Old times ... Expectations ... Wishful thinking

[Mililea]

Yesterday I went with my mother-in-law to a Chris de Burgh concert here in Nuremberg at the Serenadenhof. I was really looking forward to it, as I grew up with his music through my parents and still enjoy listening to his songs now.
The Serenadenhof is part of the Reichsparteitagsgelände. Even when parking, I was somehow irritated or pensive, I can't really describe the feeling. Maybe also a kind of awe or humility.

We entered the Serenade Courtyard and it really is a beautiful ambience, if you disregard everything else. Then the music started and Chris de Burgh got a standing ovation just by coming on stage. Basically the concert was really nice, he is a good musician for his age and a funny person (at least what I could judge in the short time).

About halfway through the concert he started talking about the Ukraine conflict and that Putin is a liar and so on. We know what we get in the media every day. About two thirds of the audience applauded wildly and whistled and cheered, which somehow triggered me. I couldn't enjoy the rest of the concert and felt completely out of place. He really did his best, but I felt kind of cramped in the middle of those people and then in that World War II setting....
In some way I think I'm still working on the death of my mother. It felt like I went to the concert in her place at the end. My two last memories with my mum and Chris de Burg were that one was when she chose "Songbird" as one of her songs to be played at her funeral

and the other was when I was nursing her and came back from walking the dog, she was sitting on her couch in her really terrible state (she was already emaciated to the bone and had no hair) knitting socks and singing the song "Don't pay the Ferryman" at the top of her voice. She had a sense of humour to the end....

Anyway, I won't be going to a mainstream concert any time soon. I don't think I've seen so many sheep in such a concentration in all my time at C, many of them were wearing FFP2 masks at this OPEN AIR... Another lesson learned

I really think reality hit me a bit, possible case of false expectations or even wishful thinking. Because of the atmosphere there, the music really didn't affect me at all. I couldn't block it out.

 

[hally]

It's dis-heartening at the best of times. And maybe wishful thinking in light of so many unbelievable lies that are being churned out....you are not alone.
'Don't pay the ferryman' is one of my earlier memories of Chris de Burg when I was a kid. I haven't paid for a ferry since!.....
The situation we find ourselves in today is a bit scary, frustrating, maddening and sad. I have given up watching sports, something that was such a huge part of my life, and have given up most of my social life as it's fustrating to just go along with the lie. You just want to shout 'wake up' and cop on.....but there are dark forces at work even unknown to the perpetrators... It's hard to watch with your own eyes.
Anyway, just wanted to share and acknowledge your thoughts at these strange times. All the best Mililea.

 

[finch]

Yesterday I went with my mother-in-law to a Chris de Burgh concert here in Nuremberg at the Serenadenhof. I was really looking forward to it, as I grew up with his music through my parents and still enjoy listening to his songs now.
The Serenadenhof is part of the Reichsparteitagsgelände. Even when parking, I was somehow irritated or pensive, I can't really describe the feeling. Maybe also a kind of awe or humility.
View attachment 61308
We entered the Serenade Courtyard and it really is a beautiful ambience, if you disregard everything else. Then the music started and Chris de Burgh got a standing ovation just by coming on stage. Basically the concert was really nice, he is a good musician for his age and a funny person (at least what I could judge in the short time).

About halfway through the concert he started talking about the Ukraine conflict and that Putin is a liar and so on. We know what we get in the media every day. About two thirds of the audience applauded wildly and whistled and cheered, which somehow triggered me. I couldn't enjoy the rest of the concert and felt completely out of place. He really did his best, but I felt kind of cramped in the middle of those people and then in that World War II setting....
In some way I think I'm still working on the death of my mother. It felt like I went to the concert in her place at the end. My two last memories with my mum and Chris de Burg were that one was when she chose "Songbird" as one of her songs to be played at her funeral

and the other was when I was nursing her and came back from walking the dog, she was sitting on her couch in her really terrible state (she was already emaciated to the bone and had no hair) knitting socks and singing the song "Don't pay the Ferryman" at the top of her voice. She had a sense of humour to the end....

Anyway, I won't be going to a mainstream concert any time soon. I don't think I've seen so many sheep in such a concentration in all my time at C, many of them were wearing FFP2 masks at this OPEN AIR... Another lesson learned

I really think reality hit me a bit, possible case of false expectations or even wishful thinking. Because of the atmosphere there, the music really didn't affect me at all. I couldn't block it out.

