New Strain of Fact-Resistant Humans Endanger Earth

[JGeropoulas]

Scientists: Earth Endangered by New Strain of Fact-Resistant Humans

By Andy Borowitz
New Yorker Magazine
May 12, 2015

Scientists have discovered a powerful new strain of fact-resistant humans who are threatening the ability of Earth to sustain life, a sobering new study reports.

The research, conducted by the University of Minnesota, identifies a virulent strain of humans who are virtually immune to any form of verifiable knowledge, leaving scientists at a loss as to how to combat them.

“These humans appear to have all the faculties necessary to receive and process information,” Davis Logsdon, one of the scientists who contributed to the study, said. “And yet, somehow, they have developed defenses that, for all intents and purposes, have rendered those faculties totally inactive.”
More worryingly, Logsdon said, “As facts have multiplied, their defenses against those facts have only grown more powerful.”

While scientists have no clear understanding of the mechanisms that prevent the fact-resistant humans from absorbing data, they theorize that the strain may have developed the ability to intercept and discard information en route from the auditory nerve to the brain. “The normal functions of human consciousness have been completely nullified,” Logsdon said.

While reaffirming the gloomy assessments of the study, Logsdon held out hope that the threat of fact-resistant humans could be mitigated in the future. “Our research is very preliminary, but it’s possible that they will become more receptive to facts once they are in an environment without food, water, or oxygen,” he said.

_http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/scientists-earth-endangered-by-new-strain-of-fact-resistant-humans

 

[Laura]

I know it's supposed to be satire, but it is too sadly true; humans are on their way to extinction - or near extinction.

 

[Palinurus]

SOTT covered this already a couple of days ago:

http://www.sott.net/article/296409-Scientists-Earth-endangered-by-new-strain-of-fact-resistant-humans

 

[CelticWarrior]

Scientists: Earth Endangered by New Strain of Fact-Resistant Humans

By Andy Borowitz
New Yorker Magazine
May 12, 2015

Scientists have discovered a powerful new strain of fact-resistant humans who are threatening the ability of Earth to sustain life, a sobering new study reports.

“These humans appear to have all the faculties necessary to receive and process information,” Davis Logsdon, one of the scientists who contributed to the study, said. “And yet, somehow, they have developed defenses that, for all intents and purposes, have rendered those faculties totally inactive.”

While scientists have no clear understanding of the mechanisms that prevent the fact-resistant humans from absorbing data, they theorize that the strain may have developed the ability to intercept and discard information en route from the auditory nerve to the brain. “The normal functions of human consciousness have been completely nullified,” Logsdon said.

While reaffirming the gloomy assessments of the study, Logsdon held out hope that the threat of fact-resistant humans could be mitigated in the future. “Our research is very preliminary, but it’s possible that they will become more receptive to facts once they are in an environment without food, water, or oxygen,” he said.

I know it's supposed to be satire, but it is too sadly true; humans are on their way to extinction - or near extinction.

I'd have to agree that the New Yorker article isn't something I'm wanting to laugh at. If anything it gives a vibe that we're all in hot soup with the way our race manages each other. And, in spite of the article's cheeky stab at humanity's failure to learn real facts, it makes me wonder why any of us here continue to pursue genuine knowledge when the people on this planet are most likely going to self-destruct. It's an insane choice to think we can make a sane world. I guess the payoff is the betterment of our own and if anyone close to us will sincerely listen, then instill the value of truth in others if possible.

For the sake of maintaining humor here's a few of Georgie Carlin's:

"I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."

"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."

"The planet is fine. The people are fu**ed."

"I think I am, therefore, I am. I think."

"The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it."

 

[trendsetter37]

And, in spite of the article's cheeky stab at humanity's failure to learn real facts, it makes me wonder why any of us here continue to pursue genuine knowledge when the people on this planet are most likely going to self-destruct.

For balance possibly? That seems to be the way the universe works at all scales. Unfortunately, I think we are the little white dot on the black side of the yin yang symbol at this point and time.

 

[loreta]

And, in spite of the article's cheeky stab at humanity's failure to learn real facts, it makes me wonder why any of us here continue to pursue genuine knowledge when the people on this planet are most likely going to self-destruct.

For balance possibly? That seems to be the way the universe works at all scales. Unfortunately, I think we are the little white dot on the black side of the yin yang symbol at this point and time.

One good reason is maybe to keep our sanity. In this planet of craziness, and self-destruction, I refuse to follow the norms. We will die, anyway, but till than keep our sanity and our morale is extremely important.

 

[Psalehesost]

And, in spite of the article's cheeky stab at humanity's failure to learn real facts, it makes me wonder why any of us here continue to pursue genuine knowledge when the people on this planet are most likely going to self-destruct. It's an insane choice to think we can make a sane world. I guess the payoff is the betterment of our own and if anyone close to us will sincerely listen, then instill the value of truth in others if possible.

We can help one another, and we can honor truth and reality. ("Life is religion.") There's more to life and the Universe than the fate of our globalized civilization. It may be going down in flames, but there is still something of beauty in this world. We can be the change we would wish to see. And we may remain, and then be able to make a better future.