an issue that remains sin

[insipido04]

i wont deny that i have a great attraction toward young boys , i like boys , im 1x years old, and a boy
on the other side of me i've been dragged to knowledge all my life and i have come to think that this is a trap or even worst than that ...because nobody chooses their sexuality and may be im a pedophilic/phycopath or may be im not but this sensation is intencifing. you cant just wake up one day and say hey now im gonna have attraction for women"
{ i see a code in our personality but i cant read it yet its hard to explain
our reactions , feelings and generally ur own self is "codified" into your body i can feel it now and each "aspect"(circle) bring the one below like a chain; if u noticed it evenn the chain has a pattern like every thing
understanding these patterns is dealing with the code of whatever you look for...
when i started this thought several months ago i was attacked.... until now today i recall it the whole aspect not fragmented pieces like all my thoughts since then.
}
i want answers, i need to know why me, i see no side effect from any mental disorder, this was clearly meant to be but why its afecting me so much now


LEARN HOW TO LIVE IN THE VARIABLE IS ALLOW YOURSELF TO SEE LIFE'S MOVEMENTS

 

[abstract]

I apologize, but I found your post a tad hard to make out. So you're a teenage girl who is confused about her sexual orientation?

Mkay, first off:

want answers, i need to know why me, i see no side effect from any mental disorder, this was clearly meant to be but why its afecting me so much now

Take a deep breath, relax, and allow me (if you wish) to ask a couple questions.

How do you feel as of now? What will being attracted to women, or rather, how would this affect you and your relationships with people? Are you afraid of it?
Do your parents or friends have phobias or negative feelings towards homosexuals? Do you have negative feelings about homosexuals? Is this stressing you out?

I might be able to help, but I'd like you to be as specific as you can without detrimenting your privacy, free will, or otherwise. There's plenty of people on this forum who have been through

quite a lot, they may be better help than me. :)

 

[shijing]

i wont deny that i have a great attraction toward young boys , i like boys , im 1x years old, and a boy on the other side of me i've been dragged to knowledge all my life and i have come to think that this is a trap or even worst than that ...because nobody chooses their sexuality and maybe im a pedophilic/phycopath or maybe im not but this sensation is intencifing. you cant just wake up one day and say hey now im gonna have attraction for women"

OK, whoa. insipido04, the parts of your post that I bolded above give me great pause. I agree with abstract that its hard to make out exactly what you're talking about, and you seem like maybe you were under the influence of something when you wrote this, but irregardless -- no matter if you are male, female, or other, and you are feeling an attraction to young boys and wondering if you're pedophilic, then that is a huge red flag and I would strongly suggest getting some counseling (I feel like I'm in a bit over my head here, so someone who has more experience with this kind of thing please feel free to step in). It doesn't matter if you're not yet a legal adult, sexual interest in kids is never OK, especially if you are confused about whether or not it might be OK to act on those impulses. Please correct me in anything I am misunderstanding here, because your post (to the extent I understand it -- I don't get at all the second paragraph that you put in the curly braces) seems to me to be a cry for help in helping you deal with this issue.

 

[go2]

Insipido04, How old are you?

OK--I see you are 19. Have you sought professional counseling for this issue?

 

[abstract]

because your post (to the extent I understand it -- I don't get at all the second paragraph that you put in the curly braces) seems to me to be a cry for help in helping you deal with this issue.[/quote]

Yes, I speculated this as well. Counseling is good idea if you are feeling pediophelic. At the very least seek help from a trusted adult.

Insipido04, How old are you?

I don't think she wanted us to know, not sure why else she'd write it as 1X.

 

[Beau]

I don't think she wanted us to know, not sure why else she'd write it as 1X.

She is a he actually, and in his intro post he says he is 19.

 

[shijing]

Insipido04, How old are you?

I don't think she wanted us to know, not sure why else she'd write it as 1X.

Actually, its an excellent question, and in insipido04's intro post, he says he's 19, so actually he is a legal adult.

Edit: Just saw that Heimdallr beat me to that -- thanks Heimdallr!

 

[Beau]

I apologize, but I found your post a tad hard to make out. So you're a teenage girl who is confused about her sexual orientation?

No, the first sentence of his post reads:

i wont deny that i have a great attraction toward young boys , i like boys , im 1x years old, and a boy

 

[abstract]

Okay, thank you all very much for pointing out my mistakes, what is wrong with me today??? Somehow I got so confused! geez, lemme edit that one!!

Sincere apologies, i've made a fool of myself! I guess i was a tad dissociated when i read insipido's post, sorry again.

