Pathological Narcissism in "Rock Stars"

[Initiate4004]

Hello and every blessing to everyone; I would like to ask what people's experiences have been, if any, in regard to the obscenely high level of personality disordered people in any given music scene. I don't mean to generalize, but from what I have lived through in the city where I live, there genuinely (and rather horrifyingly) seems to not be one single "musician", or should I say ersatz rock star that isn't a psychopath, albeit a highly socialized one. I was truly a "stranger in a strange land", an unwitting pawn in my then boyfriend's sinister game of attention seeking and creating chaos using the emotions of other people...and it was all ok with his friends. No kidding...they CONDONE psycho behavior, I guess it's a plus when you're in a cover band and are really untalented and boring. So my inquiry is, have any of you fine folk experienced the same BS? Because seriously, as a musician I am having difficulty imagining fashioning a place for myself among the soulless collective(s) in our town, which seem to be one's only choice...play their game, act like you are s*** and they are god...well you know the drill.
Don't get me wrong, I am a person who always believed in My Source Creator guiding and supporting my life, moreso after I lived a Hero's journey getting away from the evil; and as I mutate into lightbody and alchemically change within, the world shall reconfigure itself, I have faith in that. But I suppose what I am fishing for here is simply if anyone else has noticed that the evil personality disorder is prevalent in musicians; as are all the disorders in the paranoid/narcissitic spectrum, I just haven't found anything online specifically for people who have been abused by rock stars LOL LOL...and if any of you could direct me to a forum along those lines, I would very much appreciate it. Thanks for your time!

 

[PopHistorian]

Hi Initiate4004 -- as someone who was 20 years in a big-city original music scene, my personal suggestion, based on your post, would be to step back just a bit for a wider perspective by reading The Wave series (if you haven't), http://www.cassiopaea.org/cass/waveindex.htm -- and see where it takes you. I found it helped my perspective a lot. And what a fantastic read!

For something that speaks to your questions more directly, have you checked out these posts?
Notes on Psychopathy http://www.cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php?topic=2730
Narcissistic Personality Disorder: http://www.cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php?topic=2886

Forum-recommended books on psychology: http://www.cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php?topic=4718

 

[Initiate4004]

Oh Gosh.
Thank you, New Friend. Holy Cow. Sheesh. There is room for humor in the weight of this, Jeezum Jeepers, there had better be. So, you had an awakening kinda the same? Forgive me if I sound like an excited child; I felt so, so, so alone for a very long time. Indeed, I HAVE researched, researched and researched again LOADS in regard to what I observed and was subjected to, Kundalini, Twin Souls, Narcissism etc...but NOTHING like what the "Wave" series looks like it will assist me in. I LOVE these people, these musicians and erstwhile colleagues...no souls...?....no matter how badly I was hurt...and (sniff) hurt others doing my best in an impossible scene...BTW, this was a long time ago, I finally made the break from the madness way back in 'o5, after two years of what amounted to psychospiritual warfare...I shall read and post again. Thank you for your guidance...mainly, for using a great series of words that I needed: "To take a step back."
I thought I had, but could never, ALONE, get my head around, "Why?"
"Why??"
"Why can't I help them?"
"What are they feeding by scapegoating me and denying me basic joy?"
"What kind of people are these?"
"...and why was I there?"
"Why am I the ONLY ONE that was there that was normal...except for my twin?"
"How can I do what I am being asked to do?" (aside from what I learned perfectly from the Star Wars trilogy lol lol)
I now know better....by daily surrender, meditation and humility, and by giving the pain to the light. Does what I just wrote sound like something others have felt? Trust me, I am nowhere near as consumed with "Spiritual Significance" as I used to be, but it's hard to not feel that way when you know, you KNOW you are/were the one voice of cosmic sense in a sea of weird.
Thank you for the links, and it's nice to be here.

 

[anart]

Oh Gosh.
Thank you, New Friend. Holy Cow. Sheesh. There is room for humor in the weight of this, Jeezum Jeepers, there had better be. So, you had an awakening kinda the same? Forgive me if I sound like an excited child; I felt so, so, so alone for a very long time.

Most people here can relate to that. Until you understand the mechanism behind what you are observing and that you are not the only one 'not that way' - it can be quite lonely.

Indeed, I HAVE researched, researched and researched again LOADS in regard to what I observed and was subjected to, Kundalini, Twin Souls

Well, it may be that you're getting your information from disinformation sources. It sounds like you need to spend some serious time reading this forum and the Wave series - if you're sincere about getting a more objective understanding of what you have experienced. Searching the forum for terms like 'kundalini' and reading the Channel Watch Cointelpro section might also be a good start.

I thought I had, but could never, ALONE, get my head around, "Why?"
"Why??"
"Why can't I help them?"

Spend some time reading the Wave series and you might come up with an answer or two.

I now know better....by daily surrender, meditation and humility, and by giving the pain to the light. Does what I just wrote sound like something others have felt?

Well, as said, read the Wave series and spend some time reading the Channel Watch and (new age) Cointelpro section - it seems you've come to a few faulty conclusions and 'giving the pain to the light' might not be exactly what you think it is.

Trust me, I am nowhere near as consumed with "Spiritual Significance" as I used to be, but it's hard to not feel that way when you know, you KNOW you are/were the one voice of cosmic sense in a sea of weird.

It might be interesting for you to return to what you've written in this thread after you've done the recommended reading - things (and even you) might not be how you think they are. And, welcome!

 

[Initiate4004]

Thank you very, very much. Thank you for reaching out to me in friendship; I can see I am in the right place, with new friends, and I look forward to growing wiser under your encouragement and through these wonderful, exciting threads and revelations...what a great site! The really cool thing about awakening is the very act of discarding what you thought today for what became clear this minute, etc. The Wave series? Sweet Lawd! Yes, yes, yes and yes again, and I am only at Chapter 3...today I am onto four.
And by the way, I am real happy to consort online with other George Orwell fans. I won't pretend I am familiar with his ouevre (?) beyond 1984, but 1984 is THE book in my heart. Don't even know how many times I have read and reread it; it felt more than anything else like my soul remembered. Particularly the last time I read it post my "Dark night of the Soul", "....the nuclear bomb fell on Colchester"...someone very close to me in "Soul Connection" (as I understand it today, I know now all my perceptions are going to shift mightily and healthfully owing to the Casseopeia (?) material) is from Colchester in this life...oh, I dunno. I just know this ain't the first time I was here, and this is NOT the first time we fell in "love" in a dangerous time.
Lots more to read yet!

 

[mada85]

And by the way, I am real happy to consort online with other George Orwell fans. I won't pretend I am familiar with his ouevre (?) beyond 1984, but 1984 is THE book in my heart.

1984 is a work of genius, by a man who had an excellent understanding of the way totalitarian states operate, and it seems he also had some understanding of the PTB's plans for the world. Not least of which is an interactive telescreen in every home. I read it again last year, and realised that it can't be called a work of fiction - it is more like a warning, or a shock to help us awaken - perhaps it should be called a work of 'fact-ion', or even a work of objective art, as Gurdjieff would say. I read Animal Farm a long time ago, but it is 1984 that stays in the mind for a long time. Welcome to the forum!

 

[Initiate4004]

No kidding, hey? On my today copy of the book (I have had many), they describe it as "Satire", 1984! Satire! Just goes to show what different languages humans speak. "Satire" to my mind is "The Office", or Monty Python...I just always figured his soul was writing.
And bravo to the film for capturing it perfectly, I thought.