My alternate reality experience

Evan

The Living Force
In late January of this year (2019), I was hospitalized with pneumonia and septic shock. I was sedated and intubated for 17 days, during which I lived in an alternate life, died, watched my funeral, and was resurrected. This is an account of that life.

Chapter 1: I Am Sick

I’m in the emergency room, I’ve been told I need an organ transplant, but they cannot help me. I leave the hospital and find myself at a Hasidic rabbi’s home. He sends a young boy out into the night and he returns with some red strips of tissue in a bucket. These are to be transplanted into my lungs to regrow them. I spend roughly a week being nursed by the boy. I believe I’m somewhere in New York City.

I am now returned to the hospital near my home in California. Things are going on in the background but I can’t really tell what is going on, but there’s some kind of crisis. I then see the Hasidic boy, and he’s been brought to the hospital with his father the rabbi, who is now in need of a lifesaving transplant himself. The hospital administrator is sitting near where I’m lying and I tell her that I know the boy and his father. She asks me how to curry favor with the boy so she can be the hero who saves his father, who is evidently being threatened with deportation or prison for organ trading like that which saved my life. I tell her to give him my favorite pistachio ice cream from a specific dairy near where I once lived in Wisconsin. She gets him the ice cream and wins him over. I see a picture of him with the administrator on the front page of the next day’s newspaper. I’m dismayed that what she’s telling the world about the boy is lies and I tell her so. I remind her about the ice cream and that it was me who brought him to her.

I awake to flashing lights reflected on the walls of the emergency room where my bed is. The police have come to take the boy and his father. Apparently there will be some kind of war in the Mediterranean if the man is not freed. I attempt to speak on the rabbi’s behalf but am silenced by sedation.

I awake in a hotel room somewhere east of Gibraltar. There’s a television on and my ex-girlfriend’s daughter is at the foot of my bed telling her father on the phone that I am stable. Then the explosions start to shake the building. I can see fighter planes outside the window firing upon one another. On the tv, Trump has declared war with Russia. Somehow this relates to the rabbi and the organs.

There’s a man in my hotel room too. It seems that it’s his room and I’m just there stuck in my bed silent. He’s betting on himself in a fight on a pay per view channel on the television. Later, I come to understand that he’s my doctor, and the nurses and staff also bet on him every Tuesday. He is drunk and he is on the phone making odds, and he turns and tells me he will cook for me on his boat in the Gulf of Mexico.

The man/doctor will return later in the story.

Next, Chapter Two: Leaving Las Vegas (I Am Dead).
 
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Chapter Two: Leaving Las Vegas (I Am Dead)

I’ve left the hospital and am well. I’ve decided not to return home but to take my guitar and follow my path. My first encounter is with a young girl who sings and plays guitar. I sit down and play and she says we should be a team. For some reason I decide not to join her, and as she’s walking up the stairs to the rooftop where the musicians are performing, I hear a gunshot and I leave.

I’m now in Las Vegas, looking for a place to play some music. I meet a girl named Erica, and she takes me to her home. We begin a romance. She has a twin who she swaps identities with and I never know who I’m talking to. The twin however (at least I think it’s the twin) runs a kinky sex place in an industrial complex across from the airport.

After finding out that I’ve been duped by her twin, I decide to tell Erica I’m going back to California to find the rooftop girl and play music with her. Furious, she drugs me and I’m taken there as a captive and forced to betray a dear friend for money while a gun is at my head. I escape, and I’m running through the industrial complex and they catch me.

I wake in an inflatable pool filled with some kind of blue latex goo. A woman dressed as a nurse comes in with a syringe and injects me saying, “Now you’ll know what it feels like to die while the Thorazine paralyzes first your body, then your lungs.” I fight and struggle to move, but I’m becoming more paralyzed by the minute. I manage to tear a hole in the plastic pool and the goo begins to slowly drain out, but it’s getting closer to my mouth. Evidently I’m to both suffocate and drown.

It’s then that I recall that an old friend Donny is a sergeant of the Las Vegas police. I can just nudge a cellphone off a ledge and manage to press a 911 and tell them to send Donny to my location. A few moments later I hear shouting and gunfire outside. Donny runs in and picks me up in his arms, but he is too late. I am dead.

