pinkfreud
Jedi
Hi Friends -
Today, I turned 40. Also today, I had to say goodbye to my 34 year old horse, Vip.
I’m telling the story here because I have seen so many wonderful stories from other members about 2D friends. And while I have had to say goodbye to many myself, horses leave a really big hole. Like a thousand pound hole. Vip was only six years younger than me, and he has been in my life for twenty eight years.
That means he has been in more of my life than not. And I feel old today!
He was with me when I was in eighth grade.
He was the reason I met my first real best friend.
He taught me that I could do really hard things, and also scary things.
He was the embodiment of my toddler and childhood dreams.
He taught me to get over myself before anyone else could.
He taught me that a being ten times my size could be gentle sometimes, and wild others.
He taught me that love doesn’t always mean agreement, and that what we really need from each other is trust, regardless of position.
He was a total rockstar in the show-ring and a diva in the pasture.
He shined like the sun even after his last breath.
This is the last day I got to smell horse breath, sweet with hay and fresh grass. And it was the last day I will ever walk into my kitchen smelling like wood shavings and animal sweat.
Vip was not a cuddler, but he welcomed my kiss on his nose this evening. And while he was going blind in at least one eye, he held steady eye contact with me just before the vet administered his treatment. I told him it would get weird for a minute, and then be much better. And that I would be right there with him.
Every horse I’ve seen go down in the past has a lot of fear going on. Horses panic when they can’t use their legs. And Vip was uncertain for a very short moment. But then he just gracefully went to his knees and laid down.
The vet said it takes a lot of self-control for a horse to do such a thing with grace.
That’s my guy
I will miss him.
I will miss playing follow the leader in his pasture, and how he would pick-pocket me for carrots.
And I will miss his silly horse lips reaching through the gate for another treat.
And I will miss how he used to shove off any affection, but when I was really sad he would lean his head into my chest.
I will miss how it felt like we were some kind of mecha-warrior gliding over the ground - both of us knowing where his feet would touch the earth.
I will miss him pulling a Houdini and escaping his fence to munch on the neighbor’s trees or wander to the next yard with a horse in it.
I will miss the cozy winter nights in the barn with steam coming off of his water bucket in the glow, and hearing his snorts and sneezes in the dewy mornings when I put him out to his pasture.
I feel like it isn’t just VIP, and it isn’t just my decades of doing horse things. I feel like it is a chunk of what life was like in general that is gone now-but then I have a penchant for nostalgia.
Here we were, on a few acres in the woods, with a backyard horse and some chickens on the old family farm land. All the real cowboys I knew back when I first got VIP - they are all long gone.
Anyway, here’s my Vip.
His halter is off now, and I told him he could go past the driveway if he wants. He deserves a memorial somewhere, and I feel like this is a good spot for it.
Thanks for reading, Friends - may our 2D loved ones ride just the right wave.
Today, I turned 40. Also today, I had to say goodbye to my 34 year old horse, Vip.
I’m telling the story here because I have seen so many wonderful stories from other members about 2D friends. And while I have had to say goodbye to many myself, horses leave a really big hole. Like a thousand pound hole. Vip was only six years younger than me, and he has been in my life for twenty eight years.
That means he has been in more of my life than not. And I feel old today!
He was with me when I was in eighth grade.
He was the reason I met my first real best friend.
He taught me that I could do really hard things, and also scary things.
He was the embodiment of my toddler and childhood dreams.
He taught me to get over myself before anyone else could.
He taught me that a being ten times my size could be gentle sometimes, and wild others.
He taught me that love doesn’t always mean agreement, and that what we really need from each other is trust, regardless of position.
He was a total rockstar in the show-ring and a diva in the pasture.
He shined like the sun even after his last breath.
This is the last day I got to smell horse breath, sweet with hay and fresh grass. And it was the last day I will ever walk into my kitchen smelling like wood shavings and animal sweat.
Vip was not a cuddler, but he welcomed my kiss on his nose this evening. And while he was going blind in at least one eye, he held steady eye contact with me just before the vet administered his treatment. I told him it would get weird for a minute, and then be much better. And that I would be right there with him.
Every horse I’ve seen go down in the past has a lot of fear going on. Horses panic when they can’t use their legs. And Vip was uncertain for a very short moment. But then he just gracefully went to his knees and laid down.
The vet said it takes a lot of self-control for a horse to do such a thing with grace.
That’s my guy
I will miss him.
I will miss playing follow the leader in his pasture, and how he would pick-pocket me for carrots.
And I will miss his silly horse lips reaching through the gate for another treat.
And I will miss how he used to shove off any affection, but when I was really sad he would lean his head into my chest.
I will miss how it felt like we were some kind of mecha-warrior gliding over the ground - both of us knowing where his feet would touch the earth.
I will miss him pulling a Houdini and escaping his fence to munch on the neighbor’s trees or wander to the next yard with a horse in it.
I will miss the cozy winter nights in the barn with steam coming off of his water bucket in the glow, and hearing his snorts and sneezes in the dewy mornings when I put him out to his pasture.
I feel like it isn’t just VIP, and it isn’t just my decades of doing horse things. I feel like it is a chunk of what life was like in general that is gone now-but then I have a penchant for nostalgia.
Here we were, on a few acres in the woods, with a backyard horse and some chickens on the old family farm land. All the real cowboys I knew back when I first got VIP - they are all long gone.
Anyway, here’s my Vip.
His halter is off now, and I told him he could go past the driveway if he wants. He deserves a memorial somewhere, and I feel like this is a good spot for it.
Thanks for reading, Friends - may our 2D loved ones ride just the right wave.
Thank you sharing your journey with Vip, such a gorgeous horse. You were blessed to have him for so long and share the time you had together. Our pets have a special place in our hearts and we are never quite the same when they leave us (I know that it’s souls that matter but the grief is so very real). Sending you big hugs, and wishing you a happy birthday too.
Bless your sweet heart - and your very gorgeous 
Vip.
OMG! (More tissues!) as the vet gently assisted his transition. I think Vip was looking after you just as much as you were looking after him in that moment; I also think that exchange speaks volumes about the connection you both had, your great love and patience and his gratitude for all you gave of yourself to him. What a privilege to witness such a beautiful, gentle, peaceful passing in such a majestic, deeply soulful creature - and dearest, most precious, faithful companion. 
(So loving that!)
