Under attack?

[Alma.Innovadora]

Hi there,

Again, I come to you because I've been trying to do most of my work. Through experience, and less dependence on the forum. But lately I've been getting attack every time I try to achieve a goal. I fought my addiction to pornography and in my quest to have real friends are fruitless. I've been through a very toxic relationship, I endured but when I tried to finish this relationship. I have had attacks through dreams. Thing and go several times followed and I have the suspicion that have been being food involved in relationships that are very problematic.

These experiences have led me to know a lot about my ego, my shortcomings. Reflection. Every so often a person in my life that leaves a significant imprint on my pops. But all ends badly. It's like I always adviser, assistant of their problems.

I had a dream where reptilian beings told me again and again that I was his food and would not allow me free. I was his food and would fight to continue keeping me that way. A constant struggle with them. Another dream where I was waking up inside a capsule and heard a voice say "is awakening"... all this after detecting toxic relationships from women who wanted to get involved emotionally with me. Women with severe traumas that I care... but somehow I can not detect the damage when it's too late.

I read that vagrants have no evil beings, it is difficult to detect in others. I read about unconditional love 4D and I read about conditional love 3D... I read and read... but these dreams do not leave me alone being attacked... and again ... Paralysis Sleep became very strong that it seemed that I woke up before the signs of "awakening" of my body reach the brain ... suicidal thoughts have wanted to go back to my mind... I do not know if I've been holding enough the attack and now it has intensified more...

I lost myself I came back I egocentric, pedantic, despot... sick of it all... and the toxic relationship helped me know exactly it... like attracts like... but when I can find the reason, weakness, something upset me again...

Can not find the right balance where accept reality, outside the consdieración, and prevent an indifference to life again. How to be altruistic in an environment not conducive to be true to yourself?...

How to continue alone, without people with the same goal?... Much resentment kept for a long time... and now I've managed to identify... forgive, and forgive myself... everything seems more difficult... I read about the dark side of cupido... I do not know that is failing ... or if you are paying off and that the attack intensifies ... I feel desperate.

I need a reflection... thanks.

 

[whitecoast]

Hi Raison d'être, I'm really sorry for the suffering in your relationship. Often when we make bad decisions, it's because we're not really able to think properly. This is often caused by stress, bad diet, and being emotionally triggered by people. It's good to try and get rid of bad habits and people, but sometimes we don't have enough free will or dopamine to do so. Improving our diet and practicing EE can be a good start to helping us deal with stress, and increase our ability to see reality better so we can make better choices. I think working toward conditions where you can eat and de-stress as much as possible would be a good first step. From there you can build on the little successes to make greater life choices. Best of luck, and don't get discouraged. Rome wasn't built in a day.

Edit: you may also enjoy listening to the sott radio talk on health and psi phenomena (Jan 29 2016), since they talk about how to reduce incidents of sleep paralysis through diet.

 

[Alma.Innovadora]

Hi Raison d'être, I'm really sorry for the suffering in your relationship. Often when we make bad decisions, it's because we're not really able to think properly. This is often caused by stress, bad diet, and being emotionally triggered by people. It's good to try and get rid of bad habits and people, but sometimes we don't have enough free will or dopamine to do so. Improving our diet and practicing EE can be a good start to helping us deal with stress, and increase our ability to see reality better so we can make better choices. I think working toward conditions where you can eat and de-stress as much as possible would be a good first step. From there you can build on the little successes to make greater life choices. Best of luck, and don't get discouraged. Rome wasn't built in a day.

Edit: you may also enjoy listening to the sott radio talk on health and psi phenomena (Jan 29 2016), since they talk about how to reduce incidents of sleep paralysis through diet.

Thanks for the reply.

If the relationship was nothing ordinary. I did not feel in control of myself. unconscious aspects surfaced in an unfavorable manner because the other person was highly conditional and emotional. Undoubtedly, the idealization and personal needs was part of the experience. I just do not think even these needs were very strong in me. A great death of illusion, I might say.

Share space in my workplace with her, and balance the emotions in this environment is a whole reto. She has a energy to change the mood in other in an incredible way.

