Need advice-possible psychopath agent in music business

[aragorn]

Hi,

I wasn't sure if I would have the guts to post this, since you don't really know me yet, but I'm in a very desperate sort of situation and I could use some help.

I try to make this short :)
I have strong suspicions that my employer might be a psychopath. I'm in the music business-an opera singer. I've had this agent now for ca two years whose purpose, for those not familiar with the business, is simply to get me "gigs" and engagements, e.g. talk to "important" people and fix me a deal.

Okay, first of all, almost every artist in this management thinks she(this manager that is) is a little bit "unprofessional" and doesn't efficiently get the job done so to say. But because there's occasionally some good engagements people just tend to forget the "flimsiness" of her act and go along with their lives. And one revealing thing IMO is that those artist, including myself, with a "clearer sense of who one is" and good self esteem and those who demand something of her(in a normal business sort of way) don't get along with this woman at all.

So the main problem is that for a long time now I've been sort of on the B-list of artists(boohoo, yes I know...). And here's the catch: this manager always keeps promising me "advancement" into better deals, e.g. "Yes, I'll do this and this for you next week, and I'll contact that guy in Germany for an auditioning. By the end of the week you'll be on our "top ten" artists list..." And then...SILENCE...nothing happens, ever! When I'll ask about these promises she somehow always turns it against me, e.g. "Well, I thought about our talk last time and remembered how you said this and this (completely twisting my words, or just making things up). I'm not so sure we can represent you anymore..." And occasionally, when I get angry at her (yes I do that!) and remind her of her promises, she can suddenly play the "victim", and wham! suddenly I'm feeling sorry for her!

On the outer side she is this "a little bit silly", very talkative, a little bit fragile, girlish and always happy person. She's a workaholic, seems always like having a lot to do-but gets very little done. But occasionally she gets very angry and "parenting" trying to put you down. She NEVER admits that she's done wrong or feels sorry. There are more details(symptoms), but you get the picture.

***So my question really is: Since she's not gaining any wealth or money of this playing around and messing up the lives of us artists(One would think it would hurt the business, when making the artists insecure and confused), could she be doing it just for "fun"? I mean, because she has a reputation in the management sector of being a "fruit cake", she'll probably never will get to the "A-class" of managers. So why could she be doing this if it makes her look like a fool? Or could she just be suffering of some other disorder, like bipolar or schizoph.?

Any insights would be welcomed, since I and a few others in the business are really screwed up by this person. Yes I know, the best thing would be to "ditch the b**ch", but contracts are hard to find in this field. So I figure, if I can diagnose this woman accurately, maybe I can play the cards more cleverly, false hope maybe?

aragorn

 

[anart]

Hi Aragon, I think it is a 'false hope'. I would never presume to know what is best for you in this situation, but since she doesn't even sound like she's good at what she does, it sounds to me like it is past time to move on and do the work necessary to get hooked up with another manager.

Pay attention to results and actions - not words. If she is pathological than nothing will help the situation and getting out of it is the best course of action. As to why she does it - it very well may simply be 'food' for her - she's in a position of power and playing with people's lives - nothing better in the world for someone who feeds on others.

Not knowing her, it is rather impossible to say exactly what her 'disorder' is - but at the very least it appears obvious that she is a terrible manager - so perhaps its time to stand up for yourself and fire her. If you don't, you know what is in store and that nothing will change - if you do, then at the very least you are opening up possibilities that did not exist before. My take on it might be irrelevant, but, for what it's worth.

 

[the rabbit]

Hi Aragorn
I myself having in the past worked for agencies relating to music would say that simply there is no harm in looking for another agency to represent you , regardless of what your present agent is like or may be as regards to her being a psychopath.

From what you write I can give you no feedback one way or another.I myself, and other musicians working for a certain agent bringing work in for touring scandinavian music venues was also criticised very heavily , every one wants the top gigs and that cant always be.

If you discovered for a fact that your agent is a psychopath , what then?

I would strongly suggest finding another agent to deal with your affairs. It is my hope that you are not so deeply contracted out that you are unable to break your relationship.

If you believe in your talent greatly and your want is huge , then obviously you have the wrong representation.

hope this helps a little

 

[allen]

So I figure, if I can diagnose this woman accurately, maybe I can play the cards more cleverly, false hope maybe?

I don't think diagnosis of anyone is impossible in such a casual situation, and certainly not possible without training. Sounds to me like you are guilty of attempting to pin a label on her because you don't care for her or how she represents you. Just because someone might be stunted in their emotional and/or intellectual growth or is lousy at what they do does not make them a psychopath.

Also, remember that you are in an industry where people get paid for doing very little actual work. I understand that to really sing opera, you have to be half artist half Olympic level athlete (as far as your vocal chords are concerned), but everyone around you is trying to make a living by doing nothing but getting you a gig or taking a cut because they are producing your gig. In other words, they probably don't have a lot of talent themselves. You can't expect people in those situations to be the creme de la creme of humanity, you know?

I really think you should evaluate your own expectations in your line of work. I live around Hollywood and have had many friends in "the industry" as they like to call it here, as if there was no other industry of any import. While the percentage of psychopaths in the general population might be 6%, I would wager that in the L.A. area it is closer to 15% or even higher...around "the industry" that is. There is potential easy money and a lot of dreamers that make for very easy prey.

You know who makes it? And by that I mean the people who maintain their sanity while making a living, not necessarily those who become famous. It isn't the people who diagnose their agents, who very well may be psychopaths. It is the people who understand what is going on around them in all ways, know what they intend to do and do it, without undue dependence on others to make it happen for them. Everyone else is eaten up.

 

[aragorn]

Thanks for the replies!

After reading my original post again, I do sound like a whiner and a "looser"! :) But I ensure you(and me!), that is not the case; I firmly believe in my talent and possibilities in this business. Maybe the problem is that I've always had this weak spot in me wanting "everyone to get along", an optimistic voice in me saying: Just show everyone your "infinite love" and understanding, and all the difficult situations and people will turn out nice!

Well, maybe it's time for me to grow up and drop this New Age thinking. Some people you just can't get along with no matter how much you try. The problem IMO in the music business is that many are willing to kiss a*s and do almost anything to get those gigs and deals. Since my journey of critical thinking and self discovery started a few years ago, I have started to feel the wonder and freedom of "Having a value as a human being not based on what you do or accomplish, but completely other things...like just BEING". So it is a contradicting thing trying to evolve, and at the same time stay in a business based on almost completely superficial and materialistic views. Maybe there'll come a day when I decide to quit this, and start driving a taxi or something(I already have the license for this, having completed a course in my youth). But then again, I do love the music, making music and especially the wonderful feeling of singing, that it would be a very hard decision to quit.

I'll start to check out those other agencies... ;)

 

[Laura]

Why even worry if the agent is or is not a psychopath? She's not doing the job you want, so get another who will. It really is that simple.

 

[aragorn]

Why even worry if the agent is or is not a psychopath? She's not doing the job you want, so get another who will. It really is that simple.

Yes that's very true. Maybe I needed this thread to sort things out in my head and crystallize this simple truth. Thanks all for your comments, sorry if someone feels I used the forum in a wrong way for a quick "therapy session" :)

 

[PopHistorian]

Laura's right. In my long experience in the music arena, my conclusion is that there are just not that many competent people in the business end of it, especially at the local level. Read books and do absolutely as much of it yourself as possible. When working with someone else, state expectations and the level of involvement you want to have yourself.