remolecularization story

note: nothing in this thread is advice, i am sharing some brief and seemingly unrelated pieces because i think one thing led to the next, ask anything but for your own good don't be nosy!!

so one day i began to be intrigued about the mainstream genetics of psycopathy, specifically about "scientists" infatuation with the oxytocin receptor and some very picky traits they chose to compare human beings, comparisons which are full of contradictions to say the least

did some experiments that at the time were enough to leave me depressed, to be clear one doesn't make "connections to the field" and gets enlightened, it seemed quite the opposite, like an addiction to AUTOMATED senses
and this much is scary, i consider myself an average person but on these days i was limitless, full access to the mind, also my sense of location which always sucked was like a GPS suddenly, could walk to somewhere i never went to before even thinking

the very first times i could almost visualize a colorful grid connecting everyone, it was so beautiful i legit cried.
though this induced experience developed a tolerance fast and made me look elsewhere

so i was back to my normal self with more questions than i began and more depressed, tried making changes like moving, new relationships but something made me look into antidepressants for the first time in my mid 20s and this crashed me hard in just a couple doses, i developed syndromes that persist to this day years later, symptoms too much to list
during my search for a cure i met several people that couldn't bear it, RIP.

that's a year or so later when psychedelics became appealing, as some people on research forums including those from medical fields were getting temporary/partial relief from it i thought why the hell not, and then i tried but it was not quite the real thing, felt like a bandaid on an exposed fracture

then i tried a method which i've not seen many people do, and that gave me exactly 1 hour fully on "hyperspace", well that almost made me feel real again, for a couple days...

this led me to repeat it half a dozen times, until one time after reading a book by the only doctor with research permission on this field(also a jew and believer) i decided to mix some things, that's when things went south as i lost consciousness(was separated from the body)

and there i was watching my duplicate being inflicted with imprint(like a trauma for the unaware) just the act of observing my body in this state was nerve wrecking, and who am i in the end if this guy is over there? holy crap

well, this was obviously a bilocation thing but intensity of this "separation" was so high it felt endless, this moment came to haunt me many times...now looking back i feel blessed that i was aware which enabled me to overcome some of it at least

then another strange thing happened, bilocation again, i was there facing my other body and then i wasn't, and for a split second i was hearing this sound from there(similar to the sound you can read about on "missing 911" which i am not sure is a good idea to reproduce)
then lying on the ground was my body, making this sound, over the body was a magnetic field source used for remolecularization(check transcripts)

there i entered my body with a rage instantly standing up and throwing things around, for a moment i felt like a monster and got close to doing bad things.
 
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