Urn of human ashes leads to Miami airport evacuation

[rs]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070716/us_nm/security_airport_miami_dc_3;_ylt=AtYUiiz5YyTMLpKQAyD_bdoE1vAI

I know its inappropriate, but I simply cannot help but laugh out loud at this one...

2 hours, 11 minutes ago

MIAMI (Reuters) - A concourse at Miami International Airport was briefly evacuated on Monday after a luggage screener mistook an urn of human ashes and other suspicious items for a possible bomb, officials said.

Around 2,000 people were ordered out of the airport's concourse F, but allowed back in when the all-clear was given after an hour and a half, said an airport spokesman.

The false alert was partly triggered by what turned out to be a rectangular urn with human ashes, said Transport Security Administration spokeswoman Sari Koshetz.

Um, what is meant by "partly"? Either it was or it wasn't. What was the "other" part? Or is this the spokeswoman's way of spinning the utter ridiculousness of it all? I wonder if Chertoff's Gut churned over this one.

"It wasn't just that. It was also other objects in the bag that looked suspicious," Koshetz said.

Oh, thanks! this clears it up. What else was suspicious? An errant tooth brush? The mysterious wiring of a pair of headphones? That iPOD sure looks like a detonator. (I can tell you from personal experience that carrying a metal tongue scraper in your carry-on will trigger an almost certain inspection pull-aside. I guess the TSA Goons aren't too big on oral hygiene...)

 

[rise]

I was at Hougten-Hancock airport in MI this weekend for a wedding. The airport is a single terminal, so its very small. On my departure flight they had five TSA employees for a thirty person flight pulling out everything from about 20-25 checked bags. The airport is so small that they did this right in front of all the passengers. I mean they literally took everyones back and pulled everything out of it, and in the process they also had some white circle swabs and were wiping down the inside of the bags with it and then keeping them ( any idea what that is ? ). Nobody in the airport really seemed to care, it was almost like it was the "norm" there. On top of that, because its a small town they had American flags and things like "Let freedom Ring" with the liberty bell posted all around the small airport.

I know this isn't related to the Miami incident, but your post reminded me of it. And also thinking about this, do they have the manpower to do this at major airports like Miami? I know when I go through DIA (Denver) the security for carry on luggage is the same intensity, but you don't really know what they are doing with the checked luggage...

 

[anart]

I was once told that the white swabs were some sort of explosive residue testing 'thing' - that's what the security person at the airport said. Of course, they could have been making it up, perhaps someone else knows for sure.

I'm pretty certain that they do have the manpower to do it at the other airports. When I travel, my checked bags almost always end up with a TSA slip in them, and I doubt I'm 'special'.

 

[Ringo]

and in the process they also had some white circle swabs and were wiping down the inside of the bags with it and then keeping them ( any idea what that is ? )

They were testing for traces of explosives.

If they don't have the man power, you just have to wait longer. You are now advices check-in times are 3-4 hours instead or 2 before the flight at some of the bigger UK airports.

The only airport I’ve been to in the US was pretty small too. They were also very enthusiastic at being thorough. Maybe it was the large framed picture of Bush on the wall watching over them. After eventually getting through the assault course of searches, x-ray machines and 20 questions I was called forward from behind the big white line at passport control, by then I felt like asking "Is it my shoes or passport you need to see this time?", but wisely decided against possibly making someones day. :) The passport guard whilst trying to look intimidating, then reached out to stamp my son's hand with a cartoon character.."er..no your alright!" was the answer to that. They really do think of everything.

R.

 

[rise]

I guess it would make sense that they have the ability too search them all, I always get the TSA slip as well, I can't remember the last time that I didn't get it.

 

[Ringo]

What does it say? Does "Apologies for the inconvenience" appear on there anywhere :)

 

[rise]

What does it say? Does "Apologies for the inconvenience" appear on there anywhere :)

Transportation Security Administration

NOTICE OF BAGGAGE INSPECTION

To protect you and your fellow passengers, the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) is required by law* to inspect all checked baggage. As part of this process, some bags (more like all) are opened and physically inspected. Your bag was among those selected for physical inspection.

During the inspection, your bag and its contents may have been searched for prohibited items. At the completion of the inspection, the contents were returned to your bag.

If the TSA screener was unable to open your bag for inspection because it was locked, the screener may have been forced to break the locks on your bag. TSA sincerely regrets having to do this, however TSA is not liable for damage to your locks resulting from this necessary security precaution.

We appreciate your understanding and cooperation.

* Section 110(b) of the Aviation and Transportation Security Act of 2001

 

[rs]

Transportation Security Administration

NOTICE OF BAGGAGE INSPECTION

To protect you and your fellow passengers, the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) is required by law* to inspect all checked baggage. As part of this process, some bags (more like all) are opened and physically inspected. Your bag was among those selected for physical inspection.

During the inspection, your bag and its contents may have been searched for prohibited items. At the completion of the inspection, the contents were returned to your bag.

If the TSA screener was unable to open your bag for inspection because it was locked, the screener may have been forced to break the locks on your bag. TSA sincerely regrets having to do this, however TSA is not liable for damage to your locks resulting from this necessary security precaution.

If the TSA screener was unable to figure out how to open your bag in the 1 second alloted time period we give them, they will simply grab a crow bar and rip your bag open. If the latch is jammed or the zipper on the wrong side of the bag, tough. Sue us. Oh, right, we are the government, you can't sue us without our permission. Good luck getting that. Once we destroy your luggage to save, it we will wrap it in plastic wrap. If the contents of the bag spill out later, well, stuff happens. Sue us. Oh, right, see previous sentence. If we remove the TSA lock but are still unable to open the bag in the alloted 1 second, we will graciously replace the TSA lock inside the luggage before wrapping it in the plastic wrap. Which is good because those TSA locks are expensive.

We appreciate your understanding and cooperation.

Actually we could care less if you understand and if you don't cooperate, you will be severely punished and probably placed on the Do Not Fly list for hidden and mysterious reasons that you will not be able to change.

* Section 110(b) of the Aviation and Transportation Security Act of 2001

Have a nice day. This is not a suggestion, we are telling you to have a nice day.