Rude Awakening

[Dick]

Recently I took a job as a production manager, a position I have quite a bit experience, although not lately. The pay was excellent, but I would have to get up at 3:00am, travel 75 miles one way, and work till 5:00pm, and travel home, which left me little time for anything else, except the weekend and that was for catching up on chores, bills, and sleep.

Now my style of management, was to get people working together as a team, listening to issues, and letting those people with special skills use them, to the best of their ability. The employees appreciated someone listening to them and not making a big issue of them having to leave because of a sick child or problems at school.

I really have never been in an environment, of all out lean manufacturing, which basically is doing twice the work with half the people, and taking shortcuts when you shouldn't. I actually protected a couple employees the management wanted to fire, not because of performance, but when asked questions, they voiced there opinion in a polite fashion.

Needless to say, they told me I would no longer be needed there. To say I was mad would be an understatement, the employees were all upset, because as they put it, we were all starting to work together and getting things done.

It hit me the day after I was relieved of my duties, what an STS situation it was, thriving on stress, discontent, anger, in other words the whole world system as it is.

I was so busy trying to correct things, because it was terrible when I first got there, I started to be sucked back into the Matrix, not reading, not checking the Forum or SOTT, forgetting lessons learned. This however has been a tremendous lesson learned, and a scary one
as to how quickly you can be sucked back in. I feel sorry for the people that are still there, because I consider them friends, and not employees, but I seen how easy it was to become part of that environment, and am relieved not to be there. I will have to find another form of employment, but won't quickly forget this lesson.

 

[Z...]

The way I see it you can't be sucked back into the Matrix as you never left it in the first place. Most of us are immersed in it - forum, Cassiopeia network and reading materials, these are just the life lines, then it is all up to your personal strength and will power to apply everything you learned every little step of the way- hoping that this will one fine day lead you to the exit. Of course this is easier said and done.

I can totally relate to your feelings. Bringing food to the table and dealing with those pesky mundane matters leaves very little energy or time for anything else. Our reality is designed for zombies.
My alarm clock is to come to this forum or SOTT page for breakfast, then during lunch break and then before I go to bed.


Perhaps this excellent essay might help a little to put things into the perspective

http://www.cassiopedia.org/glossary/Strategic_enclosure

BTW -why would you call friends people you just met on the recent job?
What happened to - trust no one and everyone is agent of the matrix until proven differently.

 

[Dick]

I worked with these people for several months, getting to know them, so I believe I could call them, friend. Close friends, no, but friends all the same.

Very good points in the article, thank you.

It was a good point about the lifeline, and thats what I was letting go, and it can happen quickly.

 

[anart]

I worked with these people for several months, getting to know them, so I believe I could call them, friend. Close friends, no, but friends all the same.

I think that makes sense - and that the statement

What happened to - trust no one and everyone is agent of the matrix until proven differently.

Is an example of black and white thinking and rather an odd one, considering the definition that was linked in the same post. Creating a Strategic Enclosure does not mean that everyone is automatically an enemy - or even an 'agent of the matrix' (though in very specific situations, they potentially may be) - it simply means being conscious of what one says and does at all times in order to create a safe and secure 'place' from which to Work on oneself - it means understanding that not everyone around you wants to 'wake up' and, therefore, they should be left to do what it is they choose to do; making it possible for you to do the same. It certainly does not mean that these people cannot be your 'friends' - or that one should not think of them as such or be friendly to or with them.

It is a matter of degree, context and understanding.

It was a good point about the lifeline, and thats what I was letting go, and it can happen quickly.

Yep, very quickly, which is why working to awaken is a daily process, if not hourly and minute by minute - it is a constant effort, so often the General Law does come into play with distractions/obligations/emergencies/etc. to pull one away from focusing on keeping the alarm clocks wound up and ringing.

 

[Buddy]

I was so busy trying to correct things, because it was terrible when I first got there...

I can relate to this as I have been in similar employment situations where I had better ideas (of how to run things) that weren't very well received.

Stepping into a context created and maintained by others up to that point makes External Consideration and the Strategic Enclosure valuable tools to protect oneself. It may be that patience and forebearance requires small incremental steps (with management approval) until one can 'take over' and truly make a difference.

 

[Rhansen]

... which left me little time for anything else, except the weekend and that was for catching up on chores, bills, and sleep.