Next, Chapter Three: The Crow (Burial and Resurrection)
 
I'm guessing you're open to feedback by posting here. My take is this account or story is very hard to follow. First couple of paragraphs, it jumps from one event / location to another with little coherence.
 
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I'm guessing you're open to feedback by posting here. My take is this account or story is very hard to follow. First couple of paragraphs, it jumps from one event / location to another with little coherence.

Yeah I’m sorry about that. I realize it lacks form. Really the parts I’ve described so far are flashes of memories leading up to the important stuff, which is the death and resurrection experience. Watching my funeral and hearing my eulogy. The flash from the sky and the crow ceremony. I’ll try to make that clearer. Mainly at this point I’m just trying to create some point of reference. Please bear with me as the timelines overlap.
 
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yes ... I do not understand anything ... I read this story in English as it is written and read with the help of google translators and nothing makes sense to me. I thought it was because of the language barrier ... but I really do not understand what the writer wants to say
 
I’m in the emergency room, I’ve been told I need an organ transplant, but they cannot help me. I leave the hospital and find myself at a Hasidic rabbi’s home. He sends a young boy out into the night and he returns with some red strips of tissue in a bucket. These are to be transplanted into my lungs to regrow them. I spend roughly a week being nursed by the boy. I believe I’m somewhere in New York City.

Just my opinion and interpretation:

The young boy symbolizes - you. The reference to "Hasidic boy", although it can take on a religious tone in some instances, in the sentence structure above - denotes "Age of Innocence". The "Hasidic rabbi" takes on the symbolism of a devoted Father figure, who is idolized and held in high esteem. The "organ" that they can't help with - is "a broken heart" (red strips of tissue, transplanted into my lungs to regrow).

General feeling is that the Parent's are separated or Divorced and the young boy is visiting his Father for a week in New York City. The Son finds it hard (broken heart) being separated from his Father.


I am now returned to the hospital near my home in California. Things are going on in the background but I can’t really tell what is going on, but there’s some kind of crisis. I then see the Hasidic boy, and he’s been brought to the hospital with his father the rabbi, who is now in need of a lifesaving transplant himself. The hospital administrator is sitting near where I’m lying and I tell her that I know the boy and his father. She asks me how to curry favor with the boy so she can be the hero who saves his father, who is evidently being threatened with deportation or prison for organ trading like that which saved my life. I tell her to give him my favorite pistachio ice cream from a specific dairy near where I once lived in Wisconsin. She gets him the ice cream and wins him over. I see a picture of him with the administrator on the front page of the next day’s newspaper. I’m dismayed that what she’s telling the world about the boy is lies and I tell her so. I remind her about the ice cream and that it was me who brought him to her.

General feeling is that the Mother lives in California and the boy's Father has brought him back home. "Things going on in the background" and "some kind of crisis" may suggest a deep discussion or argument between Parent's. There's over-tones of the Father wanting a reconciliation, due to a broken heart (in need of a lifesaving transplant himself) but "he is evidently being threatened with deportation" (New York City). The (female) hospital administrator represents the Mother/Wife. The Son wants the separation to end and pleads with the Mother. The Parent's get back together but the Mother blames the Son for the separation "what she's telling the world about the boy is lies and I tell her so".

I awake to flashing lights reflected on the walls of the emergency room where my bed is. The police have come to take the boy and his father. Apparently there will be some kind of war in the Mediterranean if the man is not freed. I attempt to speak on the rabbi’s behalf but am silenced by sedation.

I awake in a hotel room somewhere east of Gibraltar. There’s a television on and my ex-girlfriend’s daughter is at the foot of my bed telling her father on the phone that I am stable. Then the explosions start to shake the building. I can see fighter planes outside the window firing upon one another. On the tv, Trump has declared war with Russia. Somehow this relates to the rabbi and the organs.

General feeling - the reconciliation was short lived and the Mother called the Police to remove the Husband and Son. The Husband was arrested and the Son placed in "a safe house" until his release. The Son is frightened and has fears of pending doom.

There’s a man in my hotel room too. It seems that it’s his room and I’m just there stuck in my bed silent. He’s betting on himself in a fight on a pay per view channel on the television. Later, I come to understand that he’s my doctor, and the nurses and staff also bet on him every Tuesday. He is drunk and he is on the phone making odds, and he turns and tells me he will cook for me on his boat in the Gulf of Mexico.

