pneumaticmatt
The Force is Strong With This One
I wanted to relay an incident that I experienced several months back that was amazing to me.
I work an 8-5 type of job.
Driving to and from work is really my quiet time due to children at home and a busy work atmosphere.
Driving home one evening, I was asking myself a few questions using my inside voice.
Normally, these questions are more of way to help me center myself and get perspective on who I am.
I remind myself to be positive, choose to be happy, focus on controlling my reactions.
I never get a response and don't really expect one, except from my own sometimes externally voiced replies
The difference this time is I started getting answers, and I felt kind of giddy about it and as I was asking these few questions, I thought to myself, neat...let me see where this goes.
Q: What is my purpose?
A: You are here to do great works.
(I had a smart-arse thought. it was like - oh, rreeeally!)
Q: What kind of great works?
A: Works of the Heart.
Chokes me up every time I think of it now.
But right at the time of the answer, I had arrived home.
I was almost in shock about hearing this answer and also to the mere fact that I was hearing this voice that had felt internal yet external at the same time. After that response I could not think of any more questions, my head was reeling.
I was actually laughing to myself at this answer.
The reason for my laughter was that this answer was and is my struggle.
Just exactly what I needed to hear. (hello...is that me in the future;))
I easily feel empathy and can get choked up by simple things.
But I struggle mightily with the concept of love. It's very difficult for me to say “I love you”.
Maybe since I rarely received attention growing up, I may have romanticized or glorified the concept of love.
In my young adult days I had been through enough partners that I do not know the count. This is not bragging, the fact was I was so into my own little mind that I didn't care to remember. Lot's of lust going on in that time frame but none of the euphoria associated with love between a man and a women.
I had never “felt” in love before I met my wife. I was never going to get married and I was going keep playing the field. I didn't want to get married because of a long list of marital problems my own parents went through. But my experience of falling in love with my wife Jenny, I thought that this was what love is suppose to feel like and I'm not giving this up. Let's get married.....
I still have a psychological block about using those words. It seems that a lot of people throw that phrase around so much it begins lose the real meaning. (subjective, of course)
Maybe my message was to let me know to quit worrying so much about this particular phrase, if this is your hang up then think of it in these terms, "works of the heart" is that not the same as love?
Of course there are many types of love, here a few examples.
From: _http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/the-6-types-of-love-which-is-yours-381365/
As I thought about the answer I had received I began to realize that I already was and had been doing works of the heart. I got very emotional about this and was crying tears of happiness that I had recognized that my contribution to how I treat my wife and children and others around me...I WAS doing works of the heart. I DO show love, even if I don't say “I Love You” very often.
I also recognize I have a lot of work to do on improving myself, breaking these programs that tell me you can't, you don't know how, your not good enough.
But that answer I received that day, easily inspires me and keeps me searching for the potential opportunity for a grand “works of the heart”!
I work an 8-5 type of job.
Driving to and from work is really my quiet time due to children at home and a busy work atmosphere.
Driving home one evening, I was asking myself a few questions using my inside voice.
Normally, these questions are more of way to help me center myself and get perspective on who I am.
I remind myself to be positive, choose to be happy, focus on controlling my reactions.
I never get a response and don't really expect one, except from my own sometimes externally voiced replies
The difference this time is I started getting answers, and I felt kind of giddy about it and as I was asking these few questions, I thought to myself, neat...let me see where this goes.
Q: What is my purpose?
A: You are here to do great works.
(I had a smart-arse thought. it was like - oh, rreeeally!)
Q: What kind of great works?
A: Works of the Heart.
Chokes me up every time I think of it now.
But right at the time of the answer, I had arrived home.
I was almost in shock about hearing this answer and also to the mere fact that I was hearing this voice that had felt internal yet external at the same time. After that response I could not think of any more questions, my head was reeling.
I was actually laughing to myself at this answer.
The reason for my laughter was that this answer was and is my struggle.
Just exactly what I needed to hear. (hello...is that me in the future;))
I easily feel empathy and can get choked up by simple things.
But I struggle mightily with the concept of love. It's very difficult for me to say “I love you”.
Maybe since I rarely received attention growing up, I may have romanticized or glorified the concept of love.
In my young adult days I had been through enough partners that I do not know the count. This is not bragging, the fact was I was so into my own little mind that I didn't care to remember. Lot's of lust going on in that time frame but none of the euphoria associated with love between a man and a women.
I had never “felt” in love before I met my wife. I was never going to get married and I was going keep playing the field. I didn't want to get married because of a long list of marital problems my own parents went through. But my experience of falling in love with my wife Jenny, I thought that this was what love is suppose to feel like and I'm not giving this up. Let's get married.....
I still have a psychological block about using those words. It seems that a lot of people throw that phrase around so much it begins lose the real meaning. (subjective, of course)
Maybe my message was to let me know to quit worrying so much about this particular phrase, if this is your hang up then think of it in these terms, "works of the heart" is that not the same as love?
Of course there are many types of love, here a few examples.
From: _http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/the-6-types-of-love-which-is-yours-381365/
As I thought about the answer I had received I began to realize that I already was and had been doing works of the heart. I got very emotional about this and was crying tears of happiness that I had recognized that my contribution to how I treat my wife and children and others around me...I WAS doing works of the heart. I DO show love, even if I don't say “I Love You” very often.
I also recognize I have a lot of work to do on improving myself, breaking these programs that tell me you can't, you don't know how, your not good enough.
But that answer I received that day, easily inspires me and keeps me searching for the potential opportunity for a grand “works of the heart”!
