At another cross roads...

[KristinLynne]

You know guys the more I have read of the materials... the more I've come to look at the members of this form as the Library of Minds and the Warrior for Souls. I sometime read the discouragement of people having to live the two separate lives between the illusion and the real one and have felt the same off and on through out my life. But each of you have made a difference, however small, to do the right things but study them first and then testing them later.

This is why I feel comfortable enough to ask for an opinion... although it is still hard for me because my problems seem so small compared to what I read that some of you are struggling with. But I am at another cross roads in my life with no idea of what to do next. The long and short of it is...

After my son died in 08 and my savings were drained I was forced to default on my mortgage and credit card and move in with my long time friend. I've been helping him since then and have invested some of the money from my sons lawsuit into his business which vetted long after my default. Things are stalled here and now I must make a decision to leave because it has become clear that my friend does not intend to hold up his end of the bargain. Yes it is hurtful because it is so unnecessary but I think the repayment won't be a problem... but we shall see.

Our problems were more of a personal nature and while I will always be grateful for his help it is time to move on. He is firmly in the matrix and I respect that but I would like to be free. The problem is it will take some time for us to work this out, but in the mean time I have to decide where to go. He is my last tie to this area and there is no other support system available. I've lived in NC all my life and know that this will be the next fresh start and would like to get out of this state. But having read that many of the places around the world are in their own personal hell of sorts, I am at a loss at to which direction to turn... in more ways that one.

I had always had a dream about buying a small RV and just traveling around the states, working odd jobs for food and gas but realize that is probably foolish at this time. Especially being a lone female in new surroundings. But the point I guess is, I won't have a lot of money but I do want to make the best use of what is left.

I've been on my own for a long time but it really is different now. My family disintegrated after Trey's death and I have taken the time to heal as much as possible but it has left me without friends because it was so hard to reach out during the process. I am truly at a loss and would greatly appreciate any ideas. Thank you for listening...

 

[bngenoh]

Hi KristinLynne,

From my experience when faced with a crossroads, it has helped me greatly to meditate and just open myself to whatever life has to teach me, the answer will come if you are open and discerning.

Hope that helped.

 

[Mrs. Peel]

Our problems were more of a personal nature and while I will always be grateful for his help it is time to move on. He is firmly in the matrix and I respect that but I would like to be free. The problem is it will take some time for us to work this out, but in the mean time I have to decide where to go. He is my last tie to this area and there is no other support system available. I've lived in NC all my life and know that this will be the next fresh start and would like to get out of this state. But having read that many of the places around the world are in their own personal hell of sorts, I am at a loss at to which direction to turn... in more ways that one.

By NC do you mean "North Carolina?" There are pockets of Forum members across the U.S., there is a group in the NYC area, in MA, and now near Baltimore. Unless you are comtemplating a move out of the country...

 

[Laura]

Can you afford to support yourself at present? What are your job skills?

 

[Foxx]

This is why I feel comfortable enough to ask for an opinion... although it is still hard for me because my problems seem so small compared to what I read that some of you are struggling with. But I am at another cross roads in my life with no idea of what to do next. The long and short of it is...

I don't recall the exact quote (and didn't find it after a quick search), but I recall the Cs saying something along the lines of "a question unasked is a problem unsolved"--no need to worry about your problem feeling small! It sounds like it feels pretty big to you, and that's what matters, I think.

It's certainly a tough question for where to go. I've been contemplating this myself lately and haven't come to any clear answers. If you feel strongly about getting an RV and traveling, I don't see it as necessarily problematic or from flawed thinking. Traveling does have its ups and downs though and getting odd jobs might be challenging. I've heard some women talk about getting larger sized dogs which provides them a sense of security and may make them less of a target (and be nice traveling companions), FWIW. Have you ever traveled much? Maybe it's not a permanent solution, but it could be an enjoyable time and a growing experience for a while. And what is a permanent solution these days, anyway? That's my current thinking, which could certainly be flawed itself.

