automatic thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, and then to be proactive as soon as we develop the necessary will to change - little by little. Not easy at all! Just remember that you are not alone in this journey and that we have many tools at our disposal to make life's suffering not only bearable but worthwhile.

We have the Network, of course, but I think all of us here see therapy as a great tool for healing and growth, we need the help of those who have enough knowledge and experience in particular areas. I have done it over the years and definitely recommend it ;-).

I don't want to overstep, and please let me know if I do, as this is a delicate matter, but you mentioned that your parents beat and humiliated you, so maybe that would be a good place to start?

How does this abuse affect you now? How it has conditioned your perception of yourself, and the world (others)? Do you perceive a certain hostility coming from the outside? Is it real or just a conditioned perception? Just some loose ideas.

As we learn more about ourselves and the reality around us, there will always be more difficult challenges, call it "friction" or "resistance" from the so-called General Law, but being aware of this aspect does not mean that the world is a hostile place, it's just life.

Yes, our past experiences can condition us to perceive the world in a certain way, but as we continue on our journey we realize that even the hardest lessons were blessings, and little by little the defensive armor we've created since childhood will fall apart and let us understand and feel the love of life, of the Universe.

Always remember that you can safely share with us, and we reply to them because we care.

Hope my 2 cents help.

Take care and keep us posted.
Thank you for taking your time to respond!
Regarding myself after childhood abuse: I tended to be quite naïve as a teen and young adult (people pleaser and making excuses for bad behavior of my family and friends) then after I started getting sick (recurring prolactinomas) I was forced to review in an objective way the culture that I was born into and stop making excuses for people.
Basically in Romania violence and manipulation are considered normal, people treat each other like objects to be used and according to the latest study on childhood abuse (done in 2017) 91 percent of parents beat their children. Our cultures archetype that people should strive for is being "smecher", which literally means deceitful, sly, charlatan, basically a psychopath.
After putting all of those pieces together and putting in place some boundaries the prolactinomas stopped reoccurring but that also left me very lonely cause suddenly my values (that I chose for myself) were opposite of the culture that I was born into.
Life in Romania is still clan based (big extended families) and although my immediate family treated me horribly I was held in high regard by my kin, especially since I am the only one that managed to get into college (image is very important in our culture and I bolstered the image of my family).
That changed very fast as soon I told my fiancée that I will marry her only if she swear on God to not hit and emotionally manipulate our future kids.
I went from pillar of the community to outcast, I had to leave everything behind cause things escalated to the point that they were threatening to kill me. And since then just survival and bad luck after bad luck although, for the most part, I put my best foot forward.
It was what it was and to answer your question: I think the world becomes hostile as soon as you start setting your own values.
At first I thought because people are close minded. Now I see that there is another layer to it.
Regarding my emotional state: I`m starting to become angry at the way things are.
 
Hi Darius,

Am I feeding STS people with it and should I just zen it out or something like that? lol
Also, did any of you guys went through something similar regarding harassments by random people?
FWIW, If you are feeling mentally, emotionally, and physically drained due to events triggering your anger, then I would say yes, 4D STS is feeding through you, which is pretty much the case for almost everyone in our mutual 3D STS realm with perhaps a few rare and unknown individuals who very close to learning nearly all the essentials of the universal "karmic and simple understanding" that the C's have talked about, but again to various degrees for the rest of the roughly 50 percent of world population of potentially "individuated" souls on Earth, another complicated topic on its own that has its own huge thread. So how to change yourself, your 3D STS Being's "vibrational frequency" also mentioned as "FRV" or "emotional path" by the C's, so that your "Predator Mind" doesn't sync with the 'hydperdimensional Predator Mind' and "tube" over your life force as "food" to them? There is no simple solution or quick answer, to say the least, and it is a Life (most probably many Lives) long process consisting of a lot of ups and downs, hard work, research, and intentional suffering via knowledge and awareness of the whys and hows your "machine" IS the way it is in this "school", and how you can make the choice to intentionally suffer (not mechanically suffer). And to choose to heed the call to "soul quest" through your current 3D STS Being/vehicle towards becoming a potential 4D STO Candidate is really up to you. All these ideas, concepts, questions, answers, and hinted answers are covered in more detail by Laura in her Wave Series found here for free:


