cubbex
The Living Force
Ok, this is quite personal. Naturally I see common problems require patience and common solutions. But things are getting heated here, literally my body heats a lot sometimes. So I would be thankful if in the next session, after you've asked all of the important questions, well just ask these.
Recently my normal human life has gone wrong since beginning of 2013. Bad experience after bad experience, and the responsible is myself like 99%, and it's funny because I don't see it as negative experiences, just needed shocks.
Since meditation was my bet, I began to have all types of ideas, and plans, and some fantastical realizations, so on, so on. Things kept going wrong in my "human life", and I said human, because based on modern assumptions on what life should be, my life was going wrong but my consciousness growing. I tried other ways to ease the struggle but they didn't work too well (cannot talk about them, rules of the forum). But then I began to have faith in this project, in fact, I was able to learn what faith really means. I just wanted to work on it, and things went half nice half bad. 2013 and 2014 I suffered a lot from sleep paralysis, and I bet some abductions. But since I began to work on this my learning curve has received one potent burst! I have learned concepts by following the method of this project so fast, seriously, I mean concepts which require books to understand I just did it like in a few minutes of observation !
In a sense, I have committed myself to learn what truly STO means and all that this forum promotes at 100% so in part, things began to get weirder again since I thought I could use whatever comes from this project with the group, once I may finish it (which requires tons of time for sure).
So, the strange ocurrences began to happen again. Sleep paralysis in dreams where I was persecuted and abducted, not by aliens, but by the military! I still know this can be my body telling me something and not a 100% interference. Is also the amount of synchronicities and coincidences, the strange instinctively feeling of a dark presence comming to stop what I am doing, is like everything works in motion to put pressure on me, all the while another voice in my heart keeps telling me "WORK WORK WORK!!" Good lord Laura has shared what indeed is "supreme" knowledge, which nothing has been of so much help than that on the wave. I know what happens whenever a new "New age" nonsense is tried to be created with the purpose of distraction. All those cute feelings of being speshul and so on so on, but contrary to that, no experience points to that direction (which might be an intelligent strategy now that the other method was exposed, which is, make it look darker so the opposite belief is suggested). Constant suicidal acts and thoughts for example.
These coincidences has been mostly sort of... assistance to learn concepts. I have seen things out of serendipity, I know my limits and am sure some of these basic concepts I could have never had the chance to understand them. All the while, it appears this has already been know, its all about taking it to consciousness.
So I tried to stop learning things from this perspective for fear. I tried to work things from the "alchemical" or the "work" perspective, and I still learn things but slower. But then I try to think based on the ideas of this project (or idea or experiment, whatever ends up to be) and things speed up a lot. So these reasons have impulsed me to learn and keep a constant input of knowledge, just in case.
Right know I am focusing on practical knowledge to stabilize my life, people are just going too dramatic and too blind to waste my energy on them. The capacity I have obtained to observe in such a natural way the illusions of others, their errors, their cracks and assumptions makes me totally fear I am between a bunch of madmen. One ability I sort of obtained is that I sort of can smell other's feelings, sort of, almost taste them. This helps me to understand them.
So the questions are as follow:
Is all of this my paranoid imagination? or is there an important danger I should be aware of? or both?
Thing is, for the PTB might be so easy to just push some buttons and see what happens. But what I am aiming to accomplish is not that big or relevant in comparison to what SOTT does, actually one of the reasons to finish it is to support the network at the fullest, got the sensation it may be of help (just in case). Which is why I want to know if I just calm down or I really keep on my toes?
Thanks.
Recently my normal human life has gone wrong since beginning of 2013. Bad experience after bad experience, and the responsible is myself like 99%, and it's funny because I don't see it as negative experiences, just needed shocks.
Since meditation was my bet, I began to have all types of ideas, and plans, and some fantastical realizations, so on, so on. Things kept going wrong in my "human life", and I said human, because based on modern assumptions on what life should be, my life was going wrong but my consciousness growing. I tried other ways to ease the struggle but they didn't work too well (cannot talk about them, rules of the forum). But then I began to have faith in this project, in fact, I was able to learn what faith really means. I just wanted to work on it, and things went half nice half bad. 2013 and 2014 I suffered a lot from sleep paralysis, and I bet some abductions. But since I began to work on this my learning curve has received one potent burst! I have learned concepts by following the method of this project so fast, seriously, I mean concepts which require books to understand I just did it like in a few minutes of observation !
In a sense, I have committed myself to learn what truly STO means and all that this forum promotes at 100% so in part, things began to get weirder again since I thought I could use whatever comes from this project with the group, once I may finish it (which requires tons of time for sure).
So, the strange ocurrences began to happen again. Sleep paralysis in dreams where I was persecuted and abducted, not by aliens, but by the military! I still know this can be my body telling me something and not a 100% interference. Is also the amount of synchronicities and coincidences, the strange instinctively feeling of a dark presence comming to stop what I am doing, is like everything works in motion to put pressure on me, all the while another voice in my heart keeps telling me "WORK WORK WORK!!" Good lord Laura has shared what indeed is "supreme" knowledge, which nothing has been of so much help than that on the wave. I know what happens whenever a new "New age" nonsense is tried to be created with the purpose of distraction. All those cute feelings of being speshul and so on so on, but contrary to that, no experience points to that direction (which might be an intelligent strategy now that the other method was exposed, which is, make it look darker so the opposite belief is suggested). Constant suicidal acts and thoughts for example.
These coincidences has been mostly sort of... assistance to learn concepts. I have seen things out of serendipity, I know my limits and am sure some of these basic concepts I could have never had the chance to understand them. All the while, it appears this has already been know, its all about taking it to consciousness.
So I tried to stop learning things from this perspective for fear. I tried to work things from the "alchemical" or the "work" perspective, and I still learn things but slower. But then I try to think based on the ideas of this project (or idea or experiment, whatever ends up to be) and things speed up a lot. So these reasons have impulsed me to learn and keep a constant input of knowledge, just in case.
Right know I am focusing on practical knowledge to stabilize my life, people are just going too dramatic and too blind to waste my energy on them. The capacity I have obtained to observe in such a natural way the illusions of others, their errors, their cracks and assumptions makes me totally fear I am between a bunch of madmen. One ability I sort of obtained is that I sort of can smell other's feelings, sort of, almost taste them. This helps me to understand them.
So the questions are as follow:
Is all of this my paranoid imagination? or is there an important danger I should be aware of? or both?
Thing is, for the PTB might be so easy to just push some buttons and see what happens. But what I am aiming to accomplish is not that big or relevant in comparison to what SOTT does, actually one of the reasons to finish it is to support the network at the fullest, got the sensation it may be of help (just in case). Which is why I want to know if I just calm down or I really keep on my toes?
Thanks.
