Wishfully Thinking

[Al Today]

I drive 30 minutes to work.
This drive is no pressure, has no traffic jams, no cities, is on a two-lane highway.
Such is life out here in Cornville.
Keeping my eyes out for huge corn fed deer, turkey, & drivers who live NASCAR.
Like they say here:
I'm not speeding, I'm qualifying.
I'm not tailgating, I'm drafting.
Seems like the stop signs out here are only a suggestion.
No need for a rush.
I'll get there...
Anyway...
I use the drive time for contemplation, quiet time for myself.
My emotions swept me away this morning and I need to share them.
I don't know any of you out there personally.
So I'm not going the "WE" word.
I do not have perfect knowledge and try not attempt to teach with the generic "ONE" word.
For example, "ONE" does this or "ONE" does that...
I will use the "I" word, for all these words I write come from the "ME" word.
I see and observe events unfolding before my eyes.
This morning, when I asked ASK.com to define the word "event", I got back:
Something that happens.
Something significant that happens.
Something brought about by a cause.
Something having real, demonstrable existence.
I think that the "Something" of these causal events needs to be recognized and understood.
If I can recognize something for what is, I can have an experience.
I experience events out of this Earth, on this Earth and beneath this Earth...
I gotta say, sometimes I just dunno what to think of all this.
After all, I am here in 3D.
All these concepts of dimensions, densities, time, physics, chemistry, biology, genetics, bloodlines, karma, reincarnation, cycles, our history (true & revised), religion, free will, gaining enough knowledge to even make a choice.?.?.?
That was a mouthful.
Takes time to accumulate that amount of information, you think?
As more information comes in, more pieces of the puzzle can be fit together.
I try to absorb information.
Place the information in my hip pocket..
Review old events, watch new events as they unfold so I can sift through that information.
Events tend to confirm or deny the information.
Who knows? All is possible, yes?
I try to keep an open mind.
Now for some of my selfishness program...
I have a depression that comes and goes.
I also have a joy that comes and goes.
Sometimes I can see through my emotions and can decide rationally.
And sometimes I act or say something before I observe my emotions.
Sometimes my ole Southern Baptist program kicks into gear.
And I think, why not.?.?.?
Why not look forward to death, for that is a new beginning.?.?.?
No.... I am not suicidal.
I really do love life, immensely.
I appreciate every day I have here.
I just want something to look forward to.
Have I learned enough of my lessons for this STS experience?
I hope so...
I really hope I can get outta this loop.
There has got to be something better than this.
I think I could be Wishfully Thinking here.
How can I have no anticipation when I have so much hope.?.?.?
Thanks for bending an ear.
I am in the middle of the cornfield...
I have no human here I can discuss these things with.
I use this forum every now and again to see if I am too far off the wall.
Well, I got that off my chest...
Thanks.

 

[anart]

Hi Al - well, I for one don't think you're far off the wall at all - I know the feeling you've described pretty darn well, and, whether it's wishful thinking or not, I too have to believe there is something better than this - so I'm working in my own tiny way on trying to figure out a way to get there.

 

[Al Today]

Thank you Anart.
At least I see my computer works.
It's hard to throw away those old programs.