The lose/lose challenge

[LIMIT]

Well here is what is on my 'mind' what ever the hell that is.

According to the Eastern Tradition brought to us in fragmentary form by Gurdjieff and in a fuller form by Mouravieff; If you do not have a soul or the potential for one and you do not 'individuate' it you lose. If you do get to individuate it, you get to see your loved ones who do not 'make it', fail so once again you lose. If you cannot develop your higher centres because of low cognitive functioning, trauma or deception or cannot understand the narcissistic writings of Gurdjieff, and therefore cannot individuate, you lose. Damn its a fair system ain't it. And of course, If you are an OP you lose.

According to Ibn al-Arabi and Michael Topper, God or the Absolute Void puts you in your 'state' and there is not a damn thing you can do about it but relax, obey and flow with the process that is 'yours' to experience for 'It'. In fact because the Absolute is limitless, it is compelled to allow all things to arise as they 'are', and it is just 'tough' if you do not like your 'state' (which is an illusion) so once again you lose.

In the meantime a hyper-dimensional control system, the general law and the 'moon' are feeding on your frustrations and the pain of your loved ones while the STO higher consciousness will not interfere in your growth of suffering because it wants to graduate too.

According to the C's, If you do not network and become conscious of all this BS, you do not get to graduate and once again you lose - in fact the whole damn planet does. And if you do graduate, you get to find you are one with all that is and guess what? You will have to accept the BS of your Being. That is, once again you lose or at least throw up for a very long time.

So get drunk, do drugs, distract yourself with sex 'cause whatever you do (remembering you are just a machine and don’t actually do anything) you lose. Now I know why Ouspenski drank himself to death! So 'cog' on machine, and pray for a deep, everlasting sleep 'cause what ever the hell you are, you cannot annihilate yourself. You can only change into more of the same in the same endless blind alley.

We are all such suckers and losing is the only game in town. I say that mass suicide would be an elegant solution, 'cause causing pain in others just makes me sick to my gut.

Laura, thank your lucky stars you have family who love you. Have a happy birthday and enjoy 4D. And if you gurdjieff intellegensia think I am a psychopath, dont play with me, just tell me. At least I will then know and can act accordingly.

 

[T.C.]

Hi LIMIT

The universe, by showing you this and putting you in this predicament is asking you: who are you, what are you made of, what do you want, what do you have to offer, to be or not to be?

How you answer is completely up to you. The way a person reacts to the terror of the situation is a free will choice. The theory about the reaction you're having is that it is negative thought loops, rooted in false beliefs about existence, created by the lizzies, to make you give-up, leading to soul-smashing.

So which makes you most angry? The idea that life is just a sick joke and you're damned whatever you do, or that this reaction is actually a major part of the lizzies psy-op on humanity because we're such a threat to them?

 

[LIMIT]

Thanks TC.

My tired 'mind' is still open to a more positive solution and I am considering options, and yes I am aware of those damned STS bastards. Seems highly probable I have been under some rather intense attack - all my useless life, but particularly now.

I am very tired physically, and very, very angry in my 'spirit'. The anger is required I have come to realise - it sustains 'me' now and it seems like there is nothing to lose except my habitual failure; I don't hate them personally, but I hate everything they stand for; and I sure as hell want to punch the hell out of my oppressors. They had better not let their guard down, cause I know that controlled anger will be devastating to them...just let me get on one of their ships of doom and run my strong desire to destroy - this anger in me is like a burning white light and I know they fear it. I dont got nothing to lose and would sure get a great satisfaction with crushing their goddamned skulls to pulp! Let the white light burn through me - let my blood lust shed the life of every one of those disgusting creeps, even to my own destruction. It is not my life anyway, nor do I want to live with the memory of the things I have done to others. Open warfare is all I want now. Liberty or death - there are no other options, certainly not talk.

As for soul crushing - I don't think I have one to crush or it is already crushed - nor do I particularly care...I just want to murder and mayhem and rip the guts out of their lizard bellies. Sustained by hate and violence, my sword is drawn and hewn with deadly fire. I dare them to approach. I want to kill the pathological pissants, I need to destroy, and feel I am destined to go 'out' in the flames of hellfire. Suffering; I'll give em suffering. I'll give em a taste of all that they have done to my family, my friends and my people. I just await the right moment, then all hell will break loose.

