Weird Job experience- Advice needed

[seekeroflight]

Advice, mirrors, and related experiences are welcome.

Recently (6 days ago) I got a job working at a food and coffee shop. Everyone there seemed "nice" and the place was more laid back than my last place of employment. My first day they were really busy. One of those never ending line of customers kinda days. The shift manager kept on apologizing that it was so busy, so I found things for myself to do pitching in with food preparation, cleaning, and taking orders. Every time I would try to take a customers order or make a bagel the manager would exclaim orders at me. For example: "No! don't put the bagel in the toaster like that! *Sigh* It goes face down. " I had to ask a lot of questions because they would say your not going to be doing this today without any explanation as to what I was expected to do instead.(1st time in 8 years that I've ever had to do that) I could see that it annoyed the shift manager but was at a loss for what else to do other than ask. Other oddities ensued for the three days that I worked there. Including an attempted break in. It is totally subjective but I got the impression that they were of suspicious of me based on what I heard them say and how their behavior changed.

Upon going in this morning I did all the things that were asked of me and more yet it seemed that they still thought that I could do nothing right. I believe that I rub people the wrong way so I try to be externally considerate, follow the direction that I am given and apply thought to the things I have not been taught how to do yet.(It's black and white when it comes down to it, either you like me or hate me.) About an hour into work today I saw the writing on the wall so to speak, just knew that I wasn't going to be working there anymore.

A little while later I was cleaning up around the food prep station and the manager and owner went outback for a 15 min break/chat. After the rush the shift manager asked me to follow her. We ended up outside and had a chat. She gave me this whole run down speech about the job and how important it is. I listened carefully and then she finally cut to the chase and said that they had also hired someone else as well, that she was more of a fit for them. The things she listed in their favor were also thing I did as well so I was a little irked.(I have this pet peeve - not liking it when people won't give me due credit) I said ok and asked if there was anything I could have done differently from day one. She didn't reply so I thought the conversation was done(she had by appearance checked out mentally). She paused for a long while and when I started to get up she asked me if there was anything they had done? That she was curious what my opinion was. I said “To be brutally honest I disagreed with what you are saying, that I did do all of the things you listed earlier in regards to the other employee, and even went as far as to give some examples. That it felt to me that you all thought I was completely incompetent, and that it appeared to me that you just didn't like my outward personality and were simply coming up with excuses to make yourselves feel better about the situation of letting me go. She apologized for that and said a few nice things about me which felt hollow, kinda for the sake of the situation. I asked if there was anything else she'd like me to do before I left. I did some side work that she'd asked me to do and left.

I felt torn about the whole situation and began to second guess every thing I did while working there. Once the emotional “freak out” passed I reflected on everything that happened while I was there and came to a tentative conclusion. That I rubbed them the wrong way, had worked hard, demonstrated that I could do the job well and that I just didn't fit in with the crowd that worked there.

I would appreciate anyone/everyone's opinion on this. I would really appreciate some constructive criticism with regard to this(how others would have handled it). I'm just curious if I did do something wrong.

 

[Approaching Infinity]

Advice, mirrors, and related experiences are welcome.

Recently (6 days ago) I got a job working at a food and coffee shop. Everyone there seemed "nice" and the place was more laid back than my last place of employment. My first day they were really busy. One of those never ending line of customers kinda days. The shift manager kept on apologizing that it was so busy, so I found things for myself to do pitching in with food preparation, cleaning, and taking orders. Every time I would try to take a customers order or make a bagel the manager would exclaim orders at me. For example: "No! don't put the bagel in the toaster like that! *Sigh* It goes face down. " I had to ask a lot of questions because they would say your not going to be doing this today without any explanation as to what I was expected to do instead.(1st time in 8 years that I've ever had to do that) I could see that it annoyed the shift manager but was at a loss for what else to do other than ask. Other oddities ensued for the three days that I worked there. Including an attempted break in. It is totally subjective but I got the impression that they were of suspicious of me based on what I heard them say and how their behavior changed.

Upon going in this morning I did all the things that were asked of me and more yet it seemed that they still thought that I could do nothing right. I believe that I rub people the wrong way so I try to be externally considerate, follow the direction that I am given and apply thought to the things I have not been taught how to do yet.(It's black and white when it comes down to it, either you like me or hate me.) About an hour into work today I saw the writing on the wall so to speak, just knew that I wasn't going to be working there anymore.

