ReaderOfAlice
A Disturbance in the Force
It was believed that childhood amnesia or infantile amnesia is a way of repressed trauma concealing itself. This theory was denied but made sense to me. First, there are babies who are harshly treated with real psychotic parents, there are those who beat up the child and throw them in the air. Beat them up and tossed them over. Beat them up and kick them on the floor, or just plain argue against each other and leave the child on the floor. Some parents are even being sexual inappropriate to their child, that they teased their private parts and played with them when they were so young.
So, I may have forgotten these things when I was a infant, but I haven't forgot when I was a child. Could I be forgetting this because how little am I?
The main point, I cannot remember anything at 2. There was only one time I remember, "Ah, this is the start of the day, my day one of the life." Then, I got my memory there, which I was 3.
As far as I know, my parents argued against each other in my presence when I was 3 - 12, so it would be no surprise if that was life at 2. And my little soul couldn't bear it and managed to let me forget it.
And the suspect of sexual abuse, I was so worried about this. Could I be sexually abused because the way I am now? It doesn't make sense as I am always uncomfortable to say "I'm a girl/I'm a woman" because it felt so weird. Could it be a fear of woman? I don't accept to just "accept my own gender", because I want to embrace my original gender, and I believe the difficulty to accept my real gender as a female is due to some sexual abuse in the past. Maybe I'm afraid of woman.
So, what are your opinions about this? Anyone has done memory retrievals in the past?
So, I may have forgotten these things when I was a infant, but I haven't forgot when I was a child. Could I be forgetting this because how little am I?
The main point, I cannot remember anything at 2. There was only one time I remember, "Ah, this is the start of the day, my day one of the life." Then, I got my memory there, which I was 3.
As far as I know, my parents argued against each other in my presence when I was 3 - 12, so it would be no surprise if that was life at 2. And my little soul couldn't bear it and managed to let me forget it.
And the suspect of sexual abuse, I was so worried about this. Could I be sexually abused because the way I am now? It doesn't make sense as I am always uncomfortable to say "I'm a girl/I'm a woman" because it felt so weird. Could it be a fear of woman? I don't accept to just "accept my own gender", because I want to embrace my original gender, and I believe the difficulty to accept my real gender as a female is due to some sexual abuse in the past. Maybe I'm afraid of woman.
So, what are your opinions about this? Anyone has done memory retrievals in the past?
