Are people who want to close their forum account spies?

[Buddy]

Re: All people who want to close are they their forum account spies?

All people who want to close are they their forum account spies?

My idea is that these people know and must come from the same country or it's just a jealous person who has several account. But I find the coincidence is too high for it to be the fruit of the chance. I think that this person or group hopes to create a panic effect and a dissident current.

Someone once described the forum as a "lobby" of sorts; like when you host a large get-together for family, friends or interested strangers. In such a situation you will probably see all possible behaviors - by individuals and small groups.

So, maybe the chances for such a coincidence may not be especially meaningful, how could we know for sure?

I think it's an interesting observation and question, though, because it shows you're paying attention to what's going on around you. :)

Possibly related to some of the concerns expressed in this thread is something I've experienced in my personal occupational work context.

As humans, we all probably have many more fundamental needs in common than not, so, here lately I've taken the position that when people moan and groan and gripe about something, it's mostly because something has disconnected them from related values. IOW, they're asking for help relating to something they've seen, heard or to some demand that's been placed on them.

But to help them, you have to know something about them and if they're expressing negativity while saying goodbye, then that's not the right time to help. That's the right time to honor their choice to leave and just let them go. Of course, the people I'm referring to are in my space because they've asked for help in the first place, but maybe there's something useful here that might help understand some people's behavior.

 

[Voyageur]

Re: All people who want to close are they their forum account spies?

Thanks Mr Premise, that quote really is appropriate here, I think.

Yes, that was astute of G to say.

The other thing is that we must always think about what benefits others. Why spend so much energy trying to make those who don't want to stay, instead of focusing on giving feedback to, respond to and network with people who DO want to be part of our home. If someone is puling a tantrum or trying to get our attention by making this "leaving scene", I'm not very inclined to beg. A different thing is when someone expresses doubts and is not sure, and ASKS.

Yes, asking is a key.

We also need to think about newbies. What impression are we giving if we "beg" for people to give us reasons or to stay? Maybe that could scare them out, thinking that we try to "hook people in", which is something we have never wanted to do, and never will.

A good reminder.

If they want to return, the door is always open. We never closed it, they did. But it's an opportunity for some of us to observe our reaction when those members leave, and understand why we feel (or not) the "impulse" to rescue those people. OSIT.

That is how I see it, too. Also noticed, is that elders here have seen many come and go, and some return again, and there is also the role of hospitality. Members here, in conjunction with 4th way work, welcome people and sometimes say goodby, as in life. Some people have a difficult time leaving, and as was said above, it can get drawn out when it does not need to be. On the other hand, some members who are leaving, who gave energy and received it back, may feel their own need to say thank you, sorry it did not work out - so many possibilities in this regard. However, having a sincere hospitable exchange; perhaps with them saying so-long, sorry, it's not for me type of thing, and vice versa acknowledgements by members, also is how a hospitable society conducts itself in life; as a general rule, osit.

Some people are angry when they leave, and sometimes the door has even hit them on the way out, yet of these, there have been some who have comeback and are members still today. Of these people, they may have even described their parting and realizations of it upon returning - like something was going on in their lives, a breakdown, or life changing socioeconomic event of some type. Sometimes it might be issues with cognitive dissonance, like what they discovered on the forum, in a particular thread, could just not be held in their minds - and that might change with reflection.

 

[Moonbird]

Maybe when those who announce they are leaving and ask for their account to be deleted, an appropriate response might be: Thanks for stopping by and checking us out. Good luck to you on your journey. Our door is always open if you choose to return. As requested, your account has been deleted.

Just throwing out my thoughts on this matter.

 

[davey72]

Maybe when those who announce they are leaving and ask for their account to be deleted, an appropriate response might be: Thanks for stopping by and checking us out. Good luck to you on your journey. Our door is always open if you choose to return. As requested, your account has been deleted.

Just throwing out my thoughts on this matter.

I would have to agree with this. My take on it was just a few people jumping on he bandwagon, so to speak.

 

[lainey]

Maybe when those who announce they are leaving and ask for their account to be deleted, an appropriate response might be: Thanks for stopping by and checking us out. Good luck to you on your journey. Our door is always open if you choose to return. As requested, your account has been deleted.

Just throwing out my thoughts on this matter.

I would have to agree with this. My take on it was just a few people jumping on he bandwagon, so to speak.

After reading this thread I would have to agree that I think it's an ego thing. It's almost like they are saying "your forum isn't good enough for me, don't you want to know why?" Then they are waiting for people to beg them to stay and give them attention. It's a shame to see them go but the work isn't for everyone and speaking from experience it takes time and effort to get to a place where you can share regularly with confidence and with the intention of being part of the team. Life's conditions may simply not allow it for them at this time and hopefully they will find the will power to return.
I did wonder about the mention of lessons at the point of exit though. Timejack's exit in particular. Do you think s/he meant that s/he had lessons to learn or that they thought we were meant to learn a lesson in order to be worthy of his/her's presence?
Their last 3 posts was discussing the Don't flatter yourself thread (http://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,38552.msg580984.html#msg580984) so I'm leaning towards the latter.

 

[SummerLite]

Lainey,

It's a shame to see them go but the work isn't for everyone and speaking from experience it takes time and effort to get to a place where you can share regularly with confidence and with the intention of being part of the team.

From experience I can say that's definitely true. Its a process and it takes time and its not easy. I came here with a basic understanding of what this work requires, looking at oneself basically. I'd already been doing this for years but interacting with others here brings to the surface still more to see in myself. There are layers to this unfolding of self knowledge and its a ongoing commitment. Its certainly worth going through the painful struggle though. I find the "suffering time" becomes shorter and insight is acquired more quickly as I willingly go through this process of self reflection. One needs to be willing to jump into the soup. Chicken, beef or bone broth? If we can throw some humor in there it helps. Don't forget to laugh.

 

[cubbex]

If I'd be a spy I would work to have more access to the core of the group and any groups made in it, the more info I have on the workings of the group and the people on it, the more succesful as spy one is.

But here is pointless, an open forum, plus a private one that does not really contain the secrets of the universe just a more personal interaction like real names and such, so lol no. Plus with the tech of today spying a private forum is not that hard either. So, if someone would like to be a spy on the forum, acces to IP would be important. Damn... maybe we are all already localized.

I think, right-minded person never leave this forum.

Not necessarily. There are many reasons for a person to leave. Sometimes it's because of some personal circumstances, and sometimes they are not ready yet for the Work as practiced here. There are many members who left, only to return months or years later after they have dealt with some external or internal issues in their lives. Others have left never to be seen again, but that's how life is, everyone has the free choice, and we respect that: No judgment and no hard feelings. The doors are open both ways.

I assume some of these folk don't see the benefits this forum provides as well as the benefit of doing the work. The work goes two ways, it benefits others and it benefits the self. It is possible some think of the work and the forum, the same way others may look at science, that is a "dogmatic habit". Thing is, truth is truth either if you agree or not, some want to be free of believing lies. Is ok, but don't blame others when your face smash the wall in front of you.