We only had a friendship, with the possibility of having a relationship. I decided not to have a relationship with it because it is a very depressed girl, with deep family and friends problems, someone who needs the validation of people. The strangest thing that has happened to me in toxic relationships, is that this is the second girl who has problems also with high strangeness. She says her dead brother usually respond in trance states and she is not conscious.

Childhood trauma, personal shortcomings, and ghosts... does not seem a good package. It is not something that can contribute to a healthy relationship, and it was. But at some point I let my guard down, and the results obviously they turned against me.

I dont know English. I can not listen to that radio specifically. But I found some in Spanish which can also instruct. I usually help of a translator. I can not do much for the diet. Foods are not found and are very expensive. Rather I lost a lot of weight to avoid most of bad food. This has led me to have low energy.

Well... when I can understand situation by acquiring constant knowledge on a specific circumstances, then I can better balance things. low stress a bit, I understand that I bear my part in this lesson and let go if necessary. I have to do e.e. sessions, twice.

Thank you very much!

 

[Martina]

I'm moody myself lately because of weather, my job...bla bla (I don't want to go into that right now so I ate some chocolate and an old drunk attacked me on a street and you know in which fashion. Unbelievable.
What I've realized is that with time by trying to stay aware as much as possible and taking care of diet and breathing and focusing on something that gives me joy, helps me recover easily and faster. I have a friend at work with whom I try to think something to be thankful every day for when we drive to work. We were only complaining and I got sick of it.
I have to go on work now but maybe something like that might help. You have to give me the hope that there are some normal people around us

 

[Alma.Innovadora]

You have to give me the hope that there are some normal people around us

For me to have a "hope" was anchor me even more to the expectation of an ideal person... waiting for something from the "outside". I cherish a desire with anticipation, I explained well? Now I have over 12 years only. Moodiness, addiction, apathy, stress, judgment, resentment. I'm paying the price for myself face me. But knowledge has protected. A passing sadness. I look for a real connection. I'm sick of friends only drink (alcohol), parties, and platitudes that only contribute to the destruction and distraction lethargic. "Oh great... Leonardo won the Oscar..." interesting ... yeah, sure.

I have no friends with whom to have a productive intimacy, without a real connection emotional or personal development, a reflection. The reflection comes when I mistakenly related, share my problems with someone who simply has a different level of understanding of both himself and the world... There is no collinearity. I am very emotional and empathetic when someone trusts me their problems, now that I look better... is one of many ways, but the most usual to relate to the wrong people. But if you pay attention carefully in the way they see life, give much conditioned on the manual tool with which direct their lives. And you can direct your 3D vehicle in these surprising ways.

Here it is proclaimed "living the present"... people say "live the moment"... while the first promotes the conscious and internal work, the second option is to enjoy the positive and ignore the negative, that is, to live with positivism style of the new era. Escaping face to life, their own demons, his own reflections on others... all that leads to self-discovery and just label it as negative. Only they live in escapism.

 

[Martina]

I just need to say that it's normal to be depressed if someone close to you died especially brother, and your girlfriend probably needed some compassion and needs more time for grieving process.
And maybe you weren't honest with her?

 

[Alma.Innovadora]

I just need to say that it's normal to be depressed if someone close to you died especially brother, and your girlfriend probably needed some compassion and needs more time for grieving process.
And maybe you weren't honest with her?

Sorry, I'm not understanding your point. No one has died. It is not a depression based on a physical loss of someone. She is not my girlfriend. Honest with her that make sense?

 

[koin]

Hi Raison d'être,

I have had addictions and relationships of similar nature in the past so I guess I can relate somewhat. May I ask what your native language is? You mentioned Spanish? Perhaps someone on this forum with more experience/knowledge who speaks the same language would allow you to be easier for you to explain things specifically?

Perhaps break down your problems into sections, so people who feel they can help with a particular issue can lend support?

 

[Alma.Innovadora]

Hi Raison d'être,

I have had addictions and relationships of similar nature in the past so I guess I can relate somewhat. May I ask what your native language is? You mentioned Spanish? Perhaps someone on this forum with more experience/knowledge who speaks the same language would allow you to be easier for you to explain things specifically?

Perhaps break down your problems into sections, so people who feel they can help with a particular issue can lend support?