I recently changed living situations and am visiting a community I lived at in Virginia (having basically no idea where I was going to go after or what I was going to do when leaving my other situation) and ended up getting an online job I was seeking to get for about 6 months the day after I arrived. The living situation is unresolved as I'll have to leave here at some point within the next couple of months, but perhaps the universe does reward action, even if you don't know where it's going to take you?

I hope this helps and that you find an answer in yourself to your question :)

 

[KristinLynne]

Hi KristinLynne,

From my experience when faced with a crossroads, it has helped me greatly to meditate and just open myself to whatever life has to teach me, the answer will come if you are open and discerning.

Hope that helped.

Thank you bngenoh and yes I do meditate but it hard to focus on just that. I end up on matters that are much larger and mean more for the world, if that makes sense? But I will surely keep at it and maybe and answer will reveal itself. :)

Our problems were more of a personal nature and while I will always be grateful for his help it is time to move on. He is firmly in the matrix and I respect that but I would like to be free. The problem is it will take some time for us to work this out, but in the mean time I have to decide where to go. He is my last tie to this area and there is no other support system available. I've lived in NC all my life and know that this will be the next fresh start and would like to get out of this state. But having read that many of the places around the world are in their own personal hell of sorts, I am at a loss at to which direction to turn... in more ways that one.

By NC do you mean "North Carolina?" There are pockets of Forum members across the U.S., there is a group in the NYC area, in MA, and now near Baltimore. Unless you are comtemplating a move out of the country...

Mrs. Peel, yes I am in North Carolina but I doubt I'll be moving out of the country... it is a little daunting by yourself. It's really interesting that some of the form members come together for groups, although I didn't think that was encouraged. Maybe when I've finished cleaning my machine I'll look into it, but I by no means what to disturb the flow of energy for the more advanced ones. I truly think the work that is being done is so much more important and respect each of your efforts.

Can you afford to support yourself at present? What are your job skills?

Yes Laura I can, I live simply and as long as I have an internet connection I have most of what I need. I have odd job skills but am not afraid to work doing anything... except for maybe fast food, because it is so bad for our health. I've learned bookkeeping, worked retail, bartender, courier for a law firm and have been a private investigator, which was basically a glorified babysitter for people with more money than sense. I am pretty good at organizing things and have helped set 2 small business up when they first started.

I will have enough by the end of the year at the latest to make the move. I just would like to make the right choice and not waste this time or money. I really want to do some good with the little I have... much like a lot of you are doing.

This is why I feel comfortable enough to ask for an opinion... although it is still hard for me because my problems seem so small compared to what I read that some of you are struggling with. But I am at another cross roads in my life with no idea of what to do next. The long and short of it is...

I don't recall the exact quote (and didn't find it after a quick search), but I recall the Cs saying something along the lines of "a question unasked is a problem unsolved"--no need to worry about your problem feeling small! It sounds like it feels pretty big to you, and that's what matters, I think.

It's certainly a tough question for where to go. I've been contemplating this myself lately and haven't come to any clear answers. If you feel strongly about getting an RV and traveling, I don't see it as necessarily problematic or from flawed thinking. Traveling does have its ups and downs though and getting odd jobs might be challenging. I've heard some women talk about getting larger sized dogs which provides them a sense of security and may make them less of a target (and be nice traveling companions), FWIW. Have you ever traveled much? Maybe it's not a permanent solution, but it could be an enjoyable time and a growing experience for a while. And what is a permanent solution these days, anyway? That's my current thinking, which could certainly be flawed itself.

I recently changed living situations and am visiting a community I lived at in Virginia (having basically no idea where I was going to go after or what I was going to do when leaving my other situation) and ended up getting an online job I was seeking to get for about 6 months the day after I arrived. The living situation is unresolved as I'll have to leave here at some point within the next couple of months, but perhaps the universe does reward action, even if you don't know where it's going to take you?