Mililea-Thats a beautiful memory of the strength of your mother........anyway!

 

[Mililea]

The situation we find ourselves in today is a bit scary, frustrating, maddening and sad. I have given up watching sports, something that was such a huge part of my life, and have given up most of my social life as it's fustrating to just go along with the lie. You just want to shout 'wake up' and cop on.....but there are dark forces at work even unknown to the perpetrators... It's hard to watch with your own eyes.

That's exactly what it was, it all became so clear to me at that moment. All those people clapping in time, holding their phones in the air. For my mother-in-law, I did my best to put on a good mood, but I was glad it was dark, because lying is not one of my strong points. She was totally thrilled.

Anyway, it was a very interesting experience for me and shows me that I seem to be dealing with exactly the right people in my life, because I never had this feeling before. I can actually be the way I am everywhere.

 

[Alma.Innovadora]

I couldn't enjoy the rest of the concert

Hi Mililea,

Perhaps what you are trying to express is that you found it disappointing that someone so wonderful and attached to a treasured memory about your mother, was on the side of the pathological agenda? What else can you see in "between"?

 

[Mililea]

Yes, I think that was part of it. And I re-read my post today and I think it's written maybe a bit muddled, I'm sorry about that. So with too little context.
I've mentioned before here in my veggie thread that I've had a difficult relationship with my mother at times and I've spent my life trying to please her and I often felt like I wasn't enough for her. I think that's why I adapted some of my behaviours to hers (like being vegetarian at the time).
And at that concert I realised or it could be that I was there for my mother, so to speak. But in the end it was good because I became aware of some things, about myself and also this skin-deep and concentrated behaviour of the people around me. It was good to experience this and for example not to clap at the statements about Putin, no matter what someone on my right or left thinks.
Maybe I was too theatrical, but I just had to share these thoughts with you.

 

[Alma.Innovadora]

this skin-deep and concentrated behaviour of the people around me.

Yes, that's what it seemed to me, but well, there you go. What I thought reading your thread, is that sometimes we should control our pathologicometer a bit too (laughs).

 

[SubnetUnMask]

Yesterday I went with my mother-in-law to a Chris de Burgh concert here in Nuremberg at the Serenadenhof. I was really looking forward to it, as I grew up with his music through my parents and still enjoy listening to his songs now.
The Serenadenhof is part of the Reichsparteitagsgelände. Even when parking, I was somehow irritated or pensive, I can't really describe the feeling. Maybe also a kind of awe or humility.
View attachment 61308
We entered the Serenade Courtyard and it really is a beautiful ambience, if you disregard everything else. Then the music started and Chris de Burgh got a standing ovation just by coming on stage. Basically the concert was really nice, he is a good musician for his age and a funny person (at least what I could judge in the short time).

About halfway through the concert he started talking about the Ukraine conflict and that Putin is a liar and so on. We know what we get in the media every day. About two thirds of the audience applauded wildly and whistled and cheered, which somehow triggered me. I couldn't enjoy the rest of the concert and felt completely out of place. He really did his best, but I felt kind of cramped in the middle of those people and then in that World War II setting....
In some way I think I'm still working on the death of my mother. It felt like I went to the concert in her place at the end. My two last memories with my mum and Chris de Burg were that one was when she chose "Songbird" as one of her songs to be played at her funeral

and the other was when I was nursing her and came back from walking the dog, she was sitting on her couch in her really terrible state (she was already emaciated to the bone and had no hair) knitting socks and singing the song "Don't pay the Ferryman" at the top of her voice. She had a sense of humour to the end....

Anyway, I won't be going to a mainstream concert any time soon. I don't think I've seen so many sheep in such a concentration in all my time at C, many of them were wearing FFP2 masks at this OPEN AIR... Another lesson learned

I really think reality hit me a bit, possible case of false expectations or even wishful thinking. Because of the atmosphere there, the music really didn't affect me at all. I couldn't block it out.

Watching others cheer on such blatant lies and self-destruction - that's so difficult and disheartening - it makes you feel instantly out of place, disconnected from these people. It brings you back to the objective reality that we have learned about, and continue to do so.

