They’re not usually a laugh and more of a groan – but corny jokes are very much part of the traditional family Christmas here in the UK. These were the best (or arguably worst!) 15 I could find. Apologies in advance. :D
1) How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit?
No Brussels.
2) What do workers at Sports Direct get for Christmas dinner?
About 5 minutes.
3) How do you recognise a Christmas tree from BHS?
All the branches have gone.
4) What do you get if you cross Donald Trump with a Christmas Carol?
O Comb Over Ye Faithful.
5) Why has ex-US presidential candidate Hillary Clinton asked Santa for a 23-letter alphabet?
Because she is sick of F.B.I.
6) Why are Jeremy Corbyn’s Christmas cards on the floor?
His cabinet collapsed.
7) Philip looks out of the window on Christmas Eve: ‘That’s some reindeer’ he says.
The Queen replies: ‘63 years. Yes, that is a lot.’
8) What’s the difference between the clementine in your Christmas stocking and Donald Trump?
Nothing, they’re both a little orange.
9) What’s David Cameron’s favourite Christmas song?
All I Want For Christmas is EU.
10) I can’t get to the chocolates in my advent calendar.
Foiled again.
11) What do you call a boomerang that does not come back?
A stick
12) What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
"It's Christmas Eve"
13) What did Cinderella say when her photos didn’t arrive on time?
One day my prints will come
14) What goes "Oh, Oh, Oh"?
Santa walking backwards
15) What happened to the man who stole an advent calendar?
He got 25 days
1) How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit?
No Brussels.
2) What do workers at Sports Direct get for Christmas dinner?
About 5 minutes.
3) How do you recognise a Christmas tree from BHS?
All the branches have gone.
4) What do you get if you cross Donald Trump with a Christmas Carol?
O Comb Over Ye Faithful.
5) Why has ex-US presidential candidate Hillary Clinton asked Santa for a 23-letter alphabet?
Because she is sick of F.B.I.
6) Why are Jeremy Corbyn’s Christmas cards on the floor?
His cabinet collapsed.
7) Philip looks out of the window on Christmas Eve: ‘That’s some reindeer’ he says.
The Queen replies: ‘63 years. Yes, that is a lot.’
8) What’s the difference between the clementine in your Christmas stocking and Donald Trump?
Nothing, they’re both a little orange.
9) What’s David Cameron’s favourite Christmas song?
All I Want For Christmas is EU.
10) I can’t get to the chocolates in my advent calendar.
Foiled again.
11) What do you call a boomerang that does not come back?
A stick
12) What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
"It's Christmas Eve"
13) What did Cinderella say when her photos didn’t arrive on time?
One day my prints will come
14) What goes "Oh, Oh, Oh"?
Santa walking backwards
15) What happened to the man who stole an advent calendar?
He got 25 days
