Question about charitable acts

[vinceb54]

In my normal daily travels/errands, if I see someone on the median or outside a gas station, I like to donate about $5. In fact, I try to keep some cash on me in small bills just for these purposes. I like to simply do this as the opportunities present themselves. In other words, I do not drive around all day looking for people to help. I do this partially because a few years ago I had no job and little money, lived in my vehicle, and relied on such sources for gas money etc. While I'm not rich now by any means, I feel that now that I am in a better position that I should reciprocate the charity I was given previously. I average 1 or 2 of these per week.

Before I ask my question, I will add that I understand it is best to give not expecting any future benefit and to give with no strings attached.

For example, today I went to Denny's by myself for lunch. When I was leaving, I saw a man on the median flying a sign. So, I walked over and gave him the extra $4 in my wallet and tried to brighten his day a bit.

On my way home, I would be lying if I stated here that I did not briefly hope that my small action would not either come back around, bring good karma, boost my polarity, etc. I try not to dwell on such thoughts, but I fail to see how this is possible to avoid. I'm wondering how much I should strive to not do this?

Second, it is my personal preference to give to someone that I personally know, if possible. I am curious as to your thoughts of whether or not knowing the person matters or not?

Let's say you go to a gas station, and two people are panhandling. You are friends with one and have never seen the other. You have a $5 bill and can't get change. Who do you donate to? How much do you think it matters?

While I'm on this topic, it's my personal preference to help a person directly. I don't generally donate to charities or drop off extra clothes to goodwill because I *think* it's best (most of the time) to give it directly to someone who needs it. It's kinda "faster", more "efficient", and has a personal touch that a non-profit organization does not have. I'm curious if you agree with my philosophy?

One last thing, and this is strictly my opinion, but I do not agree with people who claim that giving money to homeless people is enabling them to consume alcohol/drugs. Yes, many homeless people do these things, but your small donation is not going to sway them one way or the other, and you are still shining a bit of light into their day by adding a kind word with your money. If you insist upon this belief, then I would encourage you to ask the person what they need and try to accommodate if reasonable. However, I do believe that all spiritual material (that I've read) agrees that it's ideal to give and then consider it out of your hands.

For this reason, when I give money, I usually say something like "hey man, I know it's not easy out here because I used to live in my car, so here's a little something. Use it on whatever you want!"

 

[whitecoast]

On my way home, I would be lying if I stated here that I did not briefly hope that my small action would not either come back around, bring good karma, boost my polarity, etc. I try not to dwell on such thoughts, but I fail to see how this is possible to avoid. I'm wondering how much I should strive to not do this?

Hey Vince. I think in principle there is nothing wrong with giving to those who ask without attachment to the outcome. I think that is a hallmark of STO candidacy.

You mentioned a good deal of backstory about living through times of deprivation. One curiosity I have is if you aware to what extent your charitable actions are motivated by empathic concern and how much is motivated by projection (i.e. unconsciously seeing yourself or a younger version of yourself in the other person and helping them as a way of unconsciously helping your younger, struggling self). Another thing to look out for is validation, i.e doing it to be seen as a certain way by the recipient of your charity.

Let's say you go to a gas station, and two people are panhandling. You are friends with one and have never seen the other. You have a $5 bill and can't get change. Who do you donate to? How much do you think it matters?

I think that ultimately comes down to the question, what relationship do you want with those people? What needs of yours are being met by having them or this interaction in your life, and vice versa? Even if the need on your end is just “contribution” or “paying it forward.”

For your aside about drugs. Every Christmas my sister, nephew, and I buy hamburgers, hot chocolate, and cigarettes for the homeless and addicted population in her town. most people like the food and drink but really appreciate the cigarettes since we give them two. That lets them save one for later, to give to a friend, or to trade for something else, which gives them a little more autonomy and agency. Even if it’s seen as a vice, they are all human too, and deserve to do what they can to feel better given the lack of support they receive elsewhere in other areas. Some are appreciative and some don’t look at us twice after, and that’s fine by us, because it’s not about us receiving validation from them for being charitable or whatever.