Yes, I speak only Spanish. My English is very basic. I use a translator to communicate better. Not published in Spanish, as there is greater participation of members who speaks English.

I ended the relationship, a friendship with this person. The problem is that it is present in my day, in my work site. E.E be my key to stress management tool. But now it is coming to judge the attacks by the other co-workers for not knowing the toxic nature of this person. I need to know about the nature of these relationships. I have read many things, cognitive science, toxic emotions, Gabor Maté about shadows, Carl Jung, the dark side of Cupid. I'm going through the experience now, I need more and more information.

 

[herondancer]

Hi Raison d'être,

I have had addictions and relationships of similar nature in the past so I guess I can relate somewhat. May I ask what your native language is? You mentioned Spanish? Perhaps someone on this forum with more experience/knowledge who speaks the same language would allow you to be easier for you to explain things specifically?

Perhaps break down your problems into sections, so people who feel they can help with a particular issue can lend support?

Yes, I speak only Spanish. My English is very basic. I use a translator to communicate better. Not published in Spanish, as there is greater participation of members who speaks English.

I ended the relationship, a friendship with this person. The problem is that it is present in my day, in my work site. E.E be my key to stress management tool. But now it is coming to judge the attacks by the other co-workers for not knowing the toxic nature of this person. I need to know about the nature of these relationships. I have read many things, cognitive science, toxic emotions, Gabor Maté about shadows, Carl Jung, the dark side of Cupid. I'm going through the experience now, I need more and more information.

It's hard when so many resources seem to be only in English, but you might be able to find some reading to help you by translating the titles of some of the recommended books and searching for them or related material.

For instance this: Con piel de oveja: Comprender y tratar de la gente de manipulació by George Simon. I like Simon's book because it gives you some direct tools for dealing with difficult personalities. The book doesn't seem to be available in Spanish, but there were these links that reference it.

http://psicologiagranollers.blogspot.com/2012/08/caracteristicas-de-las-personas.html
http://psicopatia-narcisismo.blogspot.com/2008/09/afrontar-la-manipulacin-de-otras.html
http://profesordeeso.blogspot.com/2009/08/estrategias-del-narcisista-o-psicopata.html

Unfortunately, I can't judge how helpful they are (no hablo espanol ;) ) but it might be a way to get more info for the present. In the meantime, keep writing even if you need a translation program to help. Your English is pretty good even now, so you should be able to read some of the psychology books from the Recommended Books list

Keep doing EE and do the best you can with your diet. Even if you only get rid of gluten and dairy, it will help a lot.

 

[Alma.Innovadora]

It's hard when so many resources seem to be only in English, but you might be able to find some reading to help you by translating the titles of some of the recommended books and searching for them or related material.

For instance this: Con piel de oveja: Comprender y tratar de la gente de manipulació by George Simon. I like Simon's book because it gives you some direct tools for dealing with difficult personalities. The book doesn't seem to be available in Spanish, but there were these links that reference it.

http://psicologiagranollers.blogspot.com/2012/08/caracteristicas-de-las-personas.html
http://psicopatia-narcisismo.blogspot.com/2008/09/afrontar-la-manipulacin-de-otras.html
http://profesordeeso.blogspot.com/2009/08/estrategias-del-narcisista-o-psicopata.html

Unfortunately, I can't judge how helpful they are (no hablo espanol ;) ) but it might be a way to get more info for the present. In the meantime, keep writing even if you need a translation program to help. Your English is pretty good even now, so you should be able to read some of the psychology books from the Recommended Books list

Keep doing EE and do the best you can with your diet. Even if you only get rid of gluten and dairy, it will help a lot.

Interesting, Thank you so much, really....

According to what I've read there: http://profesordeeso.blogspot.com/2009/08/estrategias-del-narcisista-o-psicopata.html

I lived all together this time, my indifference has been my tool now, but it was later in a sense. The person is narcissistic, or she has been the victim of other narcissists and now she is not cosciente of their unconscious manipulations. Whatever the choice, it is dangerous for me to be near her. I suspected this for 2 years, a relationship that ended and began, again and again, did not understand rationality or rationality just was irrational for her and transformed the rationalizing to their own selfish vision.