I wonder how many people have the same problem, I suspect quite a few. I put in over 76 hours last week with maybe 10 more off the clock doing paperwork.
[quote author=Dick]... not reading, not checking the Forum or SOTT ...[/quote]
FWIW I too can relate to your concern. I certainly feel like there is more I can be doing (especially if I could just go without sleep for a few weeks at a time ;) ). At this point "small incremental steps" are about as good as it gets.

 

[Woodsman]

Recently I took a job as a production manager, a position I have quite a bit experience, although not lately. The pay was excellent, but I would have to get up at 3:00am, travel 75 miles one way, and work till 5:00pm, and travel home, which left me little time for anything else, except the weekend and that was for catching up on chores, bills, and sleep.
[. . .]
I was so busy trying to correct things, because it was terrible when I first got there, I started to be sucked back into the Matrix, not reading, not checking the Forum or SOTT, forgetting lessons learned. This however has been a tremendous lesson learned, and a scary one
as to how quickly you can be sucked back in. I feel sorry for the people that are still there, because I consider them friends, and not employees, but I seen how easy it was to become part of that environment, and am relieved not to be there. I will have to find another form of employment, but won't quickly forget this lesson.

This reminds me of a time when I was quite a bit younger, with big dreams and big plans. --But needing money to get started, I took a job at an insurance firm, just doing data entry and menial help-out tasks, but the pay was nearly triple what I'd ever made at the more common part-time jobs people at that age are often associated with. (Working at a mall, for instance). I first walked into the insurance offices on fire; I knew what I wanted to achieve in life and had recently absorbed some of Joseph Campbell's ideas. --"Follow your bliss." I made some comments about this a short while ago in another thread. . .

http://www.cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php?topic=8321.msg84064#msg84064

Anyway, while I was at that job, I found myself surrounded by 'corporate money people', where personal value was defined not by following inspiration, but rather by paycheck size and how expensive your suit was. That kind of thing. The job was fantastically draining! The office itself was a hermetically sealed building with poor air circulation. I found I would get very, very tired at work even after sleeping well. Coffee didn't solve the problem in the ways I'd found had worked in the past, and it wasn't until I learned from a friend who knew something about building construction and contracting work that I made a connection. (That the required minimums for air flow in buildings as mandated by local building codes was pitiful at best.) --I discovered that when I was about to fall over from exhaustion, (literally fighting to stop myself from nodding off), I could revive myself by escaping through the fire doors and into the stair well which connected to the underground parking lot. --I could smell the fumes from car exhaust, but mixed in with that was air from the outside. Even though the air was toxic with fumes, it would still wake me up. I cannot understand why other employees seemed to be unaffected by the poor air in the same way I was.

Still, the spiritual exhaustion was palpable and it grew over time. I found after a few weeks that I was consciously aware that some light inside me was going out. My creative muscles were turning off. (My Big Dreams and Big Plans revolved around writing and artwork, which all but sputtered to a halt). After a few more weeks I found that I couldn't even remember what it was exactly that I'd been so fired up about before taking the job. Another big thing which happened was that I fell deeply-madly for a cute girl who worked in the same offices. --By the end of my work term, (it was a temporary position only; I was filling in for a woman who had taken maternity leave), I was actively considering how I might find permanent employment in a position which would allow me to accrue said big paychecks, fancy suits, a car, a house, and all the typical fixings of that world so that I might be appealing not just in the eyes of that cute girl, but in a way which would return to me the self-worth which had been whittled away to nothing in that environment. I KNEW I'd been deadened, that I had become zombie-like, that I would be abandoning my previous big plans and passions, but I didn't care. All this in only 8 weeks!

A couple of weeks after that job ended, my energy slowly returned. The fire re-ignited and my previous perspective returned. It was a VERY instructive experience, one which I'm glad to have had and which I am VERY glad I was able to leave behind. --At the age I was at, (around 18 or 19), the belief that one is all-powerful and able to deal with anything was rudely disturbed by the realization that the human body and mind, (mine anyway), were FAR from indestructible, and in fact that if I didn't actively work to ensure that my energy reserves were high and that my environment was a healthy one, that even at my most determined and most laser-like in focus, I could be dashed into nothing very quickly.

It was a very humbling experience, and I think very useful. I'm glad that job had come with a built-in rip cord!

 

[Z...]

