Lists-

[Ninas]

Hello all,

I feel that I'm drowning in a never-ending to do list.

Lists of all kinds-

There's the list of how to raise your children and make them happy.

The list of taking care of the household.

The list of taking care of the Parents.

Not to mention the Career List and the list that I don't really want to think about: The How to prepare when SHTF List.

The Spiritual List.

The Health List.

The Friend List and Family List.

For goodness sake, I feel like I'm drowning in a sea of Lists and I can't keep up with any of them!

My life has turned into a never-ending List.

Anyone experience something similar?

 

[Nico]

Hellos ninas, could you let go of the addiction to listing ?

I feel that it's just a program that is running through the mind. Usually wanting to make list is based on the feeling that we can't be able to succeed and have time to do all the thing we want (or other make up reasons that the mind create to justify whatever feeling perceive as a lack of something).

I do not make list but I make wishes, practically inconsciously, about everything I want to change or control in my life : master my body, master the mind, create money, decrease my cholesterol, stop eating "too much" carbohydrates, understand the self-remembering and other esoteric principle... And it built a contraction that finish in blocking my body mind and sensations.

So when I'm at the edge of being overwhelmed I sit and I ask the within to tell me the root of the problem and to let go of it (you can look at the Sedona Method recommended by Nora Gedgaudas in her book Primal Body Primal Mind, which help to create an exploratory momentum by just asking yourself some simple questions like the first I tell you in this post :)).

Maybe you can ask you what is the root feeling of that never ending storming list and decide to let go the desire... Sometimes it's just that simple.

Good Luck :)

 

[T.C.]

Hi ninas

How long have you been feeling like this? Has the 'pressure' of your lists been something you've struggled with for a while or has something happened recently to change your attitude towards them?

 

[Keit]

My life has turned into a never-ending List.

Anyone experience something similar?

Yeah, I can definitely related to that. I have a tendency of making various lists because they relax me and give me a feeling (and often an illusion) of control. They also help with optimizing time, and since there are so many different things to do during the day, often I find myself making a week long list (up to assigning time to all the tasks!) and then checking them out each day, or feeling frustrated if I wasn't able the do everything.

The problem is, that I find myself being frustrated a lot, since life is (thankfully ;) ) largely dynamic and often unpredictable. And so there are many days when all my plans fly out the window! At the beginning I tried to deal with it by making new lists and just delaying their execution to a later time. But this didn't work either, because there are always new things that need to be done.

And so after some thinking I've decided that it is best to treat lists as guidelines. Basically to approach them as something that can act as a reminder and a good tool for time management, but not be frustrated if not all the points were checked out. Who knows, maybe they shouldn't have! And that's another thing I've noticed, that most of the "life changing" or "crossroads related" events in my life were initiated by events that weren't preplanned. After all, if it was predicted, it wouldn't be really life changing!

So there is definitely room for being spontaneous and following gut feelings. Not to mention various external and inner influences, like biorhythms, needing time and space to process something, etc. And as a side note, I read a research not long ago that talked about going on a holiday, and how having a preplanned list of all the things that has to be seen or done significantly diminishes the enjoyment of the trip.

The bottom line is, we all have our own various lists and responsibilities. Perhaps the best way to approach them is to decide what is more important - to assign priorities. And each day try to do our best with what we need to do, while leaving room for unpredictability. And sometimes also have days when all the lists are flying out the window. :)

 

[casper]

I understand completely what you mean, I was one of those who imagined that I NEED to do all on the list, on my luck (or bad luck,), my heart it "said" - stop , and now I have stents.

The point of the story, what you not get to do today, do tomorrow, nothing is more valuable than health, and physical and mental. :)

 

[Voyageur]

Hello all,

I feel that I'm drowning in a never-ending to do list.
[..]

Fwiw, I've a never ending list of things to Do (as many do), for instance around the house and property, even sitting here typing I should be DOing some things on the list, yet kind of also see the list as not having a start nor an end; it's a circular list of things, and sometimes things need to be inserted between things that one just picks away at it.

There are a couple of article on "lists" featured on SOTT if interested:

http://www.sott.net/article/258987-Amazing-scientific-facts-about-lists
http://www.sott.net/article/177253-10-Reasons-Why-We-Love-Making-Lists

 

[dreamer]

Umberto Eco wrote a book about lists. So you can add to your list - read "The Infinity of Lists" :)

 

[theos]

If you feel like you're drowning have you ever considered going for a while without making a list and seeing how you feel? Try it as an experiment. If you don't use a list and still get the things done that need to be done maybe you'll find that the lists are more of a stress-inducing hinderance rather than a help to you. If you find that you're not accomplishing tasks you could go back to the lists but refine how you use them, how often you consult them and change the way you think about them. Really, the lists are neutral pieces of paper. Your feelings about them seem to be the problem. Perhaps it's not the lists themselves, maybe you're just overwhelmed with life in general and you're projecting onto the lists?