A little while later I was cleaning up around the food prep station and the manager and owner went outback for a 15 min break/chat. After the rush the shift manager asked me to follow her. We ended up outside and had a chat. She gave me this whole run down speech about the job and how important it is. I listened carefully and then she finally cut to the chase and said that they had also hired someone else as well, that she was more of a fit for them. The things she listed in their favor were also thing I did as well so I was a little irked.(I have this pet peeve - not liking it when people won't give me due credit) I said ok and asked if there was anything I could have done differently from day one. She didn't reply so I thought the conversation was done(she had by appearance checked out mentally). She paused for a long while and when I started to get up she asked me if there was anything they had done? That she was curious what my opinion was. I said “To be brutally honest I disagreed with what you are saying, that I did do all of the things you listed earlier in regards to the other employee, and even went as far as to give some examples. That it felt to me that you all thought I was completely incompetent, and that it appeared to me that you just didn't like my outward personality and were simply coming up with excuses to make yourselves feel better about the situation of letting me go. She apologized for that and said a few nice things about me which felt hollow, kinda for the sake of the situation. I asked if there was anything else she'd like me to do before I left. I did some side work that she'd asked me to do and left.

I felt torn about the whole situation and began to second guess every thing I did while working there. Once the emotional “freak out” passed I reflected on everything that happened while I was there and came to a tentative conclusion. That I rubbed them the wrong way, had worked hard, demonstrated that I could do the job well and that I just didn't fit in with the crowd that worked there.

I would appreciate anyone/everyone's opinion on this. I would really appreciate some constructive criticism with regard to this(how others would have handled it). I'm just curious if I did do something wrong.

Well, from your description, it doesn't sound like this place has a very good manager! Considering that you'd just started there, and it was busy, they should have made more allowances for showing you the ropes, explaining the proper procedures, etc. I think it was right of you to ask questions, and I'm not sure how you could've handled it differently. Did you have any training for the job, or did they just expect you to jump right in and know exactly what to do?

 

[Torstone]

Hi seekeroflight

Sounds like an interesting experience indeed.
It feels obvious to me that when starting in a new job you are bound to ask questions, and not doing so is a sign for the employer that you are passive and maybe not cut out for the job.
Being hurled right in to a new job is never easy, but at least you will be forced to learn fast right? :)
Thats why it seems weird to me that the shift manager became annoyed that you tried to contribute and ask questions (although i think can understand why, high stress-level, many customers and of top of that have to teach a "newbie", but that is her problem and nothing to *sigh* over if you try your best).

I believe that I rub people the wrong way so I try to be externally considerate, follow the direction that I am given and apply thought to the things I have not been taught how to do yet.

In the job i had this summer i tried to do the same, and I think I can relate to what you say about "rubbing people the wrong way".
What stroke me when i tried to be "externally considerate" and apply this on the top of trying to do my job as best as I could was that I started to act very weird in relation to those i worked with.
Becoming all to sensitive to everything and everybody around me, my ability to talk normally to other people became very reduced and I acted very tense while trying to be polite and not step on any toes both when talking and working. I can only guess that in the beginning I came out as a pretty odd fellow.

Luckily those I worked with were very nice people who helped me feel more comfortable as time went by.
Sounds like you were not so lucky, not saying you experienced the same thing as me, maybe you got a bad first impression when you started.
Coming to your first workday, an "never ending line of customers kinda day" and not knowing what to do or how to contribute sounds pretty stressful and having to "get in the way" of the others might be experienced as irritating from their point of view.

In the end it comes down to what you could learn from the short but turbulent experience, from what I read in your conclusion it seems that you have thought about out all aspects pretty well, and it seems that they had almost made up their minds about what kinda person they thought you were almost the second you met up for work.

 

[Gonzo]

In a busy shop, new people taking the initiative without knowing precise procedures slows things down. by not asking what you should do and instead jumping in and trying hard might have seemed like a great idea but can actually be a sign of disrespect to those who already know everything. It might have seemed like you were a know-it-all and thought what they were doing was rather simple, that anyone with no training could do it, hence not fitting in.

The manager failed in being prepared to show you the ropes and keep you occupied.

It might have been beneficial, each and every time you felt bored or needed a task, to ask the shift manager what you should be doing next. This would have been seen as taking the initiative but not assuming anything.

My $0.02, for what it's worth.

Gonzo

 

[seekeroflight]

Thanks to all that have replied:)

Did you have any training for the job, or did they just expect you to jump right in and know exactly what to do?