I hope this helps and that you find an answer in yourself to your question :)

Thanks for reminding me Foxx that unasked questions = unsolved problems, no matter the size. I have done some traveling with my jobs but it's not the same I'm sure. I do have a bulldog but think I may need to add a bigger dog if I do decide to go this route. My Gus is a pushover and not that intimidating in the least. :D The availability of odd jobs any where is what concerns me because I know it is tight all around for so many others.

Congrats of getting the online job! Does this one let you work from home or do you go to the office? Without much knowledge of the type of business is why I ask, but is it something you can do if you do decide to travel? Perhaps the universe does reward action and I am open to the possibilities.

Thank you all for taking a moment to reply and it is much appreciated.

 

[Foxx]

Thanks for reminding me Foxx that unasked questions = unsolved problems, no matter the size. I have done some traveling with my jobs but it's not the same I'm sure. I do have a bulldog but think I may need to add a bigger dog if I do decide to go this route. My Gus is a pushover and not that intimidating in the least. :D The availability of odd jobs any where is what concerns me because I know it is tight all around for so many others.

Congrats of getting the online job! Does this one let you work from home or do you go to the office? Without much knowledge of the type of business is why I ask, but is it something you can do if you do decide to travel? Perhaps the universe does reward action and I am open to the possibilities.

Thank you all for taking a moment to reply and it is much appreciated.

I'm sure at least some predators would see any dog of reasonable size as a deterrent since they don't know what the dog would be like if they were to attack and predators also probably primarily follow the path of least resistance. But, of course, you'd have to do whatever makes you comfortable.

Thanks for the congratulations :) I can work from anywhere with an internet connection with this job, which is exactly what I wanted. Doesn't answer where to go, but it certainly provides options and I'm sure I'll figure something out.

 

[supriyanoel]

I am so familiar with your story which you posted and I have read it with care. It is very weird that I'm sitting here in N.Y. asking alot of the same questions as you. I keep Trey in my heart and will never forget him because of you. I wish I had some input and I'm waiting to see what responses come up.Do you have enough money for a RV? I read of a group of women who travel all over in their RVs and to me I can see you having the gumption and the chutzpah to carry that out. I don't think I have the guts,being alone except for my 2 doggies,so maybe you don't either.I am thinking of making a move to Charlotte,N.C,although I don't have jobs lined up.I teach yoga here and my house is for sale,and if it doesn't sell I need to get roommate. I know its not encouraged for good reason to interact personally.It's just very odd that I am sitting here processing,letting go,after experiencing the loss of 2 of my most supportive family members,and having a rough time,and here you are.I'm actually talking to the both of them(mom and Nana) and asking for guidance and continued support,5D or not,and sobbing and I came across your post. I know you've had your share of painful friendships and are as careful as I am.I love people,however I prefer the company of Lacey and L'ouja,and am not animal CRAZY.Well maybe a little,all of them,even the scaly ones and feathered,and unanimously unattractive ones.Getting off the topic.I think you are freer than you may think. Your needs are established,you are extremely knowledgeable and won't make uniformed choices.I would love to say come up here and rent and if I sell we'll both go to N.C and I'LL buy the house and you rent.But that sounds so crazy,sort of.Only you sharing that memoir makes me say it but you don't know me. I could be a narcissistic,borderline wacko.Then again... but it hard to say.I want to make sure you have funds if your on the road and definitely hook in with fellow established travelers.Otherwise it seems not much is holding you back. I have researched different places and its really about getting the feel for it.I would say stay,save,put more feelers out and wait. There is no rush.I will help anyway I am able so just ask. You have given a lot in this life as many of us have,and been put through a lot of painful stuff,REALLY painful things that many of us have to.I think both of us need some space to breathe a lot better.AZ.or COLO.?The jury's still out. I'm rooting for you.The time for the internal torture,indecision,and general hellishness,albeit learning is at hand for Libras.OSIT

 

[lake_george]

Hello KristinLynne,

I can commiserate with your situation.