I stand for Light, lose or not, may it burn so fiercely that it destroys both them and me. It is a good day to die! Emolliate my so called soul. Give me war, then give me everlasting sleep. Give me warriors, give me a battlefield, give me truth, sustain my hate and then let the campaign begin! Peace be buggered! No mercy. And to hell with the god that allows such arseholes to exist.

Hatred of evil is a good thing, and martyrdom for light is glory. I care not for love, I no longer love myself, nor life itself. This world is pure evil and it has made me evil. In fact, I am the meanest 'son of a bitch' in this vale of tears. My 'boots' are on and I intend to die in them.

 

[anart]

Well here is what is on my 'mind' what ever the hell that is.

According to the Eastern Tradition brought to us in fragmentary form by Gurdjieff and in a fuller form by Mouravieff; If you do not have a soul or the potential for one and you do not 'individuate' it you lose. If you do get to individuate it, you get to see your loved ones who do not 'make it', fail so once again you lose. If you cannot develop your higher centres because of low cognitive functioning, trauma or deception or cannot understand the narcissistic writings of Gurdjieff, and therefore cannot individuate, you lose. Damn its a fair system ain't it. And of course, If you are an OP you lose.

LIMIT, it sounds like you might be experiencing some brain chemistry imbalances again. It is not natural to see everything from such a gloom and doom perspective. It is NOT a lose/lose situation - it is a school and all there is is lessons.

So - what is your diet like, have you been taking any recreational substances that might have thrown you off balance?

At the end of the day, LIMIT - we're here, we have an opportunity to learn and through that learning, our souls develop - period - for those with a seed of an individuated soul and for those with more of a 'group' soul - heck even for super computers who are attracting a faint soul imprint. All of this is progress on the grand scale. So - no need for the gloom and doom - it's not accurate and it's not helpful to you and your state of mind.

Also - hatred is never a good thing - righteous anger, yes - hatred no, because hatred feeds that outside of you (it eats away at you and drains) while righteous anger empowers. At least this is my current understanding.

 

[LIMIT]

Well here is what is on my 'mind' what ever the hell that is.

According to the Eastern Tradition brought to us in fragmentary form by Gurdjieff and in a fuller form by Mouravieff; If you do not have a soul or the potential for one and you do not 'individuate' it you lose. If you do get to individuate it, you get to see your loved ones who do not 'make it', fail so once again you lose. If you cannot develop your higher centres because of low cognitive functioning, trauma or deception or cannot understand the narcissistic writings of Gurdjieff, and therefore cannot individuate, you lose. Damn its a fair system ain't it. And of course, If you are an OP you lose.

LIMIT, it sounds like you might be experiencing some brain chemistry imbalances again. It is not natural to see everything from such a gloom and doom perspective. It is NOT a lose/lose situation - it is a school and all there is is lessons.

So - what is your diet like, have you been taking any recreational substances that might have thrown you off balance?

At the end of the day, LIMIT - we're here, we have an opportunity to learn and through that learning, our souls develop - period - for those with a seed of an individuated soul and for those with more of a 'group' soul - heck even for super computers who are attracting a faint soul imprint. All of this is progress on the grand scale. So - no need for the gloom and doom - it's not accurate and it's not helpful to you and your state of mind.

Also - hatred is never a good thing - righteous anger, yes - hatred no, because hatred feeds that outside of you (it eats away at you and drains) while righteous anger empowers. At least this is my current understanding.

Thanks Anart, for being there..and TC also.
My diet is hopeless, I need a 'carer' who understands all that is being done here on the forum I think. Someone to help me with a good diet. No I have not been taking recreational substances 'though the one I used to take did allow me to sleep properly, and I sure do miss it. My sleeping is terribly erratic, and is part of my being 'off balance'. I am avoiding sleeping pills like the plague so am considering a glass of red wine in the evenings (I stopped the wine when my specialist told me to several years ago) - I mean it can't hurt my liver any more than it is already and if I gotta go, best I go smiling :) a glass of red wine was good at putting me to sleep. The huge effort to remove alcohol from my life destroyed what relationships I had then, but they were unhelpful anyway.
I just cannot cope with the diet on my own, 'though the only 'bad' thing I've been eating is bread (it is so easy) and being sad and lonely is a real drag - know anyone who needs to relocate to Australia?
One positive thing is that I am learning to dance at a local dance club which was short of a male partner for one of the older ladies. That has inspired me to restart strength exercises and I aim to find a dance partner to rock'n'roll with me. I always wanted to do that. The gypsy tap and waltz are O.K but the music is not my best choice. There is something about dancing with a partner that speaks to me directly of the forces of creation...and it is a positive interest.
I do feel much better for speaking up here, and strengthed by the kindly response. You are right about hatred, and the school. God bless.

