Back to reality

[Thebull]

After 11 months away from work (employment) this week I have returned to my office. Personally during my time off and prior to this I have considered if The sales environment is beneficial for me. The sales environment I work is not entirely cut throat but you come across individuals who I would politely say only think about themselves, I have prior to this in the office sales/environment personally experienced run in's with individuals who maybe deemed as psychopathic and the experiences were a great learning curve for me. I am aware how the corporate environment works and I have no love for my profession though I need to make a living to support my family like everyone else.

Anyway in short an individual is trying to steal one of my accounts. I have seen this happen on numerous occasions and I understand the reason's but it is not what I am concerned about. I talked to the individual by phone and I realise a decision will made by his sales manager and mine who the account will sit with. it will end up a dispute between the 2 offices and go to Director level. The clear guidelines in place won't make any difference and no action will be taken for the individuals breaking the rules. In the end business is business as long as the account is opened where it sits in our company is irrelevant.

Once I ended the call with the individual I can only describe it as complete anger surging through my whole being. I can honestly say I could of punched him. I work with a colleague who I have a good relationship with and although I should of taken deep breaths I vented (no external consideration). She was understanding as she realises my frustration as other people have had difficulties in dealing with the same individual. It made me aware how little control I have over my own affairs in this type of environment. I also was shocked at the level of anger as I have experienced individuals like this one before. Maybe that is a red flag as he's so similar to the others!

During my time off I had started to read and look at the direction I'm going in life. I have been practicing EE one of the reasons been to help me before my return to my full time employment. I am shocked at how angry I feel about this incident. I felt complete rage and did for about 6 hours afterwards. I think I have posted to help me try and process why?

I had decided before my return to work to be patient and give myself time to fit back in. If I wasn't settled I could look for something else. If I'm reacting to situations like this and I cannot control my emotions maybe it's time to look for something else. The sales environment may not be fo me anymore.

 

[Alada]

Once I ended the call with the individual I can only describe it as complete anger surging through my whole being. I can honestly say I could of punched him. I work with a colleague who I have a good relationship with and although I should of taken deep breaths I vented (no external consideration). She was understanding as she realises my frustration as other people have had difficulties in dealing with the same individual. It made me aware how little control I have over my own affairs in this type of environment. I also was shocked at the level of anger as I have experienced individuals like this one before. Maybe that is a red flag as he's so similar to the others!

During my time off I had started to read and look at the direction I'm going in life. I have been practicing EE one of the reasons been to help me before my return to my full time employment. I am shocked at how angry I feel about this incident. I felt complete rage and did for about 6 hours afterwards. I think I have posted to help me try and process why?

I had decided before my return to work to be patient and give myself time to fit back in. If I wasn't settled I could look for something else. If I'm reacting to situations like this and I cannot control my emotions maybe it's time to look for something else. The sales environment may not be fo me anymore.

That rings a bell. Its one of the things that similarly shocked me on starting with EE, the amount of anger I contained which I had absolutely no idea was there. I thought I was a ‘nice’ guy, and ‘nice’ guys don’t get angry right? Well, if you don’t get it out it’s to to go somewhere, be expressed somehow or repressed and converted into some other problem.

So maybe you can take it as a good sign, you have emotions, be joyous! Think of them like horses that have been kept in a very small stable for a very long time. When finally the locked doors of the stable are oiled and and unjammed, the horses can be freed, naturally at first they are going to kick and run as fast as they can to express that which has been repressed. It does come out in unexpected ways though no? Innocent bystander “Would you like a cup of tea?” Me “Leave me alone I’m trying to work, I don’t have time for that, I’m so busy I just need peace and quite god dammit, leave me alone!”. It really was that silly with me, little things would set me off, I never could tell which poor soul I would make suffer next.

Thankfully it does change, and this is why I think you should be happy to have found a connection. We need a full range of emotion in order to function properly, to get more accurate readings of certain things and to work. A piano with only one working octave has a very limited repertoire.

As for the guy stealing your account, maybe that is being coloured by the level of repressed anger coming up. If you have been out of the loop for eleven months and this is your first week back, it’s understandable that something like this would happen. Nothing stands still for long where there’s potential money to be had. So maybe let the account question be whatever it turns out to be and focus on keeping the emotional connection open and managing that (get some reigns onto the horses).

The key is in learning when it is appropriate to express our emotions externally, and to what extent – no good completely freaking out over something that only warrants a stern expression of measured anger, or nothing at all if our head can inform us in time (the driver needs to learn how to handle the reigns). Takes time and practice, but now you the material to work with. ;)

 

[Thebull]

Thank you Alada,

I genuinely believed my anger had manifested from dealing with a psychopathic individual. You have now guided me probably unknowingly to contemplate something completely different. I wasn't looking at my own anger. I was posting on my limited understanding of how I've reacted to Imo a psychopathic individual. I apologise if I didn't express myself with clarity. The individual is based in another office but he has the same energy signature as two psychopathic individuals I have worked alongside earlier in my life. I've only met him once so I could be mistaken.

In all honesty that anger has been in me from early in my life. EE is the tool that recently showed me I think where it originated from. I probably in hindsight should be posting there. I seem to Make a lot of noise while attempting to network so apologies.