Creating a Strategic Enclosure does not mean that everyone is automatically an enemy - or even an 'agent of the matrix' (though in very specific situations, they potentially may be)

Potentially is the key word and that was my point.
Even you can act as an agent of the matrix if not conscious enough.
IMO Awareness of this is a big part of strategic enclosure.

My experience and a point that I was trying to get across is that you cannot define your work relations and your work actions by friendship feelings, especially after you have known these people for only several months.

My experience is also that you may think you have best of friends for years and years and then start working with them only to discover they have been manipulating you for years and that whole "friendship" was just a farce in order to get from you what they want.
If you are prone to wishful thinking than you are very easy prey.

 

[Inti]

I enjoy reading about awakening, so thanks for the thread Dick! :)

I started to be sucked back into the Matrix, not reading, not checking the Forum or SOTT, forgetting lessons learned. This however has been a tremendous lesson learned, and a scary one as to how quickly you can be sucked back in.

After a few more weeks I found that I couldn't even remember what it was exactly that I'd been so fired up about before taking the job. Another big thing which happened was that I fell deeply-madly for a cute girl who worked in the same offices. --By the end of my work term, (it was a temporary position only; I was filling in for a woman who had taken maternity leave), I was actively considering how I might find permanent employment in a position which would allow me to accrue said big paychecks, fancy suits, a car, a house, and all the typical fixings of that world so that I might be appealing not just in the eyes of that cute girl, but in a way which would return to me the self-worth which had been whittled away to nothing in that environment. I KNEW I'd been deadened, that I had become zombie-like, that I would be abandoning my previous big plans and passions, but I didn't care. All this in only 8 weeks!

Yes, it certainly is scary how quickly and easily it can happen sometimes! The way you wrote made me chuckle, Woodsman...it seemed pretty frank!

Just over 10 years ago, I came to a "rude awakening". It was on a day off work, I had meant to go and visit a friend but was in such a dream world that I ended up outside the door to where I worked, having gone there on "autopilot". It's quite a mundane and probably common story, but for me it was a life-changing moment. I realised then that I had become a complete robot and had been living in dream world for about a year and a half. I handed in my notice the next day and totally changed my life from that moment on. The scariest thing was that I had willingly done it to myself. I was so cynical prior to this awakening, I remember someone even saying to me: "There's nothing necessarily wrong with cynicism, it's just a little worrying at your age". And in hindsight, I think it was. I saw absolutely no lifeline whatsoever so I gave up even looking for one and created a dream for myself to live in. That was quite scary and still is quite scary for me: that it wasn't a question of switching off the TV, extracting myself from some ideology, romance, quitting any drugs, etc. It was me that deluded myself. And I still do it, time and time again. The biggest difference that took place on that day was that something changed in my will, I suppose. I didn't want to be asleep anymore, living in my own dream world.

I think the awakening is a long journey and maybe it never ends. I think that the level of deception becomes ever more subtle and dangerous with the level of awareness. They say that whatever doesn't kill you can make you stronger...or perhaps, here, whatever doesn't blind you can sharpen your vision...or something to that effect! :) It seems like some race of evolution, one always trying to keep up with the other..

I wonder how many people have the same problem, I suspect quite a few. I put in over 76 hours last week with maybe 10 more off the clock doing paperwork.

I could be totally out of line and I mean no offense here, but whenever someone tells me how many hours they've worked I'm a little suspicious. This may not apply to you at all, but maybe it does. I know many people who tell me how many hours they've worked. The most common reason behind it seems to be boasting of some kind, a sort of "look at me, what a good citizen I am, I work long hours, do overtime", a kind of noble sufferer attitude. Even if this is way off, which it may be, I cannot see a good reason really for counting hours...if anyone can, please explain to me. I imagine you are not enjoying it because if you were surely it wouldn't matter how many hours you worked or how much paperwork you did.

 

[Mountain Crown]

I could be totally out of line and I mean no offense here, but whenever someone tells me how many hours they've worked I'm a little suspicious. This may not apply to you at all, but maybe it does. I know many people who tell me how many hours they've worked. The most common reason behind it seems to be boasting of some kind, a sort of "look at me, what a good citizen I am, I work long hours, do overtime", a kind of noble sufferer attitude. Even if this is way off, which it may be, I cannot see a good reason really for counting hours...if anyone can, please explain to me. I imagine you are not enjoying it because if you were surely it wouldn't matter how many hours you worked or how much paperwork you did.