Just my 2 cents.

 

[Yupo]

I make to do lists. I tend to procrastinate some important stuff, so the lists can be made in a bit of a panic such as at a tax or other paperwork deadline. I consider myself responsible, just unusually relaxed in my approach to most things. Also my desk is a bit messy. Sometimes I clean it up and find old lists. I look them over, remembering the day I wrote them and how important it all seemed. Most of the stuff never got done or got done later (fueling the car, buying whatever, mending the jacket). Jacket still not mended 2 years later. It is still in the mending basket. I wear it anyway, just put it back in there instead of in the closet. Anyway, finding lists undone reminds me that things manage to be OK anyway.

In my work, a lot of the medical problems I see have to do with overuse, doing too much.
I hear this stuff all the time:
Got to be the weekend athlete...
Got to have the perfect house, kids...
Got to have the best lawn in town...
Got to be there for everyone at church...

I try to get people to realize that if they don't cut the grass tonight, it will still be there tomorrow or the next day. If they don't usher at church, someone else will do it.

 

[luc]

I make to do lists. I tend to procrastinate some important stuff, so the lists can be made in a bit of a panic such as at a tax or other paperwork deadline. I consider myself responsible, just unusually relaxed in my approach to most things. Also my desk is a bit messy. Sometimes I clean it up and find old lists. I look them over, remembering the day I wrote them and how important it all seemed. Most of the stuff never got done or got done later (fueling the car, buying whatever, mending the jacket). Jacket still not mended 2 years later. It is still in the mending basket. I wear it anyway, just put it back in there instead of in the closet. Anyway, finding lists undone reminds me that things manage to be OK anyway.

In my work, a lot of the medical problems I see have to do with overuse, doing too much.
I hear this stuff all the time:
Got to be the weekend athlete...
Got to have the perfect house, kids...
Got to have the best lawn in town...
Got to be there for everyone at church...

I try to get people to realize that if they don't cut the grass tonight, it will still be there tomorrow or the next day. If they don't usher at church, someone else will do it.

Thanks Yupo, that was very insightful and funny! :)

I can relate to what you wrote. These days, I only make very basic to-do-lists, usually for job-related things, with the sole purpose that I don't forget something important. Nothing could be more stressful than the sudden realization "oh gosh, there's this deadline tomorrow, I totally forgot!"

I think the goal of making to-do-lists should be to reduce stress, not increase it. So I usually don't bother making to-do lists anymore, except, as I said, for a very specific purpose: namely things that are both very important AND that I'm likely to forget.

As a time management tool, I think to-do lists are rather worthless, at least for me. In my experience, it's just not how our minds work, and maybe it's just not how the universe works - the world is dynamic and organic, it doesn't follow a linear script, osit. So I find it much more useful to "go with the flow", while simultanously pushing myself to do something useful.

For example, sometimes I don't have the energy for a certain task, or I'm not in the right mindset, so forcing myself to do it anyway just because it's on some list would be stupid - I might get it done much better and faster on another day, where my mind is more open to that specific task. Or, sometimes something else gets in the way, and I need to shift gears quickly - no point beating myself up over some item on a list that can wait.

There are basically three parameters: available time, available energy, and mindset/which "little I" is dominant. Many time management techniques - including to-do-lists - just don't take into account the complexity of our mind, so they either fail or increase our stress level when they should make us more effecient and help us being more at ease.

So yes, I don't bother with lists anymore. I will do what I do when I will do it. In the meantime, there are plenty of other things to do :)

 

[obyvatel]

[quote author=Odyssey]
Really, the lists are neutral pieces of paper. Your feelings about them seem to be the problem. Perhaps it's not the lists themselves, maybe you're just overwhelmed with life in general and you're projecting onto the lists?
[/quote]

My thoughts are on similar lines. Lists are supposed to help keep focus on important things. If too many things are considered to be important and there is not enough time and energy to do them all, then that would be overwhelming.

In my experience, when life gets overwhelming due to sheer variety (and not crisis), then it is a signal to step back and reassess. Maybe you are taking on too much? Maybe there are areas where the responsibilities need to be shared? Maybe there are some things on the list that can be dropped? Or something else entirely - like maybe you are beginning to adjust to normal life responsibilities, since all the items that you mentioned are components of adult life that require attention? If you choose to share specifics, then you can get more specific feedback.

