Mocking is Catching

[David]

My mum (she's great & in her seventies) she used the old saying “Mocking is Catching” to sum up & I use it here as the heading.

Now ten or fifteen years ago my brother used to argue with my dad for using his finger to clean around the ketchup bottle after using it, you know the kind of finger licking thing.

Now several years later, I noticed my brother doing the same thing he was complaining about.

According to my mother, dad used to scoff at my uncles practice of buttering his bread in some weird fashion that seemed peculiar, low and behold many years later he's doing the same thing.

I wonder what I might be doing or not doing now or in the future in a similar way… although if I manage a bit of consideration & balance, I might do ok! Although I'm not particularly bothered about buttering bread the wrong way if that's possible.

Its quiet bazaar, I suspect this type of thing in a way is also part responsible for institutions becoming what they were against. I feel like saying “resistance is futile” it seems like the more one pulls away the more one is drawn into that, which one is pulling away from, no.

On the topic of mocking, the mockingbird came to mind and the song that promises the child all sots of rewards if she is quiet.

The mocking birds themselves in nature are best known for their habit of mimicking the sounds of insects & other birds, thou I suspect mimicking the sound of some species is just to attract more food and maybe they ones mimicking the songs of other birds just want to be something else, fake it till you make it, maybe.

Funny old world, but more often than not it's just not funny….

 

[Buddy]

Its quiet bazaar, I suspect this type of thing in a way is also part responsible for institutions becoming what they were against. I feel like saying “resistance is futile” it seems like the more one pulls away the more one is drawn into that, which one is pulling away from, no.

Hi Davida. I thought that was an interesting and insightful post. It is very interesting at times to try and figure out why certain kinds of reversals happen in people and organizations.

I formed a bit of a theory though based on self-observation that helped me see some traits I had adopted from my father after having sworn that I would never be like him when I grew up.

Funny thing about the mind - in order to push something away from you that you don't like and to keep from having to see it, the mind still has to keep it close enough so that part of your mind can remember what it is that you don't want to see and block it out 'before' it's noticed, otherwise, instead of being able to avoid it, you might accidentally see it sometime and be shocked! And that would be a no-no, because it's the mind's job to protect you, osit :)

Laura writes in the Wave, about the power of belief to determine what we see and what we can't, in case you haven't read it.

Funny old world, but more often than not it's just not funny….

Indeed. Seems like the more I learn, the more things get curiouser and curiouser! :D

Thanks for sharing that!

 

[David]

Its quiet bazaar, I suspect this type of thing in a way is also part responsible for institutions becoming what they were against. I feel like saying “resistance is futile” it seems like the more one pulls away the more one is drawn into that, which one is pulling away from, no.

Hi Davida. I thought that was an interesting and insightful post. It is very interesting at times to try and figure out why certain kinds of reversals happen in people and organizations.

I formed a bit of a theory though based on self-observation that helped me see some traits I had adopted from my father after having sworn that I would never be like him when I grew up.

Funny thing about the mind - in order to push something away from you that you don't like and to keep from having to see it, the mind still has to keep it close enough so that part of your mind can remember what it is that you don't want to see and block it out 'before' it's noticed, otherwise, instead of being able to avoid it, you might accidentally see it sometime and be shocked! And that would be a no-no, because it's the mind's job to protect you, osit :)

Laura writes in the Wave, about the power of belief to determine what we see and what we can't, in case you haven't read it.

Funny old world, but more often than not it's just not funny….

Indeed. Seems like the more I learn, the more things get curiouser and curiouser! :D

Thanks for sharing that!

Bud.. I don’t know, were you being honest or sarcastic..? I’m just asking..

The criticisms my brother or father had, were more so to do with their personal gripe with the holder of the habit, then the habit itself, but in any case the outcome seems to be the same.

Is this close to the nature of the predator, the predator gives us his mind.

But then hasn’t it been said that the battle is through us & its when we choose, though perhaps what we choose just might be a lesson and only a choice, but then the more I learn & experience the more choice, even if it’s slow progress.

Bud… I guess if somebody told me there was a big rock falling on my head.. I might say what about those emerald tablets, trying to avoid the fact that there was a big rock falling on my head so to speak.., that would be a shock, to bad for me, but even now perhaps this is what is happening and has happened in my past for sure.

Theirs a lot in Laura’s wave series and I might miss some things some times.

I guess All is lessons, thanks Bud

P.S. I wouldn’t mind knowing your theory Bud, but for now I’m just getting to know my dad and his history, my mum’s history and all the stuff that I didn’t know was going on back in the day, that creates difficulty or food for the lizzies so to speak.

Also I cant seem to find “Amazing Grace” where’s that gone..?

 

[Buddy]

fwiw, I wasn't being sarcastic. Just didn't do a good job of agreeing with you and making the point I was going for. It seems to me that in order to have such vocal gripes about a habit of the type you mentioned, a person would have some identification with the 'wrongness' of said habit. Naturally, such feelings against seeing the behavior called 'the habit' are expressed because he doesn't like it for some reason, but the 'habit' wasn't totally forgotten about otherwise he might not even remember he didn't like seeing the habit.

That was what I was trying to say about the individual's need to remember what it is he doesn't like, thus the mind's holding it close enough to conscious awareness to remember something that he doesn't want to see.

After awhile (many years perhaps), maybe a person gets tired of expending the energy on such back-and-forth mental games and the energy which was formerly spent NOT wanting to see something, is now an attractive force for expressing the behavior.


That's all I meant by 'my theory' and this explanation is probably convoluted enough to qualify as word salad, so I apologize for not expressing myself clearly.

 

[Mrs. Peel]

Also I cant seem to find “Amazing Grace” where’s that gone..?

