13 Twirling Triskeles
Jedi Master
This is a dream I had last year -- on Thursday - February 28, 2013 @ 5:40 am
For this particular dream, I used the Gestalt Method for interpreting the dream -- but I wrote it all in my Dream Journal instead of using the 2-Chairs method.
The Dream:
There’s a man. He has blond hair - blue eyes - hair parted in the middle of head - Caucasian - hair to below earlobes, just touching shoulders.
He tells me something. Oh! He has a white, long-sleeve, one-piece, floor-length robe on … like the kind shown in paintings of Jesus .. only his face and demeanor and eyes and words are nothing like the artwork of Christ.
And he has a long, very sharp sword. And he intends to use it on me. But I’m holding up a huge mirror to him. The mirror is so large, I’m holding it up with great difficulty, and it sways and nearly drops from my hands. It has a dark wooden frame, but it’s so unwieldy and awkward, it continues to slip sideways as I desperately hold it up to him. So he can “see” himself and what he is doing. What he is doing is attempting to pierce my body with his long sword.
And he does see himself. And he turns the sword on himself. Playing it like a violin bow through his other hand — cutting and slicing himself (his hand) — and his hand is bleeding all over. And he’s staring at me as he continues to destroy his hand (his life?). He’s not taunting me. It’s more that if I deny him my own self (body) to use his sword upon, then he has to turn it on himself — because he will use that sword — he must use that sword — either on me or himself or someone else.
And I’m crying and pleading for him to please, please stop - “Stop hurting yourself!” And he ignores my pleas (please?) and continues sawing his sword through his hand — and blood is slowly seeping from his wounded hand.
And he seems to be bleeding from everywhere — only no actual blood is flowing from anywhere except his hand.
He’s singing, or saying, something while I’m crying for him to please, please stop hurting himself.
I’m wanting to “order” him to stop. To shock him into stopping — by using a “tone” of voice which would make him pause or stop long enough for him to realize what he’s doing to himself and stop of his own accord. But somehow, I know I can’t violate his free-will to harm himself — even though I can barely endure watching him do so.
I know I can’t use force in order to force him to stop. And it wouldn’t work anyway —even if I used the appropriate “Stop Tone”, he would only pause a moment; then continue playing his violin sword.
Now I wake up.
* * *
My reaction upon waking up: I’m feeling appalled at what he’s doing and heartsick that I can do nothing to intervene. Even though I’m wanting to intervene, for some reason, I’m not permitted to just yank that sword right out of his hand. He will just materialize another sword each time he is deprived of one.
I’m still pleading with him while I’m awake. Please, please SEE yourself. See what you are doing. Clear your eyes (i’s) that you may SEE.
As I’m writing this down, my right thumb is going numb.
* * *
8 Months later -- Sunday - October 20, 2013 @ 11:57 am
As you can see by the date (10-20) nearly 8 months have elapsed between the actual dream and the work I did with the dream. What’s more, I had a further revelation one year later regarding this dream.
Me: Addressing Blond Violinist with the Bow-Sword.
Just now - as I’m writing this in my journal, a thought occurs to me as I write out the word “sword”. I’m recalling that in the Tarot Deck, the suit of swords represents communication — and words can hurt, harm, or heal. Like real swords — words can be two-edged.
And the word “sword” — if I move the “s” to the end of the word “sword”, I get “words”. So words are swords in the symbolic language of the subconscious. At least for my subconscious.
So, with this information in mind, I am addressing the Blond Violinist.
ME: Who are you, and what is it you wish to tell me?
Now i shift into “being” the Voice and consciousness of the Blond Violinist — so he can speak to me directly. I’ve given him a voice to speak and permission to tell me his message. OK — here we go. I’m now he, and he is now me.
Blond Violinist: I am your Alarm — attempting to wake you up. Alarm. You are alarmed by my actions. Using my sword as a violin bow — creating alarm within your mind. But that’s precisely how alarms work after all, yes? To shock you awake from a very deep sleep?
The sword is just a bit of shock theatre — to get your attention — and it worked, didn’t it?
I’m just a voice within your own internal psyche — taking on this appearance and playing out this drama in order to get through your buffers and alarm you that you need to pay closer attention to the “words” you use.
