When forgiveness turns toxic

[Jones]

Was listening to the following Disaffected Podcast yesterday. Josh introduces with a monologue on forgiveness where he addresses Erika Kirks forgiveness of Charlies assassin and another incident where a father forgives the boy who stabbed his son to death. Josh also talks about his posts on SM about the abuse he suffered at the hands of his mother and how replies come telling him to forgive her. He has tried to get those that who reply to define what they mean by that. He also interviews Harrison Koehli, editor of Political Ponerology they talk about the subject through the lense of the study of pathology.

During the podcast, Josh mentions the writings of Paul Dohse who addresses what he refers to 'Carte Blanche Forgiveness' on his blog 'Pauls Passing Thoughts'. Dohse has written six articles on the subject with the basic premise that many current teachings or social expectations about forgiveness are false, manipulative and lead to spiritual tyranny. He addresses the illogical presuppositions that the false practices of forgiveness rely on.

A two-part series by Dohse:

Why Church is the Perfect Storm of Evil: Carte Blanche Forgiveness, Part 1

“With all of the hoopla about anger over being wronged turning to ‘bitterness,’ and thus destroying us, where is the same angst about people being destroyed by guilt? Yes friends, that …

paulspassingthoughts.com

Why Church is the Perfect Storm of Evil: Carte Blanche Forgiveness, Part 2

“However, the quality of the judge, or conscience, is determined by how it is informed. The law determines the judge. Therefore, how does carte blanche forgiveness inform the collective conscience …

paulspassingthoughts.com

 

[nicklebleu]

Thanks for posting, @Jones - much food for thought.

 

[Kika]

The proposed texts refer to the Protestant form of Christianity, I am not familiar with it.

I grew up in a Catholic environment.
I think that we could be in a more favorable situation in this regard, because of the "Seven Holy Sacraments" of which; 4. Sacrament of Reconciliation - Confession - Penance

Of course, the emphasis is on the church and priests and that forgiveness is sought from God, but what I consider important is that the exact prescribed way in which forgiveness is sought/received is prescribed.

1.Confession
The person seeking forgiveness should know their sins (in thought, word, deed, omission), they should meaningfully state/confess them.

2.Repentance
One should express remorse for the actions they have committed that they consider to be sins, express hatred/disapproval of such actions, and make a firm decision to improve and not sin again.

Only after that comes the act of 3. Forgiveness.

So there is no forgiveness for someone who;
- does not ask for forgiveness,
- does not know or does not believe that he has done anything wrong,
- does not repent for the actions he has committed and therefore has no intention of changing

I think these are quite good guidelines in everyday interaction with people.

Now the part about the sin of unforgiveness.

On the list of the “Seven Deadly Sins”, something that would be closest is point 6. Anger.

If we equate unforgiveness with obsessive anger, then we can “squeeze” it into the list of deadly sins, but unforgiveness of another’s sin is not explicitly on the list.

But there is one particular sin; “Sin against the Holy Spirit”
It is defined as a grave offense against the Holy Spirit (the third person of the Holy Trinity). A person commits it when he persists in sin, refusing to repent.