Where I'm at

[Aldo]

Hi everybody,

As part of inner work I am trying to look within and see what I have been ignoring or misinterpreting. Also keeping in mind the fact that I chose to experience this reality and learn lessons from my exact circumstances. It seems that I am surrounded by good people in my life, both family and friends but it feels like I need to go somewhere on my own and not have any outside influence in my daily decision making. Not to sound egotistical, but I find myself as a bridge between people and constantly being drawn into people's life stories and inner thoughts as a "sympathetic ear". This usually leaves me alone and tightly wound up with my own thoughts and feelings, left to be dealt with at some other time.

I have been coming to the realization that this is something very important that I need to be working on. But in a practical sense how am I to do this? Disconnect from people I know, withdraw from social settings, move away? Even work feels like a sort of misstep, considering the state of the world/economy is it worth putting time and effort into a new business venture? I like to approach life with a happy go lucky attitude, and with that I try to apply a practical filter at times. As I have mentioned in some of my other posts, I can't help but feel a bit lost. I have what I think is a decent sense of the work I need to do, but I don't feel capable or able to motivate myself as I have in the past.

As we are all doing the work on ourselves to be able to progress and ascend to higher levels, I just want to know I am focusing on the right things and hopefully avoiding pitfalls as best I can. Is the cliche really true, is the first step the hardest? I am tired of thinking I know something really important and true that reshapes the reality I knew but then lack the ability to apply it in any real sense.

Aldo

P.S.
Sorry for the rant, I just needed to get that out there.

 

[3DStudent]

Hi Aldo,

Sometimes we do need to distance ourselves from others and give time to ourselves. I have the opposite problem, where I need to reach out and connect more with others. I'm not sure I understand your problem, but there are plenty of things to do, if you read the various threads on the forum. From diet, reading, Eiriu Eolas, exercise, and more. You can start with whatever interests you and then fine tune things as you go.

 

[Cosmos]

It seems that I am surrounded by good people in my life, both family and friends but it feels like I need to go somewhere on my own and not have any outside influence in my daily decision making. Not to sound egotistical, but I find myself as a bridge between people and constantly being drawn into people's life stories and inner thoughts as a "sympathetic ear". This usually leaves me alone and tightly wound up with my own thoughts and feelings, left to be dealt with at some other time.

I think it would be helpful to share more information on what you are thinking is going on there. More specific descriptions would be helpful. We need more data. Like for example: specific situations and happenings that have lead you to this idea.

 

[Aldo]

I think it would be helpful to share more information on what you are thinking is going on there. More specific descriptions would be helpful. We need more data. Like for example: specific situations and happenings that have lead you to this idea.

I have come to this idea for a few reasons. Mainly the feeling I have been experiencing recently is one of exhaustion and low energy while talking to people. When I get on the phone with one of my friends to catch up I start to feel tired and kind of disconnected from the conversation. I am able to listen and retain the subject, but in the past when I was having a similar conversation I would feel engaged and my whole body would even start to warm up at certain points. Now I just feel heavy and drifty, almost like my conscience disconnects and begins to wander. This also happens when I see friends/family in person as well. I feel that a lot of the people in my life are unknowingly draining energy from me.

Plus I have always put myself in a passive position with many people, I typically take the easy-going don't rock the boat approach and now that has become a hindrance for me.

 

[Voyageur]

Now I just feel heavy and drifty, almost like my conscience disconnects and begins to wander.

Hello Aldo, have you perhaps had a look at this tread, specifically NeurOptimal? Of course as Pashalis brought up, there are so many aspects that are left unsaid here (sleep, diet et cetera) that may in fact add causative fuel to what you are saying.

 

[monotonic]

I have come to this idea for a few reasons. Mainly the feeling I have been experiencing recently is one of exhaustion and low energy while talking to people. When I get on the phone with one of my friends to catch up I start to feel tired and kind of disconnected from the conversation. I am able to listen and retain the subject, but in the past when I was having a similar conversation I would feel engaged and my whole body would even start to warm up at certain points. Now I just feel heavy and drifty, almost like my conscience disconnects and begins to wander. This also happens when I see friends/family in person as well. I feel that a lot of the people in my life are unknowingly draining energy from me.

That is pretty much exactly how I felt 24/7 before I started taking Allithiamine. Check out Keyhole's thiamine thread.

I am tired of thinking I know something really important and true that reshapes the reality I knew but then lack the ability to apply it in any real sense.

Same. If you have really learned something then you should be seeing new possibilities - new choices, which you can utilize. It is easy to ingest vast amounts of theory while missing the ideas which can actually be put to work. For instance, if you are having trouble making a decision, flip a coin. That will get you through a lot of low-risk situations. But who would ever actually do that? It is difficult to accept that your advanced reasoning on whether to wear a blue or green shirt may have less value than the flip of a coin (being faster and less stressful). And that is the problem. The ideas which can actually be put to work often turn out to seem heavy-handed, crude, lacking in nuance, and degrading one's pride. In contrast to the expansive, beautiful, poetic world of theory, pragmatic ideas are like lepers.

Maybe one way to think about it is to ask yourself what is the fastest way to solve the problem regardless of nuance? Once you have that in mind, what is the next fastest way, that considers more factors? Gradually add more factors into the equation. This way you're not trying to solve every problem at once. You can get a clearer picture of each problem individually.