Amazing Grace is out of print now.

 

[Leo40]

It seems useful in this context to discuss the concept of projection.
In many cases what one criticises or objects to in others is actually a
projection of what one does not like in oneself.
Once understood and observed this is a good mirror.

 

[Argonaut]

Interesting observation, Davida. It's like the boy who angrily vows to never treat his own children like his father treats him... yet he grows up, has kids, and does those exact things. I think Bud's theory makes a lot of sense - one identifies strongly with something in a negative way, internalizes it, then it becomes part of him whether he likes it or not. I think this can even happen when the hated habit only exists in the hater's imagination. For instance, if one starts to wrongly believe that others are harsh and judgmental, and this angers him, he will soon become harsh and judgmental towards others. It's the old idea that what one focuses on, one becomes. The positivity or negativity of the focus doesn't matter. As Nietzsche said, "He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster." I think that Leo40's suggestion has merit too, in many cases. Sometimes the "monster" is already in us and we wrongly see it "out there."

 

[David]

Bud.. my apologies… for me sometimes sarcasm is when someone agrees too much, grin and then goes serious, I thought over your post for a long time, perhaps to long

Thank you for taking the time to explain, fwiw I liked your point.

 

[obyvatel]

Sometimes the "monster" is already in us and we wrongly see it "out there."

Also sometimes the "monster" is in us but we do not see it until we see it outside of us - the "monster" is actually there outside too.
In some other cases, mocking/sarcasm may initially be a mechanism to deal with something that is pathological - the monster that is outside. It may so happen that no one identifies the "monster" as what it is. Instead, the person exhibiting this defence mechanism (mocking/sarcasm) is taken to task for not following the social norm of "being nice". In the absence of knowledge about pathology and in the presence of the pressure from social standards, this legitimate human reaction towards something that is very odd or different cannot come to any logical conclusion. Consequently, the initially psychologically healthy individual who chose to call out on a behavior/incident that others silently put up with, would become ponerized to either join the herd of victims and accept abnormal behavior (focus on positive) , or internalize the same abnormal behavior and join the rank of the perpetrator (focus on negative).
The specific underlying dynamics of the situation would determine whether or not mocking/sarcasm is a legitimate response. We need to be able to correctly identify and fight the monster both inside and outside. OSIT

 

[Aidylsun B.]

Your family says, “Mocking is Catching” and my family says, “Laughing is Catching”. As children, we were always cautioned not to make fun of other people or laugh at the misfortunes others because, after all, “laughing is catching”. So, in many ways, that old saying taught us to have, among other things, compassion and empathy.

Now, at family gatherings, we’ll often laugh at one another when someone makes a certain gesture that reminds us of a mother who has passed away. Even I can look at my children and see my own mannerism and similarities “imprinted” on them. It’s sometimes very funny to observe.

I think see your point, Davida, when you say, “Its quiet bazaar, I suspect this type of thing in a way is also part responsible for institutions becoming what they were against. I feel like saying “resistance is futile” it seems like the more one pulls away the more one is drawn into that, which one is pulling away from, no” and, “On the topic of mocking, the mockingbird came to mind and the song that promises the child all sots of rewards if she is quiet.”

Somehow, the lyrics to the newer version of the Mockingbird song reminded me of your comment.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLxc53RcHJw

 

[David]

Your family says, “Mocking is Catching” and my family says, “Laughing is Catching”. As children, we were always cautioned not to make fun of other people or laugh at the misfortunes others because, after all, “laughing is catching”. So, in many ways, that old saying taught us to have, among other things, compassion and empathy.

Now, at family gatherings, we’ll often laugh at one another when someone makes a certain gesture that reminds us of a mother who has passed away. Even I can look at my children and see my own mannerism and similarities “imprinted” on them. It’s sometimes very funny to observe.

Yes, I guess genetics and imprinting seem to play a large role in the makeup of a person.

I guess even just the act of laughing at nothing is catching/bonding to a group, nowadays it seems that children hardly ever laugh at nothing, it seems to be directed at something, if it's misfortune it might bond a group in thinking that the misfortune of others was funny, where as laughing at nothing from the beginning of a smile as young children, seems to be the embodiment of innocence mechanical or not.
Although somebody mentioned it here somewhere about (spontaneous) laughing maybe being apart of a bonding thing within a group of children, I'm not sure.



Thanks Mrs Peel for info, I tried looking on amazon and eBay and a general search, is there going to be an eBook version for download?

 

[Mrs. Peel]

Thanks Mrs Peel for info, I tried looking on amazon and eBay and a general search, is there going to be an eBook version for download?

Not as far as I know... but perhaps somebody else has more info.

 

[bonegatherer]

[quote author=Argonaut] Sometimes the "monster" is already in us and we wrongly see it "out there."
[/quote]

Yeah, Lord of the Flies. The beast they were so afraid of, that they thought was lurking in the corner was really the beast within them:

Simon's convo. toward the end with the pig on the stick/beast:

"Simon's head was tilted slightly up. His eyes could not break away and the Lord of the Flies hung in space before him.
"What are you doing out here all alone? Aren't you afraid of me?"
Simon shook.
"There isn't anyone to help you. Only me. And I'm the Beast."
Simon's mouth labored, brought forth audible words.
"Pig's head on a stick."
"Fancy thinking the Beast was something you could hunt and kill! You knew, didn't you?" said the head. For a moment or two the forest and all the other dimly appreciated places echoed with the parody of laughter. "You knew, didn't you? I'm part of you? Close, close, close! I'm the reason why it’s no go? Why things are what they are?"


"Maybe there is a beast...maybe it's us."


Edit=Quotes

 

[Laura]

Pogo: "We have met the enemy and he is us."