Approaching Infinity said:
Yep, that's a really good one. Thanks for finding it and sharing, Data! Funny how it all comes down to external considering, and non-internal considering. It's also pretty astounding that we can read words like this and not 'get it'. Usually, it has to be directly pointed out to a person that they're talking for themselves. They need a network. But I think something we can all do - and all should do - is make an exercise of it. That means reading it closely, then making a promise to ourselves to observe how we talk to others, and how we listen. And that means remembering.
Yes, thanks Data. I must say that I read it yesterday but, it was not that clear to me specially with the “speaking for others”, did not ask either, examples helps, it did not match the “listening for oneself in order to learn”, because “speaking for others” seemed to me to “encapsulate” my ideas/needs, of others.
When I write, “when one/me” ...that expression is what I mean by encapsulating, “me” being the one who is talking, not “one” as a general form as if everyone does it. Much probably I understand from a different meaning from the translation, or different expressions betwee English and Spanish, I suppose.
Anyways, yes is a good exercise of self-remembering, along with this case, I can add the “tone/sound” of the voice, this week I was noted by a coworker that I answered in a rude manner to a client, it was not what I said, it was the tone of my voice, I tend to get confused with some clients, and being confused lead me to answer/talk in a different tone of voice. Coworker told me that the client feel offended. In which I did not notice while doing it, but afterwards, the ideal should be to check myself before I continue the dialogue. I had been observing how others do, to be able to learn how to answer better upon little shocks.
I had noticed since a year back, that when I am with people, like family/friends in which I had not seen them much, I tend to talk a lot, a lot. After noticing I have been restricting myself to stop talking, I suppose is because, I do not spend the whatever percentage of speaking words I –seem- to need to talk. Lack of interaction to/with other people, I suppose.
Sometimes, when I allow others to speak, express themselves, and, I am restricting what I want to say, leaves me with a ... -do not know how to describe such- sensation, as if something was not fullfilled?
I think I had been doing something that I used to think it was for the better of the other person, but now that I thinking about it, it was just satisfying a posteriori myself. I tend to pay attention to others (speaking form) and remember to do it everytime I remember, because I think/thought that, is what I wanted to be listen too, and shouldn't be that way, I think I should listen to others just because and, not because I assume others may be listening to me next time. As gaining something.
Thanks others that also contributed to this thread. :)
