Toady, an agent ate my energy

[mada85]

Over the last couple of weeks, and especially the last few days, I have been preparing thoroughly for my new job, doing Qigong every morning, and doing more research and reading, and posting to the forum. All this has created energy and awareness in me. This afternoon, some of that energy was eaten by an agent. The person in question is someone I have known for several years, but he has never shown any interest in 'SoTT' material or inner work. As soon as he arrived at my home this afternoon, he began to talk AT me, offloading his latest work and family news. For my part, a 'make nice' program kicked in, and even as I felt my energy being drained, I just felt really uncomfortable, wishing it would stop, and since I am a 'nice guy', I made no attempt to stop him or divert his flow of talk.

The Matrix was able to send this agent to eat my energy because I had not paid enough attention and thought to the state of my energy and awareness up to this point. I had not considered in enough depth that networking, reading, thinking and researching were creating energy and awareness, and that I needed to protect myself, and so the Matrix ate my energy and awareness. I felt it was an impersonal happening: observing his eyes, I noticed that he seemed to be running on autopilot. Or perhaps it was individually targeted – who knows?

I also wonder if my 'make nice' program was somehow amplified or intensified by some outside influence, as I seemed to be well and truly caught in its spell.

After he had gone – he was only here for about twenty-five minutes – I felt very drained and shocked by the whole sequence of events. It reminded me exactly of Don Juan's description of how the predators eat our glowing coat of awareness in order to keep it below the level of the toes. It also showed me how the Matrix attacks us through our blind spots, and how knowledge truly has the potential to protect.

I don't harbour a grudge or ill will against my friend; I see this event as part of my learning process – a strong reminder to be vigilant at all times. That is easier said than done, however – it is so easy to meet someone I know and fall into old habits of relating, forgetting to be vigilant. However, I know that this person is never going to change, and that if I said to him, 'Pardon me, friend, but you're an energy vampire conduit for the Matrix…' – well, I don't think he would be open to hearing that. So, it seems the best course of action is to withdraw from a friendship with him, which won't be too difficult as I don't see him very often anyway.

All in all, a sobering and very salutary experience.

 

[Z...]

mada I have a few questions if you dont mind:

R you implying your friend is either OP or has such low awareness that matrix easily used him as proxy server?
When you say : The matrix was able to send this agent coz I had not paid enough attention, what do you mean - can you be more specific and describe the situation exactly?

how do you think your friend ate your energy, just by forcing you to listen to him?


What did you learn from this experience, any ideas how to protect yourself next time?

 

[Joe]

I don't think it is very useful or even accurate to describe your experience of being drained by your talkative and somewhat self-centered friend as:

"the Matrix was able to send this agent to eat my energy"

Nothing was "sent" to you, this is a very normal human interaction that occurs every day, and while certainly it is likely that some form of "energetic" draining often occurs in such situation, it is not something that is objectively quantifiable or able to be scientifically analyzed, so why talk about it as if it?

This is something that needs to be understood from a psychological/psychotherapeutic point of view, and your programs and childhood issues, not some lofty spiritual or new age perspective. This is life, learn the difficult yet mundane lessons of it if you wish to evolve in any meaningful way

Joe

 

[PepperFritz]

Over the last couple of weeks, and especially the last few days, I have been preparing thoroughly for my new job, doing Qigong every morning, and doing more research and reading, and posting to the forum. All this has created energy and awareness in me.

I am also in the process of preparing for a new job within a formal office environment, after a number of years of working freelance from my home office. I know the new environment will present many new challenges, in terms of old "programs" kicking in, and know that I need to go into it with as much "awareness" as possible. We'll have to compare "notes" on our progress.... ;)

This afternoon, some of that energy was eaten by an agent.... The Matrix was able to send this agent to eat my energy because I had not paid enough attention and thought to the state of my energy and awareness up to this point.