I think it might have been a little of both. I wasn't sure so I would ask and I jumped in wherever I could to help but it made it worse somehow. Most of the time I would rarely if ever get an answer. I'd do other things to try to stay out of the way, take customer orders, make sandwiches, burritos, essentially take initiative asking questions as I went along. I worked in a place that was similar to this establishment recently for more than a year so I had some idea what the job would be like.

During the interview and on the job posting they had: "MUST TAKE INITIATIVE!!!!" if not don't apply.

 

[Gonzo]

Sorry if I misunderstood. I didn't get from your post that you were asking questions. From what I read, it seemed you had tried to be helpful by jumping in to do things, only to find you weren't doing some things the way they would have liked. I assumed you were doing things of your own initiative during a void of guidance. If I misinterpreted you, I apologize.

But if there were occasions where you actually did just jump in without first asking what you could do or how you could be useful, then I think that might have been were the issue lay.

Since the manager apologized for it being so busy, I figured that indicated they were going to train you in certain areas but things got too busy to have a newbie's inexperience get in the way of their well oiled machine.

In a way, it's a bit of a setup. Taking the initiative could mean two things: asking for direction when one is idle or finding a way to be helpful. They might have meant the former while you interpreted it as the latter.

It sounds unprofessional enough that I wonder if you would have even been happy there anyway. Perhaps it was the universe's way of sending you a message, like, for example how things that seem to have one meaning can actually have other meanings to other people and the value of trying to see beyond one's preconceptions or interpretations.

I hope this doesn't put you in too much of a bind and that better opportunities are just around the corner.

Gonzo

 

[seekeroflight]

Hi seekeroflight

Sounds like an interesting experience indeed.
It feels obvious to me that when starting in a new job you are bound to ask questions, and not doing so is a sign for the employer that you are passive and maybe not cut out for the job.
Being hurled right in to a new job is never easy, but at least you will be forced to learn fast right? :)
Thats why it seems weird to me that the shift manager became annoyed that you tried to contribute and ask questions (although i think can understand why, high stress-level, many customers and of top of that have to teach a "newbie", but that is her problem and nothing to *sigh* over if you try your best).

I believe that I rub people the wrong way so I try to be externally considerate, follow the direction that I am given and apply thought to the things I have not been taught how to do yet.

In the job i had this summer i tried to do the same, and I think I can relate to what you say about "rubbing people the wrong way".
What stroke me when i tried to be "externally considerate" and apply this on the top of trying to do my job as best as I could was that I started to act very weird in relation to those i worked with.
Becoming all to sensitive to everything and everybody around me, my ability to talk normally to other people became very reduced and I acted very tense while trying to be polite and not step on any toes both when talking and working. I can only guess that in the beginning I came out as a pretty odd fellow.

Luckily those I worked with were very nice people who helped me feel more comfortable as time went by.
Sounds like you were not so lucky, not saying you experienced the same thing as me, maybe you got a bad first impression when you started.
Coming to your first workday, an "never ending line of customers kinda day" and not knowing what to do or how to contribute sounds pretty stressful and having to "get in the way" of the others might be experienced as irritating from their point of view.

In the end it comes down to what you could learn from the short but turbulent experience, from what I read in your conclusion it seems that you have thought about out all aspects pretty well, and it seems that they had almost made up their minds about what kinda person they thought you were almost the second you met up for work.

Thanks for sharing your experience torstone, it helped me put mine in more of a perspective:)

For working there for three days I did learn a lot about others and how much is too much external consideration in regards to the type of people I was working with. What I found odd was that the personality that got me the interview and job resulted in what got me fired. Something must have happened in the 12 hour period after I met with both the shift manager and owner to my first day of work. I asked during the we are letting you go chat and she couldn't or didn't want to answer. From what I could tell she was "checking out" a lot during that conversation, perhaps wasn't able to because of trauma related to confrontation.

 

[seekeroflight]

Sorry if I misunderstood. I didn't get from your post that you were asking questions. From what I read, it seemed you had tried to be helpful by jumping in to do things, only to find you weren't doing some things the way they would have liked. I assumed you were doing things of your own initiative during a void of guidance. If I misinterpreted you, I apologize.

Thanks for the feedback Gonzo. I see your point, I didn't do a great job of asking, I should have made more of an effort to be clear.

But if there were occasions where you actually did just jump in without first asking what you could do or how you could be useful, then I think that might have been were the issue lay.