And to think a while back I was complaining about stupid people. very eye opening. Ahem, now i suppose we can get back to the topica at hand... :D

 

[shijing]

Sincere apologies, i've made a fool of myself!

Your confusion wasn't that egregious, abstract, don't beat yourself up too bad :)

But yes, let's get back to the issue now because since insipido04 has brought it up, its probably a very good idea to discuss it more.

 

[knowledge_of_self]

i wont deny that i have a great attraction toward young boys , i like boys , im 1x years old, and a boy on the other side of me i've been dragged to knowledge all my life and i have come to think that this is a trap or even worst than that ...because nobody chooses their sexuality and maybe im a pedophilic/phycopath or maybe im not but this sensation is intencifing. you cant just wake up one day and say hey now im gonna have attraction for women"

OK, whoa. insipido04, the parts of your post that I bolded above give me great pause. I agree with abstract that its hard to make out exactly what you're talking about, and you seem like maybe you were under the influence of something when you wrote this, but irregardless -- no matter if you are male, female, or other, and you are feeling an attraction to young boys and wondering if you're pedophilic, then that is a huge red flag and I would strongly suggest getting some counseling (I feel like I'm in a bit over my head here, so someone who has more experience with this kind of thing please feel free to step in). It doesn't matter if you're not yet a legal adult, sexual interest in kids is never OK, especially if you are confused about whether or not it might be OK to act on those impulses. Please correct me in anything I am misunderstanding here, because your post (to the extent I understand it -- I don't get at all the second paragraph that you put in the curly braces) seems to me to be a cry for help in helping you deal with this issue.

I have to concur with everything that Shijing has said. You seem to be in need of counseling in regards to everything you've written.

i want answers, i need to know why me, i see no side effect from any mental disorder, this was clearly meant to be but why its afecting me so much now

If you're confused about your sexual orientation is one thing, but having pedophilic thoughts is all together something else. Either way, you should seek therapy. And I assure you that from what you've written in your post it seems that you DO suffer from some sort of mental disorder, as do we all. You've taken the first step by bringing it into light, now you have to follow it through...

I suggest counseling asap, but if you cannot seek it immediately, you should at least start reading the recommended psychology books, osit.

Narcissism "Big Five"
Myth of Sanity - Martha Stout
The Narcissistic Family - Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman and Robert M. Pressman
Trapped in the Mirror - Elan Golomb
Unholy Hungers - Barbara E. Hort
In Sheep's Clothing - George K. Simon

 

[insipido04]

as you have just realized
you have to read a little more carefully and dint i mean DON'T assume anything.

now, I'm under the effect of EE program now lol to all of you who got surprised with the first reply here is another one.
I'm not stressed, or sick or ill or drunk ,high[, or nothing, for those who asked.

now let me start I'm about to be 20 next week[ , i got this attraction for the first time when i was ten, it didn't stop there it actually kept on growing as i grew.
i realized by having sex with people most of them older, that ANYthing that you like can be changed by will or external factors ironically i liked old men too on those days
now I'm "old" and nothing have disappeared just changed and even have become stronger. i like young boys and lately that feeling have increased i can control myself pretty well but nothing lasts for ever and that's where the question comes from

everyone says that i need a psychologist ...

maybe I'm a psychopath , but then , why am i here in the mouth of the wolf???

 

[insipido04]

i have no feeling or emotional need while writting im pretty sure since ten years already

 

[knowledge_of_self]

everyone says that i need a psychologist ...

Then perhaps you should see one?

maybe I'm a psychopath , but then , why am i here in the mouth of the wolf???

i have no feeling or emotional need while writting im pretty sure since ten years already

Yes maybe you are. But the question is what are you going to do about it? Do you like who you are? Do you like not feeling emotions since 10 years? Maybe I'm naive but I happen to think if someone spots something within themselves that they don't want than they have a chance to change it. They have a chance to stand up! So what are you going to do? Let your psychopathy rule over you?

If you really want to change you should start by talking about your feelings with a therapist. It will be worth it!

 

[insipido04]

you didn't get it
i recomend you to read again ... in fact thats one of the reasons of why i threw the last post away
is because i wanna talk the reason why i posted it in here , not because i need compassion of anyone i need answers
emotions hurt me for so long throughout my life until i learned how to get ride of them , though i lost such skill, but thats a different story

maybe as a psychopath i should kill myself not to hurt people i thought that already, but wait we have a paradox right here,dont we......


thats not an answer.