Observing People Dealing With Stress

KTC

KTC

Dagobah Resident
FOTCM Member
I was going to add this onto my other thread 'A Big Fat Conundrum With The Mob' but it's a bit off topic, although I am thinking that they are actually related in that I am observing people around me (and myself) deal with stress.

Today at my workplace which I own one of my student instructors/clients had a seizure. I'll share the whole story here partly because it is helpful for me to offload it and also because I am hoping to learn from it on my journey to understanding people better so that I can be of service to my community.

I teach a Pilates instructor certificate. It's a mentorship where students spend 6 months with me in studio learning to become a Pilates instructor. The learning is a mixture of weekend workshops, online modules, observation, self practice and shadow teaching.

Over the years Pilates has taken off (or the word is being used as a promotional tool) and some of my younger student teachers are always hungry to keep pushing the limits. If you looked up Pilates on Instagram or Youtube you will find ballerina type girls performing fancy looking choreography on a reformer ( a piece of Pilates equipment). It's not Pilates, it's exercise on a reformer, but it looks spectacular and it's taking the fitness World by storm.

On demand today I taught my staff and students an advanced Reformer class which is not something we do in our studio mostly because we have mostly catered to ppl with injuries, in pain or ppl who are looking to actually do Pilates and not just exercise on a reformer.

The class was hard (I had already practiced it at home) and towards the end a few of the girls were really struggling to perform the movements well, especially the balance challenges. It became more apparent to them as they fatigued just how dangerous these explosive reformer classes could be.

At the start of the class I had warned the girls that the class was an advanced level and advised students to modify any exercises they were unable to perform or simply learn from observing since this is one of the ways we teach teachers. Take into consideration that this group of instructor and trainees have been with me for a minimum of 6 months and are either already teaching or are getting ready to sit their exams so they know what they are capable of and how to modify for their own body.

I had a feeling that the attendees were expecting me to, at the end of the class tell them that we were going to be introducing this advanced choreography to our community but instead my discussion turned to the instructor understanding their duty of care to be teaching within the capabilities of the students they are teaching and how, since reformer studios have become so popular, the incidence of accidents, insurance claims and injury reports has apparently increased dramatically. I was expressing to the students just how important it is that they have their own public liability and indemnity insurance and that they need proficiency in first aid and a CPR certificate to teach... and that's when it happened...

One of my student teachers who has been with me for over 12 months dropped to the ground and had a seizure right there in the middle of the room. Seriously, it was like she dropped on cue as I was talking about insurance to cover yourself as an instructor from accidents that can happen in your class!!

The lady, Meg who seizured is a Physiotherapist. She's about 50 years old (maybe a couple years older than me) and has taken forever to complete her mentorship because life keeps getting in the way. Her mother and father passed away within 6 months of each other, she has a stressful job at the hospital and she just didn't 'get' the work in her body to complete the cert in the usual 6 months, which is fine, I generally work with students individual needs and Meg has been better suited to a clinical setting so she's been spending time w me in our Pilates clinic where we see ppl for injury rehab and pain management.

I've gotten to know Meg quite well as she shadows me in clinic and I can just see that she carries stress so it wasn't super surprising that she of all ppl might have some health considerations. Working in the allied health space I know for sure she also took 3 of the clot shots so I'm sometimes wondering if she could be a ticking time bomb anyways. During the advanced class she sat out a few of the harder exercises and at one point she left the room to get a drink of water which I thought was her taking a break as I suggested at the start of the class.

I did notice her standing taking some time out a couple of times and in hindsight my intuition was asking if she was okay but with 8 other ppl in the class I was teaching and only watching her from the corner of my eye. She was potentially feeling the pre effect of the seizure coming on, I'm not sure but I'm thinking most probably even if she didn't realise what it was.

She seizured for 2 minutes, her face turned grey, her lips were blue and her arms and legs were stiff and spastic. She was frothing at the mouth and her eyes were rolling. Two of the student teachers, one a veterinarian and one a doctors wife helped put Meg into recovery position and place cushions under her head as she was on a concrete floor while I rang emergency services to organise an ambulance. I was grateful to have them there to help and the veterinarian in particular was very calm which was so helpful.

For a second I couldn't for the life of me remember the number for emergency services and I asked one of the other students who is 17 years old 'what is the number I call from my phone? Lol I could only think 911 and that there was a different number in Australia but my mind was blank. As I was asking her I realised the look of shock and horror on her face and of a couple of other students around her, and I realised then that I needed to take control of the situation.