 

[tykes]

Hi Mililea, I can relate with your feelings, it is definitely frustrating and sad to witness how people you admire dearly repeat the official lies and are incapable or unwilling to think for themselves.
It happened to me with some of the greatest musicians of the past like Paul McCartney for example, I cherish his music so much that when he talks about politics or ask his fans to get vaxxed etc, I used to feel very irritated and disappointed, but after thinking about it more calmly I realized that this celebrities probably doesn’t know better, all they have (money, fame…) is product of them being In good terms with the showbizz. So it is understandable to some degree that they (with some rare exceptions) aren’t interested in challenging the official narrative.

 

[GreyCat]

Yesterday I went with my mother-in-law to a Chris de Burgh concert here in Nuremberg at the Serenadenhof. I was really looking forward to it, as I grew up with his music through my parents and still enjoy listening to his songs now.
The Serenadenhof is part of the Reichsparteitagsgelände. Even when parking, I was somehow irritated or pensive, I can't really describe the feeling. Maybe also a kind of awe or humility.
View attachment 61308
We entered the Serenade Courtyard and it really is a beautiful ambience, if you disregard everything else. Then the music started and Chris de Burgh got a standing ovation just by coming on stage. Basically the concert was really nice, he is a good musician for his age and a funny person (at least what I could judge in the short time).

About halfway through the concert he started talking about the Ukraine conflict and that Putin is a liar and so on. We know what we get in the media every day. About two thirds of the audience applauded wildly and whistled and cheered, which somehow triggered me. I couldn't enjoy the rest of the concert and felt completely out of place. He really did his best, but I felt kind of cramped in the middle of those people and then in that World War II setting....
In some way I think I'm still working on the death of my mother. It felt like I went to the concert in her place at the end. My two last memories with my mum and Chris de Burg were that one was when she chose "Songbird" as one of her songs to be played at her funeral

and the other was when I was nursing her and came back from walking the dog, she was sitting on her couch in her really terrible state (she was already emaciated to the bone and had no hair) knitting socks and singing the song "Don't pay the Ferryman" at the top of her voice. She had a sense of humour to the end....

Anyway, I won't be going to a mainstream concert any time soon. I don't think I've seen so many sheep in such a concentration in all my time at C, many of them were wearing FFP2 masks at this OPEN AIR... Another lesson learned

I really think reality hit me a bit, possible case of false expectations or even wishful thinking. Because of the atmosphere there, the music really didn't affect me at all. I couldn't block it out.

Growing up, growing older, going trough changes, is a hard thing to do. It is a process which also changes us. Some for the better, some for the worse. All in all... remember, the stupid and deluded ones are around us, always.

Some things, like music, should just be enjoyed for what they are. Not make connections because of the singer said this or that... really, there is a place and time for it, but not in something we enjoy.

 

[pinkfreud]

My heart is with you, Mililea.

Whenever I find myself in that state, I remember this passage from Journey to Ixtlan:

119: “I will never reach Ixtlan”; “Yet in my feelings… in my feelings sometimes I think I’m just one step from reaching it”; Only as a warrior can one survive the path of knowledge. Because the art of a warrior is to balance the terror of being a man

(Journey To Ixtlan by Carlos Castaneda) Don Genaro returned around noon and at don Juan's suggestion the three of us drove down to the range of mountains where I had been the day before. We hiked on the same trail I had taken but instead of stopping in the high plateau, as I had done,…

toltecschool.com

Especially the song that Don Genaro sings:


It is hard, when I feel this way, to remember that the universe is helping me. But as Don Juan would say, I must follow the path with heart.

 

[Korzik18]

Anyway, I won't be going to a mainstream concert any time soon. I don't think I've seen so many sheep in such a concentration in all my time at C, many of them were wearing FFP2 masks at this OPEN AIR... Another lesson learned

I'm sorry Mililea and I understand your feelings very well. I am in a similar situation right now, disillusioned with a theatre I attended for over 20 years and always thought their productions were the very best, filled with the deepest meaning that resonated in my soul. I started going to their performances when I was still a student at university, when I was young, searching for myself and for the meaning of life.
But when there was an attempt of revolution in Belarus (2020), it suddenly became clear that the directors and actors of the theatre see their own reality which is not the same as mine. It is a state-funded theatre, so they can't openly express their opposition position, and they simply include some subtle hints of disagreement with the policies of the state in every performance. Often it is completely inappropriate. It makes me not want to go to that theatre anymore.