General feeling - The Father is having financial problems, supporting himself and the Son. They are living out of a hotel room. The Father has taken to drinking and getting drunk, squandering what little money he can get his hands on. Food is in short supply.
 
Chapter Two: Leaving Las Vegas (I Am Dead)

I’ve left the hospital and am well. I’ve decided not to return home but to take my guitar and follow my path. My first encounter is with a young girl who sings and plays guitar. I sit down and play and she says we should be a team. For some reason I decide not to join her, and as she’s walking up the stairs to the rooftop where the musicians are performing, I hear a gunshot and I leave.

I’m now in Las Vegas, looking for a place to play some music. I meet a girl named Erica, and she takes me to her home. We begin a romance. She has a twin who she swaps identities with and I never know who I’m talking to. The twin however (at least I think it’s the twin) runs a kinky sex place in an industrial complex across from the airport.

"I’ve left the hospital and am well. I’ve decided not to return home" - Following the dialog from the last testimony, the Son has left the Father and has decided to strike it out on his own. He meets and takes interest in a young girl but backs away from any friendship, He only trusts himself.

He meets another girl, they start a relationship but he soon discovers, she can't be trusted "swaps identities" - says one thing, does another - not truthful.


After finding out that I’ve been duped by her twin, I decide to tell Erica I’m going back to California to find the rooftop girl and play music with her. Furious, she drugs me and I’m taken there as a captive and forced to betray a dear friend for money while a gun is at my head. I escape, and I’m running through the industrial complex and they catch me.

General feeling - You feel betrayed "been duped" and question yourself - if the first girl was more compatible (same interest in music).
Confusion sets in "she drugged me" that led to the feeling of being "captive and forced to betray'" compounding your own insecurities.

This sentence structure is very interesting. " I escape, and I’m running through the industrial complex and they catch me." The word "escape" here - might signify "mentally and emotionally" burying your emotions - deep within? An "industrial complex" is like a maze that can be sectioned off or compartmentized. "And they catch me" meaning the emotions are embedded.

I wake in an inflatable pool filled with some kind of blue latex goo. A woman dressed as a nurse comes in with a syringe and injects me saying, “Now you’ll know what it feels like to die while the Thorazine paralyzes first your body, then your lungs.” I fight and struggle to move, but I’m becoming more paralyzed by the minute. I manage to tear a hole in the plastic pool and the goo begins to slowly drain out, but it’s getting closer to my mouth. Evidently I’m to both suffocate and drown.

General feeling - this is a generalization and description of what it feels like "internally" in having to bury thoughts and emotions - a kind of suffocation of the brain - that often paralyzes or hampers physical response, reflex or movement.

It’s then that I recall that an old friend Donny is a sergeant of the Las Vegas police. I can just nudge a cellphone off a ledge and manage to press a 911 and tell them to send Donny to my location. A few moments later I hear shouting and gunfire outside. Donny runs in and picks me up in his arms, but he is too late. I am dead.

General feeling - Depression and searching for a life-line that you can trust but the individuals - that you should be able to rely on - are no longer available or can not be reached. You are left to your own vices.
 
yes ... I do not understand anything ... I read this story in English as it is written and read with the help of google translators and nothing makes sense to me. I thought it was because of the language barrier ... but I really do not understand what the writer wants to say
I’m hoping it’s clear that these pieces were as dreams while I was sedated. They felt completely real. But like dreams, the scene often changes suddenly. People’s faces turn into those of other people. One moment you’re in a house, and the next you’re on a train. I hope that helps.
 
Angelburst, this is really great what you’re doing with this! I’m fascinated by your interpretations! Thank you.

There is one thing that I interpreted regarding the paralyzed in the pool part. I think that at the same time in this reality, that might have been the moment they almost lost me. I was fighting and struggling against the propofol sedation (which kept me “paralyzed”), and death (my wife said that around the 10th day, the doctor was relieved that my color improved because he was going to have to do a tracheotomy. He told her that he was worried that I wasn’t going to survive).

The other thing is that what I’ve posted are merely highlights. There are so many levels of things that were happening it would take me a year just to outline the details.