 

[obyvatel]

I genuinely believed my anger had manifested from dealing with a psychopathic individual. You have now guided me probably unknowingly to contemplate something completely different. I wasn't looking at my own anger. I was posting on my limited understanding of how I've reacted to Imo a psychopathic individual. I apologise if I didn't express myself with clarity. The individual is based in another office but he has the same energy signature as two psychopathic individuals I have worked alongside earlier in my life. I've only met him once so I could be mistaken.

Hi Thebull,
It is useful to pay attention to both aspects - your own anger and the behavior of the other person. It is likely that part of the anger is a legitimate response to the actions of this other individual. A part of the anger could be related to different reasons, like previous experiences unrelated to this specific event, but having enough in common to trigger some associations. Some possible examples of related previous experiences could be interaction with bullies, having been unfairly treated by others etc.

BTW, your nick "the bull" is known for its explosive anger. It is a very strong and gentle animal in general - but it gets very angry when provoked. It may not have much to do with the present situation though, but since you picked this nick, I thought I would mention it.

[quote author=Thebull]
I seem to Make a lot of noise while attempting to network so apologies.
[/quote]

I do not agree with that assessment after going through your posts. My suggestion would be not to think/worry about it; trust the network to point out to you if your posts become noisy.

 

[Alada]

I genuinely believed my anger had manifested from dealing with a psychopathic individual.

We have to remember to be very careful with making assessments like that, to avoid the temptation of labeling everyone we don’t like as a psychopath or OP. As the Cs pointed out, it takes long and careful observation and a lot of background knowledge / information, even then we can’t be sure. Something to keep in mind.

In all honesty that anger has been in me from early in my life. EE is the tool that recently showed me I think where it originated from. I probably in hindsight should be posting there. I seem to Make a lot of noise while attempting to network so apologies.

Oh? I hadn't noticed any noise, it’s probably just negative ‘inner considering’ / narratives running, don’t worry about them. ;)

 

[Shared Joy]

After 11 months away from work (employment) this week I have returned to my office. Personally during my time off and prior to this I have considered if The sales environment is beneficial for me. The sales environment I work is not entirely cut throat but you come across individuals who I would politely say only think about themselves, I have prior to this in the office sales/environment personally experienced run in's with individuals who maybe deemed as psychopathic and the experiences were a great learning curve for me. I am aware how the corporate environment works and I have no love for my profession though I need to make a living to support my family like everyone else.

.....

I had decided before my return to work to be patient and give myself time to fit back in. If I wasn't settled I could look for something else. If I'm reacting to situations like this and I cannot control my emotions maybe it's time to look for something else. The sales environment may not be fo me anymore.

Hi Thebull,
I know what is like working in sales- you have to make nice, even when you are very furious, frustrated, overwhelmed.
It's understandable, that you had a huge accumulation of repressed emotions, so don't be surprised at your reaction.

If you think of walking away, why would you do it without fighting for your rights? You have nothing to loose, anyway. But you might regret later that you gave up too easy. Conceive a plan - learn to know these employees and employers. Maybe you can find somebody to help you in working out and applying it. Surely there are things you can do too.
It is not easy if this doesn't fit in your character, but is a good way to handle pent up emotions by acting. You could tame your emotions, you could learn some techniques about being wise as a serpent and gentle as a dove.

What does it sounds like?

 

[casper]

Reading some of your past posts, I see that in the past few months a lot has changed in your life, you become a father.
Children look to their parents, imitating them, copied, learn from them. Learn to overcome anger, Count till 10 before you react.

....you could learn some techniques about being wise as a serpent and gentle as a dove.

Expert advice !!!

 

[Thebull]

i would like to answer some of your specific quotes by selecting them in here and responding beneath but I haven't worked out how to do this, sorry!

looking back now I had a right to be angry by the action of the other individual this is natural in the circumstances. As Alada has suggested I may well be releasing emotions from practicing the EE program and I feel that might have made the situation extremely intense especially after my absence.

I was genuinely an angry/aggressive person up to my mid twenties but intense work and meditation helped me overcome this (not completely by the looks of it!) Over the the last months I have been very aware and alert while interacting In my personal relationships trying to ensure I demonstrate external consideration. I suppose no one is perfect and blips will happen along the way. This episode has allowed me to look at my anger again and probably for the first time I think specifically where it started.

The bull nickname at the time was chosen as i am a Taurean and I've acted like a bull in a china shop at times. As Obyvatel mentioned about the bull, its true I can react if provoked and I just need to learn channel that anger.

I wouldn't walk away to avoid the confrontations and I feel I have an excellent understanding of the colleagues I work with. 11 months is a long time out of the fold . Going back to work from a loving home environment and during that time I've spent a good deal of time outdoors on a daily basis. Then back to 8 hours in the office would be a strain on anyone. The office environment is quite negative, energy wise and I will of also been dealing with the effects of that.

Shared joy I think that's something I can work towards been wise as a serpent and gentle as a dove.

Casper I am very aware of the responsibilities of parent hood and it's also one of the reasons I'm here now.

I am starting to trust the network here quite ironic my comment on my own noise was just that noise!

Thanks for your observations and input it's been extremely helpful for me.

 

[casper]

i would like to answer some of your specific quotes by selecting them in here and responding beneath but I haven't worked out how to do this, sorry!

To insert quotes in messages:
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Casper I am very aware of the responsibilities of parent hood and it's also one of the reasons I'm here now.

Large responsibility,but also happiness :) :) :)