'Accidentally shifted to an alternative reality in 2012' admit CERN scientists

Joe

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Thought this one from the satire site 'Waterford Whispers News' was pretty funny and kind of true!

Accidentally shifted to an alternative reality in 2012' admit CERN scientists

Scientists at the European Organization for Nuclear Research, CERN, have admitted today to ending the world as we know it back in 2012, while performing experiments into the Higgs boson particle, WWN can confirm.

Speaking at the research facility in Switzerland today, several key scientists apologised for what they're calling a "terrible accident that has only come to light now".

The particle discovery capped decades of theory and was an important triumph for the Large Hadron Collider, however, recent experiments carried out by the LHC team have confirmed that not only did they successfully observe a particle consistent with the Higgs boson, but they inadvertently shifted the entire planet into an alternate reality in doing so, ending the previous model.

"Um, we're really, really sorry about this whole mess, but we accidentally ended the world seven years ago," CERN Director General Rolf-Dieter Heuer began, "yeah, we -flicked- up and we know it's probably a lot to take in, but right now, none of us technically exist.

"I'm not sure any of you noticed the strange goings-on over the past few years, but we've shifted into a parallel universe," he told a now eerily silent media room, "Trump, the rise of the Kardashians, insane wars that don't make sense, increasing UFO sightings, unpredictable weather patterns; it's all our fault, and we're incredibly sorry for the seven and a half billion people now living here".

The nervous looking team of scientists then warned off even more "crazy happenings" in the future, urging the planet's population to remain vigilant in this delicate dimension.

"Now, we're not saying an invasion from strange alien beings is on the cards, but if you could prepare for that kind of thing, that would be great," Heuer concluded, before hastily leaving the press conference under armed security.
 

Alejo

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"I'm not sure any of you noticed the strange goings-on over the past few years, but we've shifted into a parallel universe," he told a now eerily silent media room, "Trump, the rise of the Kardashians, insane wars that don't make sense, increasing UFO sightings, unpredictable weather patterns; it's all our fault, and we're incredibly sorry for the seven and a half billion people now living here".

"Now, we're not saying an invasion from strange alien beings is on the cards, but if you could prepare for that kind of thing, that would be great," Heuer concluded, before hastily leaving the press conference under armed security.

That was hilarious!! :rotfl: :lol2:

And it does ring kind of true.
 

scotseeker

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The nervous looking team of scientists then warned off even more "crazy happenings" in the future, urging the planet's population to remain vigilant in this delicate dimension. Perhaps a lot of truth to this sentence, great post Joe and LMAO! :rotfl:
 

ellaya

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This what happens when you observe too much particles in a Large Hadron Collider ......!!!
 

Arwenn

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That's funny lol, thanks for posting it Joe!

Woodsman said:
That's great!

Reminds me of one of my old Onion favorites...
~

Oh Woodsman, that's hilarious! 'Having now heard the details of the bill, can I ask you to cast your vote...'

Priceless!

:rotfl:
 

Fluffy

Jedi Master
So what year are we in? Is it just 5 or should we put a few zeros in front so it's more appealing on the eye when written down in calendar and date form??? 19/1/0005... January 1st 005

The love and lighters who actually thought that the world might end in 2012 will get their jollies out of this (yes, I admit I was one of those and I definitely have some jollies going on, the world did end, I knew it was true :P)
 

Alfisti

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In iocus veritas?

Seems jocular but really quite likely given the way things have gone/ are going!
 

Mark7

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Interest in "CERN" has been basically flat compared to recent search volume. It seems that a viral meme has appeared that suggests the Power-up of CERN to unprecedented levels over this July 4th and 5th will result in opening a dimensional door from which demons will pour into our reality.


So "don't drink on July 4th cern" and similar are trending because if one drinks, one might get possessed. People's TikTok and YouTube
channels are blowing up. The nagging thing is, that the possibility of something like that happening is probably not zero. However, it's almost certain to be an unfortunate viral internet meme, Possibly sponsored by unsavory agents of chaos. The 'clickbait' motive is there as well. The People sense something and are afraid, and they are grasping for explanations.

But 'they' already have working portals.

Cern_interest.png

And here is an example of what's going around. Take with a grain of salt of course.


Kinda disturbing that people are swallowing this stuff without what should be due consideration.
 
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