Advices for a social phobic?

[SolarMother]

Masamune--thank you for posting that hsperson test. i took the test and came up with a score of 27, which did not really surprise me, and at the same time I need to learn more about my sensitivity issues.
astrologically, i have a lot of cancer, libra and taurus in my chart (i have been practising/studying astrology since '86) and see that these archetypes are often fitting to describe hspersons...i have considered my cancerian sponginess a bloody curse, and envy folks who seem to be so much more detached and objective. EE is helping me to not feel, for instance, rejected so easily, and to deal with all that comes up of what was described in the test, armed with more knowledge. I have to work for it

Hi SolarMother,
I am reading through Elaine Aron's book now The Highly Sensitive Person http://www.amazon.com/Highly-sensitive-person-Thrive-Overwhelms/dp/B002G7CZTO/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1281852993&sr=8-5 and it has been very helpful for me in dealing with my sensitivity issues. I suspect that many people on this forum are HSPs because according to the author they tend to be more introspective, spiritual, compassionate, seeking answers, more aware of what is really going on in the world, and more aware of the emotional state of others. About 20% of people are highly sensitive and the number is the about the same in animals too. The book helps one to reframe their life. HSPs tend to have low self esteem because our society usually looks down on those that are highly sensitive in this psychopathic world. She also goes over their special needs, other ways to cope with their trait, ways to make money without being overstimulated, and many other things. I highly recommend the book if you suspect that you are highly sensitive or if you would like to understand other people who are highly sensitive.

Also the author talked about an interesting experiment about social anxiety in the book. When an HSP was in a social situation talking with someone they reported that they felt much anxiety and felt inadequate. In another instance a person was told that their feelings were due to overstimulation, from loud music for instance, and then the person felt very comfortable talking with another person - because they understood where their feelings were really coming from. The author suggests that HSPs are typically more socially adequate than non sensitive people but they misinterpret their feelings as social anxiety when in fact they do not come from a fear of the interaction but from the overstimulation of the nervous system. So I have found it interesting in myself to observe how I feel and to understand that I have a different range of stimulation where I feel comfortable than the average person does.

Here are a couple good videos also:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04gnoReKgD4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6DezjkilrSY&feature=related

Hi Masumane,
Thank you for that information, it was very helpful.
I am going to have my library order the book for me today, and looking forward to learning more about HSP.
One thing that I have noticed is that since I moved to the country and have become used to a certain amount of solitude and a lot of down time, my nervous system has calmed down. But when I come into town I watch myself getting over-stimulated in certain situations, so it is a learning situation for me to understand the different ranges of stimulation, as you were saying.

 

[HowToBe]

Str!ke, I think that you'll find your way through this as long you remember to self-observe. Wetroof suggested you take the more difficult path, which I think may be fruitful if you can practice self-observation in the face of your fears, and keep in mind your own knowledge and experience combined with what has been said here. An exercise that might be useful is to just to think about your fears and triggers, while observing yourself; your bodily sensations in response to those thoughts, psychological responses, emotional responses, and trying to really understand. You can do this in a place you feel safe, and it may help you make your decision of what to do.

I can testify that food (and sleep quality/regularity) can have a strong impact on self-observation. I'm only just exploring this but I've noticed that I'm having troubles self-observing today, which I think might be related to the three or so handfuls of Skittles I had yesterday... :/

I hope this is useful to you.