MAAT Project Symbolism

[SMM]

I've been reading around the forum, all the while having a topic brewing at the fingertips...

A brief introduction:
Sunday night [night before Boston bombings] I dreamt I had boats for shoes & was sailing on concrete, everywhere and anywhere. There was a phone call from a "Jon" which I declined & didn't answer. 'Sailing' into a shop, a woman was trying to persuade me to buy gold earrings/jewellery & I refused.

Monday evening a phone call from my place of study, asking if I wanted to be involved in this program as one of the select few who had been chosen. The lady on the other side of the phone doesn't explain it very well & I was cooking so she asked me to meet with her & others Wednesday afternoon.

Wednesday afternoon: the lady shows up late, the room we met in had a strange drone sound coming from the far right corner & the objective of the program isn't very clear. It was called the MAAT Project [more able and talented], & consisted of creating something that fitted their criteria for prizes & benefits.

I later decline to partaking - the whole thing was bizarre if you ask me.
Then at some later point in the day, I realised a strange thing: Maat [or Ma'at] is the Egyptian concept/Goddess of Truth, Balance & Order. Her name literally meaning "truth" in Egypt
Around the same time I was reading the last few chapters of The Wave vol. 3, & "logos", "the word" or "breath" was sort of fresh in my mind. I do a search around for Ma'at online, here are a few of the finds:

From http://www.touregypt.net/godsofegypt/maat2.htm:

Her name, literally, meant 'truth' in Egyptian. She was truth, order, balance and justice personified. She was harmony, she was what was right, she was what things should be. It was thought that if Ma'at didn't exist, the universe would become chaos, once again!

Reminds me of Nature, as portrayed in Stripped to the Bone.

Because of Ma'at, the Egyptians knew that the universe, that everything in the universe, worked on a pattern, just as, later on, the Greeks called the underlying order of the universe logos (meaning, order, pattern).
"In the beginning was the logos*, and the logos* was with God and the logos* was God." - John 1:1

* Logos was the 'Word', another name for Jesus.
Egypt, then, was seen to be nothing without Ma'at.

There's quite a bit looking around [all quotes from same URL] but I'll just finish with these:

"Ma'at did not exist until Ra rose from the waters of Nun (various gods and goddesses of Chaos)."

"The ruler who forcibly emphasizes his adherence to Maat on his monuments in Akhenaten the very king whom later pharaohs considered to have deviated immensely from her laws."

What do you guys think? There were quite a few ways I think one could go along stringing... or sailing.
Thanks for reading :)

 

[Forrestdeva]

From my understanding of esoteric terms, gold is symbolic of truth. The fact you declined to buy the earings/jewelry could have two meanings: 1. you do not "buy" into what is presented to you (by the Lady) as truth, and/or you are not willing to adorn yourself with things material i.e. things that glitter, for your "truth" is that which lies inward, real gold/light/truth.
The phone call from "Jon" reminds me of john the Baptist, i.e. talking heads, which you obviously would not listen too, i.e. the MSM.
The dream being the night before the Boston event and the sail boat shoes makes me think of the Boston tea party, they threw overboard the tea in protest of taxes...and the sail boats being your shoes would perhaps be that you can sail through all the disinformation with ease and not be "taxed" on any level,physical, mental, spiritual and that you can perceive the "truth".
Wondering if the "Lady and Jon" could be symbolic of the left and right hemispheres of your brain/masculine and feminine, and how you are responding more with one than the other, remember balance is key.
Interesting dream, my friend

 

[ajseph 21]

The shoes being boats could represent drifting through life and "going with the flow" and according to jung in dreams a woman can represent the anima (if you're a man) or the shadow (if you're a woman). Gold jewellery could also be something false you're refusing to take part in because the truth can't be bought. Just my opinion though.

 

[SMM]

Thank you both for these - what I can add is since that Monday, I seem to have had a significant "change in function". It has been a week of realisations or insight into deep ingrained patterns & how they've impacted past decisions which brings actions & intent up so close I'd be 15 degrees of stupid in following old reactions...
& also how much people are willing to go for comfort/conforming/instant gratification.

The shoes being boats could represent drifting through life and "going with the flow" and according to jung in dreams a woman can represent the anima (if you're a man) or the shadow (if you're a woman). Gold jewellery could also be something false you're refusing to take part in because the truth can't be bought. Just my opinion though.

Going with the flow sounds about right d:
Interesting you mention "the shadow" as a woman.. looking through text on narcissism, I came to see family dynamics differently & I think I'm in the process of liberating a shadow side from the mirror. I'd have thoughts when looking in the mirror before of what I can describe in the analogy of the left brain trying to dominate the right brain.
Then there's the automatic thoughts/reactions I'd have around men.