 

[Yupo]

For example, sometimes I don't have the energy for a certain task, or I'm not in the right mindset, so forcing myself to do it anyway just because it's on some list would be stupid - I might get it done much better and faster on another day, where my mind is more open to that specific task. Or, sometimes something else gets in the way, and I need to shift gears quickly - no point beating myself up over some item on a list that can wait.

Amen! What makes some days so fluid and productive, I cannot say. It is like a pleasant current flowing when it (productivity) comes.

 

[Keit]

For example, sometimes I don't have the energy for a certain task, or I'm not in the right mindset, so forcing myself to do it anyway just because it's on some list would be stupid - I might get it done much better and faster on another day, where my mind is more open to that specific task. Or, sometimes something else gets in the way, and I need to shift gears quickly - no point beating myself up over some item on a list that can wait.

Amen! What makes some days so fluid and productive, I cannot say. It is like a pleasant current flowing when it (productivity) comes.

This has been my experience as well. Some days are super productive, some days better to just weather out.

There is also a Jewish parable my mother told me once when I complained to her that I don't have enough time and feel overwhelmed, because there is so much to do. According to her I often took upon myself tasks and responsibilities that made my life more difficult than necessary. Well, sometimes it IS necessary and beneficial to make one's life a bit more challenging. But in this particular situation she was right, even if I didn't agree with her at the time. ;)

In any case, here it is. Don't know if it will be helpful, but perhaps all those lists are like farm animals in the parable. :)

A poor man lived with his wife and six children in a very small one-room house. They were always getting in each other's way and there was so little space they could hardly breathe!

Finally the man could stand it no more. He talked to his wife and asked her what to do. "Go see the rabbi," she told him, and after arguing a while, he went.

The rabbi greeted him and said, "I see something is troubling you. Whatever it is, you can tell me."

And so the poor man told the rabbi how miserable things were at home with him, his wife, and the six children all eating and living and sleeping in one room. The poor man told the rabbi, "We're even starting to yell and fight with each other. Life couldn't be worse."

The rabbi thought very deeply about the poor man's problem. Then he said, "Do exactly as I tell you and things will get better. Do you promise?"

"I promise," the poor man said.

The rabbi then asked the poor man a strange question. "Do you own any animals?"

"Yes," he said. "I have one cow, one goat, and some chickens."

"Good," the rabbi said. "When you get home, take all the animals into your house to live with you."

The poor man was astonished to hear this advice from the rabbi, but he had promised to do exactly what the rabbi said. So he went home and took all the farm animals into the tiny one-room house.

The next day the poor man ran back to see the rabbi. "What have you done to me, Rabbi?" he cried. "It's awful. I did what you told me and the animals are all over the house! Rabbi, help me!"

The rabbi listened and said calmly, "Now go home and take the chickens back outside."

The poor man did as the rabbi said, but hurried back again the next day. "The chickens are gone, but Rabbi, the goat!" he moaned. "The goat is smashing up all the furniture and eating everything in sight!"
The good rabbi said, "Go home and remove the goat and may God bless you."

So the poor man went home and took the goat outside. But he ran back again to see the rabbi, crying and wailing. "What a nightmare you have brought to my house, Rabbi! With the cow it's like living in a stable! Can human beings live with an animal like this?"

The rabbi said sweetly, "My friend, you are right. May God bless you. Go home now and take the cow out of your house." And the poor man went quickly home and took the cow out of the house.

The next day he came running back to the rabbi again. "O Rabbi," he said with a big smile on his face, "we have such a good life now. The animals are all out of the house. The house is so quiet and we've got room to spare! What a joy!"

 

[3DStudent]

I have the same problem. I've been trying to reduce my lists, in the form of physical and digital post-it notes, for a few weeks now. I made a thread about dating them and tossing them out here. I think this comes down to a simple arithmetic operation. Don't add anything, only subtract. Sounds simple, but again I'm still chipping away. :P

 

[KJN]

In some respects, lists are just a means to an end...except they never end. We make them to assure ourselves that someone is in charge and knows what happens and when. Having made the list means that person is me. The list has power. I am the list.

While this is a great organizational tool, or so we think, it is also a statement that, without the list (the crutch), we will never live up to our responsibilities and never accomplish what it is we think we need to do. SO...this is an issue of self-trust.

Being a "lister" most of my life, the system has kept me on track, a reference point on which I could depend. However, the past few months I have been winging it without the list addiction and I find I more-or-less get done the things that stand out as important, the things I want to do, the necessities to keep my boat afloat and meet obligations. I find I am more present and flexible and this is a good thing.

The Result: In practicing being "listless," I am much more living in the moment and allowing for spontaneity to be a part of my day. It may not work for everything nor everyone, but it is maybe something to try. We are capable of going beyond our perception of limitations by pushing those boundaries, doing what is important and accommodating life as it naturally manifests. FWIW