FORGIVENESS TO ONESELF

Pat

Pat

Jedi Master
I am realising today that any work on oneself needs to start with an understanding that one's need to forgive oneself first. All is just lessons.
Holding memory and regrets of things we could have done differently, even better can only stop you from growing and learning...
If only I could hold on to this truth, I made mine, and get strength in my everyday life!
Looking at the sky, watching the dogs play, listening to people around having fun, even digging my hands in the earth and grow a garden are actions so calming to me and help me ground myself when the feeling of loosing the inside battle get too strong.
 
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Doing The Work is very hard isn't it? We have to face ourselves as we are the good and the bad and it is at times destablising and painful.
I am realising today that any work on oneself needs to start with an understanding that one's need to forgive oneself first. All is just lessons.
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That is a very important insight you have had and I'm happy for you!
even digging my hands in the earth and grow a garden are actions so calming to me and help me ground myself when the feeling of loosing the inside battle get too strong.
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There is something very soothing in working with ones hands. When the whole covid thing started in 2020 and I was abuptly fuloughed and the school closed for my kids my anxiety levels went into the stratosphere. Pottering about in my tiny garden and trying to grow things was deeply calming. (And it was though that that I discovered I had the fingers of death and can only really grow weeds :rotfl: ...but still it was deeply grounding and calming for me at time when I and my kids needed it!) Good luck with The Work may you grow like the plants in your garden! :hug2:
 
Pat said:
I am realising today that any work on oneself needs to start with an understanding that one's need to forgive oneself first. All is just lessons.
Holding memory and regrets of things we could have done differently, even better can only stop you from growing and learning...
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So true 🎯
I have also learned to be fully accountable of my choices and everything that comes with myself--its beauty together with its flaws. Sometimes, we may be trapped with scenarios in our head that we couldve done better or said a different thing.

I had trouble accepting myself for who I am too. I have to forgive myself over and over for the things I have done to hurt myself and also embracing that I have done what I did for the awareness I have known at that time. It is liberating to embrace who we really are according to who we come to terms with in ourselves atm.

We take back our power when we own up our weaknesses the same with our strengths.
💜💜💜
 
I found this inspiring quote from Laura in the Cs's transcript about finding/reaching the critical mass to change of DNA...

"So, it's very, very important if people want to make this transition to be like the wise virgins: keep the faith, and keep doing, keep putting one foot in front of the other day after day even though they don't see any immediate benefits for themselves. Is that what we're getting to here?"
 
I found this inspiring quote from Laura in the Cs's transcript October 14, 2014 about finding/reaching the critical mass to change the DNA...

"So, it's very, very important if people want to make this transition to be like the wise virgins: keep the faith, and keep doing, keep putting one foot in front of the other day after day even though they don't see any immediate benefits for themselves. Is that what we're getting to here?"
Very inspiring indeed, to keep networking, keep connecting, keep learning in order to reach the critical mass, while expanded our family and get help from "helpers".
 
Self-Remembering or focusing on who you truly are in meditation and then being present in the body in the here and now helps a lot too. I realize more and more that it is really the core of the Work, so to speak.

It is not any destination in the outside world that ultimately matters, but building that inner connection and living from that place of 'being truly me'. Making the choice that Self-Remembering or Self-Presence is more important than anything else I do. Intending it no matter what.
 
axj said:
Self-Remembering or focusing on who you truly are in meditation and then being present in the body in the here and now helps a lot too. I realize more and more that it is really the core of the Work, so to speak.

It is not any destination in the outside world that ultimately matters, but building that inner connection and living from that place of 'being truly me'. Making the choice that Self-Remembering or Self-Presence is more important than anything else I do. Intending it no matter what.
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The text underlined really resonates with me.
 
About forgiving oneself, I find this a practical and helpful quote

Never be a prisoner of your past. It was just a lesson, not a life sentence
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So don't beat yourself up. Try to see and accept the lessons within and move on. Your past does not define you. It is meant to prepare you.
 