But now, what I can do when I am pointed out by this woman in front of my colleagues, in my own workplace? Tell the truth? Expose it? when the rest of people trust her.

 

[Phill4]

Hola Raison d'être

I had a dream where reptilian beings told me again and again that I was his food and would not allow me free. I was his food and would fight to continue keeping me that way. A constant struggle with them. Another dream where I was waking up inside a capsule and heard a voice say "is awakening"... all this after detecting toxic relationships from women who wanted to get involved emotionally with me. Women with severe traumas that I care... but somehow I can not detect the damage when it's too late.

Have you tried telling them you ARE NOT? what i mean is that words have power, and you can tell them you are not going to accept being food, and keep fighting!.
can i suggest to charge salt water with "strength" or what you believe you need?

 

[Alma.Innovadora]

Hola Raison d'être

I had a dream where reptilian beings told me again and again that I was his food and would not allow me free. I was his food and would fight to continue keeping me that way. A constant struggle with them. Another dream where I was waking up inside a capsule and heard a voice say "is awakening"... all this after detecting toxic relationships from women who wanted to get involved emotionally with me. Women with severe traumas that I care... but somehow I can not detect the damage when it's too late.

Have you tried telling them you ARE NOT? what i mean is that words have power, and you can tell them you are not going to accept being food, and keep fighting!.
can i suggest to charge salt water with "strength" or what you believe you need?

Yes I do. I said "I accept the challenge and get wake up, I have surpassed things I never thought to do it because I was not aware, today I have more knowledge" and that's when my life comes a gorgon in the form of kindness and bum! but this time the lesson was masterful for my personal growth. He was on guard and constant observation and thought to miss the experience of fear. But then I thought: Something must learn from this, it will be painful, I do not know how to get out of this, but go out somehow, will not be the mejro way - and it was not very good way - but I welcome pain.

I need to assimilate that I can not place my trust in anyone, it is to provide information. All those subjectivities that we face friendship "things in common" to be more specific. The same way that Frank came to Laura's life. A person who awakened feeling of concern, care, "different", alone, compassion, etc.

 

[herondancer]

I need to assimilate that I can not place my trust in anyone, it is to provide information. All those subjectivities that we face friendship "things in common" to be more specific. The same way that Frank came to Laura's life. A person who awakened feeling of concern, care, "different", alone, compassion, etc.

Exactly. It's good to be on guard, but not to the point where you shun everyone as a possible source of attack. The lesson here may have been to become aware that a person is causing you to feel " feeling of concern, care, "different", alone, compassion, etc.". That you should note it and observe them for a bit, to see how they are handling their issues and what they may really be asking for. It may be that they do merit your concern and possible help. By taking that time to watch both them and yourself, you will have a better idea of how to meet the situation.

 

[Alma.Innovadora]

I need to assimilate that I can not place my trust in anyone, it is to provide information. All those subjectivities that we face friendship "things in common" to be more specific. The same way that Frank came to Laura's life. A person who awakened feeling of concern, care, "different", alone, compassion, etc.

Exactly. It's good to be on guard, but not to the point where you shun everyone as a possible source of attack. The lesson here may have been to become aware that a person is causing you to feel " feeling of concern, care, "different", alone, compassion, etc.". That you should note it and observe them for a bit, to see how they are handling their issues and what they may really be asking for. It may be that they do merit your concern and possible help. By taking that time to watch both them and yourself, you will have a better idea of how to meet the situation.

Regards,

I have come to the conclusion that I'm going through the moral bankruptcy...

It may be, that what I have stated above, has been a reflection of my shadows... my own needs. I feel all sorts of negative emotions arise, hate everything, avoid everything need peace, but I'm just in a spiral of depression that I can not solve or the e.e...

I'm destroying everything around me... I feel in my many selves emerge while not know how to control or absorb or help every aspect of my resolve...

Identifying my needs in other... is what has kept me in this problem... lesson... so let the forum, let the world... just looking for an escape from this pain. Every day I lose what I love.

I do not know that I'm not doing well, and I think many times before writing here, it may even be that in my unconsciousness, I am distracted from more important things. Be a source of attack for you. I feel a desperation to protect what I love, of myself.