 

[Turgon]

Hi LIMIT,

From reading your last post, there are a few immediate things you can do that can help you a lot in your situation.

No I have not been taking recreational substances 'though the one I used to take did allow me to sleep properly, and I sure do miss it. My sleeping is terribly erratic, and is part of my being 'off balance'. I am avoiding sleeping pills like the plague so am considering a glass of red wine in the evenings

If you read this Are You Getting Enough Sleep? Sleeping properly? you'll find tons of information on how to get your sleep patterns back in order, which has a huge impact on your mood and overall mental and emotional well-being! The gist of it, try and get to bed not long after sunset, wake up around sunrise and while sleeping, block out ALL light (artificial or otherwise) seeping into your bedroom. If you read the thread, you'll understand why it's so important. I used to have the worst sleeping patterns until I started implementing the suggestions in that thread, and now I can easily fall asleep way before midnight, which is something I wasn't able to do for a very long time.

Also, you definitely want to look into buying and taking 5-HTP for yourself. Check out this article here

* Have problems falling asleep or staying asleep?
* Find yourself edgy, irritable or angry?
* Lack motivation or feel depressed most of the time?
* Prefer to be left alone?
* Have ANTs (automatic negative thoughts) in your head?
* Worry, get anxious and find it difficult to concentrate or make decisions?
* Have feelings of low self-esteem and lack of confidence?
...

5-HTP administration has been shown to be effective in treating anxiety, depression, fibromyalgia, insomnia, binge eating, pain, and chronic headaches including migraines. Studies have revealed that it can work better than prescription medications at treating depression, and without the negative side effects

Hmm, sounds like it may be helpful in treating some of your current conditions ...
The article will give you an ideal way of how to take the 5-HTP throughout the day, so that it's more effective.

Also, in regards to your liver, I'm not sure what exactly the issues are nor am I going to attempt to diagnose, but you definitely want to check out this "Sluggish" Liver Issues and post up what's happening with you there so you can get some feedback from Psyche about possible treatments and whoever else may be, or have gone through similer dilemnas. So me thinks spending a fair amount of time in the Diet and Health section would be in your best interest. :P

Enjoy dancing, it's definitely lots of of fun!

 

[Gawan]

Hello LIMIT,
it's quite something you are going through at the moment.

Keep your head up and maybe introduce the aforementioned suggestions in your life. And take it step by step. Diet is a really important part in how one can perceive the world. IMO it is something like changing the lens you are looking through (cause of rearranging the brain chemistry). It does not work out all at once, not in a single day, but as Laura wrote in conjunction to the Éiriú-Eolas topic, daily efforts are cumulative and imo it counts for many other things as well. :)

And keep us posted if you like.

Enjoy dancing, it's definitely lots of of fun!

Yeah, go for it! :)

 

[LIMIT]

Hi LIMIT,

From reading your last post, there are a few immediate things you can do that can help you a lot in your situation.

No I have not been taking recreational substances 'though the one I used to take did allow me to sleep properly, and I sure do miss it. My sleeping is terribly erratic, and is part of my being 'off balance'. I am avoiding sleeping pills like the plague so am considering a glass of red wine in the evenings

If you read this Are You Getting Enough Sleep? Sleeping properly? you'll find tons of information on how to get your sleep patterns back in order, which has a huge impact on your mood and overall mental and emotional well-being! The gist of it, try and get to bed not long after sunset, wake up around sunrise and while sleeping, block out ALL light (artificial or otherwise) seeping into your bedroom. If you read the thread, you'll understand why it's so important. I used to have the worst sleeping patterns until I started implementing the suggestions in that thread, and now I can easily fall asleep way before midnight, which is something I wasn't able to do for a very long time.