Have you considered the possibility that the situation was really a self-orchestrated (or universe-orchestrated) "dress rehearsal", intended to draw your attention to your "make-nice" program BEFORE you entered your new work environment? And that it could be viewed as a "positive" event, in that it provided you with an opportunity to think about how you will handle (strategically speaking) the program within a work context, within the relatively inconsequential context of a friend's visit. I'm not saying this is the case, since I don't know, just suggesting it as a possibility.

I don't harbour a grudge or ill will against my friend....

It sounds as though he was simply unconsciously running his own program, and that there was no ill-intent behind his behaviour. Unless he is perhaps feeling unconsciously threatened by your new job? For example, he may feel that some of the energy that you used to expend on him is now being diverted towards your new job, that you may now have less time to spend with him, etc, and that may have caused him to unconsciously want to "redirect" your energy? Again, I don't know, I'm only throwing out possibilities.

I see this event as part of my learning process – a strong reminder to be vigilant at all times.

Better to see the incident more as a learning opportunity which you can use to your future advantage, rather than an example of "failure" on your part. As the C's say (or was it "Ra"?): "All is lessons".

So, it seems the best course of action is to withdraw from a friendship with him....

Or address his concerns, so that he has the opportunity to become conscious of his own program? For example, if the opportunity presents itself, you could acknowledge the fact that you probably will be far less "available" to him due to your new job, but will still take time to keep in touch on a regular basis? Again, just throwing out ideas that come to mind, I could be way off....

 

[mada85]

Thank you so much - Deckard, Joe and Pepperfritz - for your thoughtful and insightful replies, which have truly helped me think. This is quite a long post, in which I want to address various points raised in your replies.

I don't think it is very useful or even accurate to describe your experience of being drained by your talkative and somewhat self-centered friend as:

"the Matrix was able to send this agent to eat my energy"

[…]not some lofty spiritual or new age perspective.

I was trying to make sense of the incident, and I now think it was my self-importance and imagination that made me describe it in 'Matrix' terms. In fact it was a way of avoiding looking at deeper psychological issues.

This is something that needs to be understood from a psychological/psychotherapeutic point of view, and your programs and childhood issues,

My father was very intense and dominating; he fits the description of narcissistic parents I have read in the Golomb and Pressman books. I actually have almost no memories of my childhood before the age of about 9 or 10, just a few isolated snapshots here and there, and over the years have tried to piece together what it was like from various clues in my own programs. One program that was ingrained in me from my childhood is that 'others are always right' – my father is a person who presents his opinions as facts that are not to be argued with. Even now, whenever I tell him about something I enjoy, he can always tell me of how it could be improved, or that he knows something better. I think he is unable to understand or enjoy another's enjoyment.

how do you think your friend ate your energy, just by forcing you to listen to him?

So, my friend comes along, starts talking fourteen to the dozen at me, and I fall into a kind of light trance – a dissociated state has taken me over – and in this state, my friend is right and cannot be interrupted, and I have to give him my attention, whatever the cost. Perhaps the test of a dissociative state is whether one can easily get out of it at the time it is happening. At the time, I was unable to break the spell. Actually, he didn't force me to listen to him, I could not get out of the state I was in, and so gave my energy to him. There was a slight possibility for me to have interrupted him.

Nothing was "sent" to you, this is a very normal human interaction that occurs every day, and while certainly it is likely that some form of "energetic" draining often occurs in such situation, it is not something that is objectively quantifiable or able to be scientifically analyzed, so why talk about it as if it?

Self-importance – see, I'm so highly advanced that the Matrix has to send a real live agent to eat my energy, which I've been working so hard to create. And, of course, I know all the deepest esoteric secrets of creating energy and awareness

This is life, learn the difficult yet mundane lessons of it if you wish to evolve in any meaningful way

What did you learn from this experience, any ideas how to protect yourself next time?

