Reported to social services (child protective services) again

[Gwenllian]

Hi, I have been reported to social services (SS) again. This is the third time in five years. My kids do not go to school, are homeschooled in fact, so lots of people often jump to all kinds of conclusions.
Today I was working through some issues with somebody who took advantage of my trust, albeit naive. And then the letter arrived from SS. They cannot leave me alone.
I was pretty upset at first, but could talk to my friend who is a solicitor in family law. Normally she is very busy and is not always available, so I think that the universe helped me a bit there. :)

The way SS work is indicative of our times, I would say. I am guilty until proven otherwise and they do not search for the truth. I am a perpetrator no matter what. Neighbours are encouraged to rat on each other and SS are eager to receive their calls, even if the neighbours do not have a clue or are just trying to take revenge.

I rang our homoeopath to let her know what was going on and then I heard that her husband had just passed on. Puts everything in perspective, doesn't it.

I will do some pipe breathing tonight. The diet is going pretty good, no nasty symptoms so far.
The stronger I get, the more attacks? I had a premonition that this would happen. Just like the burglary that happened a few weeks ago.
Weird how stuff goes, I was just reviewing my parenting skills and style and have made some important changes.
I am a bit shocked, but okay. Thanks for listening.

 

[SeekinTruth]

I'm sorry to hear that, Mariama. The extra pipe breathing should help you with the stress. Yes, these authoritarian organizations is another Sign of the Times. Keep us updated with what happens.

 

[Chopper]

Heres hopeing you come out the other side unscathed !

You got em peged the- "SS" anything outside of thier believe system is wrong as "thay" see it no room for open minds & you can bet thay don't like anyone other than themselves haveing control of your children mindes ( after all thats thier job & how can thay rule the world without it lol )...... certinly don't want the any knowladgeable parents haveing control thats for shure !

All the best for you in this endever & for your childrens welfare.........

Needless to say that there is NO edcutation in todays schools only mindless clicking & confusion to keep all off balanced , it's not all teachers fault either mainly the system ! teachers were tought also ;)....very sad indeed.

 

[Laura]

Just a note that if you plan to live your life in alternative ways, you have to make darn sure that you cross all your legal Ts and dot the Is.

The burglary and now this suggest, in symbolic terms, that you may have someone close to you who is, shall we say, a "portal of attack." When that happened to me, it was followed by a dream that my ex was not able to protect me and the kids. I didn't like facing that, but it was true. I had to take charge of closing the portals of attack which meant that I had to stop sleeping with the enemy, so to say.

 

[Gwenllian]

Thank you for your empathy!

SeekinTruth, I will definitely keep you all updated.
For now I have decided (together with my lawyer friend) not to cooperate. Nothing much has changed since their last investigation.
My lawyer will deal with them right now. I have not even spoken to the three (!) civil servants that are involved in our case, nor do I intend to. From now on I will only communicate in writing.

I think you are right, Chopper. They do not like homeschooling and do not wish to learn about its benefits. They do not like the fact that there is no supervision, as they put it. No control is what they mean.

Laura, I am not excluding the possibility of my partner being a portal of attack. But that doesn't explain the first time when I was reported to SS, because I hadn't met him yet. Before then I had to appear in criminal court four times (twice in appeal), which I talked about in another thread. All related to homeschooling.
I could well be my own portal of attack. I think what I am learning here is to stand my ground, never let my guard down and not be afraid. And not trust others with my stuff that I can do better.
I also had a lot of problems with my neighbours and we had to move once. Again this was before I had met my partner. I was a single mum for a very long time and I am used to being the protector. What I should do now, is claim that role wholeheartedly again and I shouldn't rely on my partner as a saviour, which I have done until now in some ways.

I have attracted the wrath of my next-door neighbour's son. I have suspected trouble arriving from his side, but I am not sure.

I hear you when I have to cross the legal T's and dot the I's. But this is getting increasingly harder. So many (new) laws and regulations that I know nothing about. It is untenable.
Relatively speaking, we have the highest number of civil servants in the world over here. Everything or almost everything has been regulated.

 

[shijing]

Hi Mariama --

I'm also sorry to hear about this situation -- it sounds quite stressful, although it seems that you're facing it well and making good use of the legal advice you've asked for. I have a couple of questions based on what you wrote above that may or may not be relevant to your situation:

Weird how stuff goes, I was just reviewing my parenting skills and style and have made some important changes.

Is there anything about the changes you've made (either before or after you made them) that would affect the situation with SS in any way?

I have attracted the wrath of my next-door neighbour's son. I have suspected trouble arriving from his side, but I am not sure.