You use your words as if they’re swords. Hence, the sword display. And your words are used with the clear intention of harming others. True? Just like this sword I’m using as a violin bow — slicing through my hand, making it bleed. This is the effect and impact your own harmful words have on others — and yourself for that matter.
You’ve used your words as swords. So the alarm you feel is a result of the harm you inflict. Do you see now?
You used to understand and pay great attention to your use of words. Then you stopped caring any longer about causing havoc, shock, mayhem, and discomfort. You stopped practicing external consideration. Basically, you stopped even wanting to care about others or yourself.
Because you were in such shock yourself at learning what you’ve learned and being unable to share what you know because others reject this information. And this is the first time you’ve experienced this type of rejection. A rejection of truth - reality - facts - knowledge - understanding of evil and horror.
Everyone was quite happy to accept information that increased their sense of comfort and all-is-right-with-the-world.
You’ve become useless in your own eyes. A communicator - a messenger — and no one wants to hear or see these communications or messages.
This requires that you creatively design some tactics which avoid continuing down this road towards implosion. It’s all incoming information, but there’s no balancing outflow.
Suggestion: Dancing has always been your most effective form of communication. No words involved. And it’s your best and highest and most authentic expression of your True Self. You know this. You now need to act on it.
* * *
ME: Well thank you very much. I’m very grateful and appreciate your message. It’s working on me already.
As to the dancing — yes, I agree. In fact, I now recall how I just gave up on caring about others or the impacts and effects my words had on others.
It was a step-by-step process — beginning with finding out about 4D-STS and realizing how knowing this information totally conflicted with my ability to communicate with anyone, about anything, at any time.
Now, I knew something I could not communicate to anyone, at any time. I had never learned something of this huge magnitude that I knew I had to with-hold from telling — on purpose.
I felt like my communication line to others became jammed, stuck and trapped. Like the pipe was plugged up — with no outlet.
And the more I learned, the more plugged-up the pipe became. Until the only outlet I had was resentment and bitterness towards all the people who refused to learn and know the total horror of their own situation.
So, out of spite and resentment and anger and vindictiveness, I refused to care about them because they didn’t want to become aware of the horror. So I began using words as swords.
Because I actually did care and I couldn’t deal with them all being like the Blond Violinist — harming themselves because they weren’t interested in looking in the mirror and seeing what they were doing to themselves — because they didn’t want to upset their comfort zones. Comfort was more important to them than Truth.
Free-Will: I couldn’t feel compassion or allow them to exercise their free-will to refuse to look into a mirror or refuse to see the truth.
I wasn’t even playing God. God allows us to exercise our free-will. I was playing the forces of entropy. They are the ones who violate others free-will and interfere with others exercise of free-will.
I suppose it’s similar to having to hold-back and allow one’s children to learn the hard way — on their own. To fall down.
I couldn’t admit my own powerlessness to change this external condition and situation. But I must admit it. I not only cannot change another, it is not my job or my right to try to do so. I can only change myself. And that is my job.
* * *
One year later — Thursday, March 6, 2014 @ 6:18 pm
New realization regarding the Blond Violinist.
My words are harming ME! I’ve been blaming others for stressing me out. Other people, my new computer, non-stop rain, whatever I can find fault with and blame for feeling stressed.
Can it be me? Not others doing this TO me? Can I be doing this to myself? Is it possible?
I’m sensing that I’m trying to kill myself with stress. That I’m doing all this to myself. That Blond Violinist was showing me what I’m doing to myself as well as to others. My attitudes towards others mirrors my attitudes towards myself?
Going back > back > back > to the womb:
Feeling trapped - blocked - no way out - stuck - imprisoned - stopped - prevented from acting in my own best interests, or in favor of my own best interests — as I view, determine and define my own best interests to be.
Were these my thoughts and feelings — or were these my mother’s thoughts and feelings? What if I took on her thoughts and feelings and they aren’t even my own?
* * *
Well, you can see this isn’t fully resolved yet, yes? There’s more work to be done.
What’s helped me this past couple of weeks is that I read that “External and Internal Considering” entry in the Cassiopaea Glossary. And I see more clearly how I have been extremely internally considering and resenting rather than embracing being externally considerate. Added to the Self-Importance - what a lethal combination. Words as swords indeed. How much more obvious could the message from my sub-conscious mind be?
