22% Of Millennials Say They Have No Friends

[PerfectCircle]

First let me say that I am a millennial (born 1985).
Although this statement is generally true, I personally think in eastern Europe this result is lower. Maybe it is because of easterners being a little more conservative.
In Montenegro, where I live, generation Z has this kind of problem and it is very much expressed.

Millennials do feel a little bit lost, but still many of them spent their childhood outdoors and only got PC and mobile later on. They had to socialize and make friends, either good ones or not.
What I noticed as the bigger issue for millennials here, though, is an extreme materialistic goal they have. Everything revolves around the money, and there is no patience and work on oneself whatsoever. It has to be obtained fast and with as little effort as practically possible.
And most of them are very bad parents, as I can tell.

 

[stellar]

Chu,

I am not sure if I I know how to make any point in writing in reply to such a deeply and widely diverse matter such as friendship. What I wanted to say was something positive and constructive that might bring into attention that a lack of friendship has also an internal and very personal cause. It might not be pertinent, but I’ll tell you a story. My daughter has her leg in a cast. It is very difficult for her to move. One night before falling asleep she saw a spider close to the bed. She knew that she cannot do anything about it so she named the spider Lucas, and she talked to him, telling him that she will not do anything bad but he must leave the premisses. Next morning Lucas was gone. She made friends with Lucas.

That is really sweet. I'm more of a 'freeing it from the horrors of this world' mentality with the sole of my flip-flops.

 

[duyunne]

This article seems as if the ‘main stream mind’ is catching up to the sombre realism of our society.

Can’t it be that people are openly valuing quality over quantity these days? The stigma in admitting we don’t have many quality connections has no effect any more, so here we are, openly and gratefully unpopular!

I have 6 quality friendships when I focus on it and I’m certain 3 of them are deceiving me into thinking we’re friends!

Maybe it’s easier for me to say I have 3 instead?

 

[Beau]

I actually think it's less about millenials and more Gen Z. Millenials just seems to be a catch-all term used to describe young people, but in reality anyone born in 1995 or later is Gen Z so the young adults that are reporting the most loneliness, depression and anxiety navigating life aren't millenials at all. Gen Z are the ones who've lived their adolescence on social media and with phones in their pockets as teens. I feel like texting has replaced talking as the common form of interaction with young people and it's not beneficial. I actually know there's young people who specifically ask others not to call them because talking on the phone gives them anxiety. It's the older millenials and Gen Xers who, as parents, have helicopter parented these kids and haven't helped their children prepare for life in the real world. Plus they go to college and are coddled by the universities so that when they do get out in the real world, it's all too overwhelming. When that happens, they go inward and naturally feel more isolated and are too socially inept to be able to reach out and make new friends.

 

[nature]

I think we are here to learn some (harsh) life lessons. And the people who see what is going on and who do value friendship could focus on becoming a better friend themselves? That is what I am doing in my neighbourhood. I feel lucky in the sense that some of my neighbours are open to closer contact and even ask for help if something is going wrong or just because they need someone to look after their animals when they are on holiday.

Someone told me once that immediately after WWII when many people (if not most people) were dead poor that he lived in a neighbourhood where people would take others some soup. He talked about seeing people in the streets with their pots and pans. That's what we need and maybe these young people have to live through some hardship first before realising that they do need other people. FWIW.

Will they realize? . With this culture of entitlement, of putting responsibilities on others, of egocentricism, etc I'm afraid they will, at the contrary, sink more and more.

 

[Gwenllian]

Will they realize? . With this culture of entitlement, of putting responsibilities on others, of egocentricism, etc I'm afraid they will, at the contrary, sink more and more.

I don't know whether they will realise that they have a choice. It's easy to fall into despair (that applies to all of us). But if I look at all these young men and their tremendous response to Jordan Peterson's information that he is propagating throughout the world and the people that are actually applying that information by taking responsibility for their own lives then things may not be so bleak after all? Maybe some of these young ones may even flourish once they realise that other people may need them in times of crisis and may learn about interdependence for the first time in their lives. I could be wrong, but (young) people also want to feel needed, like their lives matter and who gives them that opportunity in this day and age? FWIW.

 

[Metrist]

Growing up as young kids, you have your neighborhood friends, and school friends, and when your kids it's easy to make friends. But in rural vs. urban settings maybe there's a big difference.

Urban settings have crime, various groups, ect. And this makes parents limit the ability for kids to make friends.

Then, when you become young adults, work takes time away from friendships. And as the economy is competitive as ever, and work is feast or famine (the ideal worker in our economy is someone who works long and hard, and puts a lot of money in the bank) The notion that work should be shared so as to give everyone some purpose, doesn't help the banks.

So friendships... There is little room for them. And society is divided between the haves and have nots, with the haves - in the role of producer for the banks - are not allowed friends by virtue of their workload.

 

[Gwenllian]

I thought the following quote of Stephen Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People in light of this thread interesting and it sort of relates to the Joe Rogan clip, @Cleo:

Our personal environment is also changing at an ever-increasing pace [Bear in mind that this book was published in 1989!]. Such rapid change burns out a large number of people who feel they can hardly handle it, can hardly cope with life. They become reactive and essentially give up, hoping that the things that happen to them will be good.
But it doesn't have to be that way. In the Nazi death camps where Victor Frankl learned the principle of proactivity, he also learned the importance of purpose, of meaning in life. The essence of "logotherapy," the philosophy he later developed and taught, is that many so-called mental and emotional illnesses are really symptoms of an underlying sense of meaninglessness or emptiness. Logotherapy eliminates that emptiness by helping the individual to detect his unique meaning, his mission in life.

Something to bear in mind when turmoil hits us and we don't know what to do with the young ones?