I remember an interaction an acquaintance of mine had with some homeless that really annoyed me. Basically two guys asked him, going into a 7-11, to buy them a pack of cigarettes. He said he wouldn’t because he didn’t want to encourage their bad habits, but he would buy them some food. So they went in and got a huge stack of food, for which my acquaintance then scolded and admonished them for “taking advantage” and then got a lot more specific and particular (eg bag of chips or sandwich this size but not that size). On the whole it was a very acrimonious interaction because of how much this allegedly charitable acquaintance of mine was condescendingly determining the needs of others a putting them through a rather humiliating and paternalistic ordeal… just so he could feel good about himself. Anyway, rant over.

 

[furryfrog]

Sounds like your being charitable because of empathy, you yourself have been in difficult times, your coming from a place of understanding, STO.

On my way home, I would be lying if I stated here that I did not briefly hope that my small action would not either come back around, bring good karma, boost my polarity, etc. I try not to dwell on such thoughts, but I fail to see how this is possible to avoid. I'm wondering how much I should strive to not do this?

I would suggest striving to not dwell on those thoughts you have, remain in the present and practice not let your lower intellectual center run your consciousness. It may help to focus your attention on another center like your body, and consciously breathing will also help.

Second, it is my personal preference to give to someone that I personally know, if possible. I am curious as to your thoughts of whether or not knowing the person matters or not?

Let's say you go to a gas station, and two people are panhandling. You are friends with one and have never seen the other. You have a $5 bill and can't get change. Who do you donate to? How much do you think it matters?

I don't think it matters too much if you prefer to give to someone you know. The scenario you outlined, it would make sense to give the money to the person you know and are friends with.

 

[jacygirl]

In my normal daily travels/errands, if I see someone on the median or outside a gas station, I like to donate about $5. In fact, I try to keep some cash on me in small bills just for these purposes. I like to simply do this as the opportunities present themselves. In other words, I do not drive around all day looking for people to help. I do this partially because a few years ago I had no job and little money, lived in my vehicle, and relied on such sources for gas money etc. While I'm not rich now by any means, I feel that now that I am in a better position that I should reciprocate the charity I was given previously. I average 1 or 2 of these per week.

Before I ask my question, I will add that I understand it is best to give not expecting any future benefit and to give with no strings attached.

For example, today I went to Denny's by myself for lunch. When I was leaving, I saw a man on the median flying a sign. So, I walked over and gave him the extra $4 in my wallet and tried to brighten his day a bit.

On my way home, I would be lying if I stated here that I did not briefly hope that my small action would not either come back around, bring good karma, boost my polarity, etc. I try not to dwell on such thoughts, but I fail to see how this is possible to avoid. I'm wondering how much I should strive to not do this?

Second, it is my personal preference to give to someone that I personally know, if possible. I am curious as to your thoughts of whether or not knowing the person matters or not?

Let's say you go to a gas station, and two people are panhandling. You are friends with one and have never seen the other. You have a $5 bill and can't get change. Who do you donate to? How much do you think it matters?

While I'm on this topic, it's my personal preference to help a person directly. I don't generally donate to charities or drop off extra clothes to goodwill because I *think* it's best (most of the time) to give it directly to someone who needs it. It's kinda "faster", more "efficient", and has a personal touch that a non-profit organization does not have. I'm curious if you agree with my philosophy?

One last thing, and this is strictly my opinion, but I do not agree with people who claim that giving money to homeless people is enabling them to consume alcohol/drugs. Yes, many homeless people do these things, but your small donation is not going to sway them one way or the other, and you are still shining a bit of light into their day by adding a kind word with your money. If you insist upon this belief, then I would encourage you to ask the person what they need and try to accommodate if reasonable. However, I do believe that all spiritual material (that I've read) agrees that it's ideal to give and then consider it out of your hands.

For this reason, when I give money, I usually say something like "hey man, I know it's not easy out here because I used to live in my car, so here's a little something. Use it on whatever you want!"