I called 000 (just in case you need it in future, yes you can call 000 from your mobile. I was thinking of the old 112 back in the day when mobile phones were first out) and went through a scenario of explaining the situation to the operator while she asked questions about breathing, consciousness, known medical history. Meg was breathing but it was laboured and gurgling and even after the 2 minute seizure she was in and out of consciousness for another few minutes and it certainly wasn't your every day Pilates class environment on a Saturday morning.

What really struck me was the way that the people on the scene reacted or responded.

Apart from the 2 women (the doctors wife and the veterinarian) who helped and subsequently stayed for a while (the ambos took over an hour to arrive and we are only a 15 min drive to the hospital), it fascinated me how different ppl respond in these situations.

As soon as I got off the phone to emergency services I asked the rest of the girls to leave so that when Meg came to she didn't have a bunch of ppl staring at her. The younger 17 - 25 yr old girls in particular were in real shock and hadn't moved from the spot they were standing huddled in.

One girl was busy tidying up the room, putting away props we had used, wiping down the equipment, keeping busy busy.

Another girl I asked to stand out on the street and await the ambulance to flag them down and she was happy to help for a while but said she had to leave soon and couldn't stay.

My receptionist was out the front serving a couple of customers unawares of what was going on in the reformer room. When the customers left I let her know the situation and she asked me if I had time to go over some reception tasks with her before she went. Maybe she didn't understand what I said to her so I repeated what happened and she was like "yeah I know but just before I go can I clarify somethings with you" which I thought was a bit odd and told her I would look at the cash report later and call her if I had questions so that I could help with the medical emergency.

Another staff member who, bless her had witnessed her other boss getting stabbed to death at the supermarket down the road only about 6 weeks ago immediately ran out of the room when the seizure happened. She was in a real state, almost silently screaming and running out as fast as she could. I rang her later and she said she felt like she was back at the murder scene watching someone she knows die. A reminder she seriously needs help but has been in denial.

Another staff member, the mum of one of the young girls I sent home was pretty helpful to start with. She seemed to be holding herself together and then at one stage as I was checking outside to see if the ambos were coming yet (we'd been waiting 30 min already) she pulled me aside to discuss her taking time off because life is hard right now and she isn't coping and might need some time off. All in between someone having a seizure, dealing with emergency operators, I thought it strange that she would want to discuss her needs now, like seriously? Maybe let's find another time?

I rummaged through Megs bag and found her phone so I could call her husband and when he answered and I explained to him what had happened his reply was "well I'm at the dogs (maybe that means dog races, I'm not sure) today so what do you want me to do?" ummm. like your wife just had a seizure, would you maybe consider coming to the studio since we've waited half an hour for the ambulance not to arrive already? No, he said he would go to the hospital later when he was done and meet her there?? I asked if Meg had seizures often and he said 'never to my knowledge' and it struck me that he didn't seem to care much at all, or maybe this is his way of dealing with a stressful situation, you can never know really.

Then once Meg was a bit more with it, still no ambos at about the 45 minute mark I asked if she had someone else she would like to call so she rang her sister who was woken up from an afternoon nap. And even as Meg relayed what had happened, the sister seemed pretty disinterested and a bit annoyed.
So, here we are with this lovely, kind and often sad looking lady who has just had a seizure (apparently she's never seizured before) and her own family are somewhat blase.

So here I am a few hours after the event, it happened at 1pm today and after all that the ambos did turn up an hour later and insist she go with them to hospital so I came home, went out wakeboarding to wash the experience off and then thought WTF just happened.. it made me feel heavy, down. like not the seizure. That is what it is, but the way that people around the event responded.

Some could help, some were calm, some freaked out, some got super needy themselves, some were downright uncaring and it left me wondering what are we in for when SRHTF? And are all these little mini events that happen in our lives ( I don't know about you but I seem to have some doosy challenges) preparing us mentally and spiritually to deal with bigger experiences? And if so, what will actually happen to these seemingly vulnerable, sometimes hopeless or even unaware people?

Are these things sent to me to help me grow or are they sent to me to distract me from growing? I'm not sure.

I realise that this is just life and different ppl deal with stressful situations differently. I went blank and couldn't remember 000 for a moment! And I also realise that this is my position as the boss to be the one who listens to everyone. I don't have a problem with that, I'm used to hearing what ppl need, being a sounding board for their work and life experiences but what I am observing is just how different ppl can be when it comes to dealing not just with stress but with every day life.

I am seeing that ppl are more and more susceptible to breaking emotionally. Or maybe I am more aware of it. More people seem to be suffering anxieties or outwardly expressing their stress.