But I would personally recommend rereading the whole series over at least two times to really grok it, that is if you haven't already, or again if you have a long time ago, and perhaps on the second or third reading, or whatever you choose, purchase the Kindle version if you are on a budget since I have found it to be much easier for note taking and quickly looking up footnotes and related searches and articles on web, or the book series if you want a hard copy for emergencies in times of no electricity, which may be not too far in the "future". Suggestions for other readings regarding the "Work" by Gurdjieff, and others, or the "Way of the Warrior" by Carlos Castaneda, and some of the other essential aforementioned psychological books mentioned by others in this thread are also quoted in their own context in the Wave series.

As for your question, yes, I have gone through harassment in the past by apparently random people, and most probably many on the forum have also experienced something similar when in the initial process waking up or moving to step through a threshold of awareness, but "once one is aware, all conforms to that awareness" in general, to quote the C's, and if awareness is the key to mentally blocking some type of "psychic attacks" and "attacks" in general due awareness being gained through the step by step application of Knowledge, then eventually other type of "attacks"/lessons/"steps" are in store in the process until you learn those to and keep "rising" in awareness; however, if you haven't yet learned the essential pattern of the "past" attacks in various situational "dramas", then you haven't really learned those lessons yet and the "attacks" will continue unexpectedly until you "know the modes of same" and eventually give the "attack"/lesson its "just due", the latter "just due" being another complicated concept explained by Laura in the Wave Series. Yeah, not so "simple" these lessons are they? lol

But don't lose heart, and strive to learn to stay vigilant, but calm and "sober" at the same time, and remember to "expect the unexpected" and have faith in yourself that you will one day learn to stop being "food" for "it."

Yes I know this is all sounding like a very tall order, and especially when you are caught off guard from moment to moment and are emotionally in the "heat" of it all, and it is going to take time to learn to be vigilance in manner where you are both alert, calm, and relaxed at the same time to have your "shields" up to the "attacks"; however, as a note, if you observe that you are draining yourself due to being always hypervigilant instead of just vigilant, then this likely due to past trauma. And for the trauma, you have already been given some suggestions to follow up on.

Hope this post may be of some assistance to you. Good luck and take care.
 
Hi, thank you Darius for sharing this. And thank you all for responding.

I have like many others in this forum experience with this. May be my solutions can be of help?
This topic is very actual because I had, this night, one of this nights with some sort of attack. After I sort it out, found out it was an attack, I stood up, used my anger (intrution), made some exercises, rubbed my skin etc., and declared loud out in the room, This is my space, get out, you are not allowed to be here etc. That worked.

I would also like to tell about another experience I had some years ago against another type of intrution, and anothe way of getting rid of the entity. I woke up with an entity (heavyness) lying over my root chackra. The head was sucking energy. I took my left hand under its cheek, it had sparse hair, stiff hairs, about 3 cm long and some kind of disgusting skin. Then I started to send love from both my hearth and through my hand. It withdrew it self within the blink of a second.
I did this because I have heard that they do not like love. To be honest, I have been so bothered with attacks all my life that I do not get so very afraid anymore. Its all about awareness, having the appropriate tool, and I do seldome go into paralysis anymore.

I want to thank everybody for sharing. With the help of you, I've got tools and courage to deal with this kind of phenomena.

I have experienced lately that I now have to burn sage more than before in the evenings. It is like there more of this now than before? is it just me or? Anyone?
 
Regarding my emotional state: I`m starting to become angry at the way things are.
FWIW, becoming angery at the way things are ounds like "righteous anger", which is a positive emotion and a form of psychic protection as well in the right context. If you choose to utilize this emotion to "strive always to rise", as the C's suggested, and Work to change yourself within, even the better. In relation of emotions being used "positively" or "negatively", the old serenity prayer comes to mind on what one can change and what one cannot in our mutual Universal School:

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference, living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time; taking this world as it is and not as I would have it; trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to Your will; so that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with You forever in the next. Amen. " − Reinhold Niebuhr

If the "Prime Creator manifest IN" us, and "7th density interacts with divisions through" us, then Niebuhr's reference to "God" and "Your will" in the above quote becomes 'perfect', or so I think, and feel.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts Darius.
 
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