I think the anima/shadow [right brain] is trying to sell the left brain "gold" - that is lure him in [feminine vampire, could be the gold jewellery]. Before the left brain wasn't aware & would fall into the trap continuously, & go back with the delusion that it would one day overcome, that is, "dominate". Any thoughts?
Looking into a physical mirror used to frighten me, as it felt as if I was being pulled in..

From my understanding of esoteric terms, gold is symbolic of truth. The fact you declined to buy the earings/jewelry could have two meanings: 1. you do not "buy" into what is presented to you (by the Lady) as truth, and/or you are not willing to adorn yourself with things material i.e. things that glitter, for your "truth" is that which lies inward, real gold/light/truth.
The phone call from "Jon" reminds me of john the Baptist, i.e. talking heads, which you obviously would not listen too, i.e. the MSM.
The dream being the night before the Boston event and the sail boat shoes makes me think of the Boston tea party, they threw overboard the tea in protest of taxes...and the sail boats being your shoes would perhaps be that you can sail through all the disinformation with ease and not be "taxed" on any level,physical, mental, spiritual and that you can perceive the "truth".
Wondering if the "Lady and Jon" could be symbolic of the left and right hemispheres of your brain/masculine and feminine, and how you are responding more with one than the other, remember balance is key.
Interesting dream, my friend

There are so many a "Jons", I didn't get as far as Jon the Baptist - very interesting considering the context.
I think balancing of the left & right brain hemisphere is seeping through here also. Responding to neither [saying no to Lady & Jon]?

The Boston tea party - aside from the name & what you've just mentioned I have little knowledge of it. It may be as a result of interacting on this forum though as I certainly feel changed on many levels

Once again thanks :)

 

[ajseph 21]

Well for further thoughts on the anima/animus and the shadow and this is superficial, the shadow represents things in us we suppress or repress for various reasons ie social, religious and other conditioning. The shadow can contain golden qualities like kindness or courage so it's not just dark. It's created by compromise with society (what's good to you or shall we say others makes up the persona what's bad shadow). This could be regarded as false personality in a sense or ego, the selfish aspect that is concerned with reward status and reputation and does everything to maintain itself (predator's mind). The anima of a male represents his feminine or eros ie his connection to life and animus represents logic or logos in a female. I would say look at your shadow and see what's there for what is no excuses or self pity or rationalizations and accept it. Maybe the jewellery is a golden aspect you've repressed. Without facing your persona and shadow the reactions will go on as a projection of animus on men.

 

[SMM]

Well for further thoughts on the anima/animus and the shadow and this is superficial, the shadow represents things in us we suppress or repress for various reasons ie social, religious and other conditioning. The shadow can contain golden qualities like kindness or courage so it's not just dark. It's created by compromise with society (what's good to you or shall we say others makes up the persona what's bad shadow). This could be regarded as false personality in a sense or ego, the selfish aspect that is concerned with reward status and reputation and does everything to maintain itself (predator's mind). The anima of a male represents his feminine or eros ie his connection to life and animus represents logic or logos in a female. I would say look at your shadow and see what's there for what is no excuses or self pity or rationalizations and accept it. Maybe the jewellery is a golden aspect you've repressed. Without facing your persona and shadow the reactions will go on as a projection of animus on men.

Can this repressed shadow manifest symptomatically, as in anxiety, depression & other related manifestations?
& is the ego related to ingrained habits/patterns/conditioning depending on one's genetics, environment & choices?

My automatic reactions towards men to date I'd consider pathological - in the sense of projecting desire/anticipation or attention-seeking for outward gain. I never knew/understood why such patterns happened before so this 'Predator's mind'/hubris explains a great deal.

 

[ajseph 21]

I believe the shadow could make one neurotic if it was continually repressed, but one way to see your shadow is to look at what you don't like in other women (the shadow projections are cast on members of the same sex). It may manifest as more jealousy or contempt for certain traits which could lead to anxiety etc. And that's a pretty good understanding of ego you described there!
Even in your reactions towards men there's something to be gained because the animus is spirit/intellect and is concerned with present and future (until it goes deeper). On the dark side it gives irrational convictions and opinions so it all depends on what you're seeking I suppose. What are you trying to gain?

 

[SMM]

I believe the shadow could make one neurotic if it was continually repressed, but one way to see your shadow is to look at what you don't like in other women (the shadow projections are cast on members of the same sex). It may manifest as more jealousy or contempt for certain traits which could lead to anxiety etc. And that's a pretty good understanding of ego you described there!
Even in your reactions towards men there's something to be gained because the animus is spirit/intellect and is concerned with present and future (until it goes deeper). On the dark side it gives irrational convictions and opinions so it all depends on what you're seeking I suppose. What are you trying to gain?

Well, that explains my neurosis
Sorry it's taken me a while to get back.. gain in what sense? I was thinking yesterday - what are my aims? What are my values? Integrity comes to mind, being true to body, though I feel that's a tad vague.
Also helping others, & whatever bridging the schism between pathology & Being entails.

