Poem

[Crystla24]

Well, I just recently took my first crack at poetry. I have always felt like an artist, but think too logically to create abstract, but admiring the art that is. I am a still life artist, if that even really counts. Anyway, I thought I would share. I was just winging it from the beginning and this is what happened. Maybe it will be a hole in the dike for me to fully open my creative flow eventually. Afterward, I read through this poem reflecting and had some serious realizations I would like to share...


Mirrors
Written by: Crystla24


You don't know where I've been
Or who I am now
When will you see
What I already saw

There is a place I go
To set my mind staright
Didn't even know
I am everything that I hate

Livin' under no one's law but my own
Creating my wall
This is my life, you won't break it down
You can't break me down

I build my own prison
Just to keep you out
Some break in, expose my weakness
Strengthen where I resist

Trapped
Cornered
No where else to go
No where else to hide
Lose your control
In place set mine

There is a place I go
To set my mind staright
Didn't even know
I am everything that I hate

You can't touch me now
But where am I?
Safe- Alone- Stranded
Proud

My barriers are not me
Use them with pride and vanity


There is a place I go
To set my mind staright
Didn't even know
I am everything that I hate

Sacrificed my own freedom
Blinded by the box that is my own ego
My box keeps me sfe and warm
From those who are out to do me harm
Keeps me from seeing the truth
For my own protection

Out of the box, over the wall
I am Truly free
Up above I look out into all
What do I see?
A concentration camp
Of mirror shells

No guards, only self projection
Angels await the days
For those who break free
To teach the ways
To build Infinity


There is a place I go
To set my mind staright
Didn't even know
I am everything that I hated

No more fear to go where I please
'Cause now I know that you are only me
looking at your own reflection
Now I can Truly Choose who I want to Be
No more illusion, no more "protection"
When you look into me
You will see, that you are a beautiful mystery


Okay, now after my own analyses; I was thinking about mirrors and how I had been decieved my my ego and I got to thinking... it is all still mirrors! Just morphed into telling me what I want to hear, what I want to believe! And everything that Anart told me came through to me:

Yes I had already read the threads and they talk about people's personnal reviews of the first book and movie. Apparently there are two other sequels that I know of, the one I'm reading being one of them. I have not read the first book, but have read the book I am reading referencing back to it. The first book does sound a little bit odd combining fiction with what may be non-fiction. This Experiential Guide I am reading is quite straightforward and from what I can tell to be true in my experiences. It is a little love/ lighty, but it also touches on dangers that one should look out for. It is a little "create your own reality"ish, but in a better sense of using Will and not just wishful thinking.

Maybe we are activating impressions and actually becoming more aware of our surroundings and reality. Or using our surroundings to open ourselves to more. With practice, active immpressions can start manifesting at a more rapid rate to where you start looking at reality as a whole quite differently. I think maybe some of the parables we come across and possibly (I've been wanting to study more on this) how the tarot works to a degree. Because we ending up seeing what we need to see to answer our deep questions. I have yet to figure whether these things are manifesting from a deep sub-conscious level or actually the/a higher self possibly. These are MY experiences and still have much picking apart of them to do...

Just realize that what you are describing can also be illusion - just because you are becoming aware of things does not make them true. It is a basic tenet of the 4th Way Work that impressions are food - it is elementary. The point I'm trying to make to you is that a person can be wholly lost in illusion that feeds their personal comfort and truly and honestly think they are seeing reality and opening up to aspects of the Universe that were 'hidden' before. It happens all the time and it is all a lie - and illusion - and a dream of being more awake. When a person relies so heavily on their own impressions and takes them as truth merely because they are their own impressions, they are lost.

I cannot stress this enough. You have a tendency, Crystla24, to take what you think first and foremost as truth and to put the input you get from others on a shelf as 'maybe - but they don't understand what I'm saying or what I see/think/experience' - this, while very, very common, is also unfortunate because you are blocking yourself from a deeper understanding.

You will continue to do that until you don't - nothing anyone can do about it, but please understand that until you learn to develop discernment (and this is always a painful process because sacred cows must be put to rest) that you will not be able to tell illusion from truth and illusion always initially 'feels better and more real' than truth - it is part of the human condition that this is so. fwiw.

Have you had much time to read through the Channel Watch and New Age Cointelpro section of the forum yet? It sounds like you like this book because it reflects your current level of understanding - that's not unusual at all. It might really benefit you to look into the difference between objective information and information that feeds illusion and comfort - this way you can begin to develop a level of discernment that will help you enormously in the future. fwiw.

I wanted to be upset that no one warned me how upsetting this is, but indeed Anart even warned me, lol. I have many thanks to you! It seems to me a defensive mechanism of my shadow. Where do I even go from here? Lol, I decided that I am calling in sick to the Work today!

 

[Ðekel]

What a Beautiful Beautiful Beautiful poem and experience !!

Thanks for sharing this with everyone.

:)

 

[Crystla24]

Thank you very much for that transientP. I have a really hard time expressing deep feelings and I kind of went out on a limb sharing with everyone as far as opening up my inner emotions. I have this forum to thank for helping me see what a prisoner I really have been and at my very own hand! So I seen it fitting to share what everyone here has done for me.
I had got to thinking and feeling that I was "really on to something" and trying to explain what it was I was feeling, but I think I was becoming neurotic while feeding my ego in a different way. I hope any "advice" I gave to people didn't lead anyone into the same trap I fell into. Realizing this, I have a lot more to work on. After Anart's advice really hit deep (even in retrospect), I was taken aback at first, but now my head is feeling clearer and my perspectives are still open. So maybe I can really start to see the big picture from a clearer "I" and know that the battle's not over, if it ever will be. I feel a lot better :) I would like to pursue more shadow conversation with this, but I just need to take a break for a little while before I jump back into it full throttle. I need to sort all the crap/lies i've been telling myself before I feel I can have much more to offer at this point. So with that, I am taking a short vacation from the Work ;) I will still be around and just try to take advantage of the different things that this site has to offer in the meantime.

 

[Ðekel]

Good luck Crystla24 !

keep writing; i get a feeling your writing style is auto-therapeutic.

:)