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bjorn said:
About forgiving oneself, I find this a practical and helpful quote



So don't beat yourself up. Try to see and accept the lessons within and move on. Your past does not define you. It is meant to prepare you.
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Thank you bjorn for your advice.
The next step I came to, after the realisation, is how can I start forgiving myself and move on.

It doesn't seem at all an easy task. What expression of emotions do I have to look for when checking? Is it anger, sadness, regrets, impatience... what about the constant thoughts coming back "if I had made an other decisions".

I never liked "ifs". "ifs" are constant stresses, but recently they seem to come up more often. Although I try not to pay too much attention, because of the work on myself and trying to understand the lessons I am bombarded with "ifs". I wouldn't want to start over, even if I thought I would make better choices, no way. Why all those "ifs" then?
 
Pat said:
It doesn't seem at all an easy task. What expression of emotions do I have to look for when checking? Is it anger, sadness, regrets, impatience... what about the constant thoughts coming back "if I had made an other decisions".
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Those emotions can all be helpful in learning to understand what the possible lessons are.

Just know that you are not meant to dwell forever lost in guilt. Doing so can also be an ego trap. Our false personalities like to convince us that the only redemption for past mistakes is to dwell in guilt.

It's good to feel bad for past mistakes. But let it make you a better person.
 
Pat said:
Holding memory and regrets of things we could have done differently, even better can only stop you from growing and learning...
If only I could hold on to this truth, I made mine, and get strength in my everyday life!
Click to expand...

I have been looking for a long time for something that would shed a little more "light" on how to know how to forgive, could remorse be honest enough and loud enough to be heard by the universe and present you with a "second chance" where it really helps you to know how to forgive others and in the process yourself? sometimes I don't know if I am in front of a person with a great internal struggle or if it is just a "second chance" to be better attacked. It's just that sometimes telling myself "all there are lessons" can't be an excuse for what I know I did wrong, when I knew what I should have done and not necessarily that means things were going to get better or take a more positive turn, but to reveal the truth of that circumstance and accept it, so I don't have to carry remorse instead.
 
Alma.Innovadora said:
I have been looking for a long time for something that would shed a little more "light" on how to know how to forgive, could remorse be honest enough and loud enough to be heard by the universe and present you with a "second chance" where it really helps you to know how to forgive others and in the process yourself? sometimes I don't know if I am in front of a person with a great internal struggle or if it is just a "second chance" to be better attacked. It's just that sometimes telling myself "all there are lessons" can't be an excuse for what I know I did wrong, when I knew what I should have done and not necessarily that means things were going to get better or take a more positive turn, but to reveal the truth of that circumstance and accept it, so I don't have to carry remorse instead.
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Before the possibility of guilt crept in (life experience) I created an answer for myself to give to the kids once grown up and still pointing fingers at past mistakes.
I thought that if they come to me I would say that " I have done the best I could within the circumstances, with the knowledge I had and being the person I was." I would continue saying that " i can't go back, and sometimes because of the knowledge I have now, the person I am now, I wouldn't want to go back to change things."
That worked for me to 🤺 them off 😊.
 
Something I learned a long time ago, yet that took more than a decade to ctistalize and set a new motion within myself is this: We are here as a "correction" and maybe we arrived with little to fix in comparison to our general environment, so in turn we have had to 'break' many things; relationships, trust, love, etc in order so that we may eventually once again 'correct' ourselves at a deeper level. Even after years of beating ourselves up and begging for forgiveness in others, in a superior force there are many remainders, pockets of pain that come up. The tears are now a cleansing instead of a beratement. Also, the people we've hurt have moved on, many don't even understand why we would still hurt for some of the things we broke! To truly foregive oneself is a major achievement in the work on oneself, and it opens new doorways and makes room to create the reality we had always intended for ourselves but were too busy to remember,
 
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