How old is he, and why is he angry with you?

 

[Gwenllian]

Weird how stuff goes, I was just reviewing my parenting skills and style and have made some important changes.

Is there anything about the changes you've made (either before or after you made them) that would affect the situation with SS in any way?

I do not think so. The changes I have made (less computer and television time, lights out at half past nine for the entire family and a new paleo diet) are not directly visible to outsiders.
I will not talk about this diet to SS or possibly the judge for example, as I know they will classify it as neglect.

I have attracted the wrath of my next-door neighbour's son. I have suspected trouble arriving from his side, but I am not sure.

How old is he, and why is he angry with you?

It started with their rooster. Our rooster had been killed by birds and ever since that moment their rooster has refused to return to his own chicken coop. My neighbour came round to take him home, but no such luck, he just ran back. We did not want him there, as he was quite agressive and attacked us from behind. We asked our neighbour what to do about it and he said: just spank him. We did not want to hit the rooster, although we didn't like him at all. So I used my voice (didn't help of course) and my kids used all kinds of tricks to keep him away without hitting him, like waving a stick high up in the air (they felt scared).
The son (in his early twenties) started screaming when he saw us act like that.

And ever since that moment he has been observing us. Thankfully, he doesn't live there anymore, but I know when he is there, because I can hear his agitated voice. He will drive past our house really, really fast, brakes and then turns the corner (where our house sits) with screeching tires. It sounds really agressive.

My weak spot is my anger. I get into fight-mode when I believe I am treated unjustly. I have done my level best to restrain myself, but I get really angry when people start acting cowardly, the way he does. So I have sent some angry looks, which was picked up of course straight away, as he continues to observe me. I have become much calmer about the whole situation, EE and the diet help a lot. But he does not give up and I sense trouble and I am under the impression that the family knows I sense trouble. But that is just a feeling.
They gave a party and I had this feeling of doom, had this image of the son shooting people after the party was over. I discussed the situation with someone from my village who knows the family. And she confirmed that there had always been something about him that was not just quite right.

I have wondered whether I am not mistaken, but I have checked and doublechecked.

I do not know, maybe he has nothing to do with this SS thing. Maybe I am projecting, but I do not trust him at all. And I know that if I do not calm down I continue feeding him.
Sorry, this has become longer than I thought. ;)

 

[Gwenllian]

I would like to give you an update.

SS have refused to back down and accuse me of neglecting my kids (in three ways), psychiatric issues and the fact that my kids look neglected and more.

At one point I felt outraged and then I realised how much I had changed. Last time I still felt like a victim, I felt wronged and hurt. How could they say that stuff about me?
Although I was shocked at first after reading their second letter with their accusations, instead of retreating into a corner I became angry, contained angry that is. ;)
I do not feel responsible anymore for their statements. They have said vile stuff about me before and will continue doing so. It is amazing, this transformation in myself that I am observing. I am canning meat which is thoroughly relaxing and gives me time to think about a strategy. I am blessed with a good network that helps me with ideas and support.
I have told a neighbour and other people in the village what is going on. One lady I know has already offered her support, which I think is great. According to her my kids are lovely, which might unnerve some.

I keep thinking about this phrase war is peace. So, in the case of SS that would mean love is abuse. That is how I see it.

I have been thinking about this portal of attack, but frankly I do not see it. This is a witch hunt and it has been going on for eight years. It is time for me to stand up for myself. I felt too brow-beaten before to act.
I have three powerful tools here, I would say, the diet, EE and my network (this forum and others).

I will not discuss my strategy here. I am not sure whether this will help. I heard from a reliable source that they may even tap the phones of parents, when they are under investigation.
I can see (although I do not know much about it) the wave also approaching these workers, I can see them desintegrate. Their lies are getting bolder and uglier. But I can also see the opposite of entropy at the same time. It is becoming clearer and clearer to me that there are two opposites.

Thanks for listening. :)

 

[Laura]

Get an attorney.

 

[Gwenllian]

Get an attorney.

I have got one. Everything I have done so far with regard to SS I have done through or with the help of a solicitor. I have done nothing on my own. It is way too dangerous. But my solicitor assumes that we have to go to juvenile court, where a judge may interview my kids. I really think they should not be involved. For heaven's sake, they are 12 and 15. They have got better things to do.
That is why I would like to follow my own strategy (which comes through a friend and her solicitor) and discuss it with several other solictors (if mine does not agree) and see what they say.

Thanks, Laura.

 

[Laura]

Just don't involve any of us here. Period.

 

[Gwenllian]

Just don't involve any of us here. Period.

I have sent you a private message.