Hi vinceb54. I have been searching for a video/interview to post, but I can't find the one with the sentence I am looking for. It's from the recent 15th anniversary/reunion of the 'Miracle on the Hudson' pilot Capt. Sullenberger. I watched this interview on TV, and burst into tears when he said this: "I believe we have an obligation to each other." (Oh Sully, me too...me too)
The survivors call him a hero and they are forever grateful to him for saving all lives on the plane.

For me personally, I've always given to anyone who needed it. Family, friends, strangers, beggars. It's not for me to decide how they spend it, they know what they need and I don't. I just know how humiliating it is to be in need and not have people willing to help you. I'm not judging anyone...I haven't walked in their shoes. If you have the courage to ask, and the will to keep living...you deserve a helping hand (or many).

I never considered if my way of thinking was in any way selfish because I know me. My attitude is to treat everyone I meet like an old friend. To never be just another asshat in their day/life. To maybe be the only good thing that happens to them that day. To hopefully leave them feeling a little bit better than I found them. Do I feel good about myself after? Actually no, I'm usually too busy wondering if they are ok and could I have done more.

When I was younger, before finding Laura, the C's or this site (pre-internet, lol)...I was still this same way. Back then I always considered the 'what ifs'. What if that homeless person is Jesus, or God, or Buddha...in disguise...?? (What if God was one of us, lol...song I posted yesterday) At the very least back then, I knew if God sees all/knows all, then God knows my heart and sees my actions...and hopefully approves. NOT because I'm afraid of going to Hell, or trying to get into Heaven...but because I believe we have an obligation to each other.

Many people live rather selfish lives all year, but then in the 'spirit of Christmas' (what IS that exactly??)...they drop $20 in the Salvation Army donation bowl and feel satisfied that they're good people. To me, that is minimal effort...a token really...and it makes them feel like they've done their good deed for the year. (STS much, eh?)

I guess what I'm trying to say is, the choice is yours. But if you give, don't analyze it...just do it (bah, do I owe Nike royalties for using their slogan?). Do it and let it go. (Karma can be like love, hehe...if you set it free it just might come back to you. But that shouldn't be your motive...but if it is, that's ok too.)

 

[Wandering Star]

It depends on the country in this matter.

In my country the people who ask are professionals.

The best places are controlled by a kind of mafia.

I have seen him in a late model Mercedes, leaving women in the areas where they ask for help.

On the other hand, people without resources have a free card to go to a place where they give them free food, as well as a food bank where they give them free food.

In addition, there are also free accommodations to sleep in.

Almost everyone has a pension or monthly payment which has helped them get social services.

In short, it is very difficult to know if someone asks because they need it or is part of drugs or alcohol.

In my country, you will definitely make fewer mistakes if you do not give.

 

[seek10]

I used to visit convenient store near me before I go to office and hang out for a smoke. Well, some guy started talking to me about usual stuff and soon he started asking money telling all sorts of 'needy' stories. I gave once and stopped going there.

It is sad, but begging lot more common in US now a days than 25 years back. It feels good to give and creates conflict when we don't give (which is normal). If we see the same person begging again, we are forced to reevaluate our opinion which happened few times for me.

There is 80/20 rule in companies - often called pareto curve. 20% does the work, 80% reaps the benefit. I think It is same for beggars too. It is hard to know who is really in need and who is not. Not a scientific theory that works for ever, in every "boundary" condition. some pattern seems to be fitting in every walk of life. How to explain this phenomenon. 50% OP's and the failed OP's (Aka psychopath's) ruling every body in the processing corrupting the souled normies. We get few sets of news related to beggars.

- That generosity changed person for better. This feel good stuff promoted widely and some times this story line goes to news papers and may be on to silver screen in some countries.
- Organized begging - there is Lot of suffering to the beggars in this line. It is like Mafia
- There are some solo , who becomes rich. Because it is more rewarding, they continue to do. In this is it is more like choice.
- Most are still poor, but they continue to beg to feed their addictions. This one is also choice.

How to know who is in the need? Well, no easy answer without more observation on each case.