I had a dream last night that produced quite strong emotions in me and, upon waking up, got me thinking.
I remember noticing some kind of fuss at the place where I've been and going for the sound of the fuss to see what it's about.
I entered the area which is like a medieval dungeon place, and I'm going directly to the door at the far end. The door is open and inside I see big pile of some green slime with kind of fat tentacle (could be proboscis) going from right side and up, over the top of this pile, to the left.
As it started to move (could be breathing movements) I became aware that it's alive and felt really scared. Immediately I jumped outside of the room/dungeon trying to close wooden door behind me but somehow wasn't able to.
Then run to the exit, where another door was, and screaming all the way for someone to help me. I managed to pass the doorway, shut the door behind me but didn't manage to slide the bolt. I was scared beyond imagination even before the thing came to the door and the door started to slowly open.
Still screaming for help and fighting to lock the door, some female figure (I perceived her as older one, meaning that I could have been small - maybe a kid and a mother?) came down the stairs, slowly and nonchalantly, like "what's going on here?" and just stood few meters away observing. At that point I succeeded to slide the bolt and lock the door (although remembering that there wasn't such a strong push from other side) and then turned to look through opening at the door (like the openings on the dungeon doors).
What I saw quite surprised me. There was a cartoon-like baby elephant with big, big eyes full of tears. And then I woke up.
I woke up confused and with questions racing my mind. What was this scary slimy pile, why didn't she help me and most of all what was this baby elephant with such big, beautiful, cartoon watery eyes doing there? And what am I so scared of? To this last question an answer appeared that I'm scared, once let outside, that I won't be able to handle it (whatever it is).
Through the day I've been going back to this dream and analyzing it, but as my mind often plays trick with me I'm not so sure if this is in fact good thing to do. On the other hand, seeing on the problems that I had with sliding of the bolt in this dream, another recent dream came to my mind.
I was riding a bike, carrying something in my arms. As I arrived in front of a very big uphill I had to change gears. The gear-switcher was placed on right side of lower diagonal bar and to do that I had to switch hands, to place what I was carrying in left hand which was at that point at the wheel, and while doing that (and changing gears) I needed to ride without my hands on the wheel. I was scared of letting go of the wheel and decided that I would just put an extra effort with my legs to climb the uphill in higher gear rather than switching hands and letting the wheel even for short time.
When thinking about it, it seems that there is something awaken in me (maybe something dormant for very long time?), it sure feels like that recently, and I'm still keeping it locked inside because I'm scared what might happen if I let it out, scared of not being able to handle it which means scared of letting go of the control.
I understand that letting go is most probably the right solution to this, overcoming the fear and just letting go of the control, but I'm not sure I know how to do it.
So, any advice, comment or a nudge is highly appreciated.
I remember noticing some kind of fuss at the place where I've been and going for the sound of the fuss to see what it's about.
I entered the area which is like a medieval dungeon place, and I'm going directly to the door at the far end. The door is open and inside I see big pile of some green slime with kind of fat tentacle (could be proboscis) going from right side and up, over the top of this pile, to the left.
As it started to move (could be breathing movements) I became aware that it's alive and felt really scared. Immediately I jumped outside of the room/dungeon trying to close wooden door behind me but somehow wasn't able to.
Then run to the exit, where another door was, and screaming all the way for someone to help me. I managed to pass the doorway, shut the door behind me but didn't manage to slide the bolt. I was scared beyond imagination even before the thing came to the door and the door started to slowly open.
Still screaming for help and fighting to lock the door, some female figure (I perceived her as older one, meaning that I could have been small - maybe a kid and a mother?) came down the stairs, slowly and nonchalantly, like "what's going on here?" and just stood few meters away observing. At that point I succeeded to slide the bolt and lock the door (although remembering that there wasn't such a strong push from other side) and then turned to look through opening at the door (like the openings on the dungeon doors).
What I saw quite surprised me. There was a cartoon-like baby elephant with big, big eyes full of tears. And then I woke up.
I woke up confused and with questions racing my mind. What was this scary slimy pile, why didn't she help me and most of all what was this baby elephant with such big, beautiful, cartoon watery eyes doing there? And what am I so scared of? To this last question an answer appeared that I'm scared, once let outside, that I won't be able to handle it (whatever it is).
Through the day I've been going back to this dream and analyzing it, but as my mind often plays trick with me I'm not so sure if this is in fact good thing to do. On the other hand, seeing on the problems that I had with sliding of the bolt in this dream, another recent dream came to my mind.
I was riding a bike, carrying something in my arms. As I arrived in front of a very big uphill I had to change gears. The gear-switcher was placed on right side of lower diagonal bar and to do that I had to switch hands, to place what I was carrying in left hand which was at that point at the wheel, and while doing that (and changing gears) I needed to ride without my hands on the wheel. I was scared of letting go of the wheel and decided that I would just put an extra effort with my legs to climb the uphill in higher gear rather than switching hands and letting the wheel even for short time.
When thinking about it, it seems that there is something awaken in me (maybe something dormant for very long time?), it sure feels like that recently, and I'm still keeping it locked inside because I'm scared what might happen if I let it out, scared of not being able to handle it which means scared of letting go of the control.
I understand that letting go is most probably the right solution to this, overcoming the fear and just letting go of the control, but I'm not sure I know how to do it.
So, any advice, comment or a nudge is highly appreciated.
