Paleo wedding?

[Don Diego]

Well, something is bugging me now that I see Life on Earth with new eyes: How nuptial ceremony might be embodied in paleochristianity? Avoiding the ritual traps of course.
Maybe it seems futile by these days but I'll try to explain a bit why it torments me.

Next June 21 it will be 30 years that my wife and I had their first kiss,then 7 years later our first kid and a bit later his sister were born.Firstly my wife wanted absolutely bear the same name as the kids,secondly she had his childhood dream to marry in white.But the background of the situation was rather complicated because at this time I had attended at the least a thousand weddings,incredible but true:coming from a "dynasty" of photographs(greatgrandpa,grandpa,mother and me),every saturday afternoon since the age of 6 up to 25,while all my friends were having freedom and fun,I was helping or doing reports and group photos at city halls,churches and parks,sometimes 3 marriages on the bounce;and I was always thinking to myself:NEVER,never me in that Circus!As the family program was work,work,work 24hrs a day(3 stores an one lab to develop films at night),I had my turn to lead the business and after a huge Tax Adjustment caused by jealous members of family,I bankrupted pretty severely,lost all even what I haven't,mother eventually suicided at a later time.
So it was utterly out of the question for me to be involved in any kind of ceremony.My concubine have seen her dreams collapsed and was so hurt in her soul(apologies for my poor english because it's much more than that,can't find the words);seeing her sufferring,I eventually concented to a civil marriage, a five minutes jump at the city hall...

Now that we have grown up we feel the need to commit ourselves before Divine Cosmic Mind.

And as I can see there are many wise people around here,I would ask for any suggestion to fulfill the needs of those who want to build a true relationship between two(souled)loving fellows human beings.

Thanks in advance

 

[Chu]

It is a good idea, IMO!! It is never too late, and now you are doing it because it feels right. Very sorry to hear about your past, and your mother's suicide. That must have been very very hard to bear.

Well, I'm no expert, but I'd first ask:

What is it that for you both would be the ideal wedding?
How do you both visualize a symbolic gesture of your union that would send a message to the Universe of how committed you are to each other and the Aim?

I think it is different for each couple. You certainly don't need any of the "circus". You can have a simple but unique ceremony that would be wonderful.

Perhaps selecting a few quotes that would symbolize this commitment and read them aloud? It doesn't have to be something that would scare the people you invite, but most won't even realize, and you will be reading something that expresses truth rather than "circus" type speeches.

My 2 cents.

 

[Al Today]

I think there is a cool potential in this line of thought.
FOTCM is a Church and could do this legally, as in a new marriage? Yes?
What do the Elders think? I mean of having some ordained as clergy.?.?.?
Is this too much inline with STS? And as other organizations have experienced, the more people involved, the more potential for abuse. Forgive my thinking out loud, but I have to ask...

 

[Mrs.Tigersoap]

Hi Don Diego,

I think you are right to want to avoid the circus. I don't know how it goes where you are from, but in my country (Belgium), weddings are just ridiculous. You must invite people you've never met (auntie's uncle's cousins or whatever), the wedding dress costs about 2000 dollars, all rooms are booked for almost a year in advance, etc. And the family drama! Especially when parents are divorced, etc.
It's never really about two people caring, loving and wanting to share each other's lives.

I will think about what a Paleo wedding would be for me as far as the ceremony is concerned. In fact, I'm already married (although not the traditional Belgian way, thank DCM!), but I've been thinking about a Paleo wedding since FOTCM was created. I think it's only normal to want to get married according to your beliefs. So, if one day someone performs Paleo weddings, I'm already putting my name on the waiting list!

 

[rrraven]

how about a Paleo handfasting ?
I just had this flash of two hands crossed at the wrist ,each holding a yin/yang ball being tied first with a golden ribbon in a figure 8 patten
then with a blue silk scarf and then a darker blue silk scarf forming a 3D logo

Handfasting: An Ancient Irish Wedding Tradition

by Pat Friend

Handfasting is an ancient Celtic custom, especially common in Ireland and Scotland, in which a man and woman came together at the start of their marriage relationship. Their hands, or more accurately, their wrists, were literally tied together. This practice gave way to the expression "tying the knot" which has come to mean getting married or engaged.

The handfasting ritual recognized just one of many forms of marriages permitted under the ancient Irish (Brehon) law. The man and woman who came together for the handfasting agreed to stay together for a specific period of time, usually a year-and-a-day. At the end of the year the couple faced a choice. They could enter into a longer-term "permanent" marriage contract, renew their agreement for another year, or go their separate ways.

The custom hails from the pre-Christian era but continued after Christianity was well established because it was not ordinary for either the Church or government to play a role in witnessing marriages during this period. (Even though Marriage was one of the seven sacraments, it wasn't until the Council of Trent, which began in 1537, that the Church required that the Church witness marriages. Government registration of marriages in Ireland only began in the middle of the 19th century.)