I'm not the first to speak on here about it. I am certainly feeling the effects of all the crazy going on in the World and I wonder if it is being felt more and more by ppl. For me it's like the feeling of stress during Covid never left but it keeps morphing into varying degrees and flavours of the same but different.

Thanks for reading. Please contribute if you like. Gonna go enjoy one of Lauras meditations.
 
Your experience is very interesting, thank you for sharing it. I think it's representative of the times we live in, and as you show us, most people are narcissistic, only think of themselves and don't care about others. Only two women reacted humanely, out of about 10 people? Not counting the paramedics. These two women acted humanely and didn't panic. But it's because they were human that they didn't panic.

For those who panicked, of course, we can discuss the reasons and the difficulty some people have when faced with an extreme situation. Everyone reacts from within themselves, and most shirked the responsibility of helping others. Like spoiled children. Like irresponsible people.

This story is educational. It confronts us with a fact, calls us to action. What would we have done if we were in that classroom? Would we have been paralyzed by fear? Or by complete indifference?

Or, on the contrary, would we have reached out to the person who needed help? Stress isn't always negative. Sometimes stress pushes us to act, as in this case for the two women who went to the aid of the woman who had a seizure. This is another question we can ask ourselves: how can we deal with stress in extreme circumstances? How can we turn stress into help?
 
KTC said:
Je constate que les gens sont de plus en plus susceptibles de craquer émotionnellement. Ou peut-être en suis-je plus conscient. De plus en plus de gens semblent souffrir d'anxiété ou exprimer ouvertement leur stress.
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Your question haunts me daily. I get stressed over little things and feel emotionally limited. Philosophically I think I'm ready for what's coming (the wave, natural events, war) but emotionally I feel fragile. My intuition tells me that what makes me unstable is the gap between everyday life and what I know will happen. When I hear the word “survival”, light bulbs go off inside me, and my handbrake itches. The events to come will indeed decide between people. Ask yourself how you'll react if so-called normal life collapses. Do you feel the wind of freedom or the swirling void?
 
People in these situations react differently. The other day a woman fainted in the supermarket close to where I was walking by. People around her were frozen. I put her on her back and lifted the knees after seeing she was still breathing. All the while, people were still frozen. When I told them to call an ambulance, they looked at each other as if to say "you call". It ended well because some people came to help, especially an old woman who took her hands and started talking to her. But the overall reaction is apparently to freeze in place.
 
It does help to have some sort of training in resuscitation, then your body reacts automatically with trained maneuvers: secure the environment, assure help is on the way, vitals and/or security position. It gives you that extra confidence of knowing what to do to make the situation better. The trainings are so repetitive, that you don't even have to think about it, you just do it.

I remember a particular emergency when a person was choking at the dinner table. I immediately reacted as per reflex and did the Heimlich maneuver successfully. I was surprised no one around us noticed anything at all, they all kept chatting happily among themselves, unaware that there was an emergency taking place where a person at the table was struggling to breathe. I suppose that when you're trained, you're also extra aware.
 
This reminds me of the story about a plane crash. The plane is on fire and many people are frozen in place (normalcy bias kicked in) and make no moves to exit the aircraft.

I think it has a lot to do with neurology. The way the brain responds and the corresponding action or inaction.

I’ll tell ya, if I’m on burning airplane, I’ll be walking over peoples heads to reach the exit!

Thanks for sharing this KTC and so sorry you had to go thru this. A learning experience for sure! The responses of Meg’s family was truly disappointing.
 
Lilou said:
The responses of Meg’s family was truly disappointing.
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What's also disappointing is it took the ambulance an hour to get there for a person who was in medical distress. Wherever you live, I'm definitely not moving there. :-D

All In all, I'm sure it was very stressful for you. I've also had the brain freeze thing when I had to come up with something when put on the spot, even if normally I can rattle It off. How sad that the woman's husband and sister were so disinterested in her well-being. :-(
 
Lilou said:
This reminds me of the story about a plane crash. The plane is on fire and many people are frozen in place (normalcy bias kicked in) and make no moves to exit the aircraft.
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Was thinking about the same plane crash story which we probably both remember from Amanda Ripley's book:

The Unthinkable: Who Survives When Disaster Strikes--and Why​

And there's probably a thread on it somewhere as well. Anyway, I highly recommend the book. I think that in addition to normalcy bias, Western society as a whole is more dissociated, amygdala-highjacked and anesthetized to real world emergencies and crises - than its ever been.