I bought an older mobile home, in an older mobile home park in a small town. At the time I had 6 indoor cats and 1 dog (all rescues). It is perfectly gorgeous here. The winters are a bit dicey, but in the summer I have only ever had to use the air conditioner a few days. I am by myself, but the neighborhood is very safe.


Good luck and best wishes!

 

[SeekinTruth]

KristinLynne and supriyanoel, I don't have any specific helpful advise. I just wanted to give you support to tell you to hang in there. I hope things work out for you in these difficult times. I'm sorry to hear about your losses of loved ones, supriyanoel. Sunday May 6 was one year since my father died. We went to visit at the cemetery. It was a pretty emotional day with ups and downs, even more so than 6 months ago which was his birthday (he died exactly 6 months to the day from his birthday).

I just wanted to give you both emotional support. I think it's worth looking into the advise by lake_george. Best wishes to you both.

 

[RGG]

I've been on my own for a long time but it really is different now. My family disintegrated after Trey's death and I have taken the time to heal as much as possible but it has left me without friends because it was so hard to reach out during the process. I am truly at a loss and would greatly appreciate any ideas. Thank you for listening...

Hi KristinLynn,

While I can't pretend to have any expertise on your situation, I will say that my husband and I both lost our jobs on the same day, a week before this last christmas. It was quite awful but part of the reason things went badly is because we both pushed ourselves into situations that required a lot of personal compromise and it just wasn't sustainable. Well we learned that lesson the hard way and resolved that this time we would be patient, we would leave no opportunity unexplored and we would make full use of all of our available connections. Well we waited...after 4 and a 1/2 months, my husband accepted a great position and I somehow just landed the job of my dreams- one that I had NEVER even considered a possibility I might add. The entire time we tried very hard to remain patient and I continually reminded myself that universe takes care of itself. Looking back, it felt as though we were both literally picked up and redirected like my son does to his pet turtle. One thing that stands out for me when reading your post is the quote above. Connections are so important in navigating your way through this crazy world and with out them, you're just left tired and exhausted from treading water on your own. Is there a possibility that there is anyone that you've distanced yourself from that you can reconnect with?? Your explanation of needing to distance yourself during the grieving process is perfectly valid. Would anyone in your former circles be able to accept this or would you be willing to let them have the opportunity to try? Buying an RV and traveling the country does sound exciting but it could also sound like running away..

Rx

 

[KristinLynne]

I am so familiar with your story which you posted and I have read it with care. It is very weird that I'm sitting here in N.Y. asking alot of the same questions as you. I keep Trey in my heart and will never forget him because of you. I wish I had some input and I'm waiting to see what responses come up.Do you have enough money for a RV? I read of a group of women who travel all over in their RVs and to me I can see you having the gumption and the chutzpah to carry that out. I don't think I have the guts,being alone except for my 2 doggies,so maybe you don't either.I am thinking of making a move to Charlotte,N.C,although I don't have jobs lined up.I teach yoga here and my house is for sale,and if it doesn't sell I need to get roommate. I know its not encouraged for good reason to interact personally.It's just very odd that I am sitting here processing,letting go,after experiencing the loss of 2 of my most supportive family members,and having a rough time,and here you are.I'm actually talking to the both of them(mom and Nana) and asking for guidance and continued support,5D or not,and sobbing and I came across your post. I know you've had your share of painful friendships and are as careful as I am.I love people,however I prefer the company of Lacey and L'ouja,and am not animal CRAZY.Well maybe a little,all of them,even the scaly ones and feathered,and unanimously unattractive ones.Getting off the topic.I think you are freer than you may think. Your needs are established,you are extremely knowledgeable and won't make uniformed choices.I would love to say come up here and rent and if I sell we'll both go to N.C and I'LL buy the house and you rent.But that sounds so crazy,sort of.Only you sharing that memoir makes me say it but you don't know me. I could be a narcissistic,borderline wacko.Then again... but it hard to say.I want to make sure you have funds if your on the road and definitely hook in with fellow established travelers.Otherwise it seems not much is holding you back. I have researched different places and its really about getting the feel for it.I would say stay,save,put more feelers out and wait. There is no rush.I will help anyway I am able so just ask. You have given a lot in this life as many of us have,and been put through a lot of painful stuff,REALLY painful things that many of us have to.I think both of us need some space to breathe a lot better.AZ.or COLO.?The jury's still out. I'm rooting for you.The time for the internal torture,indecision,and general hellishness,albeit learning is at hand for Libras.OSIT