Firstly, I was quite taken aback by how quickly I fell into the dissociative state I mentioned earlier, and even though I usually think of myself as being able to take care of myself, that may be just self-importance and STS, when in fact it is unbelievably easy for a dissociative state/program to take me over. I learned that the STS feeding dynamic in human interactions is very uncomfortable when one is the 'food'. It is has certainly happened to me before, but this is really the first time I have seen it so clearly and really felt its effects. And, conversely, I do not want to feed on others, knowing now how ugly it is.

Secondly, in that situation I could have said something like: 'Well, you're talking fifteen to the dozen today, let me get a breath!' or something along those lines, with a little humour to leaven my remark. And as for protection next time, I'm not sure now what such 'protection' would consist of. Perhaps yesterday's experience, and this analysis of it, might serve as a kind of vaccination. I hope that looking into it with care and attention will help lay down a different association in my mind next time it happens – to help me see the dissociative state/program earlier in the cycle.

When you say : The matrix was able to send this agent coz I had not paid enough attention, what do you mean - can you be more specific and describe the situation exactly?

It seemed to me that all the work I had been doing in a disciplined way – preparing for my new job; reading; researching; forum contributions; Qigong – had created a certain level of energy, which I felt was greater than usual. However, I also felt, reflecting on the matter after the 'feeding incident', that I had not paid enough attention to this state of things, and had not considered how to conserve this energy, or possible modes of energy drain. With more energy available, but lacking in sufficient self awareness, the program that I described above was able to take over with great force, and the energy I had built up flowed into the program. Hope this makes sense – I'm describing a very subjective experience, and as Joe quite rightly points out, it cannot be measured in a scientific way.

R you implying your friend is either OP or has such low awareness that matrix easily used him as proxy server?

Actually, yes I was, which was unjust and self-serving of me, because in many ways the person concerned is very successful, and is hard-working, kind and generous. And, as has been said elsewhere on this forum, we're all OP's until we develop a real I.

I am also in the process of preparing for a new job within a formal office environment, after a number of years of working freelance from my home office. I know the new environment will present many new challenges, in terms of old "programs" kicking in, and know that I need to go into it with as much "awareness" as possible.

That is what I keep thinking about my situation, too – going into the new environment with as much awareness as possible. I chose this particular job because it will offer many opportunities to observe programs and for inner Work.

We'll have to compare "notes" on our progress.... ;)

Definitely!

Have you considered the possibility that the situation was really a self-orchestrated (or universe-orchestrated) "dress rehearsal", intended to draw your attention to your "make-nice" program BEFORE you entered your new work environment?

That is something I considered, however I am not sure how much one can consider that the universe is consciously our teacher in the sense you describe. I think its more likely to have been a coincidence – an automatic function of the general law, if you like - which I can use as a learning experience.

And that it could be viewed as a "positive" event, in that it provided you with an opportunity to think about how you will handle (strategically speaking) the program within a work context, within the relatively inconsequential context of a friend's visit. I'm not saying this is the case, since I don't know, just suggesting it as a possibility.

I do view it as a positive learning event: your mention of 'strategically' is interesting. Have you read Don Juan on petty tyrants? It's quoted on the Cass/SOTT sites in a few places. Don Juan talks about having a strategy, and the first part is to gather knowledge, even while you are being harassed or attacked.

Unless he is perhaps feeling unconsciously threatened by your new job?

Curiously, that may be very close to the mark. I have been doing a small amount of work for this friend, and he has known for the past year that I have been looking for a full time job. I was offered this particular job three months ago, and he still has not found anyone else to do the work I have been doing. It is only two to four hours per week, but still, I think you may well have a point.

Or address his concerns, so that he has the opportunity to become conscious of his own program? For example, if the opportunity presents itself, you could acknowledge the fact that you probably will be far less "available" to him due to your new job, but will still take time to keep in touch on a regular basis?

Actually, I did all that yesterday although he has never shown any desire, at least to me, to become aware of his programs, if he even thinks in those terms.