One of the other points that the book makes is just to be as mentally prepared as possible for things going wrong. Like running mental drills about what the correct actions to take in given circumstances would be. 'The Readiness is all' said Shakespeare. 'Be Prepared' say the boyscouts.

Doesn't mean we need to be (nor should we be) in a constant state of anxiety - but a fairly high but manageable state of alertness/situational awareness/self observation is crucial if we're going to be of any help to others, or to ourselves in the event of an emergency.
 
Oh man, I'm in tears. I've had a friend with a seizure condition for the last 22 years. He died recently, I was there for many days with staff as he was deteriorating. In that location, a long term care home, there were men and women who were absolutely There with my friend and me. I still go to visit them as I admire and love them so much.

I haven't been around people in an emergency outside the usual with my friend but what I have seen many decades ago, there was someone in the street knocked down by a vehicle and it was cold. At least five of the few passersby, pretty much all of them, stopped, rushed to cover him with their coats, observe, stay, call ambulance. It was an instant coalition. I wonder if being outdoors made a difference? Maybe not. Overall, people in your studio may have learned to hand it over to you and back off? You're the authority? And if anything has strengthened post Covid, it is a yielding to authority for a lot of people, not all, obviously, but that kind of submission, even a rabid submission, got a boost.... That's one thing that comes to mind. Handing over responsibility.

What you've described is heartbreaking. So this degeneration of connection to the seizuring woman is shocking and it sounds like there'd be a back-story of some separation within her family and friends as a possible further result of polarization, setting families against each other. It makes me wonder if she took some stance that her associates couldn't accept though they couldn't actually end the relationship. It reads like an alienation drama, kind of like Waiting for Godot, by Samuel Beckett, or Guildenstern and Rosencrantz Are Dead by Tom Stoppard. Those plays are decades old. It seems the ground was already fertile for intuitive writers to write about dissasocation back to the 1950's and 60's.

Another piece of evidence, I was almost killed driving my car four times over two weeks, and was not killed because I was watching out, and I asked car repair guy if he'd seen driving had changed. He said yes, and people just don't pay attention anymore. Dr. Michael Nehls, writer of 'The Indoctrinated Brain', documented the effect of Covid and the vaccines on the hippocampus and amygdala, the damage that prevents memories forming. (He recommended Lithium orotate doses as that helps repair the hippocampus and it looks like his book is doing well on Amazon at least. My, memory of dreams was restored as well as being able to remember why I went into a certain room faster. I have been following a combo of Nehls protocol and Dr Klinhardt's protocols, Dr K. passed on Dr. Nehls research in his free webinars on Covid.)

Just an aside, Nehls just published a book Aprill 22, 2025, listed on Amazon. The description has this paragraph. After reading the sample on Amazon, Nehls has dug deeper into the role of the hippocampus, expanding on the 'frontal lobe brain battery'. It is fascinating reading!

Partial book description:

However, more and more people are waking up in a perpetual state of ego depletion: their mental energy source is not recharging—it is actually shrinking. We live in a chronically exhausted society with disastrous consequences for ourselves, society, and future generations. ..... In The Exhausted Brain, Dr. Michael Nehls uncovers the source of our mental energy. He reveals where our "brain battery" is located, what function it serves within our brain, and how we can stop and reverse the decline in its capacity—with profound consequences for our mental wellbeing and social capacity. In short, this book will change the world.
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The Exhausted Brain: The Origin of Our Mental Energy and Why It Dwindles by Michael Nehls MD PhD and Andy Jones Berasaluce | Apr 22 2025

So, for what it's worth, my 2 cents is that the results of more computer, wifi, mercury, aluminum, glyphosate, polarization, tyranny, spike protein, and the many things that deteriorate our ability to think are encapsulated in your recounting of the seizure episode. So much of this is wonderfully covered here on the Forum in the many discussion threads, too.

The Exhausted Brain. Hmmmm. I'm glad you wrote about this experience, KTC. I don't think I'd have found Nehls new book this quickly without it, for one thing. Our play reading group just read 'Waiting for Godot' yesterday, you get a big dose of dissociation and Exhausted Brain in that play. Interesting.
 
Lilou said:
This reminds me of the story about a plane crash. The plane is on fire and many people are frozen in place (normalcy bias kicked in) and make no moves to exit the aircraft.
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The normalcy bias didn't kick in with the Indian guy who survived the recent plane crash in India. I think it goes to show that different people react differently !

S

Post in thread 'Plane Crashes'

What is very unusual, in fact, almost unheard of is someone surviving, let alone literally walking away from this sort of crash?