I don't like seeing other women accept whatever the media decides to feed them, for reasons of appearances, or who follow whatever their friends/closest may be doing. That is to say, make-up, clothes, sometimes even bras. Who don't follow what's in their hearts for the sake of others. I guess to put it simply, I don't like submissiveness or that 'follower' mentality in other women - which probably makes me subconsciously always kick up a fuss with men..? I think this may be part of a 'daddy's little girl' program. I used to question everything but he'd try to silence me, then I'd get angry but told I shouldn't be angry as he was my father, so I turned it inward & appeared submissive but was repressing the rage I experienced to gain his love. My mum was a passive submissive woman so this was my 'example' so to speak.
The funny thing is, I know how much mess a non-follower can stir, so I think I had this social facade of being passive or submissive, when inside I'm actually strategically planning to get what I want whether I realise it at the time or not... because I think I can't get it if I ask openly, or I'll be silenced, which makes me worse than the genuinely submissive I think.
This facade still comes up from time to time, notably when I'm in other peoples' houses who have never been to my house [African concept of being obedient in another's house] & I've never had to tell them I how I felt.

The dark side of the animus, these irrational convictions & opinions... my God, yes! They are very persistent/strong. I term them 'fantasy planning' - my mind [overly concerned with the present & future, & when maladaptive, fixing the aforementioned] literally escapes my body & births a new world in the abstract or makes up scenarios in the present/future that the possibility of manifesting as 'visualised' is slim. I could be reading & all of a sudden some internal dialogue will queue itself in related to what I'd just read. They used to be a big anxiety factor & recently got triggered again; I literally turn around & ask, why am I thinking this? Imagination? Am I anticipating something? I try not to identify with these anymore, just observe & laugh at then, but it can start a fear cycle somehow when I think 'if I didn't have these thoughts, I would be faster in getting things done or completing simple tasks & goals that, when I look around, most people don't have a problem with - for example, reading, cleaning or organising around the house.
When I was younger, after some trauma/dissociating that I couldn't release or fully wrap my head around, I started to believe that I could make them really happen & worked towards them. This has happened several times in my life, in different ways, & now I have a real hard time trusting my thoughts or judgement because I'm not quite sure whether what I'm thinking is feasible or just a fiddle playing in that castle in the sky.
What's the good side of the animus? It feels as though I have a fractured spirit/intellect & it's very hard for me to forget, having an acute memory, so when I think back to why I did some of the things I did against my intuition/gut instincts, the following of a fantasy plan or purposely making a mistake just to see what would happen usually correlates with the occurrences.

I come up with stories & great flights of fancy that never meet paper or are completely orthogonal to reality [or what is going on, in my life]. It was part of the escape of dissociating but I never quite got back into my body for a sustained period. It's intensity varies circumstantially but it greatly affects my ability to focus in all aspects of life, notably in the academic department [I can't do essay/writing exams, all those words create chaotic theories in my head - so Maths & Physics work fine for me] & consistent organising [like, where to put stuff around the house or what to throw away, as I may be able to use it or borrow it to someone 'in the future', maybe due to malpractice so I'm trying out labelling where things go] & in the physical presence of others, I feel out of contact with my emotions.

When I was reading 'The First Initiation', & it's been mentioned around a few other places, the part about how we lie to ourselves all the time - is it in some way connected to the anima/animus? Yeah, in observing myself, I concur, we do lie to ourselves all the time - but it seems like a survival gimmick on the one hand. Because if we knew the truth of the situation, it's hard to muster the strength to live with ourselves without adaptation strategies.

Just remembered, I keep having images of Leonardo's St. John the Baptist [pointing his finger up to the heavens], which reminded me of the dream with John calling & me not answering.

 

[ajseph 21]

The animus positive traits would be courage, leadership, independence, protection, objective, wise, thoughtful and honorable. I can these are generic descriptions though so a question could be what positive qualifies do you see in the men you interact with? Submissiveness is something you don't like seeing in other women so in what ways do you see yourself as being submissive? Something that may help is to follow the direction of your fantasies and find the common theme. They may have valuable insights or new viewpoints if you listen to "their" side of the story.

 

[SMM]

The animus positive traits would be courage, leadership, independence, protection, objective, wise, thoughtful and honorable. I can these are generic descriptions though so a question could be what positive qualifies do you see in the men you interact with? Submissiveness is something you don't like seeing in other women so in what ways do you see yourself as being submissive? Something that may help is to follow the direction of your fantasies and find the common theme. They may have valuable insights or new viewpoints if you listen to "their" side of the story.

In the past I projected animus positive traits onto men, which then became part of my shadow so I would identify with the negative animus traits - & more strongly so when the men I projected the positive traits onto fell short of 'expectation'.