Thank you supriyanoel and I am so very sorry for your losses. It does change how we look at things in the world and then having to learn to live without the ones we love. It does ease up after some time but it never really goes completely away. So take as much time as you need. I too am much closer to my dogs than some people so, we have that in common.

I will still be here for at least 6 months or so to sort out everything and do as much research as possible on what to do. I will have enough to by a small RV with some left over so that's not a worry at this time. I'd love to read about those women who travel around in the RV's. They would have some handy info about the whole experience. And thanks so much for the offer to help... but you already did by reading, remembering Trey and just having someone to talk to really helps to much.

I know the frustrations of trying to sell in this economy so I can relate to your situation too as you read. But I've heard of a few people who've had success in selling their property so don't give up! Once I close up shop here and get mobile then the future is open so we may just cross paths! Charlotte's not all bad... It's just all I really know.

Hello KristinLynne,

I can commiserate with your situation. And, I lived in North Carolina from 1984 - 2007 in and outside of Charlotte.

I moved to New Hampshire because of a guy I met on line; the relationship was a mistake and ended pretty quickly, but I am so very happy to be here.

I bought an older mobile home, in an older mobile home park in a small town. At the time I had 6 indoor cats and 1 dog (all rescues). It is perfectly gorgeous here. The winters are a bit dicey, but in the summer I have only ever had to use the air conditioner a few days. I am by myself, but the neighborhood is very safe.

It is really easy to live pretty cheaply in New Hampshire. A decent trailer can be had these days for maybe less than $20,000. They are even cheaper in the parks that are for people over 55. There is no sales tax, there is no state income tax, although there is property tax. If you work online that is even better - I work online too and so I don't have to worry about shoveling snow at the crack of dawn.

So if you are more inclined to stay put somewhere rather than travel, this could be a workable alternative.

Good luck and best wishes!

Another escapee for NC! And thanks for the suggestions. I have heard that New Hampshire was beautiful and it maybe on the list, even if for a short time. What type of online work is available to someone with limited skills? There are training courses or classes to learn I'm sure maybe at the community college... but what classes do I look into for that? It's sounds ideal and thanks again!

It really means a lot to have a place to discuss idea SeekingTruth so again... thank you all.

I've been on my own for a long time but it really is different now. My family disintegrated after Trey's death and I have taken the time to heal as much as possible but it has left me without friends because it was so hard to reach out during the process. I am truly at a loss and would greatly appreciate any ideas. Thank you for listening...

Hi KristinLynn,

While I can't pretend to have any expertise on your situation, I will say that my husband and I both lost our jobs on the same day, a week before this last christmas. It was quite awful but part of the reason things went badly is because we both pushed ourselves into situations that required a lot of personal compromise and it just wasn't sustainable. Well we learned that lesson the hard way and resolved that this time we would be patient, we would leave no opportunity unexplored and we would make full use of all of our available connections. Well we waited...after 4 and a 1/2 months, my husband accepted a great position and I somehow just landed the job of my dreams- one that I had NEVER even considered a possibility I might add. The entire time we tried very hard to remain patient and I continually reminded myself that universe takes care of itself. Looking back, it felt as though we were both literally picked up and redirected like my son does to his pet turtle. One thing that stands out for me when reading your post is the quote above. Connections are so important in navigating your way through this crazy world and with out them, you're just left tired and exhausted from treading water on your own. Is there a possibility that there is anyone that you've distanced yourself from that you can reconnect with?? Your explanation of needing to distance yourself during the grieving process is perfectly valid. Would anyone in your former circles be able to accept this or would you be willing to let them have the opportunity to try? Buying an RV and traveling the country does sound exciting but it could also sound like running away..