 

[Color]

Nothing was "sent" to you, this is a very normal human interaction that occurs every day, and while certainly it is likely that some form of "energetic" draining often occurs in such situation, it is not something that is objectively quantifiable or able to be scientifically analyzed, so why talk about it as if it?

This is something that needs to be understood from a psychological/psychotherapeutic point of view, and your programs and childhood issues, not some lofty spiritual or new age perspective. This is life, learn the difficult yet mundane lessons of it if you wish to evolve in any meaningful way

Joe

Joe has a point there, it seems to me you were mostly upset cause your sand castle of 'higher energy' was wiped off with a first ocean wave. And instead of labeling and focusing on that 'wave', prescribing him matrix powers, it's better to concentrate on the delicate structure of your castle and go from there, working on a stronger foundations

 

[mada85]

it seems to me you were mostly upset cause your sand castle of 'higher energy' was wiped off with a first ocean wave

You're correct. And, thanks to the reflection engendered in me by the replies to my initial post, today, when I have had more contact with this same friend, I have been able to see my program - for that is what it is - and not to let it control me.

Thanks guys!!!

 

[PepperFritz]

That is something I considered, however I am not sure how much one can consider that the universe is consciously our teacher in the sense you describe. I think its more likely to have been a coincidence – an automatic function of the general law, if you like - which I can use as a learning experience.

I was a student of the "Seth" material, way back before "Ra" and the Cs came along. Something Seth said has always stayed with me, and I try to live by it. When asked what steps one should take to advance oneself spiritually, he advised (and I'm paraphrasing here): Just deal with what is directly before you on a daily basis, endeavouring to be as aware as possible. The daily challenges presented to you by the universe/your higher self are your lessons, and if you face them and deal with them honestly and directly, you will learn and progress. He also advised to pay particular attention when an event or person aroused strong emotion, as it is an indication that there is something important to be learned there.

In light of that, I've never believed in "coincidences" when it comes to emotionally charged situations. I try to sit up and consciously take notice, and always assume that there is an underlying purpose which will eventually become apparent to me. I'm not saying that you should share my belief/approach, or that it even reflects reality, I'm just trying to explain where I'm coming from on that.

your mention of 'strategically' is interesting. Have you read Don Juan on petty tyrants? It's quoted on the Cass/SOTT sites in a few places. Don Juan talks about having a strategy, and the first part is to gather knowledge, even while you are being harassed or attacked.

Yes, exactly! Self-condemnation is a waste of energy. Use that energy to STRATEGIZE!

 

[Color]

The daily challenges presented to you by the universe/your higher self are your lessons, and if you face them and deal with them honestly and directly, you will learn and progress.

Well this is nicely said and it sounds great, but what does it mean 'honestly' and 'directly'?
We are all driven by so many programs that it's likely to expect how most of what we consider to be our honest and direct act is just another program running... So, in order to learn and to progress one needs to observe his/her reactions/actions and not to identify with any of them. Calling our own actions 'honest' is basically a joke on us, at this stage of our existence. I doubt any of us knows for sure what 'honest I' looks like... But we can be honest about acknowledging how little we are a masters of our own actions and that's the only Honest point for true Work to start.

He also advised to pay particular attention when an event or person aroused strong emotion, as it is an indication that there is something important to be learned there.

I agree, also I find it very hard to see anything clearly at the moment strong emotions arise. There is a lesson, but usually one can't do much at the moment except acknowledging the emotions and as suggested before, keeping it under your neck. It really helps. It may be just me but the real work comes only after, when 'digging' inside of me about it all, what could of caused those emotions and it's usually very hard and painful to get to the bottom of it, just when one thinks he got till the end of it - new level appears... I also find many connected programs, one triggers other and so on... It's everyday's Work and it goes on and on

In light of that, I've never believed in "coincidences" when it comes to emotionally charged situations. I try to sit up and consciously take notice, and always assume that there is an underlying purpose which will eventually become apparent to me. I'm not saying that you should share my belief/approach, or that it even reflects reality, I'm just trying to explain where I'm coming from on that.

