Bad news

Angchop

Jedi Council Member
We just got some bad news the other day. My boyfriend's dad just found out that he has stage 4 pancreatic cancer that has spread to his liver. He is 74 years old and up until now, he had been pretty healthy and never sick. He is getting chemotherapy to slow it down, but there isn't much that they can really do. He was told that without chemo he would only have one to two months.

He seems to have a positive attitude, and says he is going to be fine and will beat this. I think it is good that he is positive, but I also think he may be in shock, because he is acting like it is no big deal.

My boyfriend has 2 sisters and 2 brothers. Their family dynamic with their father is kind of strange. He is kind of a pot stirrer, and for the most part everyone is always at odds with one another because of their father and the things that he does. I think this next few months are going to be pretty tough..especially for his dad of course, but I am feeling like things could ugly between the rest of them as well. He has been quite hurtful to them over the years, and right now they all are going through many emotions, some not knowing what to feel.

I am just trying to be supportive as possible. Trying to remain objective and staying out of the middle of it. This weekend I am making a bunch of meals for his dad and wife to have on hand to just pop in the oven when they are too tired to cook.

We will see what the next few months will bring.
 
I'm sorry to hear that Angela. It sounds like you have prepared yourself well for whatever events may unfold, never the less, it will certainly be trying and difficult for everyone. We're here if you need anything. :hug2:
 
Lilou said:
I'm sorry to hear that Angela. It sounds like you have prepared yourself well for whatever events may unfold, never the less, it will certainly be trying and difficult for everyone. We're here if you need anything. :hug2:

My sentiments, as well, Angela. :hug2:
 
Angela said:
I am just trying to be supportive as possible. Trying to remain objective and staying out of the middle of it. This weekend I am making a bunch of meals for his dad and wife to have on hand to just pop in the oven when they are too tired to cook.

Sad news indeed, no doubt its going to be a difficult, harrowing time. Its a terrible thing to have to watch a family go through that, I had a similar experience a few years back with the mother of my partner at that time. It was a painful journey for all.

Being as supportive as possible is all we can do under the circumstances I think, thought it can be very frustrating. It’s difficult not to get swept up by the emotion of events or get overly wrapped up in other people’s ‘films’ by trying to ‘help’ and ‘fix’ things, to make things better – especially where we haven’t been asked. All we can do is play our part in the film as well as we can – in our supporting role, understanding that we are not the main actors - but you seem to have a handle on that. Hang in there. :hug2:
 
That is sad news Angela.

Angela said:
I am just trying to be supportive as possible. Trying to remain objective and staying out of the middle of it. This weekend I am making a bunch of meals for his dad and wife to have on hand to just pop in the oven when they are too tired to cook.

That's the best you can do. I am sure they will appreciate the meals. Don't forget to pipe breath :hug2:
 
SeekinTruth said:
Lilou said:
I'm sorry to hear that Angela. It sounds like you have prepared yourself well for whatever events may unfold, never the less, it will certainly be trying and difficult for everyone. We're here if you need anything. :hug2:

My sentiments, as well, Angela. :hug2:

Mine as well. :hug2:
 
Thanks everyone....yes it seems that the biggest challenge for me is going to be able to be supportive without having to try and "fix" things. I am really close to my boyfriend's sister, and she is really having a hard time. She is very bitter towards their father, and in my opinion she has been through a lot of hurtful things with him.

She is here right now from out of state, and last night it was pretty rough. She and my boyfriend were on the phone with their other siblings, and by the time they were done comparing stories, everyone was all upset. You see, their father tells each of them a different story, keeping everyone basically at each other's throats. Now they are speaking to one another and finding out the lies that have been told. Here they have the information that their dad is dying, but they also have the information that he has caused a lot of heartache. No one knows what to feel. I am just trying to be a good listener.

It is going to get bumpier before it gets better.
 
I feel for you Angela, and for your boyfriend, and his siblings. I can understand how they may be feeling, as i learned that my father was not my real father just before he got cancer, and died. I was almost wanting to tell him this in a vindictive way. (He was a very cruel man), but it was a little harder to think this way when he was dying. I hope they work it all out.
 