Yes I tried that danielS thanks, but no dice damn it. I even avoid lamps for a few hours before bed. But I get tired during the day and often fall asleep - reading does it every time - and that effects my chances of sleep at night. Motivation is the bigest thing and on the desire to dance, I have restarted strength training which has elevated my mood a little. I really do not want to drink the wine - its no good for my liver and I never liked the taste of alcohol -ever. For about three weeks I stopped smoking tobacco too 'cause I hate the taste and smell. But yesterday I bought some more and my cognitive processs picked up immediately. The bitter taste of medicine I guess. yuck!

Also, you definitely want to look into buying and taking 5-HTP for yourself. Check out this article here

* Have problems falling asleep or staying asleep?
* Find yourself edgy, irritable or angry?
* Lack motivation or feel depressed most of the time?
* Prefer to be left alone?
* Have ANTs (automatic negative thoughts) in your head?
* Worry, get anxious and find it difficult to concentrate or make decisions?
* Have feelings of low self-esteem and lack of confidence?
...

5-HTP administration has been shown to be effective in treating anxiety, depression, fibromyalgia, insomnia, binge eating, pain, and chronic headaches including migraines. Studies have revealed that it can work better than prescription medications at treating depression, and without the negative side effects

Hmm, sounds like it may be helpful in treating some of your current conditions ...
The article will give you an ideal way of how to take the 5-HTP throughout the day, so that it's more effective.

Dear friend, the cost of 5-HTP which has already been advised by Psyche is really prohibitive, but I will ask my doctor who I am seeing on Wednesday next to see if it can be supplied from the pharmacuetical index - my doc (Dr J.S. Chiappalone no less) is in favor of non big-pharma interventions but this one may be just too hard - the only thing that has worked in the past is illegal and not recommended for one on the 'path' we are on. Man I am so frustrated with the elite control system! Are we really sure that the marvelous, easily grown, planet saving herb is so detrimental for one in my condition?

Also, in regards to your liver, I'm not sure what exactly the issues are nor am I going to attempt to diagnose, but you definitely want to check out this "Sluggish" Liver Issues and post up what's happening with you there so you can get some feedback from Psyche about possible treatments and whoever else may be, or have gone through similer dilemnas. So me thinks spending a fair amount of time in the Diet and Health section would be in your best interest. :P

The sluggish liver problem is no stranger to me and dear Psyche helped me with a plan last year - which I still maintain with extras like magnesium, vit b complex and vit C. But the diet is a huge problem for me - energy to get and prepare the right food, eat regularly, failure to make buckwheat pancakes, costs of quinoa and the ease of wholemeal bread (which I can get without additives here) - it has just all fallen to pieces. I have liver cirrhosis and late stage HCV. The specialist tells me I have at most about 8 years (time enough to see 2014 out) and though I need some one to care for my diet, I have no hope that someone who reads and acts on the dietry advice here will come into my life. What I would really love to see is a Cassiopaean health retreat - where I could live and die in optimal spiritual health - mmm dream perhaps, a dream that will come true for others in the future - until then, we watch and learn from the world in transition.

Enjoy dancing, it's definitely lots of of fun!

The dancing gives me hope, and its not too strenuous, though the rock'n'roll I want to do may be. But going 'out' with my dancing shoes on sure beats all other offers.

Hello LIMIT,
it's quite something you are going through at the moment.

Keep your head up and maybe introduce the aforementioned suggestions in your life. And take it step by step. Diet is a really important part in how one can perceive the world. IMO it is something like changing the lens you are looking through (cause of rearranging the brain chemistry). It does not work out all at once, not in a single day, but as Laura wrote in conjunction to the Éiriú-Eolas topic, daily efforts are cumulative and imo it counts for many other things as well. :)

And keep us posted if you like.

Enjoy dancing, it's definitely lots of of fun!

Yeah, go for it! :)

Hi Legolas, my brain chemistry is at the mercy of HCV and liver malfunction. Without a cure for HCV I'm buggered. But thanks heaps for the understanding. I dont post much now for fear of my stupidity which has been obvious in the past...and which I very much regret. What I am going through is important some how, but I do not want others to be drained by the results of my own mistakes (even if they are some how self planned or the result of direct STS manipulation).

You guys are just geat, a healing balm for all. You make me want to cry with relief and joy. over and out for now.