Sorry, but not sure what do you try to say with all this. 'Coincidental' emotional charged situations you don't 'believe in'? What does that mean?
And the rest I don't get since this forum has many threads talking about the Work, so not sure what are you actually proposing here as your belief/approach except a usual reaction to sit down and reflect to what happened. Even that, the way you put it

always assume that there is an underlying purpose which will eventually become apparent to me.

reads very strange to me.... What does that really mean?

 

[T.C.]

Over the last couple of weeks, and especially the last few days, I have been preparing thoroughly for my new job, doing Qigong every morning, and doing more research and reading, and posting to the forum. All this has created energy and awareness in me.

Okay.

What kind of job is it? sounds like you're going to war or something?

This afternoon, some of that energy was eaten by an agent. The person in question is someone I have known for several years, but he has never shown any interest in 'SoTT' material or inner work. As soon as he arrived at my home this afternoon, he began to talk AT me, offloading his latest work and family news. For my part, a 'make nice' program kicked in, and even as I felt my energy being drained, I just felt really uncomfortable, wishing it would stop, and since I am a 'nice guy', I made no attempt to stop him or divert his flow of talk.

Someone who is basically 'asleep' ran some internally considerate programmes, and it seems instead of seeing the person in this way, and sympathising with their condition, you also ran internally considerate programmes. External consideration is just as much of a way of retaining energy as anything else.

I felt it was an impersonal happening: observing his eyes, I noticed that he seemed to be running on autopilot.

You saw his automatic nature no problem. But it sounds like you 'objectified' this person. Is it possible that in your preparation for this new job, you've gone into a kind of 'superhuman mode'? Thereby denying you own negative traits, and then projecting them onto this probably innocent associate.

I also wonder if my 'make nice' program was somehow amplified or intensified by some outside influence, as I seemed to be well and truly caught in its spell.

I think this sounds a bit paranoid and obsessive. You can't control much in the outer world - whether it be automatic people, psychic vampires or 4th density technology. But you can have an effect on your inner world. Just think about that in relation to your post.

Thomas C

 

[Ruth]

R you implying your friend is either OP or has such low awareness that matrix easily used him as proxy server?
When you say : The matrix was able to send this agent coz I had not paid enough attention, what do you mean - can you be more specific and describe the situation exactly?

I was under the impression that STS tends to 'steal' or 'take' energy, to live off. I suppose you could say its the parasitic way of life that we are all leading. They (we?) eat to live.

So many people just don't realise this, or they are programmed to be a compliant energy source (those 'be nice' programs). It is possible that Mada85 was just waking up to a process that previously he may have been unaware of....

Its also interesting to note that OPs (as well as 1st and 2nd density beings) are only taking part in the short wave cycle because we are. And this may have something to do with our 'fall' from STO to STS. I'm not sure if all STS takes part in this short wave cycle by default, or if it is something unique to 3D.... Afterall, 4D seems to have such looong lifespans.

Also, being aware of something may also facilitate a protection from it. Kind of like a vaccine.

 

[seek10]

Over the last couple of weeks, and especially the last few days, I have been preparing thoroughly for my new job, doing Qigong every morning, and doing more research and reading, and posting to the forum. All this has created energy and awareness in me. This afternoon, some of that energy was eaten by an agent. The person in question is someone I have known for several years, but he has never shown any interest in 'SoTT' material or inner work. As soon as he arrived at my home this afternoon, he began to talk AT me, offloading his latest work and family news. For my part, a 'make nice' program kicked in, and even as I felt my energy being drained, I just felt really uncomfortable, wishing it would stop, and since I am a 'nice guy', I made no attempt to stop him or divert his flow of talk.

.