It is important to understand the view of the Brehon Law on marriage to see the importance of handfasting. In an article entitled Marriage, Separation and Divorce in Ancient Gaelic Culture, Alix Morgan MacAnTsaior points out that marriage was seen as a contract intended to first protect the individual and property rights of the parties (and their families) and secondly to ensure that any children born of the union were properly recognized and cared for.

If the couple decided to separate at the end of the year (or at any other time) Brehon law specified how their property would be divided. More importantly, it established the recognition of the inheritance rights of any child conceived during the time of the handfasting union.

Lughnasadh, the August 1st Celtic festival, was one time of the year when handfastings often took place. These unions were known as "Teltown marriages" because men and women came together at the festival at Teltown, Co. Meath, often not knowing in advance who their partner would be. They remained together through the year and if necessary, parted company at the festival in following year.

Handfasting survives in several forms today. It is present in part in many Western religious and secular ceremonies as the celebrant asks, "Who gives this woman to be married?" The giving of the bride's hand to the groom is reminiscent of the handfasting ceremony. Handfasting is also the marriage rite practiced by pagan and Wiccan groups.

 

[Don Diego]

Thanks a lot Ailén for your inputs :) but I don't think it should be different for each couple.After all POTS is devoted to all who share the same approach of life within the framework of Paleochristianity.I was asking for an universal celebration as Laura has already "remastered" Noster Pater into Prayer of the Soul,why not apply this to any aspects of community events i.e. births,weddings,deaths and so on. ;)

I think there is a cool potential in this line of thought.
FOTCM is a Church and could do this legally, as in a new marriage? Yes?
What do the Elders think? I mean of having some ordained as clergy.?.?.?
Is this too much inline with STS? And as other organizations have experienced, the more people involved, the more potential for abuse. Forgive my thinking out loud, but I have to ask...

Al today,I must confess that,posting this,I had an idea in the back of my mind and you have perfectly defined it!But I really don't see in what ways a truly spiritual wedding would be inline STS(?.?.?)I'd rather think that celebrate his own birthday is STS,otherwise praying is STS,feeding is STS in brief, taking care of ourselves is STS
Secondly,Elders are not the clergy of FOTCM church?Maybe they weren't ordained,that I don't know.Churches and clergy are always linked,it's just semantics.You can't have one without the other.Along these lines Ads and Mods represent the"clergy"of this Forum,Druids the clergy of Celtism,Shamans the clergy of Paganism and so on...Nothing pejorative.The problem is that the word in itself is heavy loaded by past abuses,more particularly inquisition.
Moreover about organizations and potential for abuse,I've reread carefully the statements of principles and the Galahad's post about the fellowship(No I won't go for a long and boring exegesis)What's the problem with more people involved?The mere fact that the FOTCM website exist is proselytism,maybe passive proselytism,but proselytism anyway!
Concerning the potential abuses(which can occure from both parts,members or "clergy")basically the one who breaks the rules gets what he deserves i.e.he's banned.It's the core of clergy's activities.
As for me the more people are involved the faster changes will come,without active proselytism of course.

Hi Don Diego,

I think you are right to want to avoid the circus. I don't know how it goes where you are from, but in my country (Belgium), weddings are just ridiculous. You must invite people you've never met (auntie's uncle's cousins or whatever), the wedding dress costs about 2000 dollars, all rooms are booked for almost a year in advance, etc. And the family drama! Especially when parents are divorced, etc.
It's never really about two people caring, loving and wanting to share each other's lives.

I will think about what a Paleo wedding would be for me as far as the ceremony is concerned. In fact, I'm already married (although not the traditional Belgian way, thank DCM!), but I've been thinking about a Paleo wedding since FOTCM was created. I think it's only normal to want to get married according to your beliefs. So, if one day someone performs Paleo weddings, I'm already putting my name on the waiting list!

Very glad to see you had already thinking of this,but no need 2000 bucks to be dressed in white! ;)

how about a Paleo handfasting ?
I just had this flash of two hands crossed at the wrist ,each holding a yin/yang ball being tied first with a golden ribbon in a figure 8 patten
then with a blue silk scarf and then a darker blue silk scarf forming a 3D logo


I admit that since my last post I did some googling(stupid huh?!!)and it appears that more and more couples(homo or hetero)have recourse to druidics weddings,in white for the women,kilts for the men,especially in Brittany.Some are choosing Handfasting rituals,a little bit disturbing IMO!
In ancient times there were mostly collective weddings because it was celebrated one time a year on 1st August while main meetings between pubescent beings occured on 1st May or/and 21st June solstice day.

Anyway,Thanks to all for your interesting responses.