My persona grew in magnitude to the repressed shadow. In my dreams, I'm usually surrounded by women [my sisters notably] & have recently been better understanding why. Sometimes I sense other people's anima/animus in dreams/unconscious though never fully understood what it was until looking at my own. There's so much of this symbolism in dreams I don't know how I could miss these things...actually I do now, it was related to the rigid persona, shadow & animus.

Anyway, I feel as if all my clothes [external & internal, but mostly external] were really just the persona/Predator's mind trying to get attention or approval from the outside world that would give me validation for the positive animus traits I'd buried in the shadow. I don't want to wear any of them haha
My persona, or rather not facing my shadow, has held me back for so many years - & I know for sure people well into middle age or to death don't integrate these facets. It feels odd seeing things so very differently, where do I go from here?

Bodily feelings &/or emotions were suppressed to such a great extent that I was kind of always running up against a brick wall. My parents play a huge part in that - the submissiveness of my mother contradicted with my own nature, in other words she had repressed her creativity/positive animus & was in some way living it through her children as divorcing my dad didn't fit with her persona.

Alongside numerous links & information, I found this book titled Animus Aeternus by Deldon Anne McNeely. There's also Animus, Volume One by Barbara Hannah.

These are both books I'd very much like to read fully, so that's something to look forward to. The Eros theme thread also looks like a good read on the matter.

 

[SMM]

Something that may help is to follow the direction of your fantasies and find the common theme. They may have valuable insights or new viewpoints if you listen to "their" side of the story.

They are typically ideas & ideals that seem to serve the purpose of propelling action most prominently in unchartered territory. In surmising, they lack reason or seem pretty farfetched [could be related to belief of not being able to achieve] so tentatively questioning the motives is what often ends up going down. Is listening to "their" side of the story the same in meaning as observing them?

...There's been a few puzzling subsequent dreams.

For about two months things have seemed somewhat spasmodic. Many 'I's in here, well & truly.
There are two dreams I'd like to relay for their similarities in the 'twins' theme. In both instances the twins were young; one was 'me', the observer, at various points. The first, 'me' & my twin went to this museum where auditions were being held for musical advances. A woman demonstrated terrific opera singing capacities before the children were asked to go in & audition singularly on their instrument of choice.
Children went & returned until it was finally my twin's turn. I stayed put cross-legged amongst the other children who were all eager at the prospect of being elected to train & perform with this highly acclaimed group. Suddenly some federal agents show up looking for one particular kid & proceed into the audition room to question the jury. The doors remained locked behind them whilst everyone held their breath. After a long while, it seemed they'd never come out so I sat there with apprehension brewing, wandering "what the dickens? Where's my twin?"

After verbally battling it out with an official at the door, I got in to find the instruments in boxes, the teacher/opera singer packing her stuff, no federal agents & empty chairs seating invisible juries but - more to the point - no twin. The agents were possibly espionage members.

I go through life, teenage years, get into a bad crowd, preoccupied everywhere with the search for my twin. For some reason I went from looking like one half of the blonde-haired Olsen twins set to my usual physically contrasting appearance. One day outside McDonalds a woman presents me with a map for the search.

The second dream; a little harder to describe. A couple, a boy & a girl - one of these twins - are on a shopping expedition in Norway seemingly. New clothes for the boy, who was bewildered & hadn't the vaguest notion of what he wanted to procure. Once the shopping was over with, we went & sat down by the harbour awaiting a vessel. In front of us sat a mother & her daughter. The daughter - at the realisation that she looked exactly the same as the girl - starts conversing with us. The mother upon turning around to see what all the commotion was about is then gripped with the stark realisation that that girl, talking with her daughter, is her long lost child.

These dreams aside, there has been voices coming into my head as if wishing to converse with me. Generally it could be dissociation prime style - having heard "terminate", as if by command, before. In many social situations I feel as though dissociation occurs - especially with new people - which is likely linked to past social experience. In its absence there seems to be just a great well of anxiety. The whole public arena & milieu has taken an odd slant. It is to the point where I can barely relax or undertake any unprecedented decision as the whole frame of reference is almost the inverse of everything I latched onto so tightly under that cosy blanket of denial.

So ...tremendously marvelled & sort of coasting with assimilation without too wide a stare or long a glare at the destination at this point though that gnawing sensation that whatever it was that was being conducted in my life has passed is prevalent. Now to keep paralysis at bay...

My thoughts were that this twin phenomena somehow relates to persona, shadow & animus, along with the whole cascade in the Jungian brood, hence writing it here as an extension but reading back perhaps some of this belongs in The Swamp? It also bought dualities to mind.
The couple, the shadow & animus, the boy the persona... the twins, self & ego?

Thought I'd share. Perhaps I should ease the focus on dreams.
Thanks for reading.