mood instabilities?

[mkrnhr]

Hello,
I don’t know if I have to post here and I don’t know if it is relevant. I have come recently to some sorts of excess feelings of fear and oppression (my English is strange I know). It comes sometimes without any warnings and at any time but most often at night. The oppression feelings are like in some of my childhood and adolescence dreams in which there where individuals in my bedroom and then I was paralysed by a sort of electric discharges. The fear felling is the most intense and sometimes it gives rise to physical sensations but the strangest is that I cannot identify any reason. It comes and goes then after I feel tired. Maybe it is not related just after these feelings have begun my life degraded dramatically. It started a week or so after the beginning of theses “panic surchargesᾠ when my… well the woman occupying my heart left me and with other problems (health, job, and administrative situation to say a few) begin to accumulate also. It is like exponential. Even some friends I love became very aggressive with me. Am I imagining all this stuff? I hope so. Coincidences can be accepted as being a possibility among others but I cannot explain those moments of panic, fear and oppression (suffocation but not in a strictly physical term). Those moments are very unpleasant and make me feel very tired and exhausted as if I have given some effort. Some have advices to make it stop?

 

[Ryan]

My personal experience is that stressful events such as you described (spouse leaving, health and job problems etc) are generally preceded by warning signs which we tend to ignore and pretend are not happening, or that they mean something different. Perhaps these anxiety attacks that you mention are a symptom of some aspects of your life that you are not bringing into examination by your conscious mind?

There are generally two ways to stop such manifestations.
1. Suppress/Ignore them. This will have consequences that I would call very negative, and it will probably become more and more difficult to keep this up.

2. Use them to try and reach a more objective understanding of yourself. This is the more difficult path initially, but has consequences that I would call very positive.

You may find reading the "Wave" series by Laura to be of some help if you choose the second path. Also, I would recommend reading some of books and material about Narcissism (mentioned elsewhere here on the forum). Reading, learning and sincere self-observation are probably the best things that you can do to try and combat these feelings. Also, get medical advice from health professionals that you can trust if there are physical disease aspects to the problems you are dealing with.

Try not to get overwhelmed by it all - break it down step by step - one small problem at a time! :)

 

[mkrnhr]

Thank you Ryan. Your answer has warmed my heart. I am actually recovering and I am also ashamed to have been so much catched by lower emotions :P . I did not yet read the wave series except for some chapters online. Reading "the Work" by SOTT has also helped me. I guess (I hope) I have definitively started the second way (the hard one) you have cited :) Thanks a lot!