tree
Jedi
I posted an earlier dream about meeting "the Oracle" (like the in the Matrix...but a little different). Upon wakening I heard a very distinct urgent voice in my head saying..."They are trying to sterilize you!" My initial response, in my sleepy morning haze, was an interpretation related to cleaning vs. something related to fertility. Then a few moments later I realized that fertility was probably the issue....who "they" indicates...i can only speculate. Also I can only speculate on the source of the voice...but it was an incident accompanied by a strong presence or force that felt very protective.
I recently found out that I conceived the very same day after hearing the voice...at a very unlikely time in my cycle. It wasn´t planned, but is welcomed. However I had a deep internal debate...confronting fears about security, health, my own freedom, etc. I appreciate the perspective that cassiopaea has given me...mostly that the spirit matters most. I am trying to connect with whatever spirit may come through my body, as well as understand that I cannot see the future and possible reasons that this may have happened. For my husband and I, life would be much easier without a pregnancy for the time-being...mostly financially since we have only recently begun an enterprise that will stabilize our finances. Now it is uncertain, but we are trusting the challenge and the adventure with as much courage as we can muster, and with love.
My thoughts often return to the morning voice...that maybe some force was trying to prevent this...a force that knew ahead of time what would come to pass. I was never sure that I wanted children...simply because of the state of the world and the rate of its decline. I never thought that perhaps those seeking awareness may bring a light into the world through children...perhaps my own teacher.
just sharing. I´ve been traveling for weeks with little internet access, and will continue to do so. I appreciate this forum as a source of reminders, mind-openers, teachers, and friends. Thanks to all.
Tree
I recently found out that I conceived the very same day after hearing the voice...at a very unlikely time in my cycle. It wasn´t planned, but is welcomed. However I had a deep internal debate...confronting fears about security, health, my own freedom, etc. I appreciate the perspective that cassiopaea has given me...mostly that the spirit matters most. I am trying to connect with whatever spirit may come through my body, as well as understand that I cannot see the future and possible reasons that this may have happened. For my husband and I, life would be much easier without a pregnancy for the time-being...mostly financially since we have only recently begun an enterprise that will stabilize our finances. Now it is uncertain, but we are trusting the challenge and the adventure with as much courage as we can muster, and with love.
My thoughts often return to the morning voice...that maybe some force was trying to prevent this...a force that knew ahead of time what would come to pass. I was never sure that I wanted children...simply because of the state of the world and the rate of its decline. I never thought that perhaps those seeking awareness may bring a light into the world through children...perhaps my own teacher.
just sharing. I´ve been traveling for weeks with little internet access, and will continue to do so. I appreciate this forum as a source of reminders, mind-openers, teachers, and friends. Thanks to all.
Tree