Did people see the video of the survivor LITERALLY walking through the street towards the ambulance. He looked shaken up but pretty much OK.

How!?!?!?
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@KTC I think it is what it is. You just have to accept the experience and reflect on it. Perhaps the one thing to take from it is to listen to your intuition if you sense someone is struggling.

Perhaps the situation is also a good reminder to not expect people to act in a pre-determined way in an emergency situation. It comes down to the individual, their level of experience and emotional disposition I think. In such situations, it helps if one person takes charge and tells others what to do - I saw this once in action back when I was at university. We were in a lecture and the professor had a seizure, it was quite surreal and for a moment it seemed like time just stopped. One student who I came to learn volunteers in the territorial army kicked into action and ran towards the professor and was basically pointing at people and telling them what to do.
 
@KTC, what you observed is worse in western countries due to the relative lack of community based living. People grow up to be aloof, isolated and more individualistic therefore lack the muscle memory of simply jumping in to assist. I was in the bus few months ago and it had to break hard due to some idiot car pulling up in the front. A lady in front of me got thrown onto the iron bars and hit her head hard, crying out in pain. The bus driver stopped the bus and came over to check on her, worried about any insurance claims and passed over the head office number to call.

I got up and tended to the lady, helped her up and thankfully she wasn’t hurt that bad. I made sure that she knew where she was going, which stop she was getting off and if she needed any help. And, I looked around me and nobody moved from their seat. Most were busy on their smartphones and others just looked disinterested. I was surprised at first but not after, realising that peeps out there have been permanently damaged by modern education, screen time, overprotective culture and societal programming. They just don’t know what to do in such stressful situations. Its like asking a cat to drive a car, it can’t.

And that’s why we are seeing such mental breakdowns. People just don’t have the mental strength and emotional maturity to deal with stressful conditions. Multiple generarions are now lost. I expect to see suicides on the rise in the coming times, if not already.
 
Wow, what a thing to witness.

Knowing some things in advance of possible extreme situations is an advantage, having some understanding of the mechanisms of the world, being open to expect anything that might come, some medical awareness (CPR and other safety responses like DRABC etc)
Being emotionally prepared to respond to violence, accidents or unforeseeable situations is paramount in my opinion, but it doesn’t always change people’s automatic reactions.

I’ve been in a similar situation to KTC twice, the one fellow having a heart attack and the other was another man having a seizure, just as KTC described, everyone reacted differently. I did exactly what needed to be done for these people, remaining calm and offering them a supporting voice while the paramedics arrived. Yet so had everyone else working there been trained in the same as me way to respond, most people froze, one ran away screaming, some were on their phones .

I had to have an emergency c-section with my last baby. I cannot tell you how utterly impressed I was with the medical team of about 25 people that worked like the most well oiled machine, their exact, precise responses, each acting in their role to perfection. I went into physical shock instantly shaking uncontrollably but my brain was hyper alert, I saw the whole thing go down as if I was above it all watching a play, I was very intrigued. I’d prepared myself for this just in case, watching videos, reading, understanding the procedure and the medical team’s responses.
My partner on the other hand was a total basket case, his fear of death and being out of control of the situation was off the chart. The terror in his voice as he wailed, my gosh, here I am having a major surgery and he’s next to me screaming in absolute fear. I only had one free arm but was able to comfort him with it trying to soothe him that everything would be okay. I didn’t know that but I trusted the medical staff and the universe and was able to pray and release the unknown, even when the obstetrician said ‘your baby will be born very infected and will be taken immediately to the NICU’ I still did not panic. (Baby was born perfectly healthy just needed a little CPAP because she was in shock too, but no other intervention necessary)

So what I conclude is that there is a level of awareness of possible outcomes and preparatory actions made in advance help navigate, but individually, we don’t really know how we will react until we are put in situations.

I recall reading that in emergency situations that 10% of people will act appropriately and everyone else will either freeze, run and/or scream. I suppose that would have a lot to do with previous exposure to trauma and how it was handled, as well as knowledge, awareness and individual biology.
 
Yes, agreed. I realised pretty quickly that the ppl in the room needed personal direction. While I was busy on the phone to 000 I was thinking ‘okay everyone just do something, realise that if u can’t help u should leave’ but I had to wait to get off the phone to direct them and when I spoke to them it was like I snapped them out of their shock for a moment to help them move along.

I worked at a swimming pool and at the beach for years since a teenager as a lifeguard and I am grateful for the skills it gave me when dealing with first aid in general and also for the leadership qualities it taught me in these group situations.
 
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