The thing that I want to make clear is that I believed, and still believe that all of this was real. I’m positive that I spent time in a different version of my life. It took weeks for my wife to prove it hadn’t happened. She had to point out that my passport had no stamp from leaving the country. I say it was “like a dream” in that it had episodic qualities, but it was utterly real for me.
 
Yeah I’m sorry about that. I realize it lacks form. Really the parts I’ve described so far are flashes of memories leading up to the important stuff, which is the death and resurrection experience.

The thing that I want to make clear is that I believed, and still believe that all this was real. I'm positive that I spent time in a different version of my life.

I say it was “like a dream” in that it had episodic qualities, but it was real for me.

From my perspective - what you are describing - doesn't lack form, it's basically "symbolism" like fractals. I would like to ask, Evster - if you will continue to relate your experience. I realize, it's difficult in trying to describe the experience, itself, due to the heavy emotional overlay but "the flashes of memory" generally retain their "vividness".

I would like to also suggest, carrying a small pocket size notebook and pen - to enter "flashes of memory" that might surface during the day. By putting it on paper, it seems to unfold "more descriptive in detail" due to focused attention. And for what it's worth, these kinds of personal experiences - do have an overwhelming sense of being "very real". I would like to ask that you continue on this journey and share.
 
From my perspective - what you are describing - doesn't lack form, it's basically "symbolism" like fractals. I would like to ask, Evster - if you will continue to relate your experience. I realize, it's difficult in trying to describe the experience, itself, due to the heavy emotional overlay but "the flashes of memory" generally retain their "vividness".

I would like to also suggest, carrying a small pocket size notebook and pen - to enter "flashes of memory" that might surface during the day. By putting it on paper, it seems to unfold "more descriptive in detail" due to focused attention. And for what it's worth, these kinds of personal experiences - do have an overwhelming sense of being "very real". I would like to ask that you continue on this journey and share.
I most certainly intend to. I wish to thank you for the encouragement. The first couple of responses, while welcome, were a bit discouraging, and I was considering not continuing as it appeared not to be connecting with people. I feared it was beyond my reach to put it into words that would be understood, and that I would be stuck replaying it it over and over in my head all alone. So thank you for giving me the push to carry on.

The next “chapter” is by far the most significant, and I really want to paint as clear a picture as possible, so I will refrain from trying to spit it all out right this moment. :-)
 
I wake in an inflatable pool filled with some kind of blue latex goo. A woman dressed as a nurse comes in with a syringe and injects me saying, “Now you’ll know what it feels like to die while the Thorazine paralyzes first your body, then your lungs.” I fight and struggle to move, but I'm becoming more paralyzed by the minute. I manage to tear a hole in the plastic pool and the goo begins to slowly drain out, but it's getting closer to my mouth. Evidently I’m to both suffocate and drown.

There is one thing that I interpreted regarding the paralyzed in the pool part, I think that at the same time in this reality, that might have been the moment they almost lost me. I was fighting and struggling against the propofol sedation (which kept me “paralyzed”), and death (my wife said that around the 10th day, the doctor was relieved that my color improved because he was going to have to do a tracheotomy. He told her that he was worried that I wasn’t going to survive).

An interpretation of the symbolism:

"I wake in an inflatable pool filled with some kind of blue latex goo" - inside the womb.

" I fight and struggle to move, but I’m becoming more paralyzed by the minute." - a quickening before birth.

"I manage to tear a hole in the plastic pool and the goo begins to slowly drain out" - when the membrane tears & the fluid drains - lubricating the birth canal. Women refer to this process as the "water breaking".

"but it’s getting closer to my mouth." - fetus in the birthing position (head first).

"I think that at the same time in this reality, that might have been the moment they almost lost me." - birth and death do share the same realm and it is "possible" you were given "a choice" at that moment - to continue on this present life course or to exit.
 
Yeah I’m sorry about that. I realize it lacks form. Really the parts I’ve described so far are flashes of memories leading up to the important stuff, which is the death and resurrection experience. Watching my funeral and hearing my eulogy. The flash from the sky and the crow ceremony. I’ll try to make that clearer. Mainly at this point I’m just trying to create some point of reference. Please bear with me as the timelines overlap.

It makes much more sense to me now. I didn't get it because I read it as starting with an account of what led up to you going to hospital. I see now you were describing what was happening during being out in the hospital.

I didn't read your intro carefully. Very sorry for the misunderstanding on my part!
 

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