I always end up facing this situation on a daily basis. The company in which I work, making groups, gathering info. on what others are doing constantly , outwit others in deceiving is part of every day life. Tthough I decided to not to enter the territory, still I need to write annual goals , career development plans etc. which needs input from others. Of course I am trying to slow the process of demise of Job in the process.
I depend on one of my friend who are ethnically related who gives me this information and guides me. when he comes I feel the same ( blowing the sand castle of perceived energy ). But If I look at the situation, It is me who asked for information on how STS world of corporate hierarchy for my survival , but I end up disassociated and internally blaming him, thought I know it is selfish ness.
Many times even if we have no work with him , our rebellious predator wants to go on feeding "for a change" or says" feeled bored" or "I need this or that" or "only one more time" or "I know what is happening , I am in control" which can easily be a situation , you your self will poke others.

C's comments are interesting on this.
---------------
Q: (L) In other words, you are saying that a slow painful death gives them the most of what they want? This is totally
sick.
A: You asked for truth. You say it is sick but it is merely the ultimate form of service to self. (At this point A***
described reading a passage in a book which stated that Native Americans believed a slow torturous death of an enemy
gave them more power.)
------------------
Think

 

[hungrig]

Not sure this is related.

But...around some people I become feel very dizzy.

It very often happens when lets say having dinner with many other people. Or just beeing around certain people. That I start too feel a squeeze in and out from my head. I loose concentration, I get tired, dissoactive, time prspective losing, nearly falling faint before I do fall faint.

It's like 'today somebody ate my energie' but not by "feeling attacked" but literary become drained with physical bi-effects. I often become pale, cold, tired in my eyes and shaky till I faint.

Last christmas I had too leave in middle of the dinner, too get a drive home and sleep. Not that often I meet my draining relatives, but it the same every Xmas!! Some people are easy to be around and with some people my stammina ani't even enough to run before collapse.

 

[Meg]

Hi Mada, Thanks for posting. I have learned a lot from the responses as well. It's amazing how the negative introject worms its way into everything:)

My father was very intense and dominating; he fits the description of narcissistic parents I have read in the Golomb and Pressman books. I actually have almost no memories of my childhood before the age of about 9 or 10, just a few isolated snapshots here and there, and over the years have tried to piece together what it was like from various clues in my own programs. One program that was ingrained in me from my childhood is that 'others are always right' – my father is a person who presents his opinions as facts that are not to be argued with. Even now, whenever I tell him about something I enjoy, he can always tell me of how it could be improved, or that he knows something better. I think he is unable to understand or enjoy another's enjoyment.

Same here. Abusive as well and has a graduate degree in Psychology. (Talk about mind flips) Reading Trapped in the Mirror and Myth of Sanity, tells me that the programs that occur as a result of this relationship have colored all the relationships I have had. I understand programs (so far) to simply be an automated reaction to 'stimulus'. Any 'stimulus' received that remotely resembles the interactions with my father trigger those programs. Work, school, friendships...

You can't control much in the outer world - whether it be automatic people, psychic vampires or 4th density technology. But you can have an effect on your inner world. Just think about that in relation to your post.

It makes me wonder..we can probably legitimately blame people for the programs- parents etc., but there isn't much of a solution in that. It's really just my response or programmed reaction to them that I have control over. If that's true, then knowing that takes some of the power out of the programs in a way.. osit

Meg

 

[MikaelYosef]

This thread was the closest to what I thought was an interesting sidenote for the article posted today in 'High Strangeness' on SoTT. (_http://www.sott.net/article/313535-Japanese-master-can-control-animals-with-the-power-of-chi)

The video at the end is particularly interesting. I've personally experienced Qigong from a Chinese practitioner about 15 years ago. It's purpose was to try and heal a medical issue in me - despite it not being successful as described via an interpreter, and that I basically 'had to heal myself instead', what was experienced was definitely real and unusual.

The point is though, having witnessed something which isn't mainstream and now seeing the guy do his thing to the animals in the video - imagine the kind of tricks the bad guys can do to people? How many times have you suddenly felt tired or zapped of energy for no particular reason? Sure it could be chemical or a natural part of your biorhythms, or your diet, or your mental state. But perhaps not always.