Inti, your intent is unclear here. Are you really holding up a mirror to Rhansen, or expressing a pet peeve?

 

[Buddy]

My experience and a point that I was trying to get across is that you cannot define your work relations and your work actions by friendship feelings, especially after you have known these people for only several months.

My experience is also that you may think you have best of friends for years and years and then start working with them only to discover they have been manipulating you for years and that whole "friendship" was just a farce in order to get from you what they want.
If you are prone to wishful thinking than you are very easy prey.

My experience has taught me similar lessons. My natural state is easy-going, like everyone, make friends easily, etc., but one of the hardest things to realize is that those you may call 'friends' may be nothing more than 'friendly acquaintances' due to their own self-oriented likes, dislikes, fears, internal considerings, agendas, etc.
Having identified someone as 'a friend' then binds one to a code of conduct (you don't treat friends THAT way, blah, blah,) that CAN (if not careful) seriously handicap ones' ability to discern, mentally discriminate, and 'get the job done'.

Having said that, it seems to me that as long as one doesn't invest in unreasonable expectations from these friendships, and keeps an open mind, the self will be able to enjoy relationships for the learning experiences, if nothing else.

-fwiw

 

[Dick]

I should clarify friends/employees. The vast majority of my employees were ethnically, Hmong and Mexican, with very little english skills, so it took twice the time communicating with them, which turned into a chore for both of us. It did however make us closer due to the communication issues, because it was all small victories in getting things accomplished.

As far as the hours, they were dictated as neccesary when I took the job. I would have much rather work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, or less, I'm not going to lie, I'm getting older and long hours are not my cup of tea.

 

[Buddy]

I should clarify friends/employees. The vast majority of my employees were ethnically, Hmong and Mexican, with very little english skills, so it took twice the time communicating with them, which turned into a chore for both of us. It did however make us closer due to the communication issues, because it was all small victories in getting things accomplished.

I can understand that. My extended family is Mexican. I am "Padrino" to a beautiful little 'chicano' and I was close to the entire family before they moved fairly far away. I also understand the differences between the American-Mexican cultures, with the strong Latino family orientation and ties and work ethic.

That did, indeed, make your work much harder.

 

[Rhansen]

I could be totally out of line and I mean no offense here, but whenever someone tells me how many hours they've worked I'm a little suspicious. This may not apply to you at all, but maybe it does. I know many people who tell me how many hours they've worked. The most common reason behind it seems to be boasting of some kind, a sort of "look at me, what a good citizen I am, I work long hours, do overtime", a kind of noble sufferer attitude. Even if this is way off, which it may be, I cannot see a good reason really for counting hours...if anyone can, please explain to me. I imagine you are not enjoying it because if you were surely it wouldn't matter how many hours you worked or how much paperwork you did.

My reason for counting hours is really quite simple, I get paid by the hour and it is part of my job to submit the time sheets for myself and crew. I also need to keep track of work performed for billing purposes as much of it is charged time and materials. I didn't intend to come across as boastful (though I will have to consider that some part of me may have been boasting), just trying to illustrate how I can relate to the feeling of not having enough time/energy to pursue the real work.
As far as enjoying my job (I am currently working as a drilling contractor), it is much like any other - it has it's good and bad points, more good than bad or I would seek other employment. I certainly don't hate it (at least not every day)

 

[Inti]

Hi Rhansen, thanks for explaining your time-keeping! :) I'm sorry for having projected onto you what I have seen and been irritated by in others sometimes. :(

Inti, your intent is unclear here. Are you really holding up a mirror to Rhansen, or expressing a pet peeve?

Although I did think there might be some truth in what I said, I suspect it was also a bit of a personal peeve I was expressing. Thanks for pointing it out to me, Mountain Crown. I think it says more about me than Rhansen.

just trying to illustrate how I can relate to the feeling of not having enough time/energy to pursue the real work.

Can't a job can be "real work" too?

I certainly feel like there is more I can be doing (especially if I could just go without sleep for a few weeks at a time ). At this point "small incremental steps" are about as good as it gets.

Or maybe those small incremental steps are just what you need/want at this stage in your life?

The latter questions are not so much directed at you Rhansen, as anyone...the comments just provoked some questions in me.