It was sort of a necessity to just jump in because of the lack of communication on the shift manager and owners part. The other people I worked with were very helpful when they noticed this going on. They would whisper to me what I could do and how when management wasn't looking. In hindsight I should have thought about that more.

Since the manager apologized for it being so busy, I figured that indicated they were going to train you in certain areas but things got too busy to have a newbie's inexperience get in the way of their well oiled machine.

That is what I thought as well. But it never happened. Management made it clear my second day that they were not going to have the time train me because there was an attempted break in so they were all preoccupied with police statements and the investigation.

In a way, it's a bit of a setup. Taking the initiative could mean two things: asking for direction when one is idle or finding a way to be helpful. They might have meant the former while you interpreted it as the latter.

I knew that from my last job, during the questions portion of the interviews I asked both of them. They both told me that asking them what I could do to help was what they considered initiative.

It sounds unprofessional enough that I wonder if you would have even been happy there anyway. Perhaps it was the universe's way of sending you a message, like, for example how things that seem to have one meaning can actually have other meanings to other people and the value of trying to see beyond one's preconceptions or interpretations.

I hope this doesn't put you in too much of a bind and that better opportunities are just around the corner.

Gonzo

I don't think that I would have been happy working there for very long. I'm glad I got the opportunity to work there and learn about myself and others. It reminded me that you have the opportunity to learn more by taking part.
I'm not too worried, I should be able to get another job soon :)

 

[Gonzo]

I was thinking a little more about your experience and it occurred to me that it might have had nothing to do with you. Perhaps them shift manager was forced to hire someone (relative/friend of owner perhaps?) and had to let you go.

One thing I have been working on lately is trying to learn that things don't always have to involve me even though they affect me. For example, due to chronic pain other health factors, I worry I don't perform as well as others. I can occasionally be forgetful and distracted and when it happens and affects a project timeline or makes a deliverable late, I worry for my job. I will stew about it and start seeing things that might have nothing to do with me. For example, if my boss seems upset around the time I feel I screwed up, I connect the two and worry about my job. Every time it has happened, I later find out it had nothing to do with me. This insecurity, I believe, is a form of self importance, although it actually feels like the exact opposite.

Just a thought.

Gonzo

 

[Buddy]

This insecurity, I believe, is a form of self importance, although it actually feels like the exact opposite.

Just a thought.

Gonzo

Well, it may be, but my understanding is that it is very, very hard to take full responsibility in a problem domain if you don't have a corresponding level of knowledge, authority and control over the work. And if you did have that level of control it would be unusual, indeed. That right there is plenty enough reason to feel insecurity , I reckon. :)

 

[nobodyslave]

Hi seekeroflight,

Perhaps them shift manager was forced to hire someone (relative/friend of owner perhaps?) and had to let you go.

That’s exactly what I was thinking while reading your first post.

(I have this pet peeve - not liking it when people won't give me due credit)

IMO certain pet peeves we have can teach us a great deal about ourselves and how we treat others. Why do you need due credit from others if you feel you have done all you could? Or, is it possible that in the past you have treated people in the same manner and refuse to accept that you too are capable of this type of behavior?

If I find myself in a situation that gets under my skin, I try to look for the lesson. The answer becomes a lot clearer once I know the question.

I hope this helps. Good luck with the job hunting. :)

 

[seekeroflight]

Hi seekeroflight,

Perhaps them shift manager was forced to hire someone (relative/friend of owner perhaps?) and had to let you go.

That’s exactly what I was thinking while reading your first post.

(I have this pet peeve - not liking it when people won't give me due credit)

IMO certain pet peeves we have can teach us a great deal about ourselves and how we treat others. Why do you need due credit from others if you feel you have done all you could? Or, is it possible that in the past you have treated people in the same manner and refuse to accept that you too are capable of this type of behavior?

If I find myself in a situation that gets under my skin, I try to look for the lesson. The answer becomes a lot clearer once I know the question.

I hope this helps. Good luck with the job hunting. :)

Thanks for your input nobodyslave. I agree that knowing your pet peeves can teach you about yourself and the manner in which you treat others. I was upset about losing this job because I had an expectation in my mind about how it would go instead of being open to possibilities. When I'm in a situation that is getting under my skin I check in and see how I am breathing, what state my body from feet to head, then if need be I make adjustments, and then ask myself why. It has worked really well for me so far. On a side note I am excited about hitting the pavement so to speak this coming week armed with new leads and a better state of mind.