Rx

Hi Rx and I am so glad to read you and your husband found wonderful careers. It gives me a little more hope that finding something rewarding is out there. And you are right it does sound a little like I want to run away. I've dreamed of getting the RV for many years while I worked in corporate and that dream kept me going for a long time.

Just since the beginning of this year I have reconnected with my two good friends and now they are both married with their own families and careers to care for. So many changes but they are doing wonderfully. It was bittersweet.

My situation is a bit different in that my friend and I are just friends and not intimate. It has been a question in the air between us for 20 years and the answer has remained the same. But it is something that he wants and I think I need to move on so he can find what he is looking for. He has a right to be happy and I understand the 3rd wheel concept clearly.

 

[RGG]

My situation is a bit different in that my friend and I are just friends and not intimate. It has been a question in the air between us for 20 years and the answer has remained the same. But it is something that he wants and I think I need to move on so he can find what he is looking for. He has a right to be happy and I understand the 3rd wheel concept clearly.

Sorry, I'm a bit confused- Are you saying that the relationship with the person you are living with will not work even though you've both wondered about it for 20 years because he's in the matrix and you're not? And you feel like a third wheel around the other two friends that are married with children-is that right? I'm just asking because I was confused as to who you were referring to between your first post and your response to me..

Edit = Quotes

 

[KristinLynne]

My situation is a bit different in that my friend and I are just friends and not intimate. It has been a question in the air between us for 20 years and the answer has remained the same. But it is something that he wants and I think I need to move on so he can find what he is looking for. He has a right to be happy and I understand the 3rd wheel concept clearly.

Sorry, I'm a bit confused- Are you saying that the relationship with the person you are living with will not work even though you've both wondered about it for 20 years because he's in the matrix and you're not? And you feel like a third wheel around the other two friends that are married with children-is that right? I'm just asking because I was confused as to who you were referring to between your first post and your response to me..

I am sorry... it is a bit confusing. The 2, I reconnected with this year are females friends now with their own families. The other male friend of 20 years is who I live with at the present and only for the last 3 years. We are just friends and not intimate for many reasons... at least on my part but when I moved in it had seemed like those old questions were resolved. Until a few weeks ago it came up again and then it made me realize that he is not as okay with it as I had thought and been told. Because we are just friends it doesn't seem right to stay here for it seems like it may be torture for him. He has a right to be happy and if I can't do that... then it is only right that I move on. Hope this helps clear it up some.



Edit=Quotes

 

[supriyanoel]

Krista Lynn ,thanks for the vote of confidence.Let us know of your whereabouts,I'll keep an eye out for you.LakeGeorge,your description sounded right up my alley,and I like the north.A women with a very large LG hoodie,tye-dyed was walking into a store and it was that hoodie with the logo that made me want to ask her about it.But,alas I did not.And now you mention it so I'll take a look.SeekinTruth,the cemetery is one of the places that is close to my heart,and I go alot.I hope you were able to connect there because in the beginning you can be in such shock and pain that it is very comforting. Its another reason that I get torn about moving away. Everyone in the family is there in that cemetery including me in the 3D future on Earth. In body that is. As insane as it may sound, it feels like I would never come back, living or dead. A certain amount of attachment is involved,and one more issue to be released.Its a place that I now own,and what to do with it?Offer it to friends,sell it?I start to stress at the thought.I like the idea of renting a RV,which KristLynn may want to do.Then its insured,maintenance agreement where you don't have to worry about breaking down,unless you can afford a new one.They are way expensive and expensive to fix too. I'm not trying to be a diehard,just looking at all aspects.I offer my sincere condolences about your father SeekinTruth, and hope you are not being hard on yourself and getting past any guilt .Getting responses of care and concern that you have all given me helps a lot and I'm grateful y'all are here.