Barely Controllable Emotions

[pneumaticmatt]

Okay, I thought I would turn to SOTT for some feedback.

Over the last three or so days I am having some barely controllable issues with my emotions.
It seems to be greater but not limited to home. I am also having an extremely difficult time concentrating at work. I am unable to figure out what the heck is going on. Even writing about this makes me well-up. I rarely cry and when I do, there is always a pertinent reason.
I been through some difficult times over the past five years and I have had some damn good reasons to cry but couldn't or didn't.

I did have a full blown uncontrollable crying spell back in September of 2007 (first time anything like this has ever came over me). But I attributed this to the fact that I had not been home to visit in 17 years. When I "lost" it that night I felt as though I was responding to my own frustrations of passing judgment on my brother. I started crying when I realized I was passing judgment on someone else and I got very emotional towards myself for making these judgments. "Who are you to pass judgment on someone else...don't you have enough to work on about yourself?" I probably cried uncontrollably for 30-45 minutes, sobbing and trying to catch my breath. My brother was fairly understanding, although he had no idea what was taking place until I finally calmed down enough to tell him why I was crying.

When I returned home to Austin, Texas I confided in my friend what had happened. As we were talking I was thinking back about that night and I had this feeling or thought that maybe part of what had happened could have been some negative entity or energy in the space we were in and that I was absorbing or reflecting this energy. I guess I was trying to make some sense out of this crying spell.

Currently there is plenty of the usual stresses in my life yet I do not feel that these are causing me any abnormal stress. I guess my question to ya'll (Texas slang), is might this be some 3D or 4D negative activity? Or should I just chalk this up to the time of the month for me (tongue in cheek as I am a man)?

Has anyone else had this type of uncontrollable crying spell but is unable to explain what or why it is happening?

 

[anart]

Hi matt,

It's difficult to say for certain, not knowing you or your specific situation - but - I just wanted to mention that as people begin to 'wake up', it is often accompanied by an awakening of the emotional center.

This can be a pretty freaky thing to experience if one's emotional center has been shut down over their lifetime (which is really common). It's also quite a valuable thing, because without a fully functional emotional center, little real Work can be done.

So, from a '4th Way' standpoint, this may be a really powerful and 'good' development (though you may need to learn to keep it under wraps since sleeping people tend to think you're really weird if you're crying all the time or laughing with joy at simple things).

While I certainly can't know for sure that what you experienced was not 'negative entity activity' - I would be quite surprised if it wasn't simply a manifestation of your emotional center coming to life after a lifetime of being shut down and 'dead' (especially since you were in a potentially emotionally volatile environment that might have triggered childhood memories). There is enormous power in a fully functional emotional center - so perhaps a crying spell might be a really good sign, instead of an ominous one. fwiw.

 

[Beorn]

Hi Matt,
recently I also have felt a greater propensity to cry although so far I have been able to control myself. This seemed to occur after periods of self observation where I realized the emotional center has a much greater impact on me then I originally thought.

I've always thought of myself as the 3rd man but recently have questioned if that is really the case. While I still think the intellectual center is dominant is it possible that through work the emotional center is finally shifting into/or towards balance with the intellectual center?

In my case it was the emotional center trying to say "Hello! It's time to deal with this broken down, tired old emotional center." Even though I don't know what or how exactly, just that it is there and needs some work.

Maybe it is the same for you?

Jeff.

 

[Color]

I guess I was trying to make some sense out of this crying spell.

Currently there is plenty of the usual stresses in my life yet I do not feel that these are causing me any abnormal stress. I guess my question to ya'll (Texas slang), is might this be some 3D or 4D negative activity? Or should I just chalk this up to the time of the month for me (tongue in cheek as I am a man)?

Has anyone else had this type of uncontrollable crying spell but is unable to explain what or why it is happening?

Hi Matt,

FWIW I've been through one 'crying spell' recently... It started with building up emotions inside of me during a period of 2 weeks or so, for no apparent 'outside' reasons, and it ended in crying my heart out... I was crying for almost 3 days. One night I didn't sleep at all, just crying. It felt like loosing my mind or even dying, so intense it was. But it passed

I can not say what's the case with you, just that I find some similar features within your post - I was mostly confused cause I've been through so many hard and stressful times without a tear and then, suddenly, all those tears coming for no 'good' reason?
I see it now as a 'cleaning time', not something from the outside I 'picked up'. Quite the opposite, it was coming from deep within, the 'pushed away in the darkest corner me', feelings I repressed so greatly that I couldn't recognize them as mine, once they finally came to the light.

 

[Ominous]

There's something serious going on internally for sure, IMO. Like others have said, crying like that oft times accompanies realizations or awakenings. Purely speculation tho. Personally, I wish I could cry like that. I haven't shed a tear in years. But, I'm sure you will find some answers here because there are SO many knowledgeable people around always willing to help those honestly asking for help. You came to the right place, IMO. All the best to you.

 

[pneumaticmatt]

There's something serious going on internally for sure, IMO. Like others have said, crying like that oft times accompanies realizations or awakenings.

I do feel this is the case concerning my first crying "spell". Currently this emotion appears to be waning and I almost feel like I am back to my normal state of confusion.

(though you may need to learn to keep it under wraps since sleeping people tend to think you're really weird if you're crying all the time or laughing with joy at simple things).

I had feared starting to cry because I didn't want to lose it and alarm anyone. Nor was I sure how long it might last AND really I don't have a place to go and cry nor the time, nor did I want to give up the energy. (WOW...what a whiner). I think I'm past this point, but on the other hand am not sure if I may have missed out on a cathartic experience.

I also find it interesting that the term "spell" is often mentioned when there is an unexplainable crying.

From Answers.com

Dictionary: spell2 (spĕl) pronunciation
n.

1.
1. A word or formula believed to have magic power.
2. A bewitched state; a trance.
2. A compelling attraction; charm or fascination: the spell of the theater.

tr.v., spelled, spell·ing, spells.

To put (someone) under a spell; bewitch.

[Middle English, discourse, from Old English.]

I did feel this almost as a trance as I couldn't break or stop it. I mean I know I should not try and control others, but I should be able to control myself!? This control of myself is part of my whole being that I'm trying to grow. So a sense of non-control felt like going in reverse in my quest for growth. I do realize though, that metaphorically speaking you can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs. So I would lean towards Color's comment that this is a "cleaning time" and I have egg shells all over the place, I burned the toast, the coffee is cold, I'm out of butte.....

Thank you all for the feed back I definitely needed it!