My thoughts are with you also, Angela. Try to remember not to neglect yourself at this painful time.
 
Paddyjohn said:
My thoughts are with you also, Angela. Try to remember not to neglect yourself at this painful time.

Yes good point! ((((HUGS)))) during these difficult times!
 
I'm sorry Angela. Thought I would share a couple of posts with you. I'm thinking that it might either help him with his pain, provide some relief and/or slow down the cancer's progression:

http://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,21599.msg258583.html#msg258583

Researchers at the MD Anderson Cancer Center have found that Boswella can deactivate the key receptor on cancer cells (pancreatic and breast cancer cells were tested) that allows the cancer to spread and invade.

http://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,13241.msg135209.html#msg135209

_http://www.sawilsons.com/cancersenema.htm

By Kristen Philipkoski
02:00 AM Oct, 30, 2002 EST

A study testing a controversial pancreatic cancer treatment that uses coffee enemas should by all rights be nearly complete.

But three years into it, Dr. Nicholas Gonzalez has only 25 of the 90 patients he needs to complete recruitment for the trial.

His clinical trial has been stalled by economics, logistics and outright prejudice against the twice-daily enema regimen, despite a promising pilot study.

"I'm the first person to say it: In the oncology world I'm a very controversial guy," Gonzalez said. "But we're trying to do very serious research."

Because pancreatic cancer is one of the most deadly types, it doesn't take long for researchers to find out if one treatment extends life longer than another. In the pilot study, Gonzalez's treatment more than tripled the 5-1/2 month life expectancy of pancreatic cancer patients on standard treatment.

Still, because the program is unusual, oncologists have not been chomping at the bit to refer their patients to the Gonzalez trial, which is being carried out by the Columbia College of Physicians and Surgeons.

Many seem troubled by the coffee enemas.

"I respect his willingness to have his regime studied," Barrie R. Cassileth, chief of integrative medicine at Sloan-Kettering, told the New Yorker last year. "But the coffee enemas are ludicrous. He ought to just get rid of them."

But Gonzalez said they are an integral part of the program. Caffeine stimulates certain nerves in the lower bowel, he said, that trigger a neurological reflex that makes the liver -- the body's main detoxification organ -- work more efficiently.

He says he follows the program himself as a preventive measure, works 14 hours a day and feels great.

"I thought (coffee enemas) were yucky when I first started doing them -- I had to get used to them," he said. "But I felt so much better from the first day that I never looked back."

Gonzalez began his latest study in 1999 with a $1.4 million grant from the National Institutes of Health -- a coup for an alternative treatment. The NIH predicted he would sign up the patients he needed in three years, but it's taken Gonzalez much longer.

"In the United States it's hard for a therapy that represents not only a different paradigm clinically but a different paradigm economically," said Peter Chowka, an investigative journalist who has reported on alternative medicine for 25 years and served as a consultant for the NIH Office of Alternative Medicine.

Gonzalez's treatment includes two coffee enemas every day, plus about 150 supplements in pill form and a strict organic and vegetarian diet -- none of which are patentable and therefore are not potential blockbusters for drug companies.

You can't even buy the supplements used in the treatment at a health food store. Gonzalez has them specially made for the clinic.

"You're not going to go to the store and find 'Gonzalez Supplements' with my smiling face on them," he said.

It's not the kind of treatment most oncologists are accustomed to. But Gonzalez believes conventional pancreatic cancer treatment is much more unpleasant.

"When dealing with oncologists I always say, 'You give bone marrow transplants to patients, injecting toxic drugs and almost killing them,'" Gonzalez said. "Compared to that, coffee enemas are not that big a deal."

Another reason oncologists might prefer to send their pancreatic cancer patients elsewhere is that pharmaceutical companies often pay a "bounty" of around $8,000 per patient when doctors refer them to drug makers' trials.