I will post another dream - much shorter - which was the first time I used this Gestalt process to interpret the meaning of a dream.
For this particular dream, I used the Gestalt Method for interpreting the dream -- but I wrote it all in my Dream Journal instead of using the 2-Chairs method.
The Dream:
There’s a man. He has blond hair - blue eyes - hair parted in the middle of head - Caucasian - hair to below earlobes, just touching shoulders.
He tells me something. Oh! He has a white, long-sleeve, one-piece, floor-length robe on … like the kind shown in paintings of Jesus .. only his face and demeanor and eyes and words are nothing like the artwork of Christ.
And he has a long, very sharp sword. And he intends to use it on me. But I’m holding up a huge mirror to him. The mirror is so large, I’m holding it up with great difficulty, and it sways and nearly drops from my hands. It has a dark wooden frame, but it’s so unwieldy and awkward, it continues to slip sideways as I desperately hold it up to him. So he can “see” himself and what he is doing. What he is doing is attempting to pierce my body with his long sword.
And he does see himself. And he turns the sword on himself. Playing it like a violin bow through his other hand — cutting and slicing himself (his hand) — and his hand is bleeding all over. And he’s staring at me as he continues to destroy his hand (his life?). He’s not taunting me. It’s more that if I deny him my own self (body) to use his sword upon, then he has to turn it on himself — because he will use that sword — he must use that sword — either on me or himself or someone else.
And I’m crying and pleading for him to please, please stop - “Stop hurting yourself!” And he ignores my pleas (please?) and continues sawing his sword through his hand — and blood is slowly seeping from his wounded hand.
And he seems to be bleeding from everywhere — only no actual blood is flowing from anywhere except his hand.
He’s singing, or saying, something while I’m crying for him to please, please stop hurting himself.
I’m wanting to “order” him to stop. To shock him into stopping — by using a “tone” of voice which would make him pause or stop long enough for him to realize what he’s doing to himself and stop of his own accord. But somehow, I know I can’t violate his free-will to harm himself — even though I can barely endure watching him do so.
I know I can’t use force in order to force him to stop. And it wouldn’t work anyway —even if I used the appropriate “Stop Tone”, he would only pause a moment; then continue playing his violin sword.
Now I wake up.
* * *
My reaction upon waking up: I’m feeling appalled at what he’s doing and heartsick that I can do nothing to intervene. Even though I’m wanting to intervene, for some reason, I’m not permitted to just yank that sword right out of his hand. He will just materialize another sword each time he is deprived of one.
I’m still pleading with him while I’m awake. Please, please SEE yourself. See what you are doing. Clear your eyes (i’s) that you may SEE.
As I’m writing this down, my right thumb is going numb.
* * *
8 Months later -- Sunday - October 20, 2013 @ 11:57 am
As you can see by the date (10-20) nearly 8 months have elapsed between the actual dream and the work I did with the dream. What’s more, I had a further revelation one year later regarding this dream.
Me: Addressing Blond Violinist with the Bow-Sword.
Just now - as I’m writing this in my journal, a thought occurs to me as I write out the word “sword”. I’m recalling that in the Tarot Deck, the suit of swords represents communication — and words can hurt, harm, or heal. Like real swords — words can be two-edged.
And the word “sword” — if I move the “s” to the end of the word “sword”, I get “words”. So words are swords in the symbolic language of the subconscious. At least for my subconscious.
So, with this information in mind, I am addressing the Blond Violinist.
ME: Who are you, and what is it you wish to tell me?
Now i shift into “being” the Voice and consciousness of the Blond Violinist — so he can speak to me directly. I’ve given him a voice to speak and permission to tell me his message. OK — here we go. I’m now he, and he is now me.
Blond Violinist: I am your Alarm — attempting to wake you up. Alarm. You are alarmed by my actions. Using my sword as a violin bow — creating alarm within your mind. But that’s precisely how alarms work after all, yes? To shock you awake from a very deep sleep?
The sword is just a bit of shock theatre — to get your attention — and it worked, didn’t it?
I’m just a voice within your own internal psyche — taking on this appearance and playing out this drama in order to get through your buffers and alarm you that you need to pay closer attention to the “words” you use.
You use your words as if they’re swords. Hence, the sword display. And your words are used with the clear intention of harming others. True? Just like this sword I’m using as a violin bow — slicing through my hand, making it bleed. This is the effect and impact your own harmful words have on others — and yourself for that matter.
