The Return of a Jedi

[D Rusak]

Hi all,
Just throwing up a post- I haven't been here in a while. Had some computer problems the last month or so (including the disappearance of one) and some personal things to sift out- or at least come to realize they needed a good sifting.

I've been thinking a lot of the C's comment, "Like attracts like". So, in order for one to find some sort of happiness, one must determine one's values, pursue these ideals and work on oneself, and then one will come into contact with people on the same path. One will find complementary, useful situations to the Work because one is actively seeking them and recognizing them.

One thing I have noticed though is that although my daily interactions with people are becoming less awkward, and I'm bringing up topics that really matter to me when I have a chance, I also feel more isolated in some ways. I don't feel satisfied just reading SOTT & co. (although all of this has changed my life- thanks everyone!) online- I want to DO something! Perhaps I am just being impatient (or probably). I don't know if I've really been sucessful in fully exploiting the benefits and resources offered by the forum.

I have the opportunity, though, to make some career decisions in the very near future and I am quite undecided what to do. I am involved in the arts by vocation, which is actually very useful to the Work- I meet a lot of interesting people with a diverse array of perspectives, and I also have much time to read. Right now it's looking as though I will hold down some part-time jobs, which are not the most fufilling (although not strenuous either) while attempting to find a position in my field (which could take years if ever). I should have time to read but I feel as though the bulk of my day will be spent in a relatively meaningless fashion. I could go back to school to earn the final degree in my field so I can teach at a university, but I am not sure this is the best option, either. I have no idea how to really put a message out through my art and am almost considering doing something else all together (related to teaching, I suppose, although I have no idea what). I guess I'm wondering what the benefits are of jobs that allow one to earn money and still dedicate time to work on oneself compared to a job (which would be??) that allows one to interact with and really make some difference to other people. Is it better to have a solid financial situation that might allow one to do very meaningful Work in the long run as it seeps out through interactions with others, or to start right in and try to educate others immediately and learn as one goes along?

I recall reading a similar thread somewhere else, so I apologize in advance.

 

[Tigersoap]

One thing I have noticed though is that although my daily interactions with people are becoming less awkward, and I'm bringing up topics that really matter to me when I have a chance, I also feel more isolated in some ways.

I think it's part of getting rid of old illusions and getting more in touch with what you think is more important to you.

I am more or less in the same position as you are, with lot of time on my hands to make some art, read and so on.
It's only my advice on it but if you can do what you really like and not be obliged to go working in something that will just drain you out, do it.
Free-time is a luxury.
I know it's sometimes pretty hard to feel like you haven't done anything at all during the day but I suppose you have to balance what you really want to do and what you think you should do (peer pressure/social pressure etc...)

I have no idea how to really put a message out through my art and am almost considering doing something else all together (related to teaching, I suppose, although I have no idea what)

I have similar questions about what I am doing.
I do sometimes feel that I am not doing enough to share what I've learned so far and that my art should be the vector of all these things.

I don't know about you but I can be really hard on myself for not being good enough in my field so it can put a negative filter on what is really happening.
What matters is maybe just Doing what you usually do without being too judgemental about it, because until we're conscious enough, our art will just be a reflection of our own internal mechanisms osit.
Being humble about what you're doing without trying to put the cart before the horses.

In this way, it may also be a learning tool about yourself.
I do consider the work being everywhere and everytime even if I still forget myself.

I am not sure that there is a need to 'teach' the others until we have ourselves made enough progress.
This can't be forced, especially upon others.

Maybe reading Mouravieff would put things into perspective ?
I know it helps me.

Good luck !!

 

[D Rusak]

There were a couple of remarks in your post that gave me definite pause for contemplation.

What matters is maybe just Doing what you usually do without being too judgemental about it, because until we're conscious enough, our art will just be a reflection of our own internal mechanisms osit.

It seems obvious, but I never thought of art as being just as much of a reflection of internal mechanisms as anything else! I think a lot of artists view their work as somehow removed from everyday life, or even sacred, in a sense. While art is valuable in being a means of expression for emotions and thoughts that could otherwise not be shared, it too is subject to the limitations of human expression, which includes all of those things that Mouravieff, Ouspensky, G, and co. talk about. It is very easy to be over-critical of our technique and creativity that we forget to critique the means of our production and how we relate to others in doing so (especially as a musician).

On the other hand, I recently read de Hartmann's account of his work with Gurdjieff (a very excellent read- Our Life with Mr. Gurdjieff) and he did seem to make a decision at some point that the Work was more important than his art, and went without it for some time. I don't feel that this is "Working in the world" but at the same time, taking audition after audition and scrounging for work while holding down a menial service position seems a bit meaningless and I wonder if I couldn't be doing something else? I love my work though, so I am very confused. I suppose for now I will keep on Working through all interactions with others, and self-observation, etc.

 

[atreides]

Hmm, I think you have started to stray off the beaten path a little there.

As I see it, Art, both produced and appreciated, speaks volumes about the condition of the individual, those who like art without aesthetic value usually have sleeping emotional centers etc etc. Also the art produced by a person speaks in the same way, not always, but you catch my drift.

As for changing your life, be careful, dont take it too lightly, it's all the way or it's nothing. If you really feel you need a change then you need to evaluate your whole life and begin fundamental changes, or not at all. Don't think for a second that one single change will fix everything, and don't think that one or two changes will have any real effect.

Also, if you make a change with an expectation, you are really heading for a disaster, try to clear your mind of expectations of outcomes and focus on growth and expansion through change. Will you be in a better position, be able to learn more, do more, help more, be more healthy etc and so forth. Think of it like a chess match, you need to pick the move that is the most protected while simulataeneously opening up the largest number of attack possibilities. Always move to more freedom, more choices, never less.

 

[Ruth]

I've been thinking a lot of the C's comment, "Like attracts like". So, in order for one to find some sort of happiness, one must determine one's values, pursue these ideals and work on oneself, and then one will come into contact with people on the same path. One will find complementary, useful situations to the Work because one is actively seeking them and recognizing them.

That's odd, because I've found that the further one gets to something worth having, the harder things get - and sometimes very hard indeed....

The hatred increases. Nastiness, maliciousness, spitefulness and arrogance come up and say 'hello', usually in the form of some silly person who should be out in the field playing with some cows. Obstacles come out of nowhere, so much so that when this isn't happening, I'm wondering what's going on. Its almost as if 'if its worth having', then its worth constant thwarting by 'higher powers'. I'm not sure how like is supposed to attract like if it doesn't even recognise it....

Well, maybe its just me and I'm cynical.

It reminds me of something JC said (Matt 10:34)
"Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-lay. A man's enemies will be the members of his own household."

I think he had in mind some serious 'head thumping' and 'trouble and strife'. It's certainly something I've come to expect as I look around at the world as I know it.