"It's a very common practice, and the competition for subjects is fierce these days," said Arthur Caplan, director of the University of Pennsylvania's Center for Bioethics. Study volunteers are not always told about this potential conflict of interest, he added.

The rationale behind the bounty is that the oncologist loses a patient and should be compensated for lost income. But Gonzalez believes the practice skews trials.

"I don't think it should be that way, although it's perfectly legal and legitimate," Gonzalez said. "We're not doing that. This is a government study and government studies don't do that."

However, Jeffrey White, director of the Office of Cancer Complementary and Alternative Medicine at the National Cancer Institute, said that financial incentives don't actually work very well: Less than 5 percent of cancer patients in the United States participate in clinical trials.

Surveys also show that about half of patients never hear about the trials. And when they do, only about half of those patients are willing to participate.

What really gets Gonzalez riled is that some researchers suggest the patients in his pilot study may have been healthier than those in other pancreatic cancer studies to start with, thereby skewing results. One National Cancer Institute website, for example, mentions this possibility.

"That's a pile of garbage," he said. "There's no such thing as a group of pancreatic cancer patients that lives a long time."

Outside labs performed the diagnoses and biopsies for the patients in Gonzalez's pilot study, he said. Of 11 patients, eight were in stage four, meaning the cancer had spread to other organs.

Such a diagnosis is almost always a death sentence. Only 4 percent of all pancreatic cancer patients live five years or longer, and more than 80 percent die in the first year.

Gonzalez was incredulous that anyone might believe he could handpick "healthier" cancer patients.

"I have this magical ability to find pancreatic cancer patients no one has ever been able to find? We can outsmart an entire pharmaceutical company in our puny little office with one other doctor?"

In the National Cancer Institute's largest study of 126 patients, none lived longer than 19 months. In Gonzalez's pilot study, two patients lived for four years and one for almost five. The median survival time was 17 months.

Although Gonzalez looked at just 11 patients, it was impossible to ignore the data.

Despite the promising evidence, some patients are not willing or able to comply with the demands of the therapy, which also requires that patients take some of the supplements in the middle of the night.

But at 78, Edmund Rubin of Sarasota, Florida, says he's happy to comply with the regimen. Rubin was diagnosed with liver cancer in 1990. He took an interferon drug for nine months, which caused constant flu-like symptoms. Despite the treatment, doctors found a second tumor behind his ear. Fifteen radiology treatments later, the tumor was still there and doctors gave him six months to live.

That's when he heard about Dr. Gonzalez's treatment.

"In six months I regained my weight and the second tumor completely disappeared," Rubin said. "I had a CAT scan and bone scan a year later and there were no signs of tumors."

Rubin has been in remission for 11 years and still faithfully adheres to the Gonzalez regimen. He calls it "labor intensive" -- he can spend up to six hours a day administering it. It costs him about $6,000 per year and, although it's not covered by insurance, he gets about $2,000 back from the IRS.

Gonzalez began developing his treatment at Memorial Sloan-Kettering School of Medicine in the early 1980s.

During this time, Gonzalez compiled data from an orthodontist who became famous for treating Steve McQueen's cancer with coffee enemas and nutritional therapies, William Donald Kelley. For five years, Gonzalez analyzed Kelley's data, and by the time Gonzalez finished his immunology internship, he had written a 300-page treatise on Kelley's therapy.

Gonzalez was called crazy and a fraud, but he says the data was compelling and that's what mattered. He opened his own practice in New York City in 1987.

Despite the criticism, Gonzalez has played by the book. He wanted the opportunity to test his treatment, and he's gotten it. But he may have to wait several more years for results.

"No matter what one thinks of his approach," Chowka said, "I think you have to give him credit for the way he's gone about trying to validate it -- by working closely with the NCI and the NIH and all that entails, and by adhering to the scientific method."

There should be more research, but just so you know. Never mind the vegetarian nonsense, the pilot study was centerered around coffee enemas and the results were so incredible that I never forgot that study. You'll find more info and the recipe for the coffee enema here:

http://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,13241.msg135209.html#msg135209
 
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