You’ve used your words as swords. So the alarm you feel is a result of the harm you inflict. Do you see now?
You used to understand and pay great attention to your use of words. Then you stopped caring any longer about causing havoc, shock, mayhem, and discomfort. You stopped practicing external consideration. Basically, you stopped even wanting to care about others or yourself.
Because you were in such shock yourself at learning what you’ve learned and being unable to share what you know because others reject this information. And this is the first time you’ve experienced this type of rejection. A rejection of truth - reality - facts - knowledge - understanding of evil and horror.
Everyone was quite happy to accept information that increased their sense of comfort and all-is-right-with-the-world.
You’ve become useless in your own eyes. A communicator - a messenger — and no one wants to hear or see these communications or messages.
This requires that you creatively design some tactics which avoid continuing down this road towards implosion. It’s all incoming information, but there’s no balancing outflow.
Suggestion: Dancing has always been your most effective form of communication. No words involved. And it’s your best and highest and most authentic expression of your True Self. You know this. You now need to act on it.
* * *
ME: Well thank you very much. I’m very grateful and appreciate your message. It’s working on me already.
As to the dancing — yes, I agree. In fact, I now recall how I just gave up on caring about others or the impacts and effects my words had on others.
It was a step-by-step process — beginning with finding out about 4D-STS and realizing how knowing this information totally conflicted with my ability to communicate with anyone, about anything, at any time.
Now, I knew something I could not communicate to anyone, at any time. I had never learned something of this huge magnitude that I knew I had to with-hold from telling — on purpose.
I felt like my communication line to others became jammed, stuck and trapped. Like the pipe was plugged up — with no outlet.
And the more I learned, the more plugged-up the pipe became. Until the only outlet I had was resentment and bitterness towards all the people who refused to learn and know the total horror of their own situation.
So, out of spite and resentment and anger and vindictiveness, I refused to care about them because they didn’t want to become aware of the horror. So I began using words as swords.
Because I actually did care and I couldn’t deal with them all being like the Blond Violinist — harming themselves because they weren’t interested in looking in the mirror and seeing what they were doing to themselves — because they didn’t want to upset their comfort zones. Comfort was more important to them than Truth.
Free-Will: I couldn’t feel compassion or allow them to exercise their free-will to refuse to look into a mirror or refuse to see the truth.
I wasn’t even playing God. God allows us to exercise our free-will. I was playing the forces of entropy. They are the ones who violate others free-will and interfere with others exercise of free-will.
I suppose it’s similar to having to hold-back and allow one’s children to learn the hard way — on their own. To fall down.
I couldn’t admit my own powerlessness to change this external condition and situation. But I must admit it. I not only cannot change another, it is not my job or my right to try to do so. I can only change myself. And that is my job.
* * *
One year later — Thursday, March 6, 2014 @ 6:18 pm
New realization regarding the Blond Violinist.
My words are harming ME! I’ve been blaming others for stressing me out. Other people, my new computer, non-stop rain, whatever I can find fault with and blame for feeling stressed.
Can it be me? Not others doing this TO me? Can I be doing this to myself? Is it possible?
I’m sensing that I’m trying to kill myself with stress. That I’m doing all this to myself. That Blond Violinist was showing me what I’m doing to myself as well as to others. My attitudes towards others mirrors my attitudes towards myself?
Going back > back > back > to the womb:
Feeling trapped - blocked - no way out - stuck - imprisoned - stopped - prevented from acting in my own best interests, or in favor of my own best interests — as I view, determine and define my own best interests to be.
Were these my thoughts and feelings — or were these my mother’s thoughts and feelings? What if I took on her thoughts and feelings and they aren’t even my own?
* * *
Well, you can see this isn’t fully resolved yet, yes? There’s more work to be done.
What’s helped me this past couple of weeks is that I read that “External and Internal Considering” entry in the Cassiopaea Glossary. And I see more clearly how I have been extremely internally considering and resenting rather than embracing being externally considerate. Added to the Self-Importance - what a lethal combination. Words as swords indeed. How much more obvious could the message from my sub-conscious mind be?
I will post another dream - much shorter - which was the first time I used this Gestalt process to interpret the meaning of a dream.