They disappointed me a lot. It was as if a betrayal had taken place. But apparently creative people are too emotionally involved and can't always think logically, rationally. I can see this in my friend who is also a creative person, an artist, with a vulnerable and infantile psyche. She simply cannot cope with the avalanche of Orwell's reality, where war is peace, freedom is slavery, ignorance is power, and where not all people have a soul.

Today, many Russian musicians speak out against the war in Ukraine, releasing anti-war songs while continuing to perform at concerts and public events across the country. My teenage son told me that he doesn't care about their political stance and if he likes a song he will listen to it.

But I can't do that anymore!

 

[T.C.]

I won't be going to a mainstream concert any time soon. I don't think I've seen so many sheep in such a concentration in all my time at C, many of them were wearing FFP2 masks at this OPEN AIR... Another lesson learned

Do you think you had lacked contact with large numbers of the general public, and had gotten used to seeing the world more objectively than them, which lead to you assume that more people are awake than what you observed at the concert?

It sounds like you had a real emotional jolt. Maybe some of it had to do with the connection you felt to the artist and his music, too.

I’ve kept up with this thread and kept wanting to reply, but wasn’t sure which parts of your experience to focus on. The one thing that has come to mind each time I’ve read new posts, was the interaction between Laura and the C’s where Laura was waking up to the horrors of our reality, and the C’s said something like, “It’s not necessary to view everything as darkness and gloom. Rejoice at the death of your illusions.” And this was linked to recognising the two sides of existence, the good and the bad.

There are things in life that we can derive happiness from that are unfortunately mixed with propaganda or lies, or the erroneous beliefs of others. You have a kind of inoculation against lies now, and as jarring as it can be to be disappointed by someone you like or admire artistically when you find out they’re just a normal person who is as asleep as everyone else, this lie-inoculation can be used to separate out the wheat from the chaff, and still continue to enjoy the work of those people.

By the same token, everything’s going downhill fast, and it’s probably not the worst possible decision to maintain a physical distance from massive numbers of people, for many reasons. What’s important is why we might decide to do that. If it’s based on a disappointing experience caused by our beliefs and assumptions, we might throw out the baby with the bath water and miss out on opportunities to let off some steam and have a nice time at future events.

 

[Mililea]

It sounds like you had a real emotional jolt.

Oh yes, I had that one. But just as you were thinking about which part of my experience to write about, I was just as confused about what caused that experience. It was kind of all at once. Like it all connected at once and I can't say it was all negative either. Above all, I found the realisations that suddenly made sense together to be positive. I also didn't really feel bad between these people, I understood and accepted that they think this way because it was "instilled" in them every day. But I think I became aware of this power that comes out as a result when many of these people come together. And that too in this historic place. At that moment, I imagined the crowds of people who had thought or said much worse things in that place. And so one thought led to another.

Chris de Burgh is totally a normal person, he came across as very likeable and told us many private things. For example, he apologised that he couldn't do the concert two years ago because he wasn't allowed to perform, so he sang to his three grandchildren on his lap. One of his grandchildren is probably also the reason for his thinking about Putin, because she is an adopted child from Kiev, taken in by his daughter after 15 miscarriages. After that, she gave birth to another healthy set of twins (two boys).

This story, for example, touched me very, very much. I don't even want to imagine the pain this poor woman went through. I had two miscarriages and that changed my life completely back then. I don't think I dislike him as an artist anymore, especially just because of the connection with my mother, but it's this kind of concert that I might avoid. Since I go to concerts with my husband quite often (mostly rather smaller ones), I won't be able to avoid it completely and I don't want to, because as you say, you could throw the baby out with the bathwater. I have already experienced many positive surprises here.

 

[Nathancat7]

Watching others cheer on such blatant lies and self-destruction - that's so difficult and disheartening - it makes you feel instantly out of place, disconnected from these people. It brings you back to the objective reality that we have learned about, and continue to do so.

Yes, that's what it seemed to me, but well, there you go. What I thought reading your thread, is that sometimes we should control our pathologicometer a bit too (laughs).

When my mother was cold to me it really broke my heart.
Thing is I didn't know enough to live with the pain and move on, but became rather enraged.
What happened was I turned my back on a lot of the good qualities she had, and that are a part of me.
There's always going to be an alienation when being more aware of reality than people around us.
But that is why we have each other,
I feel the birds, the clouds, the air-communicate the truth,in the presence of a living, loving God.
It's alive, a the battle is communicated.
I know this sounds a bit flaky, just tired.
Basically